Chapter 10: Some Problems, resolved
I sat on the back porch, letting my flesh get soaked as the rain came down hard, the sound of Ella's family inside talking noisily about her rash decisions. Edward was even angry. But I didn't understand it. If Edward had read their minds inside of the womb, how the hell did he care about them?
Off to the side, the squishing of grass reached my ears. I looked off to the side by the pool. Tj had come back about thirty minutes ago with Edward and Bella, and the moment Edward got in the house and Ella told him what happened, he flipped. Bella was disappointed as well, but Ella didn't care.
"it was the best for my babies, they'll be taken care of, I know they will."
"Hey Tj," I smiled at him as he walked forward. He returned my smile. He was wearing a white button up dress shirt and a feminine pair of short shorts. He sat next to me. I had to admit, it was odd how he dressed, but yet again, I liked any assortment of clothing that made me feel more nude. Of course, I had to be careful not to change without taking them off first.
He sat next to me, his body drenched in water, even more than mine. He smiled and leaned forward, resting his forehead against mine. I laughed and pushed my forehead against his. His wet hair stuck to his cheeks as he pulled his head away and looked out over the woods. His smile was almost creepy. Looking down at his hands, he turned to me and started to sign language.
"Why don't I go inside? I don't belong in there, not after I had done that to Ella, and Rena? I'm a mutt, a reject dog that deserves to be locked up outside through all weather, rain, snow, hail…" I paused and looked at the sky. A streak of lightening flashed, causing him to jump. "Lightening." I added. He glared at me, crossing his arms. I looked at him with a light expression and laughed. "It's alright Tj, I'm fine with what I deserve." I replied.
Rolling his eyes he stood up and walked out onto the grass, then turned to face me. He got down on his hands and knees and made light, barely audible barks. I laughed as he started to jump around on his knees and hands. I shook my head.
"I thought I was crazy, crazy." I joked. He stopped and smiled at me. He was covered in mud now, from head to toe, all the way up his thighs, all over his stomach. He had completely plastered his white shirt in brown. He stood up and looked down, displeased with his work on his shirt. "You might want to go shower before you decide to walk into Carlisle's house." I opted. He chuckled quietly and gave me a thumbs up. Turning he headed toward the front of the house. I just laughed. Poor kid. Behind me the sliding door opened. I whirled around. It was Ella. She was in a long, knee length t-shirt -which was probably a dress on a human- and a pair of jeans. "Ella?" I gasped, feeling like I shouldn't have been there.
Standing, I gave her a quick apology and started to climb off of the porch. She grabbed my arm and pulled me back.
"Seth, you don't have to stay out here." She replied. I shook my head.
"No, I do, I attacked you for god's sake! I tore apart a dead girl!" I whimpered. She sighed. Holding onto my arm, she slid her hand down so that her hand was in mine. Turning she headed inside, pulling me along with her. Edward was talking to Jake, and judging by the chat in the room, no one favored Ella's choice of action. She pulled me right by everyone, my pants leaving a trail of water through the kitchen and across the rug in the living room. She pulled me upstairs and into the bathroom.
Grabbing a towel she handed it to me, helping me dry off.
"Seth," She whispered as I shook it through my jaw bone length hair. I looked at her, resting the towel around my neck. "Do you think what I did was bad?" She whispered, her hands cupped in front of her. I shifted. She was asking my opinion on what she did? I shrugged my shoulders. Maybe I could make it up to her by not acting like a dink? Would that help?
"I don't think so, you were only looking out for your kids." I replied. She nodded slowly.
"They're so mad at me for letting them go like that." She whispered. Turning she made her way towards her bedroom. I followed her.
"They shouldn't be, you were only thinking of their safety." I repeated. She walked in and sat on the edge of the bed, looking out the glass wall.
"Right now, little Moku would be crying. He always cries this late at night." She whispered. I cocked my eye brow.
"Moku? You named one of your kids Moku." She nodded. I sighed. The poor kid was going to get the crap kicked out of him. I walked over and sat next to her. "Ella? Who were you talking about earlier? Right before I attacked you?" I asked. She looked at me and sighed.
"One of my friends. He had this huge crush on me, but I found him cheating on his girlfriend so I found a way to break them up." She shrugged. "They were just going to hurt each other." She explained. I nodded.
"I see, I thought you had been talking about me that day." I whispered. She shook her head.
"No Seth, I only talk good about you." She grabbed my hand and pressed it to her cheek. "I missed you so much, and everyday I felt so awful for choosing Jacob over you, but I love him so much that it hurts when I choose you over him." She whispered. I looked at her shocked, my heart pounding hard in my chest. Here was the girl I had tried to kill, the girl I replaced, the girl I didn't care if she died…and here she was, still loving me.
I pulled my hand away from her and grabbed her shoulders. I shoved her back onto the bed and pinned her wrists to the mattress. She gasped as I jammed my lips against hers.
"Seth stop!" She squealed, struggling against me. I kissed her hard again, climbing on top of her, shoving my knee in between her legs. She bit my bottom lip hard. I pulled away. She slipped off of the bed and headed for the door, but I was so persistant. I stood up and grabbed her arm, pulling her towards me. I slammed her against the wall and kissed her again. "Get away from me Seth!" She hissed, trying to push me away. I dragged my tongue across her bottom lip. A sharp sting went through my cheek. She had slapped me, hard. I felt anger rip through me. Grabbing her I pulled her to the floor and forced my lips against hers, sucking on the tongue that was trying to push my lips away with. I could smell the heat. From both of us, but she was struggling so hard. It was hard for me to keep her down, her fists jolting my fingertips from the floor as I tried to shackle down her arms. I spotted the glimmering of her wedding ring. Reaching up I grabbed it and pulled it from her finger, throwing it to the opposite side of the room. I smiled as I watched it hit the wall and bounce off, but as I looked back down at her, I was greeted by a closed fist. It smashed into my fist, knocking all of the sense out of me, breaking my nose.
She stood up and walked across the room, grabbing her ring. She stomped over to the door and ripped it open. My heart started pounding. I was going to lose her, the only one who wasn't mad at me for what I'd done.
"Ella don't leave me!" I cried. She stopped and whirled around, glaring at me. She was crying, but so was I.
"Why shouldn't I Seth? I'm married!" She hissed. I held up my hand, showing off the wedding ring.
"So am I." I cried back. She looked at me shocked, the depressed.
"You…you two had gotten married already?" She whispered. I nodded, starting to cry.
"I miss her so much," I sobbed. I was a complete mess. "My love, my baby, my wife is gone." I was hysterical now. "I just, I saw that wedding band, I knew it wasn't from me, I wanted to feel like I used to before I left, before Nessie was gone." I pushed myself onto my bottom and pushed my knees to my face. I felt awful. I couldn't believe that I had done that to her. There was nothing. She must have left.
I felt cold arms wrap around me. I gasped and looked up. She was hugging me tightly. She looked at me with sympathetic eyes, then pressed her lips against mine. I pulled away.
"I can't now." I whispered. "It was wrong of me to do that to you." She laid her head on my shoulder. We sat there quietly for a few minutes, being showered in moonlight. "Ella?" I squeaked.
"Hmm?" She kept her head on my shoulder.
"If your kids were thinking such awful things, why does your family love them so much?" I asked. She looked at me confused.
"What were they thinking?" I looked at her.
"They were thinking on how they didn't want to leave you, that they wanted to kill you." She looked at me shocked, then nodded.
"Their thoughts change so much. It went from I want to kill her to I'm hungry to I love you mommy, can I hit daddy?" She giggled. I looked at her shocked, then looked around.
"O…k. Sounds to me like you birthed a couple unnatural skitzo's." I snorted. She laughed.
"They take after their mother." She winked at me. I laughed and shook my head. Should I tell her of Jake? I waited a couple minutes, letting the quiet sink back in.
"Ella?" I questioned again. "If I tell you this, promise me you won't get mad with Jake." She pulled away and looked at me incredulously.
"Is it a lie?" She accused. I shook my head.
"I can't lie to you Ella." I whispered. She nodded.
"Then go ahead." She pulled way from me and sat next to me. I sighed, my heart pounding. I was afraid of doing this.
"Ella, when you died, Carlisle had a chance to save your kids." I whispered. "They were alive when they had been ripped out, so alive that they were crying. Carlisle began to gather them up to take care of them but Jake told him to leave them alone.
"'I'm not ready Carlisle. I can't be a dad, I can't take care of them on my own.'
"'So are you just leaving them to die?' Carlisle countered. He nodded.
"'I'm not responsible enough, plus, I hate children' he chuckled dryly. 'I can't take care of them, not without their mother.'" Ella gasped, her eyebrows furrowed.
"'Let me take them.' Xio told Carlisle. Carlisle nodded and just handed them over. Xio said that day that he was taking them to the Volturi to ask about what would be done, and Jake told him to do whatever he wanted with them, experiments, target practice, he just asked for his memories of you to be erased." I whispered. She looked down at her lap.
"Is that why he sounded so reluctant when he found out I was alive?" She whispered. I was afraid to answer. I nodded slowly. She glowered down at the floor, her arms crossed. "I wish I would have known."
"I don't know why he's so…deeply loving towards the kids now." I whispered. She shrugged.
"Probably because he doesn't have to take care of them by himself. If I were to have died giving birth to them, he probably would have killed them off as well." She replied acidically. I looked at her hurt. Jake wouldn't have done that, I'm sure, he's just…he was just afraid, like I had been when I found out that I was going to be a father. I was happy, but I was terrified a the same time.
"No, Jake loves you, he was just…scared, that's all. He's always had a thought that he wouldn't be a good father, or husband. This is a completely new thing for him, but he wouldn't kill them because he's lazy." I replied. She looked at me, her blue eyes glistening in the moonlight.
"Seth?" She whispered. I looked at her, the hair on the back of my neck standing on end as I repeated the sound of her soft voice whispering my name inside my head.
"Yeah, Ella?" I replied. She smiled then looked down.
"Thank you for coming back, even if it was to kill me." My heart pounded in my chest. I looked down and nodded.
"Can I ask one favor? Although I know I don't deserve it." I whispered. She looked at me, her eyebrows furrowed.
"Yes, anything Seth." She whispered.
"Can you kiss me, one more time, this time, as single friends?" She looked at me shocked, then reached down and took the ring off of her finger. I removed my ring and held it tightly in my hand. Leaning forward, I pressed my lips against hers, her sweet taste making my tongue numb. I took the ring and slid it on her finger. She pulled away and looked at it confused.
"What is this?" She whispered. I smiled.
"Now you own my heart." I whispered. "And as long as that ring remains whole, and existing, I will always love you." She looked at me, a couple tears trickling down her cheeks. She smiled.
"I will always love you too, Seth Clearwater." I pressed my lips against hers one more time, this time as a goodbye kiss. One that hurt.
