He would have picked Adam out even if there had been a dozen fair haired young blokes serving behind the bar. For early evening on a weekday the wine bar itself was fairly packed with after-work drinkers and as it was the start of the month long raucous forerunners to office Christmas parties where everyone seemed to be intent on getting hammered as quickly as possible so the bar staff were busy but there was something about the sharp way he'd looked up at the door when they'd walked in and the way that his eyes hadn't focussed on Molly but had looked Charles up and down … It had underlined that this was almost certainly the ex-husband, or her very nearly ex, she hadn't actually said the decree absolute was .. absolute …. yet, and somehow he hadn't thought to ask, had just assumed it was. His curiously wary expression as they approached the bar was another giveaway as he nodded an unsmiling acknowledgement of Charles' presence with Molly, his wife, who wasn't really his wife, and who, according to her, never had been.
"Princess" Adam nodded and smiled as he leaned across the bar and pecked her on the cheek then turned to look at Charles as she did her best to hitch her bum up onto a high bar stool. Charles put out a hand and helped her up "So this is … errr ….. ummm ….errrm …. Charles?"
Somehow Charles didn't quite believe in the 'Your name escapes me for the moment' act that Adam had just staged for his benefit but put out a hand for him to shake murmuring 'Yup that's me, nice to meet you Adam' as he did so. Adam grabbed at his hand and gave it a hearty shake, doing his best to crush his bones while Charles smirked to himself and resisted any temptation that he felt to join in with the let's try and break someone else's fingers contest. He knew he didn't need to; there wasn't a shadow of a doubt that it was a contest he would win. He could literally feel the waves of anxiety that were coming off Molly and wished he could put his arm round her to reassure her but hesitated, wondering if it might make him look as if he was making a point, some gesture of triumph, but then did it anyway, resting his hand reassuringly on the nape of her neck as his fingers gently massaged the skin underneath the waterfall of her hair. If this was going to turn into a pissing contest, he was going to win.
"How was Belinda?" Adam turned to look at Charles, a slight disingenuous smile on his face and then looked back at Molly "Alright was she, and the others?" He didn't wait for her to answer him before turning back again with a slight smirk on his face so that Charles got the distinct impression that Adam was enjoying himself "Have you met the Dawes family yet? Interesting bunch, especially her Nan" He turned back to Molly and ignored the look on her face as she gave him her best death stare "Did you tell them about us, about me, all about Vegas? Were they surprised?"
"Adam, tell you what would be really good, if you could stop being an arse now, and nah, course not, but they was bloody glad I'd come to me senses" She shrugged then attempted a giggle while still glowering at him "Could understand why I couldn't wait to see the bleeding back of you … what do you think, moron?"
"Sorry, bit peach schnapps was it? You alright?"
"Fine"
"Have you noticed Charles that when our Molls says 'fine' like that what she really means is 'fuck off and die why don't you'?"
"Adam, shut up, do you see me laughing? You're not being a bit clever ….. or funny"
"Sorry Princess …. didn't mean to upset you … so, is Lisa coming down tonight do you know?"
Charles was looking from one to the other with his professionally impassive mask firmly in place as he tried and failed to read the expressions on their faces, while all the time he kept his hand firmly on the back of her neck. The nuances of the conversation may be escaping him but he could feel the undercurrents between them as Adam served their drinks and then, despite his protests, insisted that they were on the house, an obvious equaliser in the pissing contest as far as Charles was concerned.
Over an hour later and it was almost certainly time to go, he'd had enough and could tell that she was flagging, exhausted from the tension. The friends that had barrelled in earlier, whether by design or coincidence he didn't know, had seemed a reasonable enough bunch who'd all looked pleased to see her and had laughed with her when she'd described in graphic detail all about the camp in Yemen and how the sand had got everywhere, how it had given them all gritty backsides. And her friends had all looked at him with varying degrees of curiosity, had whispered several deeply embarrassing comments which he couldn't help overhearing and which had made her smirk before she'd nodded in agreement with them.
The group also included the Lisa that he'd heard so much about. When they'd first arrived she'd been very quiet and ….. watchful …. as he'd done his best to be polite and pleasant but she'd just looked at him with her eyebrows very slightly raised in a sort of disbelieving sneer as if it was a 'mystery' to her what Molly was doing with him. A blonde girl, reasonably pretty although a bit too sharp featured for his taste, but he'd taken an almost instant dislike to her. He was very aware of the part that this Lisa had played in the debacle that had been Vegas, not all her fault of course, Molly made her own decisions but he didn't much like the way she kept making barbed comments, little pinpricks that were obviously designed to make Molly uncomfortable in the name of teasing, but which were upsetting her. She didn't actually say that she didn't find it funny, but he could tell from the way her shoulders were getting more and more tensed up around her ears whenever Lisa made one of her 'little jokes' at Molly's expense.
-OG-
"Do you want to go soon?"
His breath was warm against her cheek as he bent down and whispered in her ear making all the little hairs shiver. She nodded, she'd been ready to go almost since the very first moment they'd set foot in the sodding place. This had been a mistake, as she'd known it would be ever since she'd first suggested this cosy little get-together in the wine bar, she couldn't think now what the fuck had possessed her to even mention it, let alone to get on and do it.
The last couple of hours had been her idea of a sodding nightmare, first Adam making little comments that were designed to worry Charles. He'd been insinuating that they had a past, which they did of course, just not the one he was trying to imply and the fucker had even mentioned the schnapps which he'd promised he wouldn't but which he obviously thought had somehow got funny now. She'd spent the rest of the time being worried about what the fuck he was going to say next. The girls had all looked at Charles standing there next to her smiling at everyone the way he was and being lovely to everyone with his arm round her and they'd all had their bloody tongue's hanging out, probably the same look as had been on her face the first time she'd clapped eyes on him, except in her case she'd very quickly hated him. But that was then and sometimes she forgot just how bloody gorgeous he was, to her he was just Charles, as they all pulled their 'raise your eyebrows, open your eyes as wide as they'll go and chew your knuckles' faces behind his back. The faces that said 'I definitely would, lucky, lucky you' All except for bloody Lisa of course who'd kept on shaking her head and making crappy little comments that she was pretending were meant to be jokes. She was still trying to show Adam that she was on his side and didn't seem to get it that there weren't any sides and that Adam and her were toast. There were times, and this was one of them, when Lisa needed sorting and Molly had every intention of doing it the next day, there was absolutely no way that bloody Lisa was going to get away with the shit she'd pulled tonight.
"Yeah, thought you'd never ask, let's go"
Their farewells were made against a loud chorus of very ribald comments which made Charles squeeze her shoulders and throw his head back to laugh as she gave them a one-finger salute behind her back and then swung her hips in an exaggerated wiggle as they exited the bar out onto the freezing cold High Street where there were shreds of frosty mist around the street lights.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, bleeding cold out here though innit?" He put his arm round her to try and cuddle her into his side to share the warmth of his body with her "Thank you for …. well, putting up with all that … shit"
"It was fine"
As he said it he remembered with Adam had said about the hidden meaning when she said the same thing, and he could see that Adam had made a fairly accurate assessment, it was something he'd heard her do on many occasions, often with him when she'd first served under him, but he'd meant exactly what he'd said, it was fine.
"I just want you to be happy"
"I am"
Somehow he doubted it, for some reason he didn't quite believe what she'd said.
"But I'm sorry about fuckwit, I mean Adam, well both of them really, Lisa 'n all, and all that shit about me family 'n that, I dunno what he thought he was doing, yeah they like him, but Christ knows what he thought he was trying to prove"
"Hey come on, not your fault, and I'm sure your family will get over it, they just care about you that's all" He'd adopted that calm reasonable adult Captain voice that royally pissed her off "They're your family, they just want what's best for you Dawsey"
"You don't know 'em" She took a deep breath to control the overwhelming urge she had to kick him as they walked down the High Street, he didn't understand, but then why would he, as far as she could recall his family was bloody normal "I know all that, and that you're most likely right, I DO know that Charles, but with my lot ….. best is not what's best for me, best is what they want, and last time I didn't do what they wanted no bugger spoke to me for fucking months" Her voice became all thick and quivery with a mixture of laughter and incipient tears "Sorry …fucking Adam" she took a deep breath "Sorry, can we talk about some'ing else now?" Molly pinned a smile on her face as she nudged him with her elbow. It wasn't his fault, none of it was, not her family behaving like dicks, or bloody Adam being the assistant dick or Lisa being a cow, none of it.
"Of course we can" He smiled down at her "I'm looking forward to getting to know them"
"Who? Me family? Nah, you're not, not gonna happen"
"What? Are you going to keep me hidden away from them for the rest of our lives?" He squeezed her shoulders again as they walked towards where the car was parked "Has to happen sooner or later and I promise I won't show you up, I won't fart when I sit down or get pissed and fall asleep in my dinner"
"Nah, we can leave all that to me dad, I tell you what, let's just see how things go"
Molly wanted to scream, this was getting worse, first he didn't seem to get it that it wasn't him she was ashamed of, and it wasn't her family either, not really, it was just the thought of mixing the two, the thought of him sitting in the front room exchanging points of view on current affairs with Dave was way beyond her imagination. And it was bloody previous and he knew that. Far too soon when they'd only been back together a few days and who knew whether they'd last this time, what would happen if they didn't, if he got pissed off at her again, which was highly possible, because then she'd be back to east Ham with her tail between her legs needing to explain how it had all gone to shit again. No thanks.
-OG-
He pulled up outside his house and turned the engine off, then swivelled to look at her in the sudden silence without saying anything. Their journey home had been conducted in the sort of speechless silence that gets hard to break after a bit and anyway she couldn't think what to say. She wouldn't have been at all surprised if he'd taken her straight back to barracks, instead of which he leaned across and stroked her face with one finger before tucking her hair behind her ear.
It struck warm when he stood back to let her into the house in front of him, although she wasn't sure whether that was the heat that was being given off by the log burner even though its doors were closed or whether it was that the three or four glasses of wine she'd necked had caught up with her. She'd turned down his invitation on the night of his birthday and had been almost proud of herself that she'd done it, well for about five nano-seconds after they'd said their goodnights and he'd gone. But she'd badly needed a hug and if she hadn't been being so bloody stubborn she would have loved him to come and pick her up, well, if it hadn't meant getting up and getting dressed and skulking past the knowing smirks on the faces of the bored lads on guard, but even all of that wouldn't have been as bad as worrying that it sort of looked like she was doing some kind of reverse booty call, and she was too bloody tired and too …. utterly pissed off for that. Then after he'd gone, she'd paid the price for being obstinate. No longer sleepy she'd lain there wide awake for what felt like hours, tossing and turning and trying to find a comfortable spot on a pillow that felt like a fucking sandbag, as well as kicking herself for doing what Nan called cutting off her nose to spite her face. Asking herself when she was ever going to bleeding learn.
And now they were back in his house together standing looking at each other in the little bit of light coming from the glow of the fire, both of them waiting for the other one to make a move, or at least to say something.
"Are you okay, you're not upset are you? You're very quiet"
"Nah, why would I be upset? Well, not with you, I thought you might be, it's me that's fucked things up"
"What are you talking about? You haven't fucked anything up"
He put his hands on her arms and eased the sleeves of her parka off, turning to hang it on the coat hooks by the door while Molly simply stood and let him slide it off her without helping, biting her lip anxiously as she looked up at the carefully controlled expression on his face. At the way he was chewing on his bottom lip and pulling it into his mouth with apparent concentration as her heart hammered as if it was going to jump out of her chest.
"Here"
He took her hand and put it on his chest over his heart so that she could feel the way it was doing the same thing as his eyes locked onto hers, the pupils huge and dark as his hands moved to stroke her arms, and then her back and her sides through the fabric of her striped top which made every bit of her crackle. Her fingers began to tremble as she moved her hand off his heart and fumbled at his shirt buttons before eventually managing to slip her fingers through the gap she'd created and touch him, caressing the hot skin of his chest with her tiny cold hand and enjoying the way his breathing became irregular.
Sudden urgency made him yank her against him and kiss her repeatedly until they were both struggling for breath, when, without saying a word he swung her up in his arms and stumbled up the stairs pulling her down onto the bed and kissing her over and over until they were breathless again. Then it was all about her as he stroked and kissed and nipped until she was whimpering for him not to stop and to hurry up, which made him chuckle as he stood up to strip his own clothes off without taking his eyes off her. He ignored her pleas in favour of kissing a moist trail down her body and then slowed everything down even more and muffled her groans and the way she was begging him by kissing her mouth over and over again. In spite of her increasingly desperate efforts to reach the end of the ride he refused to rush, just went on moving slowly and building her up to the crest of the wave and then slowing her right down again until eventually she clung to him as the wave broke,and she closed her teeth gently on his neck tasting the salt of his skin as he shouted "Christ" and murmured her name against the moist skin of her neck.
"I love you"
She stared at him, wanting desperately, desperately to believe him, but experience told her it was famous for being one of those things blokes say when they'd just had sex and it would be dumb of her to believe it just because she wanted to. She wasn't aware that she'd shaken her head in an unconscious denial.
"Why don't you believe me? I wouldn't lie to you, I love you"
"I'm scared"
-OG-
A/N: Thank you for your feedback, and if you're still following, thank you. I really do rely on your reviews as like most of us who write on here I'm a complete drama queen. Christmas is coming so Molly has to face another nightmare …. Charles and Dave having a nice little chat, not to mention Charles and Belinda, and worst of all … Charles and Nan …
