Chapter IV

Room Mates


"Welcome to my humble abode. Sorry if it's a little messy. I was flooded with paperwork before I left for Besaid," Baralai explained, unlocking the door to his home and showing me inside. "You'll be sleeping here." He pushed open the first large oaken door he came to on the left side of the hall and flicked on the light switch.

I stood in the doorway, pretending to examine the layout of the room, but really pondering whether or not I should continue our dangerous little game. I slowly walked into the room and placed my bag on the bed, deciding the lay off the suggestive comments for now. "Thank you. It's a very nice room," I said, turning around and gazing about the room curiously.

Baralai was leaning up against the door jam, watching me for a few silent moments before speaking. "Well, make yourself at home. I'm going to try and finish all my paperwork. If you don't mind, I'd like you to start on your secretarial duties now. All you have to do is answer the door and the phone and take messages."

"Alright, doesn't sound too hard," I said, looking back at my bag and wondering if I should change out of the Black Mage. "If anyone comes calling for you what should I tell them?"

"That I am busy and wish to not be disturbed."

"You got it, boss," I said, saluting and following him out into the hallway, deciding to stay in the Black Mage dress for now.

"My office is across the hallway from my room," he said, pointing at the back of the hallway. "There's plenty of food in the kitchen and the remote for the television is on the coffee table. Oh and if you need anything don't hesitate to come ask. I don't mind being disturbed by you." He smiled at me before going into his office.

"Then I'll make sure to disturb you every chance I get," I replied, walking out into the living room.

I had just settled down to watch a little television when someone knocked on Baralai's front door. Sighing, I put myself in secretary mode and made my way over to the door. I wrapped my hand around the door knob and waited a few extra seconds before opening it. A young priestess of maybe sixteen stood on the front step with a hopeful look in her eyes, however that look quickly disappeared when she saw me open the door instead of the Praetor. She was about two or three inches shorter than me, with long brunette hair and emerald green eyes.

"Can I help you?" I asked, screwing on the best smile I possibly could.

"Uh, yes, is...Praetor Baralai here?" She asked, trying to look around me and into the house. I had a feeling that I had caught her off guard.

"Do you have an appointment with him?"

"No," she said slowly, shaking her head. "I just came to welcome him back home."

I quirked an eyebrow and, crossing my arms, leaned up against the door jam. I guess I should have known that Baralai had admirers. "I'm sorry, Miss...?"

"Oh, my name is Idalia. Praetor Baralai welcomed me into New Yevon himself," she announced proudly, like that one fact alone would make me run back to Baralai's office and grab him.

"Well, I'm sorry, Miss Idalia, but the Praetor is flooded with paperwork at the moment and will see no one. I'll be sure to pass on your message," I said politely, beginning to shut the door.

"If you don't mind my asking," she began, quickly putting her hand on the door to prevent it from closing. "but who are you?"

"I'm the Praetor's personal secretary," I replied, opening the door back up and leaning against it. "What business is it of yours?" I was beginning to get just a little bit irritated with her haughty attitude.

"Well, uh," she stammered, caught off guard by my question, trying to look for a suitable comeback. After a few seconds of gaping like a fish the young priestess' eyes lit up, finally coming up with something to say back. "Then why are you at his house? Last time I checked secretaries didn't follow their bosses home."

I couldn't help but chuckle. She was acting like Baralai was her own personal property. "Let's just say that...the Praetor likes bringing his work home with him," I replied, a sultry smile crawling onto my face. I knew that snide little comment would probably get me in trouble but the opportunity was just too sweet to pass up.

Idalia's face became beat red, either from embarrassment or fury I wasn't sure. "Just pass along my message," she said, turning and stomping off in a huff.

I closed the door and decided to give Baralai his message right away. I couldn't help from chuckling a small amount as I practically skipped down the hall. I rapped lightly on the door to announce my presence before opening it. Baralai was hunched over his desk, scribbling furiously on a piece of paper, the only light in the room being a small desk lamp. When I walked in he dropped his pen and leaned back in his chair, rubbing tenderly at his temples before looking at me.

"Did you need something?" He asked, sounding preoccupied.

"I just came to deliver a message," I said, crossing my arms over my stomach and approaching his desk. "A young priestess from the temple came to welcome you back to Bevelle."

Despite Baralai's hair being stark white, his eyebrows, strangely, were the same color as his skin. He arched one of those dark eyebrows and his lips were set in a thin line, almost like he already knew exactly who had delivered that message. "Her name wasn't Idalia, was it?"

"Yeah, it was," I said, walking around his desk and sitting on the edge of it. When he heard the name of the priestess he groaned and rolled his eyes, his hands going back to his temples. "Oh, so you know her?"

"I do," he said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the top of his desk. The amount of paperwork he had gotten done was minimal to the amount he had left to do. "She's totally infatuated with me. It was kind of flattering at first but now it's annoying and bothersome."

"You never led her on, did you?" I asked, crossing my arms.

Baralai looked at me, appalled that I would even suggest such a thing. "Paine, of course not!" He exclaimed. "I would never do that. I'd get thrown out of office and straight into jail."

"Okay, okay," I said, raising my hands in the air defensively. "I was just asking." I chuckled as I remembered the look on the young girl's face as she stormed off. "And I think I made the poor girl angry."

Baralai frowned. "How'd you do that?"

"Well," I began, scratching the back of my neck. "I think she got mad at a few of the things I said to her." I paused. "Things pertaining to you."

He shot a questioning glance at me and a corner of his mouth curled upwards. "Like what?" He asked, not able to keep the smile out of his voice.

"Oh, you know," I said, crossing my legs and examining the gold designs on my sleeves. "I might have said something to make her jealous."

"Like what?" He asked again, leaning towards me.

I smirked, knowing that he wasn't going to let me drop the subject. I met his eyes and leaned towards him as well. "When she asked me why I'm here I told her that you like taking your work home with you."

"Now saying something like that could get you in trouble," Baralai said, closing the distance between us by a few more inches.

"I know," I replied, inching forward a bit myself. "It was all worth it when I saw the look on her face though."

"You're gonna have to behave yourself. I'm telling the council about you tomorrow. There's a chance you could have to walk on thin ice around them until they get used to the idea." As he spoke, our faces were creeping closer and closer together.

"Fine," I said, smiling. "I suppose I'll try for you."

Now there are certain moments in time where you sit on a proverbial fence between two possibilities of things that could happen. The moment will either happen the way you envision it or it will turn out the way you don't envision it.

This moment is one of them and I am sitting on said fence.

Baralai and I were so close, mere millimeters away, from kissing for the first time in two years when someone decided to pound on the door. That would bring the number of untimely interruptions to two. I could have laughed at the irony of the whole thing. I heard Baralai's knuckles crack as he bunched his hand into a fist, obviously frustrated.

"You probably should go get that," he said, having trouble pushing those words out of his mouth. He didn't want me to leave and answer the door just about as I much as I did.

I nodded and left his office, a myriad of mixed feelings passing over me. I was still sitting on that damn fence wondering what would have happened if the person on the other side of that door chose to come by an hour or two later. I dragged my hand down my face before opening the door, preparing myself for anything.

I opened the door and frowned when Baralai's doorstep was empty. I wondered if it was just a couple of kids pulling pranks but a rather peculiar sound caught my attention just then: the sound of paper rustling in the wind. I slowly turned my head towards the door, spotting a folded piece of paper being held in place by a dagger. I stared at the dagger in fear like it was going to detach itself from the door and fly towards me. I gulped, predicting what I would find written on the paper and dreading it.

I placed a hand on the sheet of paper to prevent it from blowing away as I yanked the dagger out of the door. With shaking hands, I opened it and carefully read the writing scrawled upon it.

Don't forget that we are watching you. There is no place you can go to hide from us. The clock is ticking.

I recognized the handwriting. This note had been written by Kaiser himself. I shut the door as quickly as I could, the resounding slam reverberating through the quiet house, then leaned up against it, trying to stop my heart from pounding. I knew something like this was going to happen. I knew they were going to be watching me. I was immediately grateful to Baralai for stopping me from carrying out my first plan. If he wouldn't have stopped me things probably could have gotten much worse for me and for everyone else.

"Paine?" Came Baralai's voice from his office. "Is everything okay?" He had probably heard me slam the door.

I took a deep breath and found my voice so I could answer him. "Yeah, every thing's fine," I stammered, walking back towards his office on unsteady legs.

When I walked back in his office, Baralai's brows furrowed and concern was filling his eyes when he saw the dagger I was carrying. "Paine, what is that?"

"A calling card," I said, handing him the note.

While he stared down at the note I couldn't take my eyes away from the dagger. There was nothing special about it. The handle was polished wood and the blade was regular steel. There were no inscriptions or markings on it to draw the eye and, even though it was an inanimate object, I was scared to death of it. I heard Baralai start to speak but I didn't hear a word of it. His voice sounded like it was a million miles away.

I think I know what they're going to make me do when they perform my rite, I thought, a shiver of fear traveling up my spine at the mere thought of it. There was no doubt in my mind that I was going to be in their clutches when I turned nineteen. No one, not even Baralai, was going to be able to protect me from them.

A gentle touch on my shoulder made me jump so bad that I almost dropped the accursed weapon. "Paine, are you sure you're alright?" Baralai repeated, laying a reassuring hand on my arm.

I tried to move my head, tried to open my mouth and say something but my eyes were still glued on the dagger. Including this, assassins of The Invisible carry an assortment of weapons with them when they go to take out a mark. Just one assassin is a walking arsenal. They use this dagger to make the killing blow, but when it's left on a house every other member of The Invisible know that the person or people inside are marked for death.

They were basically giving me my rite of passage assignment early.

I swallowed the lump that had lodged itself in my throat. I'm not telling Baralai, I thought, tightening my grip on the handle of the dagger. I heard Baralai open his mouth to speak again but I quickly shook myself out of my trance and gave him a half-hearted smile. "Yes, Baralai, every thing's fine. I'm just a little shaken up."

"Okay," he said, knowing that I hadn't told him the whole truth, but knew better than to push me for the answer. "It's still early but if you want to go to bed you can."

"Yeah," I said, nodding. "I think I will. What time should I be up to go to the office with you?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm probably going to be spending all day tomorrow finishing the paperwork I have. Sleep as long as you want," he said, rubbing my arm gently and smiling at me.

Then, without giving it any second thought, I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and crushed my body against his. He was a few inches taller than me so I had to stand on the balls of my feet to reach around him. Baralai froze for a few seconds before hesitantly wrapping his arms around me. We just stood there for what seemed like hours, just holding each other. After what felt like an eternity, Baralai moved his right hand and placed it on the back of my head, idly weaving his fingers through my hair.

What are you doing? My mind screamed at me. Now is not the time to lead him on and get his hopes up!

I clenched my jaw and rolled my eyes. That little inner voice was right though. I cleared my throat and backed away from him, meeting his eyes. "Thank you," I mumbled. I reached my hand up to briefly touch his face but I snatched it away. I let go of him and, feeling his hands fall away from me, left his office and went straight to my room.

I sphere changed back into my Warrior outfit then hastily began to take it off. Every buckle, clip and clasp seemed to take forever to come undone. It was like the leather had become red hot and the longer it stayed on me, the hotter it became. I just couldn't get it off fast enough it seemed. Once it was off of me and I was standing in front of my bed in nothing but my underwear I tore through my bag looking for something to wear to bed. I yanked a black tank top and a baggy pair of gray sweatpants out of the small leather bag and quickly threw them on.

I tossed my bag plus my Warrior outfit into the closet, flicked the light off and jumped under the covers. I was instantly surprised at how soft the bed was. If it was any softer I think I would have sunk inside it with no hope of getting out unless Baralai tugged me out of it. Before seeing his home, I wouldn't think that Baralai was the type of guy that knew how to decorate. He must have recently developed these skills because he sure didn't piss excellence when we were in the Crimson Squad together.

I sighed and hid my face under the thick comforter. Somewhere deep down in my heart I wished that circumstances were different somehow. That talk that Baralai and I had the other night had awoken something inside me, something that I didn't want to lose. I'm still not sure what to call the feelings that I have for Baralai. The last time I acknowledged that those feelings were even there was back in the Crimson Squad, but back then, those feelings were nothing but a girlish crush. Is that what they still are? A crush?

I flipped over onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. Well, there's one thing I do know, I thought. I don't want to hurt him. I was considering getting up that very second and turning myself in to The Invisible early. I'm gonna end up there soon anyways so why drag it out? I shook my head, totally dismissing that notion. No, Baralai doesn't deserve that. All he's been is kind to me.

I groaned in frustration and slammed one of my pillows over my face. But what am I supposed to do until then? Play secretary and pretend everything is just peachy? I pressed that pillow down onto my face harder and literally screamed into it as loud as I could. The pillow did a pretty good job of muffling my scream but anyone standing directly outside my door would have been able to hear it just fine.

That's when my night started to take a turn for the worst.

I froze when I heard a chuckle erupt a few feet to my left. For a split second I was wondering if I was hearing things but then, in a flash, I flew out of bed and over to the light switch, flicking it on. There, by my window, stood another member of The Invisible, Gwen. She was four years older than me, with blonde hair and startlingly blue eyes. She told me once that she had been in The Invisible for as long as she could remember. The six years that I spent as a member she was one of my closest friends.

"Gwen," I said, never taking my eyes off of her.

"Hello, Paine," she replied, taking a few steps toward my bed. "It's been so long. How have you been?"

"I really would like to take the time to sit down and reminisce with you Gwen, but let's just cut to the chase. Why are you here?" I asked, repeating to myself over and over that, even though we used to be close friends, I couldn't let my guard down.

Sadness flashed briefly through her cerulean eyes before being replaced with a mask of indifference. "Kaiser sent me to make sure you had gotten his message and that you understood your first assignment."

I tasted bile in the back of my mouth at the mere thought of what they were going to make me do. "Why?" I asked, that being the only word that I could push out of my mouth.

"Simple," Gwen said, crossing her arms over her chest and taking a few more steps towards me. "You escaped from us once before. Kaiser wants to make sure that once your rite is performed your loyalty to him is pure and will never falter."

I literally felt sick to my stomach. "I understand," I said, not being able to come up with anything else to say. I knew what they wanted me to do, yes, but I was far from understanding it. "So is that it?" I asked, my anger beginning to rise to the surface.

"Actually," Gwen began, uncrossing her arms. "Kaiser wanted me to give you this."

Gwen did something then that I had never seen her do. She moved towards me so quickly that I didn't have a chance to defend myself in the least. She was half way across the room one second and right in front of me the next, winding up to hit me. I had only managed to move my hands a couple inches away from my sides before she flung her hand forward, unleashing the most powerful open palm strike to my chest that she could without killing me. I cried out in pain and surprise, instantly feeling my limbs go totally limp before crumpling to the floor in a heap. I squeezed my eyes shut, baring my teeth against the pain that flooded my system. I hoped and prayed that Baralai had heard my shout.

"Until next we meet, Paine," Gwen said, disappearing from my view.

For what seemed like an eternity, I lay there on the floor twitching and whimpering in pain. Her open palm strike had only temporarily paralyzed me but, because of the awkward position that I had landed in, every beat of my heart was agony. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief when I heard Baralai's footfalls outside my door.

He rapped on the door gently with his knuckles. "Paine? Are you alright?"

I took in a few shaky breaths and made myself speak even though it hurt like hell to do so. "...help," I croaked, hoping that he could hear me.

I heard my door open and if I would have been able to move I would have started to dance for joy. "Paine!" Baralai exclaimed, rushing over to me. He kneeled beside me and gently scooped me up in his arms. He looked into my eyes fearfully. "What happened?"

I dragged in a shaky breath and winced, feeling as if my rib cage had collapsed. "The Invisible," I managed to say.

"What did they do to you?" He asked, anger rising up in his voice.

"Relax, Baralai, I'm not gonna die," I said, attempting to clench my hands into fists and only managing to make the pads of my fingers touch my palms. "I was hit with an open palm strike. I'll be fine in a few minutes."

"What did they come here for?" He asked, sweeping a few stray locks of hair out of my face.

My eyes met his for a few seconds as I prepared to tell him yet another lie. Or, rather, a partial truth. "Kaiser wanted to make sure I got his message."

"Was he the one that was here?" He asked, helping me sit on the bed.

"No," I replied, wriggling my toes. "It was Gwen. She and I were really close while I was there."

"And temporarily paralyzing you is her way of saying hello?"

"No, she said it was from Kaiser." I laughed. "I'm starting to wonder if I'm ever going to get any privacy until my birthday."

"Paine," Baralai said, sitting down and leaning towards me. "I won't let them take you away. I told you that I'm going to keep you safe and that's what I'm going to do. They'll have to go through me to get to you."

I smiled, flattered that he would say such a thing. "Baralai, you don't know what you're saying. If you try to stand in their way they'll kill you without a second thought."

"Then what are we going to do?" He asked, getting frustrated. "You'll be in their clutches forever if they perform your rite."

I sighed and leaned my head back, resting it on the head board. "I know, Baralai," I said, closing my eyes. "I know."

Baralai chuckled and put his hands on the bed beside me. "How can you be so calm about all of this?"

I opened my eyes, looking at him with a solemn expression on my face. "Because I've already accepted my fate."

Baralai looked at me in utter shock, perplexed that I would even think of saying such a thing. "So you're just going to give up? You're going to let them take you without a fight?"

"Baralai, you don't understand," I said, shaking my head and averting my eyes away from his. "No matter where I go they will always follow me; no matter what I plan they will always be one step ahead of me. None of us, not even Yuna, Rikku and I together, would stand the slightest chance against them. Not every member of The Invisible is able to use the same mind powers as me, and it's a good thing. If that was the case then Kaiser would have found ways for them to kill their marks with a mere thought."

Baralai was silent and, when I dared to make my eyes meet his once more, I saw only sadness in those dark brown depths. We stared into each other's eyes for many moments, never saying a word to one another. Baralai didn't need to say anything anyways; I could see every thought that flew through his head written all over his face. He wasn't willing to give up. Back in the Squad days, he was one of those people that believed there was always something that could be done to solve a problem. And, on a few occasions, that little intuition of his helped get us through the exercises quicker and easier than the rest, but that wouldn't help me now.

Baralai broke his gaze away from me and gingerly scooped my hand up, cradling it in both of his. I could tell just by the look on his face that he wanted to tell me something, anything to get me from tossing in the chips early. He was probably disappointed with me but I didn't care. I knew what would happen if we resisted. I didn't want to go back either, but there are just some things in this world that don't come with an alternative.

I came out of my revere when Baralai cleared his throat and spoke. "Paine, I lost you once," he said, his voice shaking. "I don't want to lose you again."

My anger over the whole situation chose that moment to get the better of me. I ripped my hand from Baralai's grasp and glared hard at him. "Do you seriously think I actually want to go back? I'd rather jump off a cliff than go back and live like that!" I sighed in frustration, slamming my hands down on the comforter. "Baralai, if I thought there was a way that I could stay away from them I would have told you about it! There's nothing we can do!"

Baralai was so caught off guard – or so I thought – by my sudden outburst that he jumped up from the floor and took a few steps away from the bed. When I smelled smoke I figured out the real reason why he had sprung away. In my anger, I had started to burn the pieces of the comforter that were beneath my hands. I jumped and pulled my hands away like I had been burned as well.

"Shit," I mumbled, rubbing my palms. I looked up at Baralai and for the first time since I met him I couldn't tell what he was thinking. His face was totally unreadable. "I'm sorry," I said, looking down at the comforter. "For this and for yelling at you."

His face softened immediately after hearing my apology. "It's alright," he said, brushing it off his shoulder like it was nothing, even though I knew better. He would still be fuming over this for weeks to come. He began to walk towards the door but, after only taking a few steps, stopped and turned back to me. "I...want you to sleep with me."

I blinked a few times and gave him a wide-eyed stare. What the hell does he mean by that? I asked myself, perplexed. "Come again?" I asked, wondering if my ears were somehow deceiving me.

I saw a dark red blush creep up his neck when he realized what he had said. "I mean," he began, scratching the back of his head. "I want you to spend the night with me in my room."

I smirked and swung my legs over the bed, firmly planting my hands on the surface beside me. "And why is that?"

"Just as a safety precaution." He cleared his throat. "That way if one of them shows up again I'll be there."

I bit my tongue to make sure the chuckle that wanted to escape never got the chance to. I pushed myself off the bed and before I walked past him I reached a hand up to the left side of his face and slowly traced his jaw line with my index finger. "Yeah, sure, Baralai," I said, walking out of my room and into his.