"I'm a tad worried I may have fucked things up so badly you're never going to trust me again"
Molly hated it when he did that, it was like he just had to turn his bloody x-ray eyes on and he could read her mind and she didn't want him too. His breath was warm and sweet with the wine he'd drunk, although as far as she knew he'd only had one glass, or maybe two at the most so was stone cold bleeding sober which was more than she was. It wasn't that she was drunk exactly, but she'd been nervous about how the evening would go so had necked enough to make her conscious now of the need to be careful what her mouth was saying.
"It's not … it's …. look, you know what I'm like, soon as I've had a drink I talk bollocks"
"Nice try" He chuckled and rolled on top of her "Come on, talk to me, tell me what it is that scares you"
"Nothin', there's nothing at all"
It wasn't that she didn't want to hear him say the things he thought she wanted to hear, but she had this feeling that no matter what he said or how sincere his voice was, or even how much she'd tried to convince herself it was all she needed for things to go back to the way they were, there was still this fear sitting like a cold lump in the bottom of her stomach and no matter what he said they both knew it could happen all over again, just like that and if she was honest, she was still a bit … pissed at him for what had happened. She'd got used to looking out for herself again, well she'd bloody had to, and it had taken a long, long time for her to get used to him not being someone she could rely on, so the last thing she wanted now was to go back to feeling all needy and as if she'd be in bits if she didn't see him for a few days ….. or, as could quite possibly happen, ever again.
"You know I'm all over the bloody shop when I've had a drink"
"It's called in vino veritas"
"Yeah … probably …. if you say so" She smirked and then giggled "I'm sure you're right, whatever it was you just said"
"It means … we're more likely to say what we really mean when we've had a couple of drinks"
"Well not me, I talk an even bigger load of old cobblers, ask anyone, and you're squashing me"
"Sorry"
He touched her nose with his and then moved himself to one side, pulling up the duvet and tucking it over both of them before he propped himself on one elbow to watch her face and try to read her expression.
"You don't …. Okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to ….. but I …."
He shook his head and ran his hand through the curls at the back of his neck as he began to gnaw his bottom lip, and paused to run his finger down her cheek, lifting a stray strand of hair that was stuck to her sweaty forehead and smoothing it down before tucking it behind her ear. For the second time in a few hours he knew she'd avoided telling him the truth but every instinct he had was telling him to give it up, that no matter how much he demanded or nagged or pleaded with her, or told her how much he wanted to know what it was worrying her, she wasn't going to tell him. That there was something not quite right, he was 100% certain, but the Molly who would have cuddled up to him and confided all her doubts and fears and let him wipe them away, comfort her, had gone.
"I promise …. hey, are you listening to me, Dawsey?" She promptly yawned and pretended to stop listening in protest at his use of her nickname, putting her fingers in her ears and then giggling as he pulled them out "I am not going to do anything to hurt you, okay? I'm going to make bloody sure that nothing like that happens again" He leaned over to kiss her on the tip of her nose and then smirked "I'm not going to let you out of my sight"
"Shit, a bleedin' stalker" She giggled and kissed his neck where his Adam's apple was bobbing up and down as he swallowed "Thanks, but I don't need looking after, I'm a big girl now, I can look after meself"
"I know you can ….. I can see that …. But just remind me again, who is Adam exactly?"
"Oh yeah, him, but I'm not going to do that again in a hurry am I? I've done it once 'n I didn't like it much so I'm not gonna get married again …. ever ….."
"Never, doesn't that depend who's asking?"
"No"
"You married Adam"
"Yeah I did, 'n he's put me off for life so no need to be jealous of 'im"
"I'm not jealous"
He smirked as he lied through his teeth knowing that she knew every bit as much as he did that he was lying, but it rankled that she would let …. Adam, who was without a shadow of a doubt the fucktard she'd said he was, meet her family and get close to them but that she was determined to keep him as far away as possible.
"If you say so"
"I do say so, and you know I'm always right"
"If you say so"
-OG-
The air was so freezing cold it felt as if she was standing in the fridge as she looked at the clouds of steam her breath made and buried her face into her scarf and then hated the way it felt all warm and damp on her face. God she wished she'd listened to Charles' lecture about heat loss through your bare head which she knew was true but chose to ignore. She should have worn a woolly hat, but she hated the way that they made her scalp prickle and anyway they made her look like a boiled egg, so she was standing in the Market Square with hundreds of other lunatics and stamping her feet up and down in her best market-stall knock off Uggs, putting her arms under her pits to hug herself cos her bloody parka wasn't warm enough either. She wished more than anything that she'd given the whole bloody thing a miss, even though she'd promised, because with a bit of luck she could have been curled up right now on the sofa in front of the fire with Charles, glass of wine in one hand and his arms round her ….. But instead of that she was standing in the middle of a big crowd holding on to some fake candle thing with a light bulb on top instead of a flame, with the others, including Adam, but without Lisa who was going to be late because she'd been going for after-work drinks with work-mates. Everyone was speculating whether or not it was going to snow as they waited for the carol singing to start round a huge tree strung with hundreds and hundreds of twinkling lights and Molly was probably the only one there who didn't actually give a flying fuck whether it was going to snow or not, she had other things to worry about. She cared even less about what was holding up the start of the concert, in fact she was quite happy for it to be even later getting going because Lisa wasn't the only one who was late, he was as well. She'd been anxiously looking round and scanning the crowd for the familiar tall figure with his dark curly hair for the last half hour or more and was now getting increasingly afraid that he was going to make a tit of her by standing her up. He'd said he'd make his own way and meet her there because of some bloody meeting or something he had to go to, a meeting which might well have run over, she knew that, but he'd promised he wouldn't allow it happen.
She'd already got everyone's backs up by refusing to move from their spot by the coffee stall because that was where she'd told him she'd be waiting but which was definitely the most crowded bloody bit of all and had told the others that they could move if they wanted but she wasn't going to as she checked her phone for the nine billionth time, but still no messages.
"Hello dipshits, sorry I'm a bit late" Lisa looked around "Haven't they started yet? I couldn't half do with a coffee …. and a wee"
"Obviously they 'aven't started, have they? Can you hear anyone singing?"
"What's up with you? So" Lisa looked around "Where is he then?"
"He'll be here in a minute and just behave will you? You promised you wouldn't start all that shit again, remember?"
"Sorry"
Lisa was blinking and slurring her words slightly and had the distinct aroma of gin and fags about her so that anyone who knew her well, as Molly did, would know that she only smoked when she was rat-arsed so she'd obviously enjoyed her after-work drinking session before she'd turned up with strings of tinsel round her neck like a scarf and a piece of plastic mistletoe stuck behind one ear. She smiled her best pissed 'butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' smile at Adam who was totally oblivious to her arrival as he stood next to Molly and smirked. He was continually making a production out of pushing his sleeve up his arm to check the time on his watch, something she could see quite clearly out of the corner of her eye so that she vowed to hit Charles, no, to bloody well cripple him, when he did show up. She couldn't say anything about it to Adam, he could have quite easily been checking on how late the carol singers were in getting going, but somehow she didn't think so.
"I'm going to have to buy you some stilts"
The familiar public school accent was accompanied by a hand lifting her hair off the back of her neck and a kiss behind her ear as she snapped her head round, relief pouring from every pore. She'd forgotten when she'd been looking for his head in the crowd that he'd be following his own advice and wearing a beanie hat so that all that looking for dark curly hair had been a total waste of effort.
"You're bleeding late, where you been?" She heard the whining note in her voice with a degree of horror, she hadn't meant to sound like some whinging wife one step away from a rolling pin "Thought you'd stood me up for a minute" She was now doing her best to sound as though she was joking.
He turned her round to face him and put his index finger under her chin, tilting her face up to look into her eyes as he smirked and shook his head.
"Now why on earth would I do that? There are two bloody coffee stalls, Molly, so I've been looking for you all over and believe me, it's un-fucking-believable how hard it is to see someone who's as titchy as you in a crowd like this"
"Sorry, think I shrunk in the wash"
"Nope, you're perfect ….. just bloody small"
He'd pulled his beanie hat off his head and pulled it onto hers, pulling it down over her ears; she resisted the temptation to pull it off because of how lovely and warm it felt with the heat from his head.
"And I thought I told you to wear a hat, I told you you'd be cold and you are, aren't you?"
"Bossy prick" She giggled "'n it's alright for you, innit, you look fuckin' gorgeous in it, I look like a boiled egg"
"A very beautiful boiled egg, I can …"
A lone unaccompanied voice sang the first few lines of "Once in Royal David's City" so that it rang out across the market square signalling the beginning of the carol service and interrupting whatever he'd been about to say with such a huge smirk on his face. It sounded beautiful as it halted all the general hub-bub of chatter and laughter as people stopped talking to each other and started to listen and Charles turned her round, putting his arms round her and nestling her back against him so that his body heat was warming her. He rested his chin on top of her head as they listened and wrapped his gloved hands round hers so that they were both holding her pretend candle and suddenly there was nothing else mattered, she was unbelievably happy.
"Why aren't you singing? Here …"
She'd been listening to him sing and had secretly been dead impressed that he knew all the words to all the verses, she already knew that he had a shit-hot voice of course, but he seemed to have assumed that she wasn't singing because she didn't know the words so he'd let go of her hands to fish the printed song sheet he'd been given out of his pocket and handed it to her. They'd got to the bit where everyone was encouraged to join in with "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" and normally Molly would have been belting it out with everyone else in the singalong, but she was keeping her mouth firmly shut and hoping that he had an attack of amnesia so he'd have forgotten how painfully bad her singing voice was.
"Have you heard her sing?"
If looks could kill Adam would now have curled up and died in agony on the floor. He was obviously eavesdropping on their conversation as he laughed and then snorted out his derision "Take my word for I, it's a wonderfully bloody hideous experience, once you've heard Molly sing you won't forget it in a hurry"
"She sang to me once" Charles chuckled as Molly thought for one horrible toe-curlingly awful moment he was going to agree with Adam "We were on a stage in front of a whole group of adoring squaddies and we all thought she was bloody wonderful, especially me, so yup you could say that I've heard her sing" His voice was full of nostalgia as he dropped a kiss on the top of her head and did his best to disguise the surge of anger that had bubbled up and made him shoot Adam 'a die on the spot, you bastard' look "Do you remember?"
"Yeah course I do, and I am 'ere you two, so don't talk about me like I'm not" She lifted her chin and tried to look up at his face even though he was still holding her with her back towards him "Thought it might be that you'd forgotten, it was a bleeding long time ago now wasn't it?"
"How could I forget? And it feels like yesterday to me"
Lisa was obviously thoroughly bored and restless with the focus of the attention now that the concert had come to an end and the charity collection was under way and she still hadn't had a wee. On top of that Adam still hadn't taken very much notice of her, in fact none at all. Instead he seemed to be far more interested in Molly and her bloke, so that she grabbed hold of Adam's arm and shouted "Come on everyone, pub?"
"Yeah course, but no need to yell, we're not bleeding deaf"
-OG-
The pub was very warm and was packed to the rafters with people gently steaming in the heat from the log fire and gradually removing layers of scarves and hats and coats and extra woollies as the bar staff rushed about as if they were on speed as they tried to serve all the people who were pushing and shoving and shouting and waving ten pound notes in the air desperate to get served first. The noise level was manic as the Christmas spirit engendered by the concert spilled over into the bar, although anyone would be forgiven for thinking that they were the victims of some prolonged period of abstinence the rate at which drinks were disappearing down throats.
Molly and Lisa had made straight for the Ladies, anticipating a long queue as most of the concert goers rushed for a pee after standing out in the cold for so long and Lisa for one was now halfway to desperate.
"Come on Lees get a fucking move on"
Molly was very anxious about leaving Charles with Adam in the bar, she was no longer sure what Adam would think was funny especially if she wasn't there. She was actually disappointed in the way he was behaving, she'd told Charles that he was okay, because she'd never have thought he'd be such an arsehole and was now beginning to wonder if she should meet up with him on her own to 'talk' and find out why he was being such a knob, although the way she felt right now he'd end up needing plastic surgery.
"Look Molls, sorry about the way I've been, you know, about him, Charles, I can see he's a nice bloke, bloody tasty one 'n all, and I can see you're as happy as fuck, so sorry"
"S'okay, and he is and I am" Molly giggled even though she wanted to shove Lisa out of the door and back into the bar, get her to hurry up with washing her hands "So, no progress yet with fuckface in there?"
"Don't call him that, although he is being a bit ….. but no, think he's more interested in you still"
"Nah he's not, honest Lees he's not, never has been, it's some sort of weird blokey thing going on with him, I could bleedin' slap him, probably will if he opens his trap again"
"You taking Charlie boy home for Christmas?"
"Might, if he don't go home to Bath to see his kiddie, but I dunno, Lees, with my lot? What do you think chances are of them behaving theirselves?"
"Slim to fuck-all, I'd say
"Yeah, me 'n all" She chewed at her bottom lip "Haven't said anything yet, not to him or me mum, well we're not actually speaking, but trouble is if I do tell her about him 'n then he don't come for some reason like he's gone to Bath or something, they're gonna think he's a right dick, and if I say nothing they're gonna go on and on at me about fuckface in there"
"Can't you go to Bath with him? Then you wouldn't have to go home"
"Nah, done that once, not gonna do that again, and s'pose I don't 'ave to go to me mum's, I could always fake me own death instead"
"Do you want me to, you know, bring it up, ask what everyone's doing at Christmas? See if you can find out if he's thinking of going to go to Bath, I can do it tactfully ….."
"Nah ….. I fuckin' don't, I'll ask him meself when I'm ready"
"You sure? Bugger, I was thinking I could offer to keep Adam company"
"Good idea, but leave me and Charles out of it" She gave Lisa her best death stare "Don't forget I'm a trained killer so you just keep your bloody gob shut"
-OG-
"You were a long time, everything okay?" He settled her more comfortably on his lap, the pub was jam packed so that seats were at a premium "I was beginning to think you'd done a runner out of the window"
"What and leave you here on your own with him?" She'd nodded her head in Adam's direction "Nah, wouldn't do that would I? Long queue" Molly took a deep breath "I've been thinking, and don't say that sounds dangerous, just remember I'm sitting on your lap, been thinking about Christmas, 'ave you decided what you're doing yet? I mean, don't matter if you aven't, but I wondered if you were, you know, going to Bath to be with Sam, or what?"
"Sam and Rebecca are going skiing, what are you doing? And whatever it is can I do it with you?" He smirked "I thought we could stay in bed for four days"
"Sounds good, nice and Christmassy" Molly giggled "But I've gotta go home for Christmas dinner at least, so I was sort of wondering if you'd like to come with me"
"I'd love to and I promise I'll behave, I won't grope you in front of your mum"
"No point in taking you then is there?"
-OG-
A/N: Thank you for your lovely on-going support and I am so glad that there are still some lovely people enjoying my parallel universe and saying nice things – over the last two years I seem to have spent almost as much time in it as in the real world, well what passes for the real world chez nous. I, like all the other authors on this site, rely totally on your reviews to keep me going and I know it can be difficult sometimes to think of what to say, but just a couple of words is usually enough to make me say 'Yay', well as long as they're not horrible words, of course.
Christmas day in east Ham … just around the corner ….
