"All that holy choir shit and then the bloody Queen, and now we gotta put up with HER?" Bella made her feelings plain with a loud snort of disgust.
"Why is she still 'anging about" Molly looked around at the others, waiting for someone to say something, looking at everyone in general and no-one in particular, then pulled a face of enquiry at Dave "Thought Mum was gonna bin 'er"
"Still 'ere, like a fart in a car"
The girls began to laugh as much at the disgust in his voice as at what he'd said, so that Charles began to laugh with them even though he hadn't got a clue who or what the hell they were talking about. Molly and Bella were clutching at each other and howling with laughter which made it incredibly infectious, another huge chunk of Molly and her world that he knew nothing about at all.
"Who's Shazza?"
"Oh you're gonna love her" Her face was alight with laughter as she turned to look at him, doing her best to control the giggles enough so she could speak "Not that she's gonna like you very much, she hates men almost as much as she hates army, finks she's fucking wonderful cos she's one of them 'stop the war' mob, said she was dead sorry for me having to go to Afghan"
"Be fair Molls, you weren't exactly her biggest fan, were you?" Bella was now laughing so hard that she clutched herself between her legs shrieking 'Oh shit, stop making me laugh I'm gonna wet meself"
"Well …. stupid cow got right up me bloody nose didn't she? What did she know about any of it? nothin' at all, that's what"
"Stop it, pair of you, she's your mum's friend"
"Bloody hell you've changed your tune, last I remember you was gonna roll her in a carpet and lob 'er on the M25"
"Yeah well" Nan shot a concerned glance at the bemused expression on Charles' face, he was still none the wiser as to who this Shazza actually was "Live and let live is what I always say"
"Since when? Nah … you bloody don't … 'n I really thought Mum might have got shot of her by now, not gone round asking her to come and ruin Christmas ….. actually, bit surprised she eats Christmas dinner, would of thought she'd of lived off of that bloody crappy onion soup of 'ers" Molly went off into a fresh peel of laughter which Bella immediately joined in "Maybe that's what makes her fart Dad"
"You never even tasted 'er soup" Nan tutted loudly and shook her head at them, doing her level best to look as if she disapproved.
"I know, what's that got do with it? You know it's an iceberg even if you can only see the tip of it" Molly sneaked a quick glance at Charles biting her lip as she looked to see if he remembered and whether he was laughing at the memory, and then shouted at Belinda as Bella and Nan chorused that they didn't understand what bleedin' icebergs had got to do with anything which made Charles laugh "MUM, what you ask 'er for"
"She said she might be on 'er own Molls, and I didn't like to think of that and your dad agreed with me, didn't you Dave? So you lot can just bloody put up with it" Belinda appeared in the doorway, oven gloves dangling from her hand "She means well"
"Yeah, course she does" Molly and Bella exchanged eyebrow raised and exaggeratedly open mouthed looks of complete astonishment as Bella made a puking gesture of putting her fingers down her throat, Nan couldn't have sounded less sincere if she'd practised in front of the mirror for a week, while Dave looked at Belinda, a look of complete bewilderment pasted all over his face "I don't remember that, you sure?"
"Stop it you …. them lot are bad enough" Belinda waved her hand towards her daughters and her mother "Get over it, you lot, 'n if she comes I want you all to be nice to her. I think we'll set the table as if she's coming 'n then if she don't we can move the stuff off … okay?" Belinda looked round as she asked the question, but with such a stern look and firm tone in her voice that it was obviously more of an order which Charles admired, he thought it wouldn't have been out of place on a parade ground "So just get on with it and stop bleedin' showing us up"
"MUM" Molly got up and put her arm round her shoulders hugging her "Sorry, sorry we'll be nice won't we Bels? Promise …." She bit her lip to make sure she didn't start laughing again "Can't answer for 'er of course" She nodded her head to indicate Nan, then pressed her lips together struggling not to come apart and start laughing again "And long as I don't have to sit next to her ….. or across the table from 'er neither" Charles could hear as the giggle started to bubble up in her voice "I think Bels should, her punishment for last night, serve her bloody right"
"No thanks not me 'n you can't make me, I think it should be Charles, meself, he's only one hasn't met her yet inne?"
"Don't be bloody mean just cos he's …."
"Look" Belinda interrupted whatever Molly had been going to say to Bella, she was rapidly running out of patience "Just lay the bloody table you two and stop behaving like …. what will Charles think of us?"
"Mum, he's not gonna think anything … are you?" Molly nudged him with her elbow as he grinned and shook his head "He knows what I'm like, Mum, he's used to me"
"But I thought …" Belinda shook her head "Nah, don't matter, just lay that table and don't forget to lay a place for her, for Shazza, yer dad can sit next to her"
"Me? … Why me? … Can't stand the bloody woman, can I?"
"For being a twat" Belinda turned on her heel "Oh just stop it all of you, be nice"
There was a deafening silence as she flounced out of the room, metaphorically slamming the door behind her, which she obviously would have done if there'd been one instead of just a frame, so that the family all grimaced and exchanged guilty looks, no-one had set out to upset her. The guilty remorse proved to be a bit short-lived as Nan spoke very softly and as if she was thinking aloud, which set them off again.
"Never mind, bit of luck her broomstick won't start"
-OG-
"I really do need to pee, so unless you want to stand there and keep me company …..?"
"Oh sorry, I'll for you wait outside"
Charles needing the loo had enabled her to drag him away from her dad and the others for a private chat, it had given her a chance to get him in the bathroom for a progress report on how he was doing, whether he was okay or whether he wanted to go home yet. It all still felt like a terrible mistake to her, they'd been there for less than an hour and it felt like a bloody week so god knows how it felt to him. It had been good to have a laugh with Bella, been a bit like old times, even if it had been about that bloody woman and her camper van, and having hugs with the little ones as well as being with Nan and mum had all been lovely, she hadn't realised how much she'd missed them, but her dad still hadn't addressed a single word to Charles and that was really bleeding worrying her. The way he was obviously stewing about something, most probably her and Adam, was making her dead bothered about what was going to happen when he started on the booze.
"Hey, beautiful, stop worrying, come on everything's fine"
She'd heard the flush and had tried hard to pin her "nothing's wrong" smile to her face but was a bit late achieving it as Charles carefully pulled some stray strands of her hair away from her mouth where they'd stuck to the shiny lip gloss stuff she'd just renewed. He still couldn't get used to seeing her wearing make-up, to him she looked just as beautiful without as he kissed her on the tip of her nose before he rested his forehead against hers and spoke softly, his voice full of affection wanting very badly to wipe the worried frown from her face.
"Let's go and set the table for your mum, make sure that no-one forgets to set a place for Shazza" He laughed again "She can't be that bad"
"Yeah she bloody can"
"Lovely, can't wait to meet her"
The horrified expression that greeted all his offers of help said it all about how Belinda was feeling without the need for her to use words, but she insisted that it was really, really kind of him and she really appreciated it but that he and Molly should go back in the front room and that she'd manage, that she had it all under control but thanks very much for the offer anyway, the subtext of which he read as 'fuck off'. Dave loudly declared that it was like the bleeding Gobi desert in the house and more than time for bottles to get open and what did everyone want, there was beer or wine or there was some gin, if Marge hadn't already drunk it all, bloody old lush that she was. Molly immediately checked the time on her watch before exchanging concerned looks with her mother who merely shrugged as Nan started to argue with Dave about who it was had the drink problem in the family.
Molly did a fairly good job of looking innocent as she pretended that she hadn't done anything of the sort when her father shouted for her to take that look off of her face, that yeah it was a bit early but it was bloody Christmas for god's sake and what was wrong with having a drink at Christmas, so that Charles put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it in silent reassurance. He could almost taste the way the atmosphere in the kitchen had changed with the mention of booze and could feel the tension in her which reminded him forcibly of all the stories she'd told him long ago about her dad and what he was like when he'd had a drink. Dave offered him a beer which was welcome and which he accepted with a polite nod and smile as Belinda went back to hustling and bustling, picking things up and putting them down and dodging round them where they were apparently standing in her way before tutting loudly with a worried frown on her face. She was apparently unhappy about whether or not everything was going to be cooked enough and not overcooked and that their table wasn't big enough for putting stuff in serving dishes when there were so many of them to sit down and that there was no starters because of the kids not eating that sort of stuff, taking frequent gulps at her glass of gin wasn't doing much to help her either, except for adding significantly to the flush on her face.
She kept doing this worried little shake of her head and saying that dinner was just about ready and she was going to have to serve it straight onto the plates but she didn't know whether to get on and do it because she still didn't know what was happening with Shazza cos she could only get her voice mail when she rang and now she was worried that the other woman was alright. Molly tried very hard to hide how annoyed she was, there was nothing funny about any of it anymore. It was really nice of her mum to have even asked her, seeing as how, and the least she could of done was phone and let her know whether she was going to pitch up to eat that vegetarian shit she'd got for her, no-one else was going to eat it that was for sure.
To say she was annoyed was an understatement, she was bloody furious and doing her best not to let it show but her glass of wine seemed to have emptied itself in record time which didn't help as she held it out to Dave for a re-fill even though she'd sort of planned on pacing herself. The second glass had the effect of making her want to phone whatsit herself and leave an extremely shitty message about manners, even though far as the family were concerned no news of her was bloody good news.
"Mum, you dish up and Charles and I will take the plates through and someone needs to get the little bleeders up to the table, Bella can do that"
"Bossy cow, why me?"
"No it's alright Molls, Bella can help carry the plates through, yer Dad can get the kids up to the table 'n Charles can go and sit down, he's a guest"
"Mum, Bels' has got a 'angover so she'll most likely drop 'em 'n Charles don't mind, do you?"
"No, of course not, come on Belinda I'd like to help"
"Well, if you're sure, thank you, oh think that's 'er now, that's Shazza now"
"Oh good" Nan's tone couldn't be mistaken for anything other than heavily sarcastic "Thought she was gonna phone first, give us some warning"
Nan picked up her glass and the bottle of gin and marched out of the kitchen, she had absolutely no intention of saying 'Hello' or 'Merry Christmas' or even 'Happy Holidays' or whatever was the right thing. The others followed, none of them in the least bit interested in staying to hear what had made her late, except perhaps for Charles, whose curiosity was now somewhere approaching fever pitch.
"Nothing for it, we'll have to get our Charles 'ere to find us a 'itman"
"What?" Molly had no idea what Nan was on about, she suspected the gin "How much of that 'ave you had Nan? Why the fu… why would Charles know how find a hitmen"
"Well, you know, what with him being summat special in the army 'n all he's bound to know where to find a good 'un"
Molly looked at her, completely bewildered "What do you mean some'ing special?"
She could see why Nan would want to hire one, she thought it was quite a good idea herself, but not why she would think Charles would know where to find one just because he was in the army. There was an equally puzzled look on his face as he raised his eyebrows and gave a small shake of his head, then turned to Nan and pinned on a contrite grin.
"I'm sorry Marge but I'm afraid I don't know any, I am in the army, but I'm an … officer ….. not in Special Forces or SAS or anything"
"What, you're in the bloody army?" Dave turned to look at Molly "Does your mother know? Did you know?" He looked across at Nan who shrugged, she'd only known for the last hour but wasn't about to admit that to Dave "Cos no-one's said anything to me" He turned back to Molly "Dunno, don't get it, why the bloody army? First of all there's you, and now you're with him"
He sounded completely mystified and faintly horrified, as if he'd just been told that Charles had been locked up for some desperately serious crime, almost as though his name was on a register somewhere …
"DAD" Molly paused "For fuck sake, it's not a big deal, yeah Charles is in the army, so what? He's been a friend of mine for …. we've known each other for … well, for a long time now, ever since the first time I went to Afghan … he was me boss"
"Your Boss? Charles 'ere is your boss? Molls?" He shook his head "…"Is that what was wrong with young Adam, was it that he wasn't in the bloody army?" Dave shook his head "Can see why he never stood a chance now, not if you've got with your Boss"
"Don't be a twat, Dad, course he's not me boss anymore …. and he hasn't got anything to do with ….. well, him and me has got nothing to do with what happened with me and Adam" She was bending the truth but the truth would be incredibly difficult to explain and she would need to help her mum get the dinner on the table any second, well they both would, and anyway she didn't know where to start and didn't consider it was any of his business anyhow "I mean I know that you like Adam, Dad, and that's fine, I do too, but Adam and me …. well, we was never gonna work were we?"
"Why not? Well course not if you was carrying on with Charles 'ere at the same time"
"It wasn't like that at all Mr Dawes …" Charles had heard enough and at the risk of upsetting things he leaned forward to speak to Dave "Molly and I …. yes, we were together for a short time after we got back from Afghan but not while I was her boss and definitely not when she met Adam, things between us had gone ….. wrong …. before she got married, before she even knew him, and we'd lost touch, we only got together again a few weeks ago when Molly and Adam were already getting divorced" He put his hand on her knee and spoke in a quiet aside "It's okay Dawsey, you don't need to go into battle with your dad to defend us, to defend me"
"I know that, but it's not fair, Adam and me going to shit weren't your fault, it had nothin' to do with you, it weren't like that, Dad, you've got it all wrong"
"Yeah course he 'as, that's the thing about yer Dad innit? He's really good at getting it wrong. Just leave 'er alone Dave, leave them alone, what's gone on with her and Adam is none of our bloody business is it? And whether you like Adam or not, she's right you know, she can't stay with him just to please you and anyone with half a brain could see she don't love 'im, not the way she should. Now, what's done's done, so let's go and get the food on the table while it's still hot, don't s'pose whatsits in there will put herself out to help" Nan got to her feet "Charles 'ere hasn't had the pleasure yet has he? And you can stop your sniggering lady" She waved her finger at Bella as she left the room "He knows what I mean"
"I love your Nan, she's fucking brilliant"
"I know"
-OG-
Charles was surprised to find that Shazza was actually small, almost as tiny as Molly, but unlike Molly, she was very plain with the sort of passive aggressive manner that a lot of women he'd worked with in the army adopted, especially those who lacked in confidence but made up for it by being bloody difficult to get along with.
A deeply unbecoming flush of scarlet self-consciousness crept up her neck and into her face as Molly did the honours and introduced him so that he could see she was thoroughly uncomfortable when he looked at her and smiled and said 'Hello, nice to meet you'. He was also painfully aware of Molly standing behind him doing her absolute best not to snigger her amusement at the look that appeared on Shazza's face.
"She fancies you, play your bloody cards right 'n you could be in there, you'd better sit next to 'er after all" She'd grabbed hold of his arm and whispered with a great deal of glee as they ferried plates of food through from the kitchen "Nan was sure she batted for the other team, but I think she's got that wrong"
"Heaven forbid …. and bloody stop laughing it's not funny"
-OG-
A/N: Was thinking of shortening this (the longest Christmas Day in the history of FF) but decided to keep away from the delete and keep it as it is, the next chapter will start with lunch ….
I hope everyone in the real world had a lovely Christmas, those two days seem to fly by for some reason and it's hard to believe all that preparation and then it's gone … until we start again next weekend of course …. and the credit card bills start to drop through the letterbox – eeeek ! Update in a couple of days- hope you enjoyed this, let me know if you want me to speed up the rest of the day.
