Light of My Life

Light of My Life

Title: Light of My Life

Author: kazeko

Series: Inuyasha

Rating: R

Archive: Sesshoumaru/Kagome

Characters: Sesshoumaru/Kagome, Inuyasha/Koyama, Sango/Miroku

Summary: A powerful prophecy brings mortal enemies together, but prejudice may well tear them apart and spell the end of all inuyoukai.

Disclaimer: No ownership.


Chapter 16: To Live Alone


Sesshoumaru landed in the courtyard of his palace, eyes glowing red in the darkness. His mother stood at the main gate, waiting for him to calm himself and regain his sanity. Staring at his claws covered in blood, the youkai lord slowly forced his beast down, his eyes fading back to gold. Satori could feel the pain in her son's aura, but she knew that only time would help him heal. She watched as he walked toward her, his hair a mess and his clothes covered in blood as his fur had been.

"What village did you destroy?"

"I did not attack humans," Sesshoumaru growled. "I found that flock of rogue bird youkai that had been harassing my southern border and destroyed them. Is my brother here, or did his stay with the humans?"

"He would not leave his pack and mate. He is here." Satori followed her son into the palace, dreading his next question. Sesshoumaru scented the air, counting his pack members, noticing the one that was missing.

"Where is Rin?"

"I thought it best she be raised by humans."

Sesshoumaru froze, growling in anger as he spun on his heel. "How dare you! She is my ward, mine to protect! You will not take everything from me like this!"

"And what was the alternative? Letting her stay, watching her grow up? She'll look just like Kagome to you, and you will hate her for it. It is better for her if she is raised in a human village, has a normal life, and you only visit her every few years or so. Humans adjust quickly and I think she will be happier there."

"She is my ward! She belongs with me!"

"She is not your child!" Satori flared her aura against her son's, determined to calm him down. "You have six children of your own to raise, train, and protect. And you have an orphaned kitsune who looks on you as his own father. Were you planning on raising a human child, find her a human husband, and watch her grow old before your children were even old enough to use their powers correctly? This is the right decision."

Sesshoumaru stood there a little longer, growling as he forced himself to step back. He would miss the child dreadfully, but his mother would not have made such a decision without careful thought. She did care for his well-being. "When will you let me visit her? I assume that you left her with Kagome in Edo."

Satori nodded and turned to the palace, leading her son inside. It had been more than a week since he vanished, and there had been no accounts of his whereabouts. She had briefly wondered if he left the country. However, the calls of his pups was guaranteed to bring the father back to his lands, and now he seemed a little calmer and in control of his beast. "Humans need time to heal. She will miss you dreadfully, but in a few years she will learn to live her new life with her new mother, and she will be ready to greet you in a formal setting. However, I would not suggest that you ever see Kagome again, even from afar. Your beast will never forgive her for leaving the pack, and its reaction might prove fatal to the girl. I would hate for Rin to lose another family so soon."

Sesshoumaru growled a warning at the insinuation that he would let his beast kill his lover. She might have rejected him, but he understood the reason, and his beast was more hurt than angry. He hoped that time with his pups would help ease the pain of losing his lover. He paused a moment, looking up at the fading moon over his shoulder, wondering if Kagome was looking up at the moon as well. Raising his head to the sky, he howled in pain, letting the world know that he would never again see the human woman who had stolen his heart.


Kagome kissed her mother's cheek as she headed for the well. She turned back at the entrance to the well-house, tears in her eyes. "I'll miss you guys, but I really do belong in the past. My miko powers would never go to much use here, and the Shikon no Tama seems to think that I am needed in the Sengoku Jidai."

"We understand," her mother whispered. "We will think of you every day and pray for your good health. Tell Inuyasha that we hope his children are very cute, and that he should come see us if he lives this long."

"I'll tell him. I'm going to seal the well, Jiji, so no other youkai can come through."

"Very well. Remember everything I taught you, and good luck with the rest of your training. I know that you will become a powerful miko."

"Good luck, sis. I . . . I love you."

Kagome smiled. "I love you, too, Souta." Unable to speak past her tears any longer, the young woman headed for the Bone-Eater's Well and the past. As she jumped into the blue light, she knew that it would be her last trip through time, and the last time she would ever see her family.

Kagome pulled herself out of the well and smiled at the girl waiting for her. Rin was shy around the villagers, remembering other humans who were not so kind, but she always had a warm smile for Kagome. The miko whispered a quick spell to complete the seal on the old well, feeling a tear slip down her face as the power it had always exhibited faded forever. Reaching out, she took Rin's hand and led the girl back to the village and home.


Kagome stood with the other villagers in the center of Edo as Miroku and Sango took their wedding vows at last. Kaede presided over the affair as the only holy woman in the area, nodding as the tajiya and houshi bound their lives together. Watching the joy on their faces, knowing that they were going to have a long and happy marriage, Kagome felt a twinge of jealousy. She knew that she should be happy for them, but a small part of her was angry that her life with Sesshoumaru was cut short over a curse. If only she could go back in time and convince that miko not to curse the Crescent Moon, she could be happy with the youkai lord. Mentally berating herself for such a selfish thought, the miko smiled as she stepped forward to congratulate the pair.


Kagome groaned in pain as she leaned her head against a nearby tree, struggling to stop the nausea pulsing through her in waves. She had no idea why she was so sick, but it had been nearly impossible for her to keep any food down over the last few days. Kaede had given her many herbal remedies, but nothing was helping. Eventually, she decided that she would be sick in private so she could escape the pitying looks from her friends and teacher. Feeling her stomach begin to settle down, Kagome sat up and sighed.

"Mother Kagome?"

"Yes, Rin, I'm here."

The little girl joined Kagome near her chosen tree beside the stream, raising one eyebrow quizzically. "Are you sick again?"

"A little, Rin. I don't want to tell Kaede because she'll worry. Why are you out here?"

"One of the women from the village is pregnant and Kaede-sama asked me to find an herb to keep her from having morning sickness."

"Oh." Kagome stood slowly, wary of upsetting her stomach again, and followed her child back to the village. It had been a solid month since she had last seen Sesshoumaru, and she missed him dreadfully. Inuyasha had visited once since then, to tell her that his pups were due within two moons. He promised to visit again when they were born. Other than that, her life had been an unending march of training, gathering herbs, mixing potions, and practicing with her bow. Her powers were growing, but so was her boredom. She passed the time by opening a small school for the village children and teaching them basics like reading and math, as well as plant identification, certain important herbs, and youkai classification. Her students learned the names and positions of local prominent youkai and the story of Naraku's defeat. Soon, the school would accept more students as villages further south finished their harvest and sent their children north to Edo. Over time, she knew that her attendance would grow and the children of Edo and the nearby villages would be the most educated in Japan.

She returned to Kaede's hut, greeting the old miko as Rin placed a handful of herbs in a pile beside the fire. Kaede took them and began to mix another of her large repertoire of herbal medicines, humming lightly to herself.

"Who is this for?"

"Noriko is pregnant again. She is having the same morning sickness she had before, and this was all that helped two years ago. I received word from one of the villagers this morning that a band of coyote youkai has been prowling through the forest near the old well. There seems to be a gathering of other youkai in the area as well. I am worried that the village might be in danger."

"Coyote youkai? We worked with a group of coyote youkai a month ago. Perhaps they know the leader and his daughters. I will go into the forest and see if I can find them and ask what they are doing so near the village." Kagome reached for her bow, swinging her quiver over her shoulder and checking her arrows.

"Be careful, child. Not all youkai are friends to miko."

"I know. I'll be fine. Sesshoumaru . . . Sesshoumaru trained me to use my powers more effectively in a fight. Combined with the practice you've given me with my bow, I think that I can handle a small band of coyote youkai. Rin, stay here and help Kaede-san watch the fire. I will be back shortly."

With that, Kagome headed into the forest, glad to have something to do. She had missed the constant interactions with her human, hanyou and youkai friends that she had become accustomed to over the last few years. Though she loved Rin like a daughter, telling Shippo to leave had been one of the hardest things she had ever done. Also, the loss of the young pups left her maternal instincts with nothing to latch onto. Reaching out with her reiki, Kagome headed into the forest.

She was surprised when three youkai women appeared out of nowhere as soon as she entered the forest. She smiled as she recognized the sisters Senmei, Senritsu, and Shishi, and they smiled back at her. She felt their youki appear as they gestured for her to sit, the two younger women looking at Senmei for leadership.

"I didn't know you guys could hide your youki."

Senmei shrugged, her purple eyes studying Kagome in the shadows under the trees. "Coyote females have that ability because we are small and there are many ookami, inu, and neko youkai that want to kill our pups. It is rare that we find an alliance, uneasy as it was, with an inu lord. My father and brothers have been flaring their youki over the last few days to try and call you to us. Your village might be accepting of youkai, but a band of coyotes might not be welcome. We have come to offer our services to you. In a band of coyotes, there are many patriarchs with mates, sons and their mates, and daughters that form family groups within the larger band. Among the many patriarchs, there is one leader, an older coyote who may or may not be closely related to the younger patriarchs. Our leader angered the leader of another band in our old home and was killed, leaving our band without a leader. In light of this, and fearing the other band, my family and two others have fled here, creating a new band with my father as the leader. We were hoping that we might live in your forests in exchange for our service protecting you from other youkai. Father knows that this is an unusual request, but he feels sorry for the news he had to bring you from the other miko. He did not want you to become unhappy."

Kagome smiled and reached out to take Senmei's hand in a sisterly gesture. "Of course you guys can live here! I'm sorry about what happened to your leader. I know that you guys didn't want anything bad to happen to me and Sesshoumaru, but prophecies cannot be ignored. I'm glad that you did come to warn us, and I'm grateful that I had any time with him at all. What do you guys need from me so that you can live here?"

"We want to try and find a way to completely coexist with the humans of your village. I know that we youkai have a reputation for killing humans and their children, even as humans have a reputation for killing our children and our elderly, but we want to change that. I'm sure we can, if you help us."

"I'd love to! This will take a little thought, however. I think just the three of you should come into the village at first, then when we convince the others that you don't want to hurt us, your family can follow. We can help you build huts on the west side of the village, near the farms, and you can ply any trade you wish. What are you guys good at? I'm a miko and a teacher, for example, what about you?"

"The three of us actually make kimonos for wealthy youkai. Our skills are well-known. We can create simple ones from cotton and more elaborate ones from silk. My father is an accomplished jeweler, and three of my nephews spent the last ten years tending chickens and goats for one of the lesser kitsune lords. My brother and his mate have an eyes for breeding horses, and all of the children of our family can tend fields or beasts. I think that we can help the village a lot, make it grow into a large, wealthy town where humans and youkai would be welcome."

"That's a wonderful idea. Come on, let's get you back to the village so we can present your idea to the elders." Kagome stood, the three youkai sisters joining her as they turned toward the village. Senritsu grabbed Kagome's arm and stepped closer, sniffing lightly and closing her eyes.

"There is something off about your scent, Kagome-san. Something different. Have you changed your diet recently or mated a human male?"

"I don't think I'll ever mate any male, and I have been eating the same as usual. Well, I seem to have problems keeping my food down, but that's about it."

Senritsu nodded as she sniffed again, her eyes widening in shock. She joined her sisters, whining something as her tail waved in obvious agitation. The other two stepped closer to the miko and sniffed her also, Senmei nodding her agreement. Clearing her throat, she looked back at Kagome, searching her eyes for something. "You do not know."

"Know what?"

"Though I thought this was impossible, and though I know that you will be both happy and immensely sad at this news, I must tell you what we have discovered. Somehow, during your time with Sesshoumaru-sama, you became pregnant."

Kagome's blue eyes widened as her body lost all feeling and she slumped to the ground, unconscious. Sighing, knowing that a child was the last thing Kagome needed, Senmei leaned down and lifted the miko in her arms. Sisters in tow, she headed for the village.


Kagome slowly groaned her way to consciousness as the coyote sisters and Kaede drank tea together. Senmei had told the old miko why Kagome fainted, and Kikyo's sister was not sure what to think. Certainly, Kagome had not planned to become pregnant, certainly she had insured against such a thing, and she could not have wanted to have a hanyou child with Sesshoumaru. No matter what the young miko wanted, no matter that every miko knew it was impossible for a youkai to impregnate a holy woman, Kagome was going to give birth to a hanyou child.

"Are ye awake, child?"

"Oh, my head hurts." Opening her eyes, Kagome pulled herself into a sitting position and accepted the cup of tea Shishi offered. She sipped at the warm liquid, the feeling returning to her extremities. "What happened?"

"You fainted."

"Oh. Why?"

Senmei glanced at her sisters, seeing that she was going to have to share the news. "My friend, you were in shock when we told you that you are pregnant."

Kagome's hands began to shake, and she put her cup down before she dropped it. Taking a deep breath, she calmed herself, placing a hand over her stomach. "Pregnant?"

"We are certain of it."

"With Sesshoumaru's child?"

"Most definitely. For you to be far enough along for your scent to have changed, it must be past the first rejection point. I believe that that point is at three or four weeks in a human. Among coyote and inu youkai, it is within a week."

"Pregnant . . ." She sat there for a moment, trying to absorb it, trying to imagine a tiny life growing inside her. "How is that even possible? I thought my miko powers would kill any child conceived with a youkai. Especially one as powerful as Sesshoumaru." Her eyes widened as they implications of her pregnancy sunk in. "The prophecy . . . if I had not left the pack . . . it would have come to pass."

"Most certainly. But now that you are gone, especially because Sesshoumaru-sama does not know, his pack will be safe."

"And my baby? What will happen to my baby?"

Senritsu reached out and took Kagome's hand, soothing her. "We will bring our family here, teach the humans that youkai are not evil, and they will no longer fear us by the time your pup is born. They will welcome your child as a symbol from the kami that humans and youkai should live and work together. Certainly the kami must have blessed your union to let you conceive."

"Will he ever know his father? Will he be estranged from the Crescent Moon Pack for his entire life? Will he be happy with only humans for companionship? Inuyasha never was. Do you think the prophecy meant that he can never join his pack, or that he can join once I die? Humans don't live that long, maybe he won't mind waiting."

"Calm down, Kagome-san. You are getting excited. Your child's destiny is not written. You do not know if it is male or female, but I guarantee you that it will love you and want to spend as much of your life with you as possible. As for what happens after you die . . . we hope that it is a long time in the future."

"My sisters and I will be here for you," Shishi whispered, the quietest of the three. "Your child will never lack for family, even if its father cannot raise it. As you were there for Sesshoumaru-sama's children, we will be here for your child."

Kagome smiled and grabbed Shishi's hand. "Thank you," she whispered.


TBC