18
From: Bella Swan
Sent: Tuesday, November 15, 2016 1:18 PM
To: Renee Swan; Charlie Swan
Subject: Checking In
Hi! Remember me? Thought I'd check in and update you both on how I'm doing.
Mrs. Cope and I are getting along nicely. It's a quiet neighborhood, which works for me after a long night at work. Would you believe she's turned me into an actual cook?
Oh, I have a job now, bartending at Hooter's. I love my coworkers and manager, and don't worry, Dad, the crowd is usually well behaved. The tips are great, and thanks to Mrs. Cope, I've been able to put most of my paycheck into savings.
My two classes are hard, but I'm working my butt off. I have a B average in both after midterms!
Also, I have met someone special. I know you'll like him. He's a total gentleman and a talented photographer and he treats me like a queen.
Hope you two are both doing well. I guess I will see you for dinner next week? What time is everyone arriving?
xo
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I DID IT! I emailed my parents!
That's great. I'm happy for you.
Don't u want to know what I said about u?
Hmm, do I?
Ha! Worried?
Should I be?
Nah. I told them u have mad skillz
Oh dear. Should I lock my doors?
Heehee.
Let me know if you hear back from them, okay?
Sure.
You headed to work now?
Yes, on the bus.
Hope you brought your umbrella!
All set thx to u. Client at 3 today?
Yes. I'll message you when I'm done. Don't want you riding the bus home tonight.
Aww, my hero. XOXOXO
Bye bye, beautiful. Talk soon. XX
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I am just tucking my purse away in the break room drawer when my phone lights up and starts to vibrate. Mom calling…
Oh shit. I hit the "ignore" button, feeling a bit cruel about it. Couldn't Apple come up with a nicer expression, like, "Let's chat at a more convenient time"?
My phone buzzes again with the voicemail notification. I'm guessing she left something along the lines of, "So great to hear from you. Great news! Congrats on your new job and your grades! Can't wait to see you next week so you can tell us more about your new beau. We love you. We miss you."
Yeah, something like that.
My phone rings again before I leave the room. Hmm, there goes that theory. Something tells me Mom wouldn't be quite this emphatic if all was well.
The big Hooters clock on the wall shows ten past two, and I'm on the boss's time now. I have to get my orange ass out there. Whatever Mom and I haven't said to each other for two months can surely wait till my break. Or she can write it down in an email, like a normal human being of the twenty-first century. Either way, she can wait.
"Hey, Jane. How's business today?"
"Oh good, you're here. It's a bit slow," she says, "but I've been waiting to take my break. Mind?"
"Sorry. Nope, go ahead."
As she passes me, she whispers into my ear, "Seat five's about to finish his fourth Bud. Just watch him?"
"Thanks." Wonderful. It's way too early for this shit.
It's not busy enough to pretend I can't see him signal for another drink. I cross my arms onto the bar in front of him and lean forward. "Are you planning to drive soon, sir?"
"Yep. Let's call this one for the road!" He laughs at his own terrible joke, but I don't.
"Maybe we can call you an Uber? It's on the house."
"Hey, if it gets me another beer, you can call me anything you want, babe."
"Sure. Last one, tiger?"
"Rrrrroar! I like the way you think!"
I work hard not to roll my eyes as I back away from the customer. As I settle a mug under the tap, he says, "You know, you're a lot friendlier than that other girl… whatsername… Jade?"
"Jane," Jane says to him, hip-checking me out of the way. "Bella, your phone is going nuts in there. Maybe you should go see if someone needs you."
"It's just my mom. It's fine."
"You sure? I can handle things out here."
She's right. The place is dead. "Okay, maybe I should. I told Tony Tiger here we would call him an Uber after this one."
"Gotcha. Go!"
I can't imagine any good coming from this call, but these things don't tend to improve with age. I hold my breath, open the drawer, and check my phone. Yup, five missed calls. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom.
I might lose my nerve if I listen to the voicemails. Here goes nothing. Dialing Mom…
"Bella! Oh, thank God you're all right."
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"You weren't answering your phone!"
"I'm at work. I can't always get my phone. Are you and Dad okay?"
"Yes, yes, we're fine."
"Okay, good. So it's not urgent? I'm at work—"
"It's just so nice to hear from you. We haven't spoken to you in six weeks. You know, your father and I like to give you your space."
"Yeah, thanks. I appreciate it."
"So what's about this job? Is this the Hooters, where the girls wear those skimpy uniforms and the customers gawk at their chests?"
Here it comes. Please strap yourselves in and hold on tight until the ride comes to a complete and full stop.
"Yep, that's the one."
"Oh, Bella. I wish you hadn't copied your father. You know how this will upset him."
"Hmm, just Dad, then?"
"Don't twist my words. This is not about me."
Nope, never is. "It's a good job, Mom. I was lucky to get it. Like I said, I really like my coworkers, and—"
"Let me guess; the tips are great."
"As a matter of fact, yes."
"Well, of course they are. Sex sells."
I'm in a nightmare: Someone is bludgeoning me, and there's help right outside the door, but when I open my mouth to scream, nothing comes out. Nothing but the passive-aggressive comebacks that always get me into the worst kind of trouble.
"It's explicitly against company policy to have sex with the customers." Yep, just like that one.
"Very funny. Those uniforms leave nothing to the imagination. I don't know how you can parade around half-naked in front of a roomful of drunken perverts all night."
"Most of them are actually nice guys who just enjoy looking at a nice body while they're eating their dinners or enjoying a drink."
"Is that how you met this photographer of yours? He likes to look at your nice body, I suppose?"
This is not okay at all. How dare she!
"Mom, don't—"
"Please tell me you haven't let him take your picture. You know, one little picture gets out to the internet and there's no bringing it back. Did you hear what happened to that Denali girl who was in Garrett's grade? She fell in with the wrong crowd—drugs, I heard—and it was awful, just awful! Next thing you know, her naked body is splattered all over the evening news. Her poor mother couldn't show her face at Whole Foods for a year!"
I hadn't realized how tightly I was gripping my hair until I threw my head back and nearly pulled out a handful. "That must've been truly awful for her mother."
"Yes! And for Tanya too, of course."
"Of course. The conventional cucumbers are nowhere near as flavorful."
"Oh, Bella, you know what I'm saying. These men know how to take advantage of a girl."
"Mom, you don't know anything about Edward. He's not 'these men,' and he's not taking advantage of me."
"Oh, Bella," she says, her voice dripping with disappointment in my poor judgment. "Men are men. Nobody's gonna buy the cow—"
"When you give away the milk for free. Got it, thanks."
"You don't have to be fresh, Bella." She puts on her best hurt act, but I'm having trouble working up sympathy.
"Sure I do. Who's gonna buy a cow giving sour milk?"
Mom lets out a loud, long-suffering sigh so I know exactly how trying this call has been for her. Maybe she can compare notes later with Mrs. Denali to see whose daughter fucked up worse.
"I just called to say we're proud of you, and you've twisted everything to make me the villain."
I am a pot about to boil over. The lid dances along the top, rumbling against the sides. Bubbles roll to the surface and pop. Pop! Pop! Pop! Higher and higher the liquid rises.
"Really, Mom? What are you proud of, exactly? Not my job. Not my boyfriend. Not the fact that I've been staying on top of my ridiculously hard classes while working forty hours a week. Oh wait, is this the part where you tell me a B isn't good enough?"
"Sure it is, if it's the best you can do."
I feel one of those insane giggles fits coming on. Must be my body's defense mechanism to an all-out attack on every level. I take in a deep breath and puff it out slowly.
"Stick with it, Bella. It's like we've always said, your classes are your ticket, Bella."
"Out of this horrible life I'm leading?"
"Well… no, not exactly. Your ticket to a better life, whatever life you want."
Right now, the only life I want is one without this conversation in it. My head is throbbing; my heart feels like I just biked straight up Filbert Street, and since I'm taking inventory here, the taco salad I ate for lunch is threatening to come back up.
"Okay, great talk, Mom… I gotta get back to the drunken perverts now."
"Oh, Bella."
It takes all my self-control to force out a civil, "Bye," before disconnecting.
I toss the phone away and clasp my shaking hands between my knees. Breathe. Breathe.
And this is why we don't talk.
I knew this would be a shit show. Why did I think anything had changed? They'll never see me as anything but the fuckup. The black sheep.
Fuck it, I have to work. I pick up my phone, ready to jam it into my purse and not look at it again, when I remember Edward asking me to let him know if I heard anything.
Mom called. Didn't go well.
Need a date for Thanksgiving dinner at Shady Acres?
His answer is immediate. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have encouraged you to reach out.
Not your fault. It is what it is. I'll deal.
Want to talk? Are you okay?
His kindness turns on the faucet, and the waterworks spew. He's waiting for my answer, worrying about me. I can't fake it, but I also know I can't talk to him right now without losing it.
I'll be fine. TTYL
It's tempting to sit here and let Edward text me off the ledge, but he has a shoot to prepare for, and I'm on the clock. Time to be a grown up. I reach for my phone, press the button, and swipe the screen before anything else comes through. I don't want to hear about my phone buzzing away in the drawer from the next person who punches in.
Jane's customer is being escorted off his stool by Emmett when I come back out.
"Everything okay?" Jane asks me. "You look a little beat up."
"Nothing a good twelve-hour shift won't cure."
She grins. "I don't know how good it'll be. The rain is picking up. It's gonna be a zoo in here pretty soon."
People come inside seeking fellowship when there's a storm. When it rains, we pour, my last boss used to say.
"That's fine. I won't have time to think."
Autopilot is my friend. Soon, the bar seats fill up, and there's a nice hum in the air. I'm feeling in control again, in the groove. The voices of doubt hold no power over me while I'm taking such good care of my customers and keeping the servers happy. I'd like to see my mother manage this!
"Bella!"
Huh? That sounded like a very out of breath… "Edward?"
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Author's Note: Edward? What about his shoot? Oh dear.
XXX ~BOH
