Chapter 2: Heartbreak.
I woke up to the sound of a door shutting loudly. I picked my head up and looked at the door through heavy eyes. I was still tired for some odd reason although I had gone to bed around 9:00. In the cage on the other side of the room the birds started chirping, filling the room with their morning song. I grunted and buried my face in the pillow. Pierre must have gone to work. I listened to the birds, an occasional fluttering of their wings as they switched their perches.
I lifted my head and rubbed at my eyes. I couldn't remember how long it had taken for me to fall asleep last night. All I remember laying down then thinking how comfortable the bed was. It looked hard but the moment I sat on it I sank down probably half a foot. It was a thick downed feather mattress, so obviously it felt like a cloud.
Turning I looked at the pale morning light beaming in through the window. I could see all of the dirt on my pants and shirts as they were illuminated by the sun. Outside the door in the kitchen, I heard a soft pair of footsteps draw closer, but the question was, was she going to her room? The door knob jiggled, sending my heart through my chest. I didn't even think about it, my hands acted on their own, flashing down to grab the sheet that was tangled up underneath me from a restful, motioned filled night. But it was too late. The door creaked open and in came Stormy with a basket of soaps.
"Good morning!" She boomed happily. I whimpered and finally pulled the sheet over me. She gasped and screamed. She pulled out quickly and slammed the door, squealing an apology that was muffled by the thick door. I sighed and rested my face in my hand. "I am so sorry./" She apologized again. I guess this meant it was time for me to get up.
"Don't be sorry." I replied, swinging legs off the side of the bed and grunted, pushing myself to my feet I walked over and grabbed my filthy jeans and boxers.
"But I should have knocked." She replied. I shook my head as I slid my legs into the leg holes, pulling them up above my rear.
"No, I shouldn't have been naked. First off, I don't live here permanently, second I don't live here alone, and third off I should have locked the door to give you a heads up." I slide my legs through my pant legs in my jeans and pulled them up over my butt.
"no but you have all rights while you're living here and I should have thought of your privacy." She insisted. Turning I walked to the door and opened it. Her face was beat red as she tapped her fingers together embarrassed. I smiled at her, recognizing the sparkling in her eyes. "Oh!" she held out the basket of soaps. "I brought you some soaps and stuff if you'd like to shower." She explained. I laughed.
"I smell that bad huh?" Si teased, taking the basket from her. Her face turned to a cherry red color. She shook her head, her blonde hair falling in her face.
"I wasn't saying that!" She squealed. I laughed and reached out, ruffling her hair about.
"Calm down, I'm just kidding." I Smiled. She pulled away and stuck her tongue out at me, her face scrunching making her look like a child. In a joking manner she threw her nose in the air and headed out into the kitchen. I followed her but broke away and headed towards the bathroom. There were three towel in on the rack, a pink, white and dark green, but here's the question…which one did I use?" "Hey Stormy?" I called out, looking at the towels.
"Yes Seth?" She was drying her hands with a hand towel. "Which towel do I use?" I looked back at her my eyes twitching for some odd reason. She walked forward and opened up a cabinet and pulled out towel and unfolded it, sizing it up with her eyes.
"hmm, this is big enough, but at the same time not." She commented a smile on her face. I looked at her trying to understand what that meant as she winked the folded the towel up and put it back, grabbing for another one. Then it hit me. My face grew hot as I put my hands over the front of me. She unfolded the towel and again sized it up, smiling she saw me covering myself. "This one is good. Big enough to cover you but not all of your goodies." She laughed and handed me the towel. I took it from her, my heart racing the door behind her.
I wheezed and turned towards the shower, feeling stiff. Thanks to her I had to take a cold shower. Turning I opened the shower curtain. I looked around for the faucet but couldn't find it. I itched my head, the looked up at a touch pad on the wall. There was a screen that told the temperature, a number pad, and five other buttons, bathtub, shower, an arrow pointing up, one pointing down an the last one read on/off. I smiled.
"Cool." I turned the water on a pushed the tub button. Bending over I put a hand in the water and reached up, pushing the upper arrow. I needed to test the water partially because I didn't know what degree of water was comfortable to me, even if I did, I didn't know what the hell that was in Celsius!
Once I had the water at a comfortable temperature I pulled away and hit the shower button, quickly shutting the curtain. Turning I grabbed the bottom of my shit and hiked it up and over my head, putting it in a neat pile on the washer followed by my pants and boxers.
Grabbing the basket of toiletries I put them on the edge of the tub and climbed in. My flesh jumped under the pounding of the warm water. I leaned forward and let the water trickle over my head, drenching my shoulders and my back. I began to think about Mayella. I remembered her smile, and the way she laughed. I had been supportive of her, right? I gave her attention, and listened to her problems, and tried to help her. If I remember right Jacob didn't do any of that for her. If I remember right, the only thing he did to support her was carry her to the truck the day she broke her ankle!
I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. He didn't deserve her at all! He didn't even deserve the air she breathed! In a matter of fact, compared to me and all the loveI have for her he doesn't even deserve to breathe the air I breathe! I looked down at the water as it rushed down the drain. I never knew that I could hate Jacob so much. I started to shake as I imagined him all snug and comfy in the one woman that I loves arms. My eyes started to sting as a liquid hotter than the bath water trickled down my cheeks. I gasped, my ribs hurting. I pressed my palms into my eyes. I was crying? "Why Jake? Why after all we'd been through? Why after all of this?" I whimpered, crouching down, letting the water rush over my flesh. "It's not fair, why did you take her from me when you chose Renesmee? Why did she only love you!" I screamed. I heard a plate crash in the kitchen. I gasped and sank my teeth into my arm. She could hear me. She could hear everything I was saying. But even though it was embarrassing I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop feeling like a sorry, jealous brat. Why? Why did he have to do that? I left the group when we had split up to join him! I told him the Cullen's weren't all that bad! I was the one who had talked him into a lot of things! And yet he steals the woman I imprinted on? I stopped and looked up into the water, the taste of blood on my tongue. That's what this was. I wasn't the only one who had imprinted on her. He did it first. I curled up on the bottom of the tub and shook. All of this made no sense. Even our confrontation with Arro when Renesmee was a baby made more sense. A sharp pain ripped through my spine, causing my vision to blur. I had to hold it in. I couldn't change, not now! Another wave jolted through me, sending my head into an unsteady pounding rhythm like a toddler with a drum set. I had to get out of here.
I whimpered as I forced myself to my knees. Heat flashed through my head. I never held back phasing. Heck, I had never been so angry that my body would have forced me to phase. I stumbled, climbing out and over to the window. It was a long way down -we were on the fifth floor- but I knew it wouldn't kill me. Holding my breathe, trying to battle away my demons, I pushed the window open and leaned forward. I had a clear shot to an alley way. I put my knee on the sill and let myself fall, the bitter morning air cooling off my flesh. I let my inner-self take control.
The heat rushed through my head, the cold quickly being insolated. I opened my eyes as the ground came up on me fast. I put my paws underneath me, my chest hitting the ground slightly knocking the breath from me.
"Dude, it's Seth!" A voice hollered in my head. "Tell Jake and May to change quickly!"
"No!" I snarled. "I don't want to talk to them!"
"But May's been missing you terribly!" The voice replied. I snorted.
"So what!" I heard a gag.
"Dude, I've felt this before. You got a mind just like your sister." I knew who this was now. Sam.
"Back off Sam!" I snarled, turning, heading towards the border by the woods.
"Why are you so angry!" He snapped.
"Why shouldn't I be! I poured my heart out to Ella and she turns around and loves Jake!" I stopped. I really was like my sister. I felt rage engulf me. "You bastard!" I started running faster. "You stupid son of a bitch!" I screamed. "Why Sam! Why did you do that to her!" I could feel the tears gushing down my fur covered cheek bones.
"What are you talking about!" He snarled as I crossed the border into the woods. I stopped, all of the rage washing through me like a rain storm.
"How could you make Leah feel this awful?" I sobbed, falling to the earth.
"I imprinted Seth, you know we don't see anyone other than the person we imprinted on!" He growled.
"No I don't know! I at least am trying! I'm trying to see other people but god Sam! You don't have a single clue how much this hurts!"
"Don't you dare say anything else!"
"It's like amplifying Emily's death-"
"Seth stop it!"
"Times eighty!"
"Seth shut up! You don't know what you're talking about!"
"I do Sam! I know exactly what I'm talking about!"
"Shut the hell up Seth!" He snarled.
"No! You can't talk to Emily because she's not there! But Ella is, and it kills me!"
"She wants to talk to you Seth!"
"But I can'ttalk to her!" I cried. "It hurts too much to know she feels nothing for me like that, to know that I was just a substitute until Nessie was gone. And now, I wish Nessie was here." I whimpered, laying in the dirty.
"You are such a child! Why won't you grow up!" Sam barked.
"I'm not the child here Sam!" I snapped. "If I remember right, you're the one who resulted to alcohol when you found out Ella had sex with me!" He snorted and suddenly his mind blanked out. I howled, the anger stabbing at me like a knife. But then I realized I wasn't alone. I stopped and looked around, trying to make out whose eyes I was looking through. I heard a slight whimper.
"Seth?" It was an angelic voice, one that made my fur stand up on ends, the goose bumps raise on my legs. But I was horrified.
"Hey," I whispered, looking away, trying to keep my eyes away from seeing whose bed I was in.
"Do you…do you hate me?" She asked, her voice barely audible. I was guessing she had heard all of it. All of my pain, my angry words…all of it. I shook my head.
"I don't want to talk to you, but I don't hate you." I whispered in response. I could hear her breathing, a sniffle reaching my ears.
"Seth, you weren't a substitute, and right now, I'm in as much pain as you are."
"Don't lie to me."
"I'm not lying Seth, I am."
"You don't even know how this feels!" I snarled.
"Are you forgetting everything Seth!" She snarled back.
"I wasn't able to talk to Jacob because Nessie was here! I killed my own children! Half of my family hated me! My own mothersided against me that final fight! I love you Seth! Ok? I love you and it's killing me to know that talking to me is killing you! Alright? And nottalking to you is killing me. So either way one of us is going to hurt!" She screeched.
"Then you obviously don't feel the same way I feel if not talking to me is killing you." I replied coldly. She hissed.
"You're not like Leah! You're worse than Leah, so much worse! At least she grew up!" I glared through her eyes, my heart breaking.
"That's it Mayella! Hate me! Hate me so I can live you reject!" I spat, my head pulsing with everything I was saying. I hated being so cold. I hated acting like this to her.
"You stay there so I can kick your ass!" She screamed, her body shuffling forward.
"If you come anywhere near me Ella, I'll kill you, and I won't hesitate." I growled in a deep, threatening tone. She didn't stop. "I'll kill you, I'll tear you limb from limb you leech! You dog lover! You mutt! You ugly mutt!" I screamed, the tears falling from my eyes faster. I hated this, I hated it but I didn't want her near me. I didn't even want her in the same state as me. I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to die alone.
"Seth, turn!" a deep husky voice barked. I looked up and saw that it was Jake, running behind Ella. "If you don't want her to find you, turn. I'll talk her into staying back here, but get your head out of your rump soon and come home…alright?" He informed in a soft voice, even though his paws were pounding the soil in the woods, right behind Ella. I nodded.
"Jake, I'm sorry." I turned and headed back for the city. I had to leave myself behind in those woods. I had to bury my feelings along with my heart, but somewhere, although a million miles away, I could have sworn I hear the haunting cry of my loved one. I had no choice. I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to die alone.
