Woo, quick update!

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The first day at school without Hanschen was the hardest for Ernst. He sat, trembling, in his seat at the back of the classroom, expecting to look up and see Hanschen, the head of golden hair that had become one of his favourite and most comforting sights, the other being the sight of Hanschen's serene face, coming closer...

He hadn't made it to the end of the day without bursting into tears. It was Latin class, already one of his least favourite classes, but made worse by the fact that his lover wasn't there to help him with class work or prompt him when called on in class. The teacher had asked him a question, and, he, of course, did not know the answer. Tears had been brimming all morning, but when the teacher had struck him, they came out. He was inconsolable, crying into his hands, not from the pain of the strike or the humiliation of being struck, but for Hanschen. The teacher looked surprised at first, but then disgusted. He poked Ernst with his cane, ordering him to stop but he couldn't.

'To the school nurse then,' the professor said, not with concern or pity, but exasperation.

Ernst had had to slump out of the classroom, not bothering to hide his tears from the scrutinizing eyes of his avidly watching classmates. He walked slowly in the general direction of the nurse's office, hands deep in pockets. He couldn't keep doing this, he knew. People would twig eventually, how his sporadic crying outbursts had started just after Hanschen had left. If they realised something was going on... Hanschen was safe in Weimar, thank God, but here, he wouldn't be able to take it. People had been attacked, lynched for same sex relationships in the past. But he didn't know how to forget it...

And even if he did, he wasn't sure he could.

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Hanschen had been in Weimar for three weeks now, and had seemingly settled in nicely. He had found friends among the twenty boys in his class, and had even interacted with the girls in the village on more than one occasion. He liked the village, and the new house was fine, but there was definitely something missing. Namely a certain skinny, raven-haired boy with eyes as bright and meaningful as the sun and behaviour that matched. Hanschen knew it was bad for him, he knew he should at least try to let go, but he just couldn't stop thinking about Ernst. How something so fake had turned into something so real, so sublime he wasn't sure he'd ever experience it again. He was distant, dazed as he walked home from school with a classmate, Leon.

'...the field is out of bounds come fall so that's okay for the next few months.' Leon was saying.

'Huh?' Hanschen replied. He remembered the question he'd asked Leon before. 'Oh, good. Right. Yes.'

Leon eyed him suspiciously. 'What's wrong with you?'

'Nothing.' Hanschen replied a bit too quickly.

'Okay,' Leon nodded slowly. 'So, you leave a girlfriend behind?'

Hanschen bit his lip. 'Of sorts.'

'Oh yeah? What was she like?'

'Jet black hair... huge brown eyes... tiny, fragile, amazing. But I was stupid... I think I was stringing them along.' He sighed. 'I miss... her.'

Leon exhaled deeply, blowing some stray tufts of hair away from hi eyes. 'I think maybe you need to forget her, string some other girls along.'

At that moment a gaggle of girls, some of whom Hanschen vaguely recognised, passed, giggling girlishly and waving at the pair.

'And it looks like you could have your pick,' Leon said quietly, chucking and waving back.

Hanschen sighed again. He didn't want any of those girls. He could meet one girl, he could meet a hundred girls, string them all along strictly for his own pleasure, but her knew in his heart that would never equate to what he'd had with Ernst.

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"There is a place in me where your fingertips still rest, your kisses still linger and your whispers still echo. It's the place where you will forever be a part of me."

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Aw.

I know the time plan is really dodgy in this, like, it's Ernst's first day back at school without Hanschen, and then suddenly it's three weeks in, but... I don't have an excuse. Deal with it =]

Was anyone at West End Live yesterday? What a day, I got sunburnt but I had so much fun. It would have been better if Spring Awakening hadn't had to pull out but life's a bitch like that. Humbug.

Reviews are love!

Charz

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