Alrighty, first of all, thanks Jade Sabre for beta reading this piece; it's all really appreciated and incredibly helpful.
Secondly, I don't own any of the characters bar Kiara. But then again, I can't tell her what to do, she just sort of writes herself.
This chapter is written through the POV of Sand, and I wrote it after and whilst listening to 'Riot Girl' by 'Good Charlotte.'
Okay, I'll stop rambling on now. Oh yeah, and please, if you've taken the time to read this chapter, a few more seconds can't hurt, don't forget, reviews keep the chapters coming.
II
Riot Girl
"Good Charlotte."
Sand
"My ranger senses are tingling."
Ranger senses?
"Bishop, I've said this once, and I'll say it again; I don't want to hear about anything of yours that is tingling."
I sighed when the sound of Kiara's interjection reached my ears. That girl couldn't help but snap back at the ranger.
The ranger's overcast eyes took in every fur covered inch of the spider with seemingly little interest. "Yeah, well, my ranger senses are telling me that this creature is not hostile," Bishop stated.
Khelgar hefted his axe enthusiastically. "Well, we're goin' to have to fix that, aren't we?" he huffed out gruffly.
What I wouldn't do for a giant book with which to squash it.
"Oh my, that is a beastly spider," Grobnar gasped out.
The little bard's eyes were wide as he stared at the creature, the arrow wound he'd acquired on his right arm momentarily forgotten.
"It is good to see that your previously acquired wound, thanks to our dear goblin tribe from before, doesn't seem to have damaged your uncanny talent to point out the utterly uninteresting, gnome," I said fair-mindedly.
My voice rang loudly, echoing throughout the vast cavern. I stood behind everyone else. The spider would have to go through them all before it could get to me. By then I should have a haste and invisibility spell up and running. Then again, I don't think I'd be able to concentrate with a giant spider eating all my companions right in front of me. I'd be laughing too much to get a complete word out.
"Kiara," Shandra called out hesitantly. She placed her hand on our noble leader's noble back. "I say we move on before it changes its mind."
"I agree with Shandra. If the creature means us no harm, I say we be on our way," the paladin issued, his voice bland.
Casavir loomed by Kiara's left shoulder. No wonder the girl was such a good rogue; she always had the hulking paladin by her, overshadowing her and hiding her every move.
I sighed once more at the sound of Bishop's voice. The ranger always seemed to have something to say right after the paladin spoke.
"Well then, I," unsurprisingly, "say we do the exact opposite to what the paladin just said. I think we should see what it wants," Bishop stated.
The tiefling rogue held a weapon in each hand, prepared for the worst. "Kiara, the very fact that the ranger wants to approach the spider should be reason enough not to, don't ya think?" Neeshka protested.
I still fail to understand the exact reason for two rogues in the group. Half the time we're fighting some form of undead, and when that's the case rogues are useless. Bah, but then, what would I know? I'm just the humble 'hedge wizard' with the incredibly high IQ and sharp wit.
"Bishop, Neeshka does have a point," Kiara said, deep in thought; "You're shifty-looking and you never fail to point out how much you hate us all. What in all your time of knowing me makes you think I'd value your opinion upon something as important as a giant spider?"
She thinks the fact that a spider isn't attacking us is important? This girl sure does have her priorities set. She's the key suspect for the massacre of an entire village and she's more interesting in a spider than finding evidence.
This group is a riot just waiting to happen. And Kiara would be right at the front leading it.
This was obviously going to take a while.
Shaking my head , I walked to the wall, finding somewhere not completely covered in goblin guts, and sat.
The spider was doing much the same as it had been the past few minutes. Its bizarrely intelligent eyes were sizing us all up, one by one. We'd found the spider shortly after killing off a whole goblin tribe and obtaining some evidence of Luskan activity within the area recently.
Right now, we were blocking its only escape, and it seemed to think that we weren't a force to be reckoned with. Little did it know that it could indeed walk right through the bunch of them and nobody would even notice because they were too busy pointing out all the reasons that the ranger was hated.
"Oh, come on, already," Qara complained. She rolled her head back, staring up at the ceiling. "Can we please just attack it and get it over with? I'm sure the thing fries just like every other spider we've come across."
Qara's an idiot; that about sums her up.
"Somethin' is starting to feel a lot not right about this," Kelgar mused.
"My dear dwarf," I drawled out. "That's exactly what I've been thinking, only with better grammar."
Kiara looked back at me. The expression on her face clearly stated that she'd forgotten about me.
"Hey, Sand, you seem to know what's going on around you, unlike these guys. I'd say it looks pretty darn smart, not to mention dangerous. In fact, come to think of it, I'm willing to bet that this spider would be a better choice of companion than Bishop."
Honestly, anyone would be a better companion.
The girl had a quick wit at times, but I was still deciding whether she was an absolute genius, or an incredibly naive twit. It was more than likely the later.
"Hmm? Yes, I'd have to agree with you on that one. Whilst the creature lacks the sharp tongue and distinctive smell, I dare say it has an academic advantage over our dear ranger."
Bishop turned to face me, his hands still crossed. "I'll take that as a compliment, wizard."
"Well, it wasn't intended as once. The fact that you have a sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. And I was merely pointing out that you smell rather horrid and might consider bathing once in a while."
The ranger smirked forebodingly, his eyes narrowed into slits I gave a thin smile before tilting my head back and leaning it against the hard rock wall.
Kiara cleared her throat, her expression stating that she was obviously pleased that someone had managed to shut the ranger up for once. "Now that you're done baiting Bishop, are you gonna tell us what you think on the matter at hand, Sand?"
"Certainly," I replied, standing up in a flourish of robes. "As much as I loath to admit it, Bishop was correct to assume the creature is not hostile. However, it does appear to be smarter than any spider, no matter the size, should be."
"Bishop, you're the great and mighty ranger, go do your animal mojo thing and suss out what it wants," Kiara ordered with a wry grin.
Bishop turned to face the rogue, his eyes seemingly drinking in her appearance. "Why didn't you bring the druid? You seem to have brought everyone but her along, even the whiney sorceress."
"She was out chasing butterflies in daisy-filled fields again. I couldn't be bothered going out of my way to get her," Kiara said with a shrug. "Besides, she wouldn't have wanted to come anyway."
We all looked at Kiara skeptically, not believing a word she was saying.
"Nah, who am I kidding? I didn't want her to come. I failed to mention we were leaving. She annoys me and I look forward to her death."
"Think of it this way, if you bring the druid along chances of her getting hit by a stray arrow will increase," Bishop offered.
Kiara's eyes seemed to light up at the prospect. "I'll think about it."
In all honestly, she sounded dead serious.
"I still don't believe the spider to be friendly and think―"
Casavir barely got a few words out before Bishop was down his throat.
Bishop leered at the paladin, a cruel upward curve to his lips. "Well then. Go on, paladin. See if it's hostile. Prove me wrong, please."
Kiara raised a hand in the air, waving it about expectantly and jumping from foot to foot. She was successfully mimicking the behavior of a small child seeking attention.
"Oh, oh, oh, I have an idea."
This is Duncan's niece we're talking about. Any idea she has can't be good.
All eyes turned to Kiara expectantly, and her hands fell back to her side.
"I say we go along with Bishop's plan. I mean, look at it this way Casavir, you'll be proving Bishop wrong, and when it eats you, your armour will choke it, possibly killing it. It'll save us all the hassle. That's what you paladins do, right? You know, you sacrifice yourselves for the greater good; things like damsel's in distress and cute little puppies."
Well, what do you know; she finally came up with a sound plan. Well, except for the bit about the damsels and puppies.
"There's no fault in the idea as far as I can see," Qara mused.
"No," the paladin stated bluntly.
There was a chorus of groans as soon as Casavir refused to sacrifice himself to quench our curiosity.
"Oh well. Tallyho, Bishop, go do your ranger thing and see what it wants," Kiara ordered. She gave the ranger a rough shove in the back, pushing him forward a few paces.
The ranger whirled around, once more facing Kiara. I expected him to lash out, say something incredibly moronic and vile, but, amazingly, he didn't. Without another word he turned and made his way towards the spider.
The ranger didn't say anything to the spider. He simply stood a few paces before the monstrosity and nodded his head. With massive feet the creature scraped at the rocks in front of it; creating shallow markings in the hard stone floor of the cavern.
"I fail to understand how that man can get creatures to talk to him, but socializing with beings that have brains bigger than peas is lost to him," the farm girl, Shandra, mused.
I heard a deep intake of air from the ranger, ready to lash back at the girl. I beat him to it.
"That, my dear farmer, is because not many here have brains much bigger than peas," I pointed out matter-of-factly.
These people really leave themselves open for insults. In all honesty, they make it so easy.
"Oh, I wonder what it's writing," Grobnar spoke up. The gnome's voice was as merry as usual, and his expression just as juvenile.
Bishop knelt on one knee, deciphering whatever chicken scratching the ghastly creature had left with an unreadable expression.
"It's smart enough to draw and write some basic letters," The ranger explained thoughtfully. Bishop paused as he stood to his full height again. "All I can make out from this is that its name is Kistrel, and it's hungry."
"Well, why doesn't it do what any other hulking spider would do in this situation and try and eat us?" Neeshka supplied her opinion with a frown.
"What didn't you understand about it being smart? I wouldn't go attacking this group of hooligans. No matter how hungry I may be," I pointed out to the tiefling.
Her tail lashed about behind her as she huffed in annoyance. She placed her hands on her hips before glaring at me in a childlike manner.
Kiara gave a warning shake of her finger. "Careful Sand, you're a hooligan now too," she said.
"Hooray," I muttered sarcastically. "I'm simply ecstatic over the prospect."
She gave a small satisfied grin before returning her attention to Bishop and the giant spider.
"So there's no chance the spider is gonna chomp down on you anytime soon, huh?" Kiara called ahead to the ranger, a hint of dissatisfaction to her voice.
The ranger turned back to face us. "Can't say there is," he replied evenly.
This news merited collective complaints from everyone.
"Well that's a disappointment," I muttered, on the verge of grumbling.
Grobnar jumped from one foot to the other, his face alight in excitement. "Lady Kiara!"
Kiara rolled her pale blue eyes so far back in her head I didn't think I'd ever see them again.
The little bard let his small pack drop to the hard floor of the cave before rummaging through the pockets in search of gods knows what.
"Oh yes, yes, yes, this will do nicely."
"You know what else will do nicely?" Qara started.
"―An appropriately placed silence spell, hmm?" I asked the sorceress somewhat haughtily. "Oh yes, that's right. You can only light things on fire."
The sorceress turned to me, her eyes ablaze, and her voice intolerably smug.
"Oh yeah? Well, I'm proud of it. A fireball in the gnome's direction would shut him up just as well. And, unlike your spell, it would be permanent."
"Qara," Kiara started calmly, "If you don't shut up and listen to Grobnar's idea, we'll just improvise and feed Kistrel freshly cut sorceress. M'kay?"
I felt the corners of my mouth twitch upwards at Kiara's tone of voice. It was so calm, yet so very patronizing. She was used to dealing with each individual person in the group. That much was apparent.
"Grobnar, what was it that you had to say, presumably an insane ramble, yes?" Kiara's tone was encouraging, the aggravation behind her words lost on the naïve gnome.
"Ah yes. I was going to say we feed Kistrel the insects we found in that werewolf cave before. I've got some blue ones, and some that I think were originally yellow but I spilt ink on them and they've―"
"I must point out how convenient it is that we came across a box of insects only mere hours before wandering into a hungry spider," I stated.
"Such is the life of adventurers," Kiara uttered in reply.
She gave a small grin, one that didn't quite reach her eyes. Taking the box of spiders from the gnome, she held it out to the sorceress.
"Now, Qara, go and feed the giant spider."
