Title: Light of My Life
Author: kazeko
Series: Inuyasha
Rating: M-15 or so
Archive: Sesshoumaru/Kagome
Characters: Sesshoumaru/Kagome, Inuyasha/Koyama, Sango/Miroku
Summary: A powerful prophecy brings mortal enemies together, but prejudice may well tear them apart and spell the end of all inuyoukai.
Disclaimer: No ownership.


Chapter 5: To Control a Pack
Kagome hummed softly as she nursed the unnamed baby, Koyama beside her with the boys. In order to give the nursing women some privacy and to further protect the pups, the hut had been divided to create a new room just for them, behind a pair of screens and guarded by the taiyoukai and his hanyou brother. Sesshoumaru was still too weak to travel, the wound on his chest having gained a slight infection, so they were still living in the village.

Kagome had felt herself changing slightly over the past few days with the increased exposure to Koyama, Sesshoumaru, and the pups. She wondered if continued exposure to so many powerful demons was affecting her miko powers, but she didn't feel any less pure, less powerful. She felt like new channels of strength were opening inside her, giving her access to powers she had not had before. Staring down at the female in her arms, she wondered if the baby had anything to do with it.

A slight whining outside the room caught Kagome's attention, and she stretched her aura out somewhat to catch the visitor's identity. "You can come in, Shippo."

The kitsune kit entered quickly, ears twitching back as he encountered the scent and sounds of a litter of inu pups. "I brought you some sweets from Kaede. She said that you'd like them and that if you needed anything to help you nurse she could provide it."

"Thank you, Shippo," she smiled, taking the bundle with her free hand. "I have been having a strange craving for meat lately, though. I think it's because of her."

"I can get you meat! Are you hungry now?" Kagome nodded, slightly ashamed that the food Miroku and Sango had given her was not enough to fill her, and the tiny kit grinned as he dashed outside to find her something. She looked over at Koyama, smiling at the other female who was caring for Sesshoumaru's pups. While nursing, the youkai stayed in her inu form, but she returned to her human-like form to talk to Kagome.

"Why am I craving more meat? It's not like I'm the one who gave birth."

"It's different with youkai, Kagome. Our pups have power from the day they're born, so her power is encouraging you to eat food that is beneficial to her. She wants the protein in the meat so she is encouraging you to eat it. A youkai mother or nursing female is more closely attuned to the pups' needs, so we never notice their meddling as separate from our own needs."

"Oh." Kagome nuzzled the baby, who now spent most of her time in humanoid form, and the pup whimpered happily. The pups Koyama nursed had changed into humanoid form once, but had returned to their inu form and continued to nurse that way. "Do all youkai babies stay in their normal form so long?"

"For the most part, yes. Among litters, the first baby to change into humanoid form is the leader of the litter, and all of the siblings briefly change afterwards to establish peck order. In general, that order sticks. Normally, all pups return to their inu form afterward until their eyes open and their powers develop somewhat, so that female staying in her human form is very strange. The only thing I can guess is that she wants you to nurse her and you are not set up to nurse a pup. Therefore she keeps the form you can deal with."

"When will she open her eyes?"

"Usually three weeks. Within four or five days it should happen. Then they will receive their names and Lord Sesshoumaru may choose to take them to his palace."

"But they won't be weaned until three weeks later. You're part of his pack, Koyama, so you will go with him, but I am not."

"Aren't you?" Koyama's green eyes locked with Kagome's blue ones, and she raised a delicate eyebrow. "Your inu hanyou submitted to Sesshoumaru, joining his pack at least until the pups are weaned. Are you a member of his pack, or do you rule a pack of your own? Do you follow him or does he follow you?"

"Well, I think I follow him on the shard hunt . . ."

"But who determines time to rest and time to eat? Who controls whom?"

"With those beads, I guess I control him. But he hunts for us!"

Koyama waved her hand. "You bring exotic foods and things to your pack. He hunts because it is not always the Alpha's place to hunt. His job is to provide for his Alpha and his pack when they are hungry, especially if other pack members are weaker or unable to hunt. You have a kit, do you not? Only the Alpha is allowed to have children, and they adopt all pups that lesser females have."

Kagome stared at the Alpha pup in her arms, smiling at Koyama's words. "I suppose that I am Inuyasha's Alpha, then, but it's not like his inu instincts are strong enough to acknowledge me as such. In any case, I imagine that I will follow Lord Sesshoumaru until she is weaned and the two of you can take care of them all. He should finish healing in a few days and be back up to full strength."

"He will probably hunt down the coyote pack and demand retribution for the death of his mate. Since inuyoukai rarely mark a Mate until their first litter of pups is weaned, he can claim that he had Chosen her, strengthening his demands."

"What will he want from them? He's already killed all of the attackers."

"He will demand a servant perhaps, or that they find new pups to join his pack, or that they vacate some piece of land. Who knows? He is Alpha, he will do what is best for his pack." Koyama began to brush her long red hair, humming softly to herself.

"What is best for my pack?"

"Hmm?"

"If, as you say, Inuyasha has accepted a temporary place in Sesshoumaru's pack, then I must decide if we can follow Sesshoumaru to his palace until these pups are strong enough for us to leave. Will Inuyasha stay with his brother?"

"After knowing you for these past weeks and understanding the quest that you have paused to help these pups, I doubt it. As soon as the pups are safe, I am sure that the hanyou will rejoin you." Koyama grinned and twitched her tail, rubbing the nearest pup. "I will miss him, though. He is a nice change from the inuyoukai I have lived with my whole life. He is like a young pup, still learning what it means to be in a pack and where his place in it is."

Kagome grinned and reached for Koyama's hand. "And will you be the one to teach him the ways of the inuyoukai?"

Koyama blushed, her face the color of her hair, tail wrapping around her leg as Kagome chuckled at her discomfort. "I am fond of him, Kagome," she replied at last, lowering her eyes. "But he is your male to command and I am not of high enough rank to request his affections. At the least, he is Beta, and I am technically still Omega."

"I don't think that he sees you as his brother's Omega," Kagome whispered. "If you want to pursue something with Inuyasha, who is a dear friend of mine, if you can make him happy, then you have my blessing, Koyama. You're not Omega in Sesshoumaru's pack, at least he doesn't treat you as such, and even Inuyasha's weak instincts do not mark you as such."

Koyama smiled, her green eyes lighting as her tail began to wag. "Thank you, Kagome. I hope that you can find a male to be your Alpha someday."


Sesshoumaru sat in a tree outside the hut, golden eyes watching as the two females cooked the evening meal, the pups warm in a basket nearby, even the female in her inu form. It bothered Sesshoumaru somewhat that she chose to remain in her human-like form in order to nurse from the human, but her power was already showing at such a young age, so he never complained. He was almost fully healed, his injuries having taken longer than they should to vanish, but he was almost grateful for the human's pack and their help. The houshi and kitsune were sitting near the pups, guarding them, though the kit seemed more interested in petting their silky fur than watching for danger. No matter. The kit would not harm the babies.

Shippo squealed as the pups began to squirm, the little female nosing him a whining. Sesshoumaru jumped down from his tree and knelt near the basket, Inuyasha and the three females joining him. For a brief moment, nothing seemed to happen, then the little female squeaked and opened her tiny eyes. Blue eyes. Her eyes were such a pale blue that they almost seemed white, and they locked on Kagome first, the crescent moon on her forehead glowing as she changed into her human form and looked at her father.

She had grown from a baby to a toddler, her tiny arms reaching for the man that her nose told her was Father. As Sesshoumaru lifted her with his single arm, her brothers also began to squeak, open their eyes, and change. Now that their eyes were open, they would only return to their inu form to nurse or when they scented danger. Sesshoumaru smiled at his daughter, possibly the first real smile he had ever shown in his life, as the others began to pick up the boys and marvel over their little hands and their now-thick hair and their pointed ears and bright eyes. Even Kirara jumped down from the tajiya's shoulder to examine the babies, Shippo carefully holding the smallest boy. Inuyasha stared at the boy in his arms, feeling a longing for pups of his own, Miroku staring at his cursed hand before clenching it into a fist. Sango noted the action and realized what he was thinking, placing a boy in his arm and kissing his cheek.

"Soon, Miroku, we will defeat Naraku and your curse will be gone. Then we can have a family and children of our own."

"I would like that very much, Sango," Miroku whispered, wrapping his free arm around the woman's waist.

Watching the interaction, Sesshoumaru looked at his pup and wondered if this would be his only litter. He had planned on gaining a great deal more power before mating for an heir, but it seemed that the Spirit of the Pack had other plans for him. "Will you be my only daughter?" His whispered voice was so quiet that even Inuyasha did not hear him, but his daughter twitched her ears, eyes sad. She reached for his cheek with one clawed hand and shook her head. Then she smiled, tiny pointed teeth breaking through her gums, and Sesshoumaru shook his head. Surely this pup did not understand him.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?"

The inuyoukai looked over at the miko and raised one eyebrow, emotionless mask in place once more. "Yes?" Kagome was the only one not holding one of the six pups, having returned to the abandoned meal before it could burn.

"Supper's ready. Do you want to start the pups on solid food yet?"

"They have only tiny teeth as of yet. They cannot tear through meat."

"But this stewed venison is much softer. I'm sure they could try a little piece, get the taste for solid food before their teeth grow in too much for us to nurse them anymore."

The taiyoukai inclined his head. "I suppose that will be acceptable." He waited until Kagome had dished out food to everyone except Sesshoumaru and Koyama, then he handed the female pup to the miko. "Koyama and I will hunt for us and for something for you to eat tomorrow morning before we leave. You are welcome to feed them whatever they will eat. As inuyoukai, they will eventually consume a diet mostly of meat but certain plants are much beloved by our kind and they must learn to eat those, too. Come, Koyama." Sesshoumaru, at last healed enough to hunt, placed his daughter in Kagome's lap and walked away, tail held out behind him and curled to reach his head. Koyama held her tail lower, but she did not tuck it between her legs as she had when she was Omega of the Fire Stripe Pack. Inuyasha watched them go, his eyes on Koyama as he whined softly. He did not want to be left behind while the others hunted.

Sesshoumaru looked over his shoulder, pretending that he had not heard the sound. "Inuyasha, Koyama is still a weak hunter and needs practice, especially after three weeks of nursing pups. I must take time tonight to train her. You must remain behind to protect the pups and the pack, since I know already your hunting prowess." Inuyasha's ears stood up as he puffed out his chest. Sensing his acceptance, the lord vanished into the trees, the red-headed female just behind him.

The meal was a very loud affair, everyone trying to get the pups to eat small pieces of stewed meat and soft potatoes and carrots. It was the wrong season for sweet fruit, but Shippo still managed to find some fall berries and coax the pups to try them. In the end, everyone was tired, but Sesshoumaru's children had managed to eat a little solid food. Kagome placed pieces of the soft bread Kaede had taught her to make in each clenching fist, letting the children mouth that while she ate her own supper. Her appetite had changed somewhat in the last few weeks, and she had eaten a little of the stew but craved much rarer meat. After Sesshoumaru and Koyama returned, the red-head saved Kagome a few chunks of the meat from her rabbit, letting her spit and slightly braze the offering. When the outside of the chunks were dark but the center still rare, Kagome took her skewers and retreated into the trees. She was still amazed that her appetite had changed just from nursing one youkai baby, but she ate her fill of the rare meat, hoping that her tastes returned to normal when Sesshoumaru and his pups left.

She really didn't want them to leave. Aside from adoring the pups, she had come to understand Sesshoumaru in the past weeks, respecting the taiyoukai and feeling much safer knowing that he was guarding the hut at night. Koyama was fast becoming a friend, and even Sango and Miroku had come to appreciate their new alliance. Shippo watched the pups like an older brother, waiting for them to grow up enough to play with him, and Inuyasha was more relaxed in the presence of his brother and the young female who flirted with him on a daily basis. What would Inuyasha do when it was time to resume their hunt for the shards? Would he choose his half-brother, the enticing female who would follow Sesshoumaru, and the security of a strong pack over his friends and the hunt for the shikon no tama? She did not know. She did not want to make him choose, but she did not know how to save him that dilemma. He was her friend, but he was also an inu hanyou, and he had wanted to be part of a youkai pack for his entire life.

"Inuyasha," she whispered, staring up at the moon, "who will you choose?"