Chapter XVI

Burn


I hissed through my teeth as my foot hit a rather sharp chunk of rock that was jutting up from the ground and cursed myself for disposing of my shoes in Besaid. I had done so in anticipation of having to run away from Baralai if he started to chase after me, which turned out to be a rather boneheaded idea. I winced as an image of Baralai's heartbroken face sprang up in front of my eyes as his screams continued to echo through my head. He probably hates me now... I thought with disdain.

I instantly began to think about what I had done to him would affect him. He was under so much pressure at the temple that what I had done might just make him crack. My eyes became moist as a hundred possibilities of what he would do blew through my head. During that week we had spent together we had grown so close in so many ways and I saw a part of him that I had never seen before. He didn't look as exhausted, he seemed much more relaxed and, even though he still had a lot of work at the temple, a smile was always on his face. It was an actual genuine smile and I know that I was the one that had put it there. Oh Shiva, please don't let him do anything foolish.

The memory of the night I had confessed my love to him ran through my head a hundred times and I realized how stupid it was for me to do that. I shouldn't have told him that, especially after how I had said that everything I ever told him was a lie. My heart constricted at the very thought of it. It might have worked out to my advantage but...that doesn't make it right.

My train of sorrowful thought was soundly interrupted as a pair of strong arms swung me off of the ground. I was on the verge of sending the most powerful mental push that I could muster towards my attacker but froze when my ruby irises met Tobias' glowing embers, which were mere inches from my own. I reflexively pulled my head away and shot him a glare that should have made him drop me instantly.

"You have no shoes," he pointed out. "Allow me to carry you the rest of the way."

My glare turned into flabbergasted confusion in less than a second. Before my mind could even form coherent thought I heard Kaiser laugh. "Tobias may look older than you, Paine, but he has not been through his rite yet. He is not as...battle hardened as the rest of us." He paused and I could tell that was not what he had intended to say. That means he's younger than me. "Oh and before your rite, Paine, yourself and Tobias will be each other's mentors. I want you to teach him the things that he has not yet learned and, Tobias, I want you to inform Paine of everything that she has missed out on."

"Yes, Kaiser," he responded.

I scowled at the back of Kaiser's head and remained silent, not trusting my voice. I had the mind to tell Tobias that I would be fine to walk the rest of the way myself but quickly put my foot in my mouth when I looked back at the ground. Chunks of twisted metal and broken glass were strewn all over the landscape. I would label myself insane if I were to willingly walk over any of that.

An involuntary shiver shot down my spine as I noticed how hauntingly familiar the scenery was becoming. Flashbacks of when I escaped replayed themselves in my head: killing the guards, running from countless others like I was some kind of fugitive, stopping to kill more just so I could escape. That night was absolutely horrifying. Before that night, I had never killed, never ended a human life. My mother had always told me that life was sacred and that no one person should decide whether somebody lives or dies, but in less than half an hour I had completely disgraced everything she told me.

In just one night I had gone against everything I had been taught. When it was all over I couldn't believe that I had killed and was violently sick for days afterward, the only images flying through my mind was that of the carnage I had left behind in my wake. I remembered how disgusted I had felt towards myself and I realized that I was feeling the same thing over what I had done to Baralai. I had the urge to hide my face because of how ashamed I felt.

"First things first, Paine," Kaiser said, looking at me over his shoulder. "we will have to find you more fitting attire once we've arrived. And you'll be pleased to find that I've saved your old room for you."

"How kind of you," I snapped, before totally thinking about what I was saying.

Kaiser's only response was a chuckle before all was silent again. I glanced at the back of Gwen's bright blonde head and pursed my lips, exhaling through my nose softly. I had not thought that I had made her so angry when we had last spoken. She had brought up a number of rather personal things between me and Baralai and I gotten a little...angered that she would do such a thing. Which caused me to lash out at her about her first mark. Until she had told me, I had no idea that first marks were such a taboo subject. Well, I guess I can relate. If something happens and I really do...kill Baralai I'm not going to want to talk about it either.

The temptation to try and read their minds reared up once more, the idea like an itch in the back of my mind. I wanted to know, more than anything, if I was the only one that possessed my unique powers. I wouldn't be surprised if every single member had the same abilities, but if I was the only one... If that was the case I had a very powerful weapon at my disposal, a weapon that no one would see coming. I need to know. If I don't figure it out now it's going to drive me insane.

I swallowed nervously and tentatively reached out toward Tobias' mind. I deduced that because he had only become a member a few years ago that he still didn't know exactly what he could do with his powers and I was especially hoping that he wasn't one of the few that were gifted with telekinesis. If he was, the probability of him being able to read minds like me was higher.

My mind touched his and my jaw slackened in amazement as I heard his thoughts in my ears as clearly as if I was listening to him speak. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye but his expression hadn't changed in the least, there was no hint of alarm in his eyes or mouth that would lead me to think that he knew what I was doing.

I'm reading his thoughts and he doesn't even know it... I thought with astonishment. I slowly turned my head and settled my eyes on Gwen. Maybe if it worked on Tobias... No! I can't risk it. Not until I know more.

Tobias suddenly dropped my legs, which I wasn't expecting, and my knees almost buckled when my feet touched the ground. He steadied me then quickly moved away, going to stand next to Kaiser. I sighed as I lifted my eyes to look at the ancient building that was my home for six years. I was surprised that it was still standing. I imagined that it had been some kind of apartment building before Sin had destroyed Zanarkand but now it was The Invisible's base of operations.

Tobias and Gwen disappeared as soon as we entered the old building, leaving me and Kaiser alone. First, he led me to a room that was filled with shelves of the customary black, skin tight full body suits that every member wore. Kaiser tossed one at me then kept his back turned so I could change in privacy. I fingered the soft material, marveling that it still felt the same since the last time I had worn one. The cloth it was made out of also helped the wearer stay camouflaged even if they were to accidentally move to quickly for their magic to keep up and that's what caused the tell tale shimmer.

Once I was changed he handed me a pair of soft soled shoes and stood back to examine me. The right corner of his mouth pulled up in a satisfied smirk and I suddenly felt uncomfortable under his intense stare, but instead of fidgeting under his gaze like anyone else would have, I sent an undaunted glare right back at him. "I've been awaiting the day I would see you in that uniform again."

I scoffed. "So what's next?" I asked, starting to get aggravated. "Is playing dress-up all that's on the agenda for today?" I absolutely did not like the look he had in his eyes. He was looking at me like I was a piece of meat. An involuntary shiver shot up my spine at that thought.

Kaiser's mouth turned back down and set in a grim line. "Paine, I've realized that you are a very untrustworthy person. When I send you out to destroy your mark I want to make sure that objective is carried out. In order for that to happen I need to make sure you are loyal to me alone."

The door behind me opened and before I even knew what was happening I was being restrained by two members from behind, their hands wrapping tightly around my upper arms. I had no idea what was going on but I had a very bad feeling that I wasn't going to like whatever was coming. I flexed my arms in an attempt to see how strong the two holding me were and wasn't surprised that I could barely move.

Kaiser delicately folded his hands behind his back and walked forward, stopping when he was right in front of me. He leaned down and put his mouth next to my ear. I tried to move away from him but the two restraining me kept me firmly in place. "You'll never escape me again."

My chest tightened painfully at the vehemence in his voice. Immediately my mind began reeling at what Kaiser meant and what he was going to do to ensure I would never escape. Hundreds of possibilities flew through my mind but the only one that refused to go away was torture.

That haunting thought sent a chill down to the very core of my soul. I immediately stiffened and dug my heels into the floor but, even then, the two members pulling me along drug me down the hall like a rag doll. Kaiser turned a corner that led to another long, dark hallway. My instinct to get out was blaring like a siren in my ears as I stumbled along, the two at my sides walking so quickly my feet were barely touching the ground.

"There's no need to be frightened, Paine." I recognized the voice as Roland's. "It only hurts for a few minutes."

My stomach lurched and I struggled against them even harder. Roland's statement had only kindled the fear that was rapidly spreading like a wildfire through my brain. When Kaiser spoke I could barely hear him because of the sirens that were still blaring in my head.

"Roland, please refrain from any further instigation," he said, his voice soft but with a commanding tone. Not unlike how Baralai's voice sounded sometimes.

I heard Roland swallow and lick his lips. "Forgive me, Kaiser."

No one else spoke after that. I could see a faint light at the end of the hallway and the closer we got to it the harder it became for me to breathe because of how much my chest was constricting. I gasped suddenly when the ground fell out from beneath me and I prepared myself for the impact with the floor that never came. I realized a second later that we were descending a flight of stairs and the light that I had seen earlier was coming from the bottom.

When we reached the bottom of the stairs my knees gave out entirely and for once I was glad that I was being held up. Spread out in front of me was a room that would be a fitting laboratory for a mad scientist. I didn't even want to know what half the machinery was used for. To put it frankly, I wanted to get the hell out of here. I had never been down this way before and I was damn glad.

That awful sense of foreboding hit me like a brick to the face when a contraption that resembled an electric chair came into view. From what I could see of it, it was made of metal with cloth straps growing out of every corner like out of control vines. I knew, without a doubt, that I was going to be sitting in that very soon. Over my dead body...

I lashed out with my fire at Roland and the other man that was holding me, shocking them long enough so I could dart away from them and that chair. I heard a sizzling crackle behind me and, before I could dive out of the way, I was blindsided by two powerful lightning bolts. I cried out and fell to the floor, spasming violently as the electric currents seared through every nerve and fiber of my body. It was pure agony. What I had done to Baralai had hurt far worse, but this pain was a very close second.

Seconds later, which felt like an eternity, I was vaguely aware of certain parts of my body that were moving without my say in the matter. My head would twist to the side then my arm would shake like it was made out of rubber. My toes would curl then tremors would shoot around inside my legs, making them bounce off the floor.

Even after the torture had ended my muscles continued to spasm and it was hard for me to move my eyes or focus on anything for many long moments. When I was finally able to focus and control my eyes I saw Kaiser and Roland were standing over me; the other member, whose name was still a mystery to me, was not in my field of vision. Roland was staring down at me with a smug look on his face, almost like he had enjoyed watching me writhe. Kaiser was gazing at me with a puzzled expression like he was a scientist that had discovered a new species and was trying to figure out what I was. I also detected a hint of sadness in his glowing yellow eyes as well.

Before I even had full control of my muscles back Roland hefted me into his arms and began to carry me towards the chair, which the still nameless member was standing next to. I tried everything that I could to get away but the only thing I could do was twitch in Roland's arms as I watched that chair get closer and closer.

"Landon, help me strap her in," Roland said as he placed me on the cold surface of the chair.

I jerkily turned my head and met Landon's eyes – his glowing, icy blue eyes – for the briefest of seconds but those few short seconds had spoken volumes to me. Like me, he was here against his will, forced to take part in something that he wanted nothing to do with. He despised what Roland and Kaiser had done to me and wished that he didn't have to be here right now. I had no idea how I knew any of that. I hadn't read his mind; I just knew.

Landon's eyes left mine, which made me look in the same direction. Kaiser was approaching me slowly, each of his steps taking more than five seconds, with his hands casually hidden behind his back like a child that's trying to hide something from his parents. I frowned as I examined his face. His expression was extremely guarded, almost stoic. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"Paine," he began, his voice level. "you will now become a full member of The Invisible. Since your birthday is still a week away the process will take longer than normal. Rest assured, your transformation will be complete when the day to hunt your mark arrives." He looked at Landon and Roland, curtly nodding his head.

My hands white-knuckled the chair arms as the two men's strong hands held my head in place. My whole body broke out into a cold sweat when Kaiser pulled a syringe filled half way with a milky substance out from behind his back, holding it in front of him like he was presenting it to me.

I hadn't noticed but my hands were shaking from how hard I was gripping the ends of the metal arms. My body was as rigid as a board and I was hoping he wouldn't be able to successfully administer the drug because of how tense I was. Kaiser had begun to slowly walk towards me and with every step he took I pressed myself farther and farther into the back of the chair, or at least I tried to.

"Roland, turn her head."

My head snapped to the left, my face hitting the back of the chair roughly. This was even worse. Now I couldn't even see Kaiser getting closer and closer with that friggin needle. The only thing I could hear was the sound of his foot falls. Suddenly they stopped and I squeezed my eyes shut, a lone tear falling down my cheek.

I had been absolutely right about the torture part. Watching Kaiser as he approached me with that syringe was horrifically terrifying, but as soon as I could no longer see him it somehow made it that much worse. Instinctively I started to struggle against the two men holding me in place, using every ounce of my strength to tear free. More tears welled up in the corners of my eyes as I realized that I wasn't going to escape from this. For the first time in...well a long time I was powerless and that's what scared me the most.

I cracked one eye open after long moments of not feeling the tell tale prick of a needle, wondering what in the hell was taking him so long. Kaiser was standing solemnly in front of me as far as I could tell from looking out of the corner of my eye. My hands clenched into tight fists, a scorching hot flare of anger swelling up in my chest. He was enjoying doing this to me. He was totally eating up the fact that I was cringing in fear of him.

"Are you gonna get this over with or what?" I snapped savagely, wishing I could get my hands on him.

My eyes widened even more when I saw that Kaiser was adding something to the solution that was already in the chamber. The syringe, not including the needle with the plunger pushed all the way in, was about five inches long. Half of that had been taken up by the milky substance I had seen earlier. Now he was completely filling it. The substance he was adding was clear, making the solution take on a silvery marble-like sheen. What the hell is that stuff? I thought with dismay, my throat tightening.

Then, right there in front of me. he rose the accursed instrument up in front of his face and carefully flicked the glass chamber. It felt like time had almost completely stopped as I watched a few bubbles rise agonizingly to the surface before he pushed the plunger up a tiny fraction, allowing the bubbles and a tiny spurt of solution to shoot out of the needle. I watched the droplets sail through the air on their way to the ground and as they hit the tile floor. I felt a couple trickles of sweat slide down the side of my face. When I brought my eyes back up to look at him Kaiser was staring into the solution like he was mesmerized by it and smirked.

"This shot will be one of many. You may not feel the drug's effect now but in one or two more sessions, you will," he said and for added effect he leaned forward and pressed his hand on the side of my face. I felt both Roland and Landon reposition their hands as well. My stomach churned as I wondered why they were bracing my head and shoulders like this.

I didn't have to wonder much longer when I felt the enormous needle penetrate my neck. I gasped and tried to pull my head away as Kaiser pushed the needle in farther. I was hoping the process would be practically painless, that is until he started pushing the drug into my system.

Now I'm not sure how many of you have been burned before, either by fire or hot liquid, but it hurts like a bitch. Imagine a small drop of volcanic magma landing on...let's say your arm. Stings, huh? Now let's imagine that same magma coursing through your veins. That's what it felt like, only a hundred times worse.

I tried to hold in the screams as long as I could but once I felt the drug start to descend into my chest and arms I couldn't hold them in any longer. My screams bounced off the walls, making them sound even louder than they actually were. Now I knew why they had brought me so far away from everyone; they didn't want anyone else to hear me scream.

It felt like my insides were burning, like my stomach had been turned into a furnace and was gladly pumping the fire through me. I kept expecting to burst into flames at any second. I thrashed wildly against their hold on me, wriggling my body anyway I could. As the solution descended, it only made the burning worse and soon my screams turned into high-pitched shrieks. The straps holding me down were immensely strong and were rubbing my wrists and ankles raw but I didn't care. I couldn't stand one more second of this. I could still feel the needle lodged in my neck, which meant that the chamber wasn't empty yet.

After my throat had become so raw from screaming I started to beg. And yes, it really did hurt so much that I was reduced to begging them to stop. Through the ringing and the sound of blood rushing in my ears I heard Roland chuckle. I tried lurching my head and hands towards him but cried out when a white-hot flash of agony surged down my spine.

Kaiser pulled the needle out a few seconds later but I only knew that because the firm hold all three of them had on me was suddenly gone. My heart was pumping frantically in my ears as it moved the serum through my system. I bit down on my tongue and concentrated on only that, which somehow made the fire coursing through my veins bearable. I snapped my eyes shut as all three of them moved to stand in front of me. I had no desire to look at them or to make any more noise and give Roland the satisfaction of seeing me suffer. Staying silent was so hard. Even when I clenched my teeth, a couple groans and gasps still managed to escape.

My breath left my body in one big whoosh as I felt something change. The burning had descended all the way down to my feet and stayed constant for a few more agonizing minutes before the pain in my shoulders and chest started to recede. My skin crawled and prickled after the burning started to fade, making me want to reach up and itch myself like I had fleas.

It took almost an hour for everything to go away completely and I was relieved because I was just about ready to go insane. I sighed in relief and for the first time in about two hours I was finally able to relax. I was so tensed and rigid during that whole ordeal that it took a few minutes for my muscles to completely unlock. Even then I didn't think I would be able to walk on my own, but I wasn't expecting to get carried out either.

Landon undid all the straps holding me down and I rose shakily to my feet, taking a few hesitant steps forward. My legs were wobbly but it wasn't anything that I couldn't handle. I would rather walk away by my own power then have Roland put his hands on me again. I hadn't put much thought to it before but Roland's attitude towards me was different. He never paid very much attention to me when we were younger but now it seemed like he was going out of his way to make my life a living hell.

Kaiser stepped out of my way and watched me closely as I slowly made my way past them. I felt surprise emanating off of Roland and Landon. I wasn't sure how to decipher their emotions but I didn't want to read their minds to find out. I just wanted to get as far away from that room as I could. When I reached the stairs I didn't hear their footsteps following me so I carried on, undeterred.

I was still confused about what Kaiser had said before he injected me. That statement made me dread the next time I had to endure another one of those inoculations. Goosebumps popped up all over my arms just thinking about it.

My feet carried me back into the dark hallway that I had been dragged down earlier and through a maze of dimly lit passageways until I stopped in front of a nondescript wooden door. I reached out and grabbed the rusted knob, slowly twisting it then pushing the door open.

The contents of the room were covered in a thick layer of dust. No one, not even Kaiser, had been in here since I left. If I had walked into an immaculately prepared room I would have pinched myself to ensure I was awake. I was expecting walking into an ancient looking room so I just decided to clean it myself. I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to fall into my bed – which was probably just as dusty – but I didn't want to leave this place in the sorry state that it was in. If I didn't do it, no one would.

The only kind of cleaning supplies that I could find was a feather duster, a dirty rag and a bottle of household cleaner. I was surprised that I had found that much, but it was better than dry dusting with my hands. Beggars can't be choosers in a place like this.

I had just finished when Tobias walked through my door. I looked at him and quirked my eyebrow. "Kaiser requested that you and I spar," he said, moving his hand to wrap around the hilt of his sword.

"I don't have my sword," I replied.

Tobias frowned, probably wondering why I didn't have It. "Where is it?"

I sighed silently to myself. "In Bevelle." In Baralai's house.