Now, let's see what happens when Foop's parents realize he's missing.
Chapter Twenty-Two: ...For There is Always a Catch
Dimension 110
Anti-Cosmo had searched high and low throughout the castle, grateful that his wife wasn't home yet. The woman would have literally turned the place upside-down searching for their son. Foop was always running off, doing some mischievous prank or evil deed, but he never left without telling his parents. Or, at the very least, leaving a note.
But, there was no note to be found. And, if Foop had told his mother, she certainly hadn't let Anti-Cosmo know. Although, given that she still thought that mini golf was controlled by tiny golfball-creatures, that shouldn't have surprised him. Anti-Cosmo let the thought comfort him for the time being. He loved Anti-Wanda dearly, but the woman wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the weapons vault and was quite easily distracted. Yes, she probably just forgot.
Still that didn't stop Anti-Cosmo from scrambling around the castle for the third time in a row, trying and failing to find any sign of his only child's whereabouts. For the Axolotl's sake, this was worse than when Foop was trapped in that "maximum security timeout" in Abracatraz. At least then Anti-Cosmo knew where the boy was. Now? Why, for all he knew, the child could have been kidnapped by the head fairy, Jorgen Von Strangle (whose last name was far more than coincidence). Or, was being hunted down - or worse - by that she-beast, Mary Alice Doombringer.
Or, perhaps…
Groaning and resting his head on the living room wall, Anti-Cosmo tried to push the thought out of his mind. That man wouldn't have kidnapped Foop. Foop wasn't old enough. Although, the boy was rather advanced for his age… Not to mention rebellious…
Tap, tap, tap.
Anti-Cosmo lifted his head at the sound. He turned in direction of the tapping, suddenly reminded of Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven, one of his favorite poems.
Except that this was definitely not a raven.
Curious, Anti-Cosmo flew over to the window and opened it. He leaned an elbow on the window sill and raised an eyebrow at the cloaked man before him. "Is this the part where I say, 'Wherefore art thou, Romeo?'"
Anti-Cosmo imagined him rolling his eyes behind his dark shades. "Very funny."
"I try." Anti-Cosmo glanced down at his watch. Anti-Wanda would be home soon, and there was still no sign of Foop. "Please, make this quick, Guardian. I'm rather busy at the moment."
"Looking for your son?"
Anti-Cosmo blinked and adjusted his monocle. So, the man did know something. But, Anti-Cosmo wouldn't throttle him. Not until he knew for sure that Guardian took Foop. "That depends. Would you happen to know something about the boy that I am not already aware of?"
"I have my sources. Anti-Poof is in another world."
Instead of hurling nonstop questions and death threats like he wanted to, Anti-Cosmo scoffed, glad that he was a such a great actor and liar. "Oh, really? Pray tell, old chum, why should I believe you?"
Guardian reached a hand into his coat. "I think this will convince you."
Not like where this was going, Anti-Cosmo pulled his wand out from inside his blue blazer. He held the wand with two fingers, allowing it the faintest blue glow. "If you're going to try pull a gun on me again, I should warn you that this time I am armed with my magic. Among other things…" The aroma of smoke filled the air.
"Relax, Anti-Cosmo. It's not a gun. Well, not the kind you're thinking of." The object Guardian pulled out was a baby bottle. A rather broken one at that. It was horribly dented and cracked, one of its bat wings was missing, and its nipple was...mutilated, for lack of a better word.
Anti-Cosmo dropped his wand. His shaking hands grabbed the bottle and held it protectively. "What did you do?" he asked darkly, fear quickly replaced by absolute fury.
Guardian was unaffected by the anti-fairy's rage. "All I did was send someone to spy on someone else. Finding your son was nothing more than a coincidence."
"I don't believe in coincidences."
"Believe what you want, but I didn't have anything to do with Anti-Poof's disappearance."
Gripping the bottle tighter, Anti-Cosmo remembered Foop's fascination with the interdimensional rift. I never should have shown him that accursed thing. Anti-Cosmo frowned suspiciously. There was always a catch with this guy. It was like making a deal with a devil or demon. Though, one might argue that this man could be either species. Anti-Cosmo never found out who or what the fellow was, and frankly he didn't care enough to try. "You want something from me."
Guardian smirked. "You've always been a smart man, Anti-Cosmo. It's one of the reasons I recruited you." Anti-Cosmo scowled. That was in the past, when he was unaware of this Batman-wannabe's true intentions. "Anyway, you know a lot about demons, if I recall. Correct?"
Anti-Cosmo hummed in interest. "I've done some research, yes."
"Are you familiar with the entity known as Bill Cipher."
Anti-Cosmo blinked in surprise. "Why, yes, actually. I have heard tales of the fellow. Dark tales of how he ravaged his home dimension and murdered its inhabitants." He smiled warmly at his next thought. "I often use that as a bedtime story for my son, when he has nightmares. He seems to like it."
"I didn't ask for an anecdote." He reached back into his coat and handed Anti-Cosmo a folded piece of paper. "These are instructions on how to summon Bill."
Puzzled, Anti-Cosmo took the paper but did not yet unfold it. He looked down at it curiously then glanced at Foop's ruined bottle in his other hand. "What exactly are you asking from me?"
"Bill is a threat. He is regaining his sanity and will soon tell my foes of my plans. I want you to turn him over to our side." You mean to your side, you animal. "I'd do it myself, but I know that anti-fairies are less vulnerable to mind rape. I know that you're not an anti-fairy," Anti-Cosmo gritted his teeth, baring his fangs, "but you have enough anti-fairy blood that you should be fine."
"Fair point, fair point. Counterpoint: our kind are hypersensitive to mind rape," Anti-Cosmo pointed out.
"Bill's powers have been softened by an addiction he's getting off of. You shouldn't have any trouble."
"And, if I refuse?"
"Then, not only will I not tell where your son is, but your wife will also pay." Anti-Cosmo paled and nearly dropped the paper and bottle. "You may think you've left me, but you're still mine. And, you know I don't take kindly to betrayal."
Anti-Cosmo shook in rage. "You're sick."
"And, you have a choice to make."
So, his options were: somehow manage to turn a monster over to an arguably bigger monster, or potentially lose two of the only people he genuinely loved. "Fine," he snarled. "I'll deal with your little demon. Now, tell me where my son is."
Guardian pulled out another piece of paper - How much did he carry in that coat? - and handed it to him. "Everything you need to know is written here. I wish you luck."
"Wishing an anti-fairy luck is the equivalent of telling him to disgrace himself," Anti-Cosmo informed, taking the paper.
"Then, it's a good thing there aren't any anti-fairies around to hear it." With that, Guardian walked away.
Anti-Cosmo watched him go for a moment before growling and slamming the window shut, now holding the bottle and papers in one hand. That bastard was positively insane. Still, Anti-Cosmo smirked to himself. Summon Bill Cipher? After all he'd heard about the demon, he'd sooner cavort with unicorns. He'd simply find his son and...maybe keep the summoning instructions for later use. Just in case he needed something that only a demon could provide.
But, perhaps that wasn't wise. Guardian had eyes in Lord knows how many places. Perhaps there was a way for him to work around this. Maybe get the demon on his side, use Bill to spy on Guardian for him. Yes, yes, that could work. Probably.
But, it would have to wait. Anti-Cosmo needed to find his son before anything else.
"Fooooop!"
Oh, no.
Carrying a box wrapped in dark purple paper, Anti-Wanda flew into the living room, blissfully unaware of what was going on. "Sweetie pie," she called in that familiar Southern drawl, "Mommy brought you a present!" Then her crooked-toothed smile fell on her husband. She flew over and kissed his cheek. "Hi, hun. You know where Foop is? My sister had this box of our old baby stuff that she was just gonna throw into the lava fields, and I found my favorite toy from when I was a babe. I thought our little bundle of hate might like to have it."
Now, just what was he going to tell her?
Anti-Wanda frowned guiltily. "Oh, is the little darlin' takin' a snooze? Sorry. I didn't realize it was nap time. I'll yell quieter."
Anti-Cosmo sighed. She was going to find out anyway. "Dearest, um, we have a problem."
"Does it involve someone eating the last piece of cheesecake?" Anti-Wanda asked. "'Cause it was definitely not me. It was delicious, by the way. Not the last piece. Uh, some other piece."
She had to have been the most innocent anti-fairy in the universe. "Um… So, Foop's not here." Anti-Wanda tilted her head and frowned. Anti-Cosmo swallowed hard. "Yeah, so… It seems that he kind of ended up in another dimension." He chuckled nervously. "Oops?"
"What?" Anti-Wanda dropped the box and gaped at him in horror. "Please tell me this here's a mean joke!"
Anti-Cosmo's heart broke at the sheer terror on her face. "No joke, I'm afraid."
She grabbed his shoulders and shook him hard. "What are we going to do!?"
"D-Don't panic, honey," he said, prying her hands off his body. "I know what dimension he's in. We just have to get there and find him."
Anti-Wanda calmed down slightly. "How do you what dimension he's in?"
Suddenly, he remembered that she didn't know about Guardian. "Do you want to play Twenty Questions, or do you want to find our son?"
Anti-Wanda picked up the wrapped box. "I choose son! Now, where the holy hell is our baby!?"
YOZNV GSV ZIHLM ULI GSV URIV.
I plan to reveal Guardian's identity at the very end of Season Two, though I'm not quite when that will be. I will say this: Guardian is someone we already know. Do you have any theories on who he might be? If so, I'd love hear them! Or, read them, in this particular case.
Oh, oh! And, I think you should check out the lyrics to the song Lucy by Skillet. It contains a big hint at something else that happens at the end of Season Two.
Review, everyone!
