Hi! Thanks for reviews etc. And I forgot to add in the other chapters that, btw, I don't own Spring Awakening. You probably guessed that already, but you can't be too sure =]
Ooh, and one other thing. Hanschen meets a character in this chapter, and it may look like a HanschenxOC bit BUT IT'S NOT! I promise. They're friends. =]
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'Be back soon, Hanschen, your father will be home in an hour.' Frau Rilow called out as her son disappeared out the door.
Hanschen didn't say anything as he set off on a slow trudge down the road. He had spent the past night indulging in thoughts of himself and Ernst together but now he felt worse than ever. He wondered how little Ernst was getting on back home, if he was missing him.
He cursed silently as he kicked a low wall that ran along the road. He wasn't supposed to care how Ernst was getting on or if he was missing him. Whatever it was he'd had with Ernst was supposed to have been purely physical, not...
Hanschen sighed, leaning against a tree and sliding down until he was sitting on the ground, resting his head on his knees.
He wasn't sure how long he sat there contemplating his... relationship with Ernst. It could have been any amount of time before a voice started him.
'What was their name?'
He lifted his head up abruptly to see a girl sitting cross legged in front of him. She had wild red hair and inquisitive green eyes, and was staring at him with her head on one side.
'Pardon?' he said quietly.
'The girl you're hung up on.' She moved to next to him. 'Or boy. Whatever.'
'How would you know?' he snapped.
'It's textbook. So, lost love? I saw you move in that time. You had to leave someone behind.'
'...Yes.'
'Was it love?'
'Yes – I mean, no. I think... Ugh, I don't know.'
'Aha. A boy then?'
'Sh! No!' Hanschen looked around in a panic. 'Keep your voice down.'
'It's a boy. And you've got all these feelings bottled up, because you can't talk to anyone about it because it's a boy.'
Hanschen glared at her for a moment, but then his gaze softened. 'And if you're right?' he whispered.
'Talk to me about it.'
'Ha!' he scoffed. 'Why would I tell you? I don't know who you are!'
'I'm Brigitte.' She offered him her hand, which he pointedly ignored.
'Hanschen.' He sniffed.
'Hanschen. Need to vent?'
He sighed. 'Yes. I suppose I do.'
'Go ahead.'
'Not here. Not in the open.'
'Yours then?'
'I don't know.'
'Tell you what. I know a private place. As long as you promise not to tell anyone where it is, I'll take you there.'
Hanschen was a little bewildered at this strangers forwardness, but she reminded him of Ilse too much to say no. 'That sounds... good.' He got up and offered his hand to help her up.
She pointedly ignored it and stood. 'Let's go.'
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It was a long walk to wherever it was they were going, made all the worse by the silence that gave Hanschen no other option but to think.
That first time in the vineyard, that kiss was to let off some steam, maybe make Ernst squirm a little, but it was purely for his own gain. The second time was after a chance meeting in the woods, an innocent conversation leading to a heated make-out session. Then somehow their meetings became more regular, until it became so that they would meet every day after school for their... activities.
He remembered their first kiss, firs secret meeting, first time they saw each other naked, first night together... so many firsts, each moving them along in a relationship neither had intended to exist, but now it had happened... he wasn't sure if he wanted to forget it.
'Here we are.' Brigitte said, drawing Hanschen out of his memory induced trance.
'It's... different,' he replied, looking around. There was a huge barn, mostly surrounded by dense trees, but with one door opened enough to show that it was empty.
'Follow me,' Brigitte grabbed his hand and ran forward, pulling him with her.
They went through the barn and out another door at the back, straight into a forest. There were dense trees all around them, enveloping them in near darkness save for a few rays on sun that fought their way through the branches.
'Stay close... sit here.' She guided his hand on to a tree stump, where she then took a seat. He sat next to her. 'Now talk. What was he like?'
Hanschen was going to answer vaguely, as he had done with Leon before, but what was the point? Brigitte had him sussed. 'He was this tiny, little thing, so delicate... I wanted him to be mine. And his eyes, they were so big, he looked so young, maybe I just felt sorry for him, that's why I kissed him. I was in control, I wasn't meant to fall in – in... in love. Damn it!' He slammed his fist down on the tree stump.
'You went after him... because you wanted to be in control? Because he was small?' She paused, before taking his silence as a yes and continuing. 'And now you're scared because you've fallen in love with him and you've lost control.'
Hanschen sighed. 'You're right. But what am I going to do? Even if I accept that... it's not like we can got public, is it? The world is shit like that.'
'Now that I don't know.'
'Then why are we here?' he stood up and walked off, through the barn.
'Hanschen, wait,' Brigitte got up and followed him. She linked her arm through his. 'I was only trying to help.'
'Well you didn't! Just-' he started shouting before seeing Brigitte's head drop. 'Look, I'm sorry. It's just... tough times.' He hesitantly placed a hand over hers.
'It's fine,' she nodded, still facing the ground. 'I thought I could help...'
As they walked out of the hayloft, some voices floated over the road, followed by a cluster of Hanschen's school mates.
'Hanschen,' one greeted, a redhead with a football under his arm. 'We're heading down to the field, coming?'
Hanschen looked at Brigitte, who had dropped his arm and was looking around awkwardly.
'I can't. I actually must be home now.' He nodded in goodbye, then turned away. 'Farewell, Brigitte.' He touched her shoulder as a way of thanks, then started to walk away.
He'd gone a few steps before Leon, who'd been with his classmates, caught up with him. 'Hey, Hanschen,' he said quietly. 'Steer clear of Brigitte Kaugummi (a/n: That's the German word for chewing gum!). Her sisters a...' He looked over his shoulder, at the boys rapidly disappearing. 'Never mind. See you.'
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"Love is like an hourglass, the heart filling up as the brain empties."
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Thanks for reading =] Remember, it is not HanschenxOC. No way jose =]
Reviews are love!
Charz
X
P.S: R.I.P MJ, ILY =]
