Harley didn't know what she possibly could have done wrong this time. The Joker had yanked her from their bed in the middle of the night, bound her hands and thrown her in the trunk of the Jokermobile. He'd been driving for hours and Harley had no clue where he was taking her. The Clown Prince hadn't said anything other than "Shut up!" since dragging Harley out of bed. Harley replays the events of the last few days in her head, trying to figure out what she'd done that would warrant such an extreme reaction from her Puddin. A few more hours pass with Harley in the trunk sweating over whatever was on the other side of this journey. At last the car screeches to a stop and Harley hears the Joker get out.
"Lenny are you sure this is a good idea?" Lisa Snart stands by her brother trying not to show the terror she was feeling inside. The Rogues had traveled to Star City for a special super-powered event. Somehow the Clown Prince had found out about it and contacted Cold a few days prior to bribe his way in.
"I dunno Sis is being rich a good idea?" Leonard Snart AKA Captain Cold rests his hand on the cold gun just in case the Joker decided to go all Joker on them.
"I hate clowns," Mick Rory AKA Heatwave hangs back "Let me know when I can burn something."
The Joker leans on the trunk of his car and waits for the Rogues to finish bickering amongst themselves. Harley kicks and screams but Joker just yells at her to be quiet.
"Hey Snart I'm growing old over here," Joker looks up at the Palmer Technologies building "Heroes have the most boring taste when it comes to venues."
Captain Cold approaches the Joker with his usual swagger, calm and collected as always.
"I consider meeting you an honor," Snart holds out his hand "You have my fee?"
"I'm a man of my word," Joker puts a thick envelope in Cold's hands "There's a bonus in it for your Rogues if you can scare the living shit out of Harley on the way in."
"I have an idea," Cold smirks "Lisa, Mick let's do what we do."
Harley can't hear much still being locked in the trunk. She could hear the Joker speaking with someone but she had no clue what was about to happen outside the car. Suddenly, some kind of weapon fires and a body hits the ground. Before Harley can react someone opens the trunk and grabs her by the hair, dragging her out of the car. Harley Quinn's attacker was a heavily muscled man with a shaved head. Hands still cuffed behind her back, Harley gives him a roundhouse kick to the face. Mick growls in frustration and pushes Harley in Lisa's direction. Harley gets ready to attack Golden Glider but Lisa whips out the gold gun and gives Harley a demonstration of the gun's power, spraying another car with molten liquid gold.
"On the ground!" Heatwave roars. Harley puts her hands on her head and sinks to her knees she'd been so busy fighting for her life she hadn't noticed the Joker laying face-down in a patch of ice.
"Mr J!" Harley cries, reaching out to try and touch him. Golden Glider steps on Harley's hand with a stiletto and applies the tiniest bit of pressure.
"He's dead Harley," Lisa grabs Harley by the collar "And you will be too if you don't come with us!"
"Let's move Crazy Pants!" Mick takes Harley off Lisa's hands and throws her over his shoulder. Golden Glider and Heatwave carry Harley Quinn into the Palmer Tech building. Once the doors close behind them the Joker sits up and has a good giggle. Captain Cold stands with his arms crossed, grinning like he'd just eaten a canary.
"Oh the dead Joker gag," Joker stands up "Works every time."
"Indeed," Snart and the Clown Prince head for the front door "When can I collect that bonus?"
"I sent it to your while I was dead," Joker chuckles "Thank you watching Harley freak out was quality entertainment."
"Whatever does it for you," Snart heads for the elevators "This way."
Heatwave and Golden Glider tie Harley to a chair and blindfold her. They were in a huge open room Harley could deduce that much and they weren't alone. The Rogues were having a hushed conversation with several someones. Harley hears the elevator she had been brought down in ding and more people come into the underground room.
"Snart what in the hell are they doing here?" Green Arrow and the Flash had bumped into Cold and Joker in the elevator. Black Canary and Arsenal come out of the shadows, ready to get this round of Super Fight Club started early.
"Everyone just relax," Snart turns to the Joker "This is hallowed ground normally we don't have rules but since you're here there's just one."
"You invited this freak Snart?" Arsenal lowers his bow.
"No killing I got the memo," Joker rubs his hands together "Excuse me."
Green Arrow and the Flash stand together, not sure how to process the new additions to their secret club. The Joker walks over to Harley and yanks off her blindfold. Heatwave and Golden Glider drift toward Snart in case Harley didn't find being pranked as funny as the Joker had.
"Puddin," Harley gets out of the chair "What the hell?"
"Surprise Harl," Joker takes her hand "Welcome to Superhero Fight Club!"
"Does that mean Batsy and Supes will be here?" Harley looks around nervously.
"We don't invite them anymore," Green Arrow says in passing "I'll see you Clowns in the ring."
"How did you find out about this anyway?" the Flash speeds up to Joker.
"That was me," Malcolm Merlyn comes out of seemingly nowhere "I thought we'd shake things up so I contacted Snart."
"Maybe we should start calling you the Chatty Archer," Black Canary bumps Dark Archer as she walks toward the ring "Overwatch hit the lights!"
Harley gapes as the overhead lights come on, illuminating the huge room. The ring wasn't a ring at all it was a giant cage. Green Arrow was already perched on a bar near the ceiling, glowering down at the Clowns. Dark Archer climbs into the cage and pulls up his hood.
"Hey Chatty," Black Canary starts climbing up the cage "It's your turn to ref!"
"So be it," Malcolm stands in the middle of the ring "Who wants to go first?"
"Me me me me!" Harley runs at the cage, swings off a bar and comes flying into the ring. The Flash speeds over to the Rogues and they huddle for a moment.
"How about a little girl on girl action?" Golden Glider high-fives the Flash and makes her way into the ring with Harley. Dark Archer spreads his arms signaling for the first two contestants to keep their distance from each other.
"Now I want a nice, dirty fight," Malcolm grins "Once your opponent is down we move to the next match, no kill shots."
"Why not?" Harley whines.
"Take it up with management," Malcolm points to Green Arrow "Overwatch are you ready?"
Felicity Smoak was seated in a glass box on the far wall behind the room's controls.
"I've got Harley Quinn and Golden Glider on the scoreboard!" Felicity hits a button and the scoreboard lights up above her control room.
"Round one of Super Fight Club has commenced!" Malcolm backs out of the cage as Harley and Lisa circle each other.
"Sorry Toots this is gonna hurt!" Harley lunges for Lisa but Snart's sister was prepared, she fires the gold gun and Harley is forced to slide on her knees to avoid the beam. The gold misses her face by inches.
"Come on Lisa get her!" Snart and Heatwave pound fists. The Joker's face twists into a scowl and he whistles for Harley's attention.
"Batter up Harl," Joker throws her one of his guns "Let's even the playing field!"
"Thanks Puddin!" Harley catches the gun and rolls, avoiding another shot from Lisa's gold gun. Harley needed to get close to defeat Golden Glider, she was a sitting duck at long range. Harley rushes at Lisa, firing at her feet to distract her. Once Harley is close enough she throws the Joker's gun and it clocks Lisa in the face, giving Harley a window to grab onto the gold gun. Lisa's hands slip and Harley bashes her in the torso with the gold gun, knocking the wind out of her. Lisa falls back against the bars of the cage as Harley keeps coming.
"Come on Glider get up!" Heatwave yells. The Flash comes zipping into the ring just in time to speed Lisa out of the way as Harley sprays gold at the spot she'd been in.
"Hey no fair!" Harley points the gun at the Flash and Lisa.
"Overwatch disable gold gun!" Green Arrow drops from his spot near the ceiling as Felicity shuts off the gun. The heroes had learned the hard way that even in Super Fight Club there had to be precautions due to the wild cards on the guest list.
"You're gonna let that fly?" Joker turns to Snart.
"Chill out your girlfriend won." Captain Cold pulls his sister out of the ring. Harley chucks the gold gun after them and raises her fists in the air triumphantly.
"I am Shiva destroyer of worlds," Harley bounces around the ring "Whose next?"
Arsenal and Green Arrow exchange a nod. Arsenal drops into the ring and Green Arrow returns to his perch.
"Whose this clown?" the Joker speaks to Snart.
"They call him Arsenal," Snart cracks a grin "Rumor has it he works with the Red Hood."
"Red Hood," that name meant something to Joker "You mean Jason Todd?"
"The one and only," Snart says "You got beef with the guy?"
"I killed him really bad," Joker sighs "Fucking Lazarus pits!"
"I share your frustrations," Cold lets out a similar sigh "You can't kill them all."
"Hey psychos Malcolm's starting the next round." Lisa interjects. Joker and Cold look up and see Harley perform a backflip to dodge one of Arsenal's arrows. Roy keeps firing so Harley keeps flipping until she ends up with her back to the bars. Black Canary pushes Harley off the bars from behind, catching her off-guard.
"Canary," Green Arrow yells down at her "No fucking with the matches!"
"Shove it Ollie!" Black Canary yells back but doesn't interfere any further.
Harley scoops up the gun the Joker had thrown her and shoots at Roy. He deflects the bullets with his bow and Harley gapes.
"No way," Harley shoots again and Roy blocks the bullet "That was nuts!"
"You're nuts!" Roy closes in on Harley relying on his hand-to-hand combat. Harley comes at him and flips over his head, landing right behind him. Arsenal reaches for an arrow but Harley is faster, she snatches the quiver from his back and throws it. The pair rush each other and Harley gets Roy in a headlock.
"Tap out!" Harley shrieks. Roy hits her in the head with his bow and Harley sees stars for a moment, then she latches on to the bow and uses it to push back against Arsenal. While he's struggling to hold on to the bow Harley head-butts him and ends the match. Roy hits the floor and the Flash rushes in to make sure he's ok before helping him limp out of the ring.
"Let's keep this party going!" Dark Archer comes back into the ring.
"Double or nothing!" Heatwave yells.
"Our next match will be two on two," Merlyn steps over a puddle of blood "Harley who will be your partner?"
The Joker comes into the ring without Harley saying a word.
"Well don't all surrender at the same time." Joker cackles and puts an arm around Harley.
Pissed off about the beating Arsenal had taken, Green Arrow silently comes forward. He beckons to Black Canary and she struts into the ring to stand at his side.
"Overwatch are you ready?" Dark Archer calls to Felicity.
"I've got the Clowns and Green Canary on the scoreboard!" Felicity resets it for the match.
"Green Canary," Dinah puts her hands on her hips "Really?"
"Focus." Green Arrow growls, sizing up his opponents.
"On my mark," Merlyn raises his arms "Get set, fight!"
Black Canary unleashes her sonic scream on the Clowns. Dark Archer covers his ears and rolls out of the ring. Harley covers her ears and drops to her knees. The Joker pulls out a smoke grenade and the Clowns vanish for a moment. Black Canary and Green Arrow stand back-to-back ready for whatever the Clowns threw at them. Harley pops up behind the Canary and gets her hands around her throat so she can't sonic scream. The Joker advances on her front slashing with a knife while Harley holds her in place. Dinah keeps the Joker at bay with kicks and waits for Ollie to make his move. Green Arrow fires one of his hook arrows from the top of the cage and it lands in between the Joker's shoulders. Oliver pulls on the rope until the Joker is dangling at the top of the cage like a piƱata.
"Look out below!" Green Arrow punches the Joker a few times before he cuts the rope and sends the Joker hurtling to the floor. Black Canary flips Harley over her shoulder so both Clowns are facedown at the bottom of the ring. Harley rolls over at the last second and fires a gun up at Green Arrow as he makes his way down to the fight. A bullet lands in his armor temporarily stunning Oliver and he falls the rest of the way down, landing near the Joker. The moment Green Arrow goes down Joker gets to his feet and starts whaling on the archer. Black Canary lets out another sonic scream but Harley was ready this time. Joker tosses her a real grenade and Harley pulls the pin before stuffing it into Dinah's mouth. If Black Canary spat it out the grenade would detonate.
"Battle royale protocol!" Felicity yells into the intercom, it was fight club code for when things got out of control. The Flash speeds in and handles Black Canary's grenade situation before doubling back to help Oliver. Arsenal and the Rogues step in the ring as well.
"I'm confused," Harley cocks her head "Don't they all kill each other in Battle Royale?"
"We do it differently here," Green Arrow gets to his feet "Accept your victory and leave quietly."
"Or what?" the Joker steps up next to Harley
"Or we call in the Bat and Superman," the Flash crosses his arms "This was fun but it's time for you to go."
"Oh that is cute," Harley giggles "With all your powers and your fancy weapons and training you still can't beat us."
"We didn't beat you in the ring but that doesn't mean we can't kill you," Oliver aims his bow at the Clowns "This is your last warning!"
"Kicked out of the party," the Joker hoots "Keep in mind I know about your little club and I'll be back for a rematch when I see fit."
The Clowns leave in the elevator and the room lets out a collective sigh of relief once they'd gone. Black Canary decks Captain Cold in the face for letting the Joker in on their sacred ritual for blowing off steam. Eventually everyone goes their separate ways after saying their goodbyes. On the drive back to Gotham Harley sits in the passenger seat grinning like an idiot.
"Say it," the Joker looks over at her "Or did you forget what today was?"
"Best anniversary present ever," Harley drums her hands on the dashboard "When can we do it again?"
Author's note: Are you not entertained? I got the idea from watching the fight club promos CW made for the Arrowverse and I've been wanting to send Harley and Joker on a road trip for a while I just wasn't sure how to do it. This takes place before Harley's kidnapping in Crimes so look at it as a flashback or a fun side story. Please review I've never had this many big names in one chapter and it was meant to be campy and fun do let me know if I hit the mark. Thanks so much for reading hope you enjoyed as much as I enjoyed writing it.
