Chapter XIV

Pink and Yellow


Alright, I admit it.

I confess.

I read Baralai's mind this morning.

I couldn't help myself! I needed to know what he was going to do at the temple with his father or else I was going to go insane.

I waited until after he left to sort through his thoughts, that way I could be a little more inconspicuous about what I was doing. I wasn't sure how far my powers extended but I could tell that the farther away he got the harder it became for me to concentrate on his mind.

I did get the information I was looking for, though, before he got too far away. Besides almost every one of his thoughts being centered around me and what we had done the previous night, his main goal once he got to the temple was to find out all he could about The Invisible. I probably could have guessed that one myself without having to eavesdrop on his thoughts and here I was thinking it was something more.

Once the urge to find out what he was going to be doing was gone, I was able to concentrate on other things. I sat with Alessandra for a few minutes, talking with her about everything and nothing at the same time before giving her the excuse of wanting to get a little more sleep but really wanting to work on strengthening my powers. One of the exercises I wanted to practice was one of the first things every member learns before their training is continued.

Making shapes with my element was never my favorite thing. Of course I was good at it, but that's what made it boring. I could sit and make almost any shape, even animals, out of my fire while everyone else was struggling to make even the simplest of figures.

Kaiser had taught all of us that in order to have total control of our powers we had to know how to manipulate them however we saw fit. Maybe that's why Kaiser never killed me after I escaped. He knew I had potential. He knew he would eventually get me back to exploit my power.

I grit my teeth and conjured a good sized ball of flame that was more than enough for me to practice with. I decided to start with a fish since I hadn't done it in so long. Starting with something small was better just in case it took me a few minutes to get the hang of it. The energy drain involved with such a task is a whole lot smaller than compared with keeping myself camouflaged so I'm able to keep it up for longer.

I quickly lost track of time as I became absorbed in my task and, as I was making a dragon made from my element fly across the room and spit tiny columns of flame, Baralai walked in and collapsed on the bed beside me. I kept my concentration long enough to make my tiny dragon fly a couple circles around his head before letting it disappear.

"Is that what you've been doing all day?" He asked with a smile. I could tell that he was exhausted. I was guessing that he hadn't found very many answers.

I nodded. "It helped me pass the time." I opened my mouth to ask him how his search had gone but quickly bit down on my tongue. He didn't know that I had read his thoughts and I wanted to keep it that way. So instead I asked a less direct question. "What went on at the temple?"

"It was quite uneventful," he replied. "Apparently, the priests wanted my father's permission to rebuild the stature of Ifrit that Vegnagun tore out of the Chamber of the Fayth. I'm not sure why they asked my father. It's not like he can do anything about it."

"Very true." That really hadn't been the information I had been wanting to hear but I had a good feeling that he would tell me what he found, be it helpful or not. All I had to do was bide my time and be patient. "Did your father agree with them?"

"He agreed as far as wanting the statue rebuilt but there isn't much else he can do besides bring the idea before the council. He's actually writing a letter to them right now, with my mother's help of course."

"Too bad we can't take his letter back ourselves," I remarked, examining the intricate patterns of the quilt beneath me.

"Yes, I agree," he replied, nodding. He paused and rubbed his chin in thought for a few moments.

Figuring he was getting ready to let me in on what he had found I decided to give him a little push in the right direction. "Something on your mind?" I asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as I possibly could.

He looked at me briefly before sighing and rubbing his temples. "There's a lot of things actually. My main goal at the temple today was to find out more about The Invisible." His eyes met mine and it took me a few seconds to realize that he was waiting for a reaction from me.

"Oh? Did you find anything?" I asked, leaning back against my pillows.

"Not much more than we already knew," he replied. "The only thing I could find is that the whole group is centered around control with Kaiser in the center of all of it. Maybe that's what happens during their rite of passage. Maybe Kaiser has some way of controlling them." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know. I just wish there was some way for me to find out more."

I bit the inside of my cheek and gazed at the ceiling. What Baralai had found could very well be true. Six years wasn't long enough for me to find out every single one of their secrets, but I hadn't been a full-fledged member then. My head snapped up as the full realization of that thought hit me.

"That's how we'll find out," I murmured, my eyes wide.

"What do you mean?" He asked, his voice full of confusion at my cryptic words.

I chuckled as I sat up all the way and turned to face him. I practically had an epiphany, one that I should have had weeks ago. "Don't you see, Baralai?" I began, an excited smile spreading across my face. "After my rite I'll be a full member. That's how we're going to find out everything about them. I'll be a mole."

He sighed heavily and hung his head. He knew I was right, he just didn't want to accept it. Deep down he still thought that there was a way for him to save me from them. His protective nature towards me was a little more...flattering than I thought it would be. By no means did I need it but I wanted it all the same.

That evening passed just like the first. All of us ate dinner together and Alessandra told me some rather embarrassing stories about Baralai's childhood. I noticed that she tried as hard as she could to stay away from stories that included Baralai's older – and now deceased – brother. Afterwards, Alessandra and I cleaned up then joined Baralai and Damon in the living room. Both Alessandra and Damon convinced me to demonstrate my powers for them. I purposefully left out telling them that I could hear other people's thoughts and was grateful when Baralai didn't bring it up. The less people that knew the better.

Who knows? I thought. Maybe I'm the only one that can do it. That was wishful thinking on my part. With my luck, every member would have that ability.

"So, Paine," Alessandra began, taking a small sip of her tea. "you mentioned earlier that a friend of yours is getting married soon."

I nodded. "Next week actually." I paused to take a sip of my own tea and glance at Baralai. "We actually have to leave for Besaid tomorrow. I have to make sure my dress fits." I am not looking forward at all to going back if it's going to be a repeat of a few days ago. I would try my dress on in the temple if it came to that.

Sadness flashed through Alessandra's eyes briefly before she masked it. "I wish you two could stay longer," she said, a soothing smile brightening her face.

I smiled back at her, wishing the same. I gave both Alessandra and Damon a hug and kiss on the cheek before climbing the stairs with Baralai following not close behind.

"It feels like I'm on my death bed already," I mumbled, chuckling a small amount like this whole situation was comical in some way.

To my complete and utter surprise Baralai chuckled as well. I was expecting him to scold me or even stay stone silent, not laugh along with me. I shot him a baffled look, which caused him to laugh even harder. He spoke once he was calmed down enough. "Yes," he replied, wiping his eyes. "It's not very fun to be around you when you're acting so morbid."

Now that one totally threw me off. It took me a few seconds to find something to say back but even then I stumbled my way through it. "I think I've done rather well considering." I felt a small twinge of anger rise up in my chest but I fought it back. He doesn't mean anything by it. He's just trying to cheer me up.

He smiled and leaned towards me, kissing me softly on the cheek. "You have. How about we get some sleep?"

I nodded and hid a yawn behind my hand. While demonstrating my abilities for Alessandra and Damon I did a little more than make shapes out of my fire and I was quite tired because of it. I resisted the urge to inquire what time we would be leaving. I was too exhausted to care at the moment. I'll worry about it when I wake up, I thought as I drifted off to sleep.

"Good morning, dear," Alessandra greeted as I descended the stairs that morning. "How did you sleep?"

"Better than I thought," I replied, accepting the mug of steaming hot tea she offered me.

"If you're wondering where Baralai is," she began, walking into the kitchen to finish washing the dishes she had used for breakfast. "he left about fifteen minutes ago to arrange your boat ride to Besaid."

I went to stand next to her and leaned against the counter, cradling my mug between both of my hands. "I should probably start getting ready then," I replied, pushing away from the counter.

"Aria, wait," Alessandra said, whirling around to face me. My shoulders sank minimally as I heard my real name in her soft voice once again. I hated hearing it, but I still didn't want to tell her so. "A question first."

"Yes?"

"If your situation was different than it is now...do you think you and Baralai would further your relationship?" She sounded almost tentative to ask me that question. Alessandra was not naive in any way. Baralai and I had neither made our relationship public or official but she was smart enough to notice what was going on between us.

I held my tongue against immediately answering yes. I was very sure that we would actually make our relationship official if things were different. I just couldn't help thinking that our feelings towards each other were rushed somehow. That maybe we wouldn't feel this way towards each other if The Invisible never existed. I shook that thought from my mind. That has nothing to do with it, I thought, mentally scolding myself.

"I'm pretty sure we would," I answered, over analyzing everything I wanted to say to make sure all of it was true. "I wish it could be that way now. I'm trying my hardest not to get attached to him, but it's not working very well."

Her eyes grew sad and before I had the chance to blink, my mug had disappeared from my hands and her arms were wrapped around my shoulders. Without a second thought I threw my arms around her as well. I felt the sting of tears in the corners of my eyes but did nothing to stop them. In that moment she understood, really understood the magnitude of what I was going through. And that was all I really needed.

"Thank you," I rasped as we held each other.

Both Alessandra and I had calmed down by the time Baralai returned. Damon was apparently back at the temple and would be for the better part of the day. Some retirement... So we would just have to tell Alessandra to pass along our good byes to him.

"It was good to see you, Mom," Baralai said as he hugged his mother.

"Come back soon," she said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "Both of you." She directed that statement at me as she moved towards me to give me a hug as well.

"We'll try," I replied but I didn't put much behind it. I knew it would be a while until I saw her or Damon again and that thought made my eyes water. I didn't trust my voice anymore so, after Alessandra let go of me, I turned around and walked outside to wait for Baralai.

"Are you alright?" He asked me as we walked through town.

I nodded and swallowed the lump that had lodged itself in my throat. Baralai's mother and father were the closest thing I had as far as family goes. Alessandra had told me on a number of occasions that she considered me her daughter. I just couldn't shake the unsettling feeling that I was never going to see them again. "I'm fine."

Baralai pursed his lips but said nothing, which I was relieved about.

The boat ride to Besaid was immensely short and I spent most of my time leaning on the railing, staring at the ocean. Baralai had been ambushed by a small group of New Yevon activists as soon as we had boarded so he was preoccupied talking to them the majority of the voyage. I didn't mind though. I was enjoying my temporary solace while I could before we reached Besaid.

"So what are our plans?" Baralai inquired. He had luckily managed to escape from the group that ambushed him, much to my surprise. I had expected him to be talking with them the entire voyage.

"I'm quite sure that the council isn't going to allow you to stay in Besaid until Yuna's wedding so I think it would be a good idea to return to Bevelle before tomorrow," I reasoned.

Baralai hummed in agreement. "I have put off quite a few things. I'll probably be swamped with paperwork when we get back." He paused and rubbed the back of his neck. "Is there anything else you need to do?"

I didn't have to ask him the reasoning behind his question to figure out the meaning. Really the only thing I had left to do was train harder. I planned on devoting the next week to conditioning my powers and working to make myself stronger. "No," I replied, shaking my head. "Seeing Yuna get married is the last thing on my list." Boy, if that statement didn't make it sound like I'm on my death bed I don't know what does.

Both of us were silent for a few moments, the tranquil sounds of the ocean surrounding us the only thing to be heard until Baralai broke it.

"Do you really think that what Roland said is true?" He asked, gripping the railing in front of him until his knuckles turned pure white, a sharp contrast to his normally dark skin.

I straightened and folded my arms across my chest, giving his question serious thought. What Roland said to me about Kaiser spiriting me away before my birthday may have just been all talk or it might, in fact, be true. I would have to hear it from Kaiser himself to believe it. "I'm not sure what to think," I said, looking in his direction and squinting my eyes against the glare of the sun. "He could have said it to put me on my guard. I don't know."

For once, Baralai seemed satisfied with my answer. I had a strange feeling, though, that Roland's statement was true and I was hoping with every fiber of my being that my feeling was wrong.

Once we arrived in Besaid we took our time walking through the jungle towards the village. Baralai insisted, to my great dismay, about reminiscing about our time in the Crimson Squad together. Talking about everything that happened was much easier now that all of us knew the truth, but that didn't make me enjoy talking about it at all.

The village looked normal and intact since we had been there four days ago. It had not yet been torn apart by Rikku's cataclysmic temper, much to my relief. We weren't really sure where to start looking for everyone so we decided to start at Wakka and Lulu's then go from there. Yuna was the one to answer their door.

"Paine!" The young ex-summoner exclaimed happily as she threw her arms around me.

The impact made me stager back a few steps. "It's good to see you too, Yuna," I said, returning her hug and patting her on the back a few times. "Where is everyone?" I asked after she had let go of me.

"Inside," she replied, moving out of the way so we could enter. "Everyone's in the back room. We were getting ready to start without you."

She led us to the back room where her wedding dress and the bridesmaid dresses were hanging against the back wall. I groaned inwardly as I examined the colors that Yuna had picked for her wedding: light pastel versions of pink and yellow. I felt slightly relieved that the bridesmaid dresses were yellow. I could handle yellow a little better than pink.

Yuna tried her dress on first and, after a great amount of pleading on Rikku's part to see her in it, she begrudgingly came out of the back room. I was actually quite impressed with it.

Her wedding colors had been incorporated into the dress in a rather articulate floral pattern made of crystal beads that weaved up the skirt, around the bodice and even on the train. The sleeves hung down off the shoulders and were made of white silk.

Next, it was Rikku's turn.

The bridesmaid dresses had the same off the shoulder sleeves and the skirt fell about an inch past the knee. I didn't mind the dress much but I absolutely hated the matching yellow high heels. Thank Shiva I only have to wear them once. Rikku apparently couldn't get enough of the dress and the heels.

I, on the other hand, refused to come out and flaunt how good I did not look in a pastel yellow dress. I quickly tried it on then took it right back off just as fast. Baralai's disappointment over not being able to see me in my dress yet was written all over his face when I stepped back out in my normal clothes.

"Oh, Baralai," Yuna said, once the whole ordeal was over and done with. "you have an idea of what you're going to wear right?"

Baralai nodded and opened his mouth to answer but Rikku ran up and butted in. "Yunie, I think you asked him that the last time he was here," she whispered.

"Oh, did I?" She whispered back. Rikku nodded and whispered something else to her that I didn't pick up. "I'm sorry, Baralai. I've been so busy and scatter brained these past few days with everything that's been going on."

"Not a problem, Lady," he replied formally. "Is there anything else that needs to be done before the ceremony?"

Yuna and Rikku looked at each other and both stood in contemplative thought for a few seconds before Yuna looked back at Baralai. "I don't think so. We'll call you if there's anything else."

We were more than happy to beat a hasty retreat then. Planning a wedding was definitely not my forte and I was glad that Yuna hadn't asked me to help.

Neither of us were in a big rush so we decided to take a boat back to Bevelle and leave Shinra, Buddy and Brother alone for the time being. We only had to wait for about ten minutes for the boat to arrive and Baralai spoke with the captain right after we boarded about passage to Bevelle. After checking his log book he gladly agreed. I think it had something to do with the fact that he lived in Bevelle too and after one last stop in Kilika he could go home.

Baralai, yet again, got ambushed by a small group of priests from Besaid temple that were on their way to Kilika. It never fails, I thought as I climbed the stairs to the observation deck.

Roughly, it would take between six and seven hours to get back to Bevelle so I had quite a lot of time to kill. Too bad that my idea of 'killing time' was training my mental powers. I would much rather be in the Calm Lands or Macalania Forrest hacking up fiends.

Some point between the time that I was eavesdropping on Baralai's conversation and following a gull on its flight around the boat I must have fallen asleep. When I awoke I was in a cabin below deck. I instantly began to wonder exactly how I had gotten there in the first place and how long I had been asleep.

I really had no idea that I had been that exhausted. I was lucky that I had only fallen asleep for a few hours. I remembered various instances that inexperienced members of The Invisible had either exhausted themselves to the point that they fell into a coma that took them days to recover from or killed them. Yeah, I was extremely lucky.

The soft click of the door alerted me to someone's presence. I wasn't surprised that it was Baralai. "How long was I asleep?" I inquired as he made his way towards me.

"Well, after we left Kilika I found you curled up on the observation deck. I wasn't sure how long you had been there and I was guessing that you weren't very comfortable so I carried you here. We're almost to Bevelle now."

Baralai wasn't kidding when he said we were almost there. The sun had almost completely set, spraying a spectrum of pinks, yellows and purples across the ocean as it slowly sank into the water.

I folded my arms across my stomach and watched Bevelle get closer with each passing second. I sighed and resigned myself to the fact that I was in for a very long and very boring week. The fact that Baralai was going to be with the whole time did little to console me. It would only make leaving him that much harder.