A/N Hullo! Here's a longer chapter to make up for the time gap. Just a reminder that this fic dances the line between T and M so prepare yourself. As always, if you recognize it, it belongs to someone else.

I slump forward at the kitchen table. Darry had everyone up early this morning, and I know Soda didn't get any sleep, and even with the cold medicine I feel like I stayed up the whole night. I glance up at the kitchen clock, only 7:45. Darry sits down at the table, between Soda and myself, with two cups of chocolate milk and coffee for himself.

"Darry, what's going on?" Soda asks, sliding his glass back and forth across the table.

"I went down to the courthouse yesterday. They said if Pony isn't back by tomorrow night, that they'll-" Darry pauses, looking away from Soda and I. Soda and I share a look across the table, what is the social worker going to do? "That they are going to be forced to take Soda to a boy's home. No if, ands, or buts about it."

"They can't do that?!" Soda shouts, jumping out of his chair. "Can they?" Soda asks, his words wavering.

"I'm afraid they can little buddy. Unless Pony comes back, I'm seen as an unfit guardian, and even if he comes back, there's still a chance both of you would end up in a boys home." I was absolutely speechless. I knew this could happen, but I didn't even think about it. From the looks of it, Soda was just as speechless as I was. The three of us, we knew the score of the situation, that Darry walked a thin line in order to keep his family with him. That this would most likely be the straw that broke the camel's back. Soda slowly moved back to the table, sitting down again.

"What can we do?" Soda asked.

"I don't know little buddy, if Pony and Johnny come home, they're facing time, and who knows what else. And if they don't, they're safe from the state but-"

"But you lose me," Soda finishes.

"I'm sorry Pepsi-Cola, I just don't know what I can do at this point."

"It's not your fault," Soda says automatically. I try to form words, say something, do something to comfort them. But I'm frozen in shock. I never thought it would get so bad. Darry and I talked plenty about what Soda and Pony could do and couldn't do, and what we could do, and not do, to keep everyone together. It felt as if no matter what I did, awful things were still going to happen.

"Good morning Curtis family!" Two-bit shouts, entering the kitchen. Steve and D-him follow behind.

"What's going on?" Steve asks suspiciously, looking between Darry, Soda and I. I can imagine him trying to think of the worst thing that could've happen, but anything he could think up wouldn't be as bad.

"It's been a shit night, for everyone," Soda answers, but doesn't go on.

"Is everything-?" Steve asks before being interrupted by Soda.

"Hey, I think the DX got a new shipment of parts, we should go see if there's anything good."

"We don't get inventory on Wednesdays," Steve starts arguing, but stops, giving into to Soda. Steve and Soda were great like that, they were always able to talk to each other. I look at Darry, feeling the words, the courage to tell him, building up, but then he sits down at the table, and it all falls away.

"Catie, are you feeling alright, you haven't said anything all morning?" Darry asks. I give a small, fake smile, before looking away again.

"Maybe she's coming down with something," Two-bit says concerned, getting close to my face. No, no, can't happen, too close. I back away from the table, and leave the kitchen. Making my way through the house out onto the front porch I try to tell myself that I'm not running away.

"You alright babydoll," he drawls, stepping out behind me. I freeze, my heart racing, looking for an escape, but his hands are on either side of me, trapping me between the railing and him.

"Turn around for me babe, I want to see your face," He whispers. I shake my head, hands gripping the railing. I don't want to see his face, I don't want to see him. "Unless you want me to do it for you."

I slowly release the railing and turn around. I don't look at his face. I can't. Instead I stare past him, towards the door, willing anybody to come out. He leans closer in, and I can feel him.

"I need a favor," he drawls, "And we both know what's going to happen if you don't listen." I wait, not knowing what to expect. "Reach into my front pocket, and grab my smokes and lighter," I hesitate, unsure. "Now," he hisses. Hands shaking I reach down to the front pocket of his jean. "That's right," he groans, pressing himself closer to me. I fumble to get the cigarette and lighter out of his pocket, my hands shaking so bad I might drop them. "In my lips," he demands. I place the cig in between his lips, and fumble further with the lighter. Finally, it's lit, but he doesn't move away. I need him to get off of me, but I'm trapped.

"You ain't been yapping to anyone right?" he asks. I shake my head, as much as I want to tell someone, anyone, I can't. I have no one to tell. I've spent the last two years with Darry, his brothers, and their friends, and have lost any friends I used to have in highschool. There's no one. "Good," he purrs, "That means we can do it more. You know you're addicting right? I can't stop thinkin' about how you felt under me, the sounds you made for me. I need it again. Soon." Why? Why me? Oh God, what have I done. Why him? "Stick around baby, you're mine now." I'm shaking so badly now I can hardly stand. He walks away, back into the house. Suck it up Catie, I tell myself, trying to blink away the tears that were forming in the corners of my eyes. Shake it off, shake it off.

I move away from the railing, and sit on the steps of the porch. Maybe if I sit here long enough Pony and Johnny will return and everything will go back to normal. Maybe.

Soda and Steve return from the DX before I can be bothered to move from the porch. Soda walks right past, carrying on with his conversation, but Steve stops.

"Soda, you go in, I'll be there in a minute." Steve says. Soda nods, going inside.

"Is it still eating you up?" Steve asks, sitting down, lighting a smoke.

"Yeah," I manage to say.

"Safe yet?"

"No."

"How are the brothers?" Steve asks changing the subject.

"I-I don't know, did Soda tell you anything?"

"About him being shipped off to a boys home, yup. About Sandy, no. Evie did. I'm waiting for him to say something."

"He told me last night," I tell Steve, "I read the letter she left him, it was horrible. It was full of all the right words to tear Soda apart. This on top of Pony going missing, I don't know how he's still going," I tell Steve.

"Me neither, and he's somehow got the idea that he needs to protect you now, because some mysterious force has shaken you up."

"Steve, don't."

"I'm not, I'm not," Steve says raising his hands in defense, "But just remember, it's like domino's in your house, one of you start wobbling and you are all going to end up on the floor."

I shrug. I know how much this is throwing Soda, and Darry off. But it's not only me, it's Pony and Johnny too, there's a lot more going on then just me. We are all wobbling.

"Let's go inside," Steve says, standing up and stubbing out his cigarette. I stand with him, but I can't bring myself to go back inside.

"I think I'm going to walk around for a bit."

"You sure? Socs are still everywhere."

"Well, aren't you boys be setting up a rumble soon, there's no jazz before a rumble," I shrug.

"Shit you're right, we need to hold council."

"I know," I smile slightly before walking off. I n eeded to get away from the house for a bit. I head uptown, not completely sure where I am heading. I end up in the neighborhood I grew up in, but everything seems foreign now. It's not my neighborhood anymore. I make my way to the small park in the middle of all of the houses.

I sit down on the swings, thinking about all the days I spent in this park. I lost my first tooth over by the slides when one of the boys, Pete maybe, pushed me over in a game of tag. A few of us in elementary school decided that we would all sneak out and meet up in the park after dinner time. We hid under the slides and behind trees as our parents came out looking for us. I got grounded for a week for sneaking out. Some other kids weren't so lucky, and we never snuck out again. Until highschool, of course.

"Excuse me, miss," a voice breaks me out of my thoughts. Two little girls are sitting on the swings, trying to pump and get enough speed, but their legs are too short.

"Do you girls need a push?" I ask, getting up and going behind them before they can answer. I give the older one a push, then the younger one, sending them into a fit of giggles. I smile as I push them higher and higher.

The park is starting to get more busy now, it must be after lunch time. Some mom's are sitting on a blanket under the trees just like my mother used too. Some of the older kids are running around, playing a game they made up, while the smaller ones are sitting in the sandbox with their toys.

"Higher, higher," the girls chant, laughing. I comply giving them both big pushes. Their laughter brings one of the moms over, if it's theirs I can't be sure. It was always changing who brought the kids to the park when I was younger.

"Hello," the mom says.

"Oh sorry," I apologize stepping away from the kids. I must look insane, playing with kids I don't even know anything about. "They asked to be pushed, and well I couldn't say no," I explain, blushing.

"Oh it's fine dear, are you new around here? I haven't seen you around before."

"I grew up a few streets away-"

"Are you visiting your parents?" the mom asks. I forgot how nosey this neighborhood could be. Most greasers go by the 'don't ask, don't tell' philosophy.

"Um, I haven't decided yet," I tell her, knowing full well there's no way I will ever be stepping foot back in that house.

"I'm sure they are dying to see you, what being back from college and everything, I'm Nora by the way."

"Catie, and I didn't actually go off to college."

"Got hitched after high school?" Nora asks, laughing slightly, "That's what I did, this little one Jenny came along and surprised me and Henry. Really made us realize that we are raising a family. And now we're expecting again," She says rubbing her belly. Right, girl's my age are either in school or popping out babies. I have to force myself not to roll my eyes at her.

"Oh that's wonderful, congratulations," I tell her, hoping she can't hear the fakeness of my words.

"Are you expecting?"

"No."

"Oh don't worry, it took me and Henry what feels like forever to get pregnant after Jenny."

"Yeah, I think we're trying to save up, or something," I tell her, looking away. Save up, total bullshit. Save ourselves and life as we know it more like it.

"Jenny, go play with Heidi and Clarice, and ask Heidi's mom if she'll take you home with them when she leaves, okay baby?" Nora asks. The two girls nod before running away. "Catie, do you want to walk around a bit?"

"Sure," I agree, letting her guide me out of the park. We make our way through the rows of houses, and some of them I recognize as old hangout from middle school.

"Catie, is everything okay, you seem really upset?" Nora asks, sitting us down on the steps of one of the houses.

"I," I start, biting my lip. Should I tell her? I only just met her. But that could be perfect, she doesn't know about Darry, or the gang, or anything. "The last few days have been terrible," I start again. Nora waits, listening. "So. I live with my best friend, Darry, and his two brothers, their parents died a little over two years ago. But we also used to date, and I broke us up after his parents died, because too much was happening. We still live together, and fool around sometimes, but- Anyway Darry's younger brother and his best friend got wrapped up in that murder case, and we have no idea where they are, they've been on the run for five days now. I wish I could just find them and bring them back and tell them everything will be okay, but it might not be. Darry could lose custody of his two brothers, no matter what happens. And then we have this friend," say it, "D-Dally, he likes to try and see how far he can get with girls. And he likes to target me a lot. And last night, he-"

"You don't have to go on, sugar," Nora says, grabbing my hand in hers. I wipe away the tears that had managed to fall. I didn't want to keep crying. "Have you told anyone, like Darry?"

"I can't. I don't know why, but I can't. He'd hate me!"

"How can you be sure?"

"Dally was over this morning, they're friends. Everyone's friends with him."

"You think that if you tell Darry, that he's going to side with Dally?" I nod. "Well, I don't know your man, but I'm sure he won't kick you out. And it sounds like he could never hate you."

"But, it's like I cheated on him," I say before I can think about what I was saying. That's why I didn't want to tell Dar, guilt. I felt guilty, and if he knew, it would destroy him. And us. "He can't know," I whisper, mostly to myself.

"No. You can't think like that," Nora declares, breaking the silence. "That's not what happened. You didn't want to, you know, with Dally. You didn't cheat on your man."

"But that's what he'll think, if I tell him. That what everyone will think! Right?" I ask.

"Honey, I don't know your man, or his friends, but if he truly cares about you, he will listen to you."

"I'm sorry," I apologize, feeling bad for telling this practical stranger all of my problems. "I barely know you, and I'm expecting you to know the answer to these things."

"Don't apologizes," Nora says, waving off the idea with her hand, "And I'd like to think we're friends now. And I'll let you in on a secret. Henry and I moved here a few months ago, and I don't think a lot of these moms are too hot on me, you dig?"

"This neighborhood is bit, odd," I manage to say seriously before we both started laughing. This neighborhood was more than odd, everyone wanted to know everything about everyone, and then some.

"Oh you're telling me. The only reason Henry and I picked this house was that his great-aunt used to live here, until she passed, and he was able to snag the house. But wow, these women are something else."

"Oh the stories I could tell from growing up here, there was a new piece of gossip at every meal. And I'm sure for a long time I was part of it."

"Doll, who hasn't been part of the gossip ring. Speaking of which, I should go get Jenny, or the rumours'll keep flying," Nora says standing up. "Come with?"

"I should be getting back," I tell her, standing.

"Are you going to be okay?" Nora asks.

"I'm going to try, but I don't know. He's always there, and there isn't always someone there to stop him."

"I don't know what I would do, Catie. Maybe try talking to your man."

"He's so worried about Pony and Johnny. Maybe when they get back, and things get better."

"Like I said, I don't know you're friends. But if you need to get away, come find me. I'm always home or at the park. And we can laugh at these silly gossip mongers."

"You might be my life saver Nora," I tell her, giving her a hug.

"Don't be a stranger," Nora stresses.

"I won't," I agree, before leaving. I make my way out of the neighborhood, feeling slightly better. Someone listened to me, and believed me. And I had a friend that was not part of the gang, or a greaser, or from Tulsa. Someone new.

"Curtis!"

I turned around and spotted Tim pulling up behind me in his souped up car. Of course.

"Hey Tim," I greet, forcing a smile. Tim wasn't a good friend, but he was consistent. And that was rare with greasers.

"Wandering around the city again? Are you asking to get jumped?" Tim asks.

"Oh hush, I know you boys are setting up a rumble, and that means no jazz." I tell him, walking over to his car.

"Right you are, is Curtis showing at the council?"

"Which one?"

"You're shitting me right?"

"Not at all Shepard, which Curtis?"

"The eldest one."

"I doubt it, but Soda will most likely show."

"Are you going to show, like old times?"

"I have no way to get to the rail yard," I tell him. Honestly, I would be happy if I never went to another pre-rumble war council in my life. When we were in highschool, and a rumble was needed, all of the boys would meet up in the rail yard. There was almost a ceremonial feeling. They would arrange their cars in a circle, headlights pointing in. They would stand in the middle and fight over location, and weapons, and numbers. They would bring all of us girls along, and we would sit on the cars and watch. Part of it was a weird competition to see which side would bring more girls and better cars.

"Come with me, I'll give you a ride."

"I don't know Tim, is it anything like it used to be?"

"Hell no!" Tim laughs. "But I hear that some of the socs from the old day are back in town and ready to fight, so if Curtis isn't showing, you got to."

"I really shouldn't, we still don't know where Ponyboy is."

"Right, baby Curtis is on the run from the feds."

"Not the feds, don't say that."

"You never know Catie," Tim says, smirking. "You can't protect us greasers forever."

"I know, but I'm still going to try," I tell him. "Be careful at the council. I've seen Mark, Kenny and James already. I don't know if the twins will fight, but I'm willing to bet anything Mark will. And he doesn't fight clean."

"You sure you don't want to come?" Tim asks.

"I'm positive," I say, pushing away from the car, "Be careful Shepard."

"You too Curtis," he says before peeling away from the car. With the war council happening now the house should be mostly empty. I walk back to the house trying not to think of anything really. When I get back, Darry is sitting at the kitchen table, papers everywhere.

"Hey," I greet him, sitting down.

"Hey" he responds going back to the papers. Not just any papers, but it looks like his parents will. "Fuck," he exclaims after a few moments.

"Darryl, language," I scold automatically. I never liked how much these boys cussed, but there wasn't much you could do to change them.

"Sorry, sorry."

"What's wrong?" I ask, picking up the paper he threw down,

"They," his parents "never declared guardians, ever. No draft of the will or anything. Did everything else, who gets what car and what jewlery, but not who would get us."

"Let me see all of it," I ask. He collects the papers into a pile and pushes it across the table. I read through the wills, making note of the dates. "What about it this one, it's just after you were born, something about if anything ever happens you should go to Vincent Curtis. Who's that?"

"Dad's brother. But look at the next will, after Soda's birth, they retract that statement and never pick new guardians."

"Why don't I remember an Uncle Vince?"

"I never met him, none of us have. Mom only mentioned him once or twice."

"Do you still have Mom's old address book?" I ask, going towards our room.

"Yeah, it should be in there somewhere. Why?" Darry asks, not moving from the table. I go to the closet, opening one of the boxes we had shoved in the back. Near the bottom of one I find the address book. I bring it out to the kitchen.

"I know it's not a great solution, but we could try calling him. Maybe…"

"I don't know Catie, he must've done something to make Dad never talk about it. Dad wasn't a hateful man, he didn't not talk about someone unless there was a good reason."

"Well, let's find out the reason," I decide, going to the telephone. I leaf through the book, finding Vincent Curtis' page with a phone number and an address listed. "Me or you?" I ask, picking up the phone.

"I'll do it," Darry says, moving to the phone, "But you're staying here too," he adds before dialing. We keeps the phone between us, waiting for someone to pick up.

"'Ello?" a voice says from the other end. I jump a little, I wasn't really expecting anyone to answer, it was an old address book.

"Hello, is this Vincent Curtis?" Darry asks.

"Who this be?"

"My name is Darry-Darryl Curtis, I think my father was your brother."

"You think or you know sonny?"

"I know, you're my uncle."

"Well what do you what, money, a place to stay? Did your old man kick you out?"

"My dad, and mom, have been dead for over two years sir."

"Well damn."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault sonny, unless you were the one to kill them."

"No, no. They died in a car accident."

"Shame, your pop was a good man."

"My parents, when I was born, put in their will that you were suppose to be my guardian, should anything happen. But when my younger brother was born, they took that bit out. What happened?"

"It's not a long story sonny, I told them take me out. I could do one of you, fine, but more, no siree."

"Why did they never mention you?"

"I'm not quite a family man you see, I stayed in the service, unlike your pop who just did his time. I wasn't going to show up to birthday parties or Easter. And I wasn't settling down like your pop did. I wasn't a man they wanted around, Darryl made that clear, so I stayed away."

Darry looked over at me, mouthing, asking me what he should say. I gave him a look that I hope said asking him to take custody if things go bad.

"I took custody of my brothers, after the accident, but the courts weren't too hot on that idea. It's been two years, and I've been trying my best but it hasn't been easy. They're threatening to take my brothers away again."

"And you want to know if I'll take them in, even if you've never met me sonny."

"Yes sir."

"Have they taken you to court yet?"

"Not yet, but it might be going that way."

"I'll tell you what, your pops was a good man, a great man at that. You fight for your brothers, you fight tooth and nail, you hear me? And if the system is hell bent on breaking up your family, give me another call, and I'll come around. But listen, I don't want you to give up, you need to fight for them, and fight hard, once you lose your brother it's a hell of a lot harder to get them back. Trust me on that sonny."

"Yes sir. Thank you sir. I'll fight as hard as can," Darry says, grinning ear to ear. We had a plan, and a back up plan, for once since the accident.

"You do that sonny, you do that," Vincent says before hanging up.

"You're amazing Catie, one hundred percent amazing and brilliant and wonderful," Darry exclaims, picking me up in a hug.

"Darry, Darry, put me down," I say, pushing on his arms, "I can't breathe."

"Sorry," Darry shrugs, setting me down, "But you are amazing, brilliant and wonderful."

"Remember that always," I tell him, sitting down at the kitchen table. Darry joins me. "Why didn't I know your Dad was in the Military?"

"He got drafted into the Navy for the second War. Was on a boat somewhere off of Japan, didn't see much action. He did his time and got out."

"Drafted?" I ask, remember Kenny and James.

"Yeah, you know, we learned about this is Mr. Fierke's class."

"Did you know they start drafting for Vietnam?" I ask.

"That's just a rumour, I wouldn't worry about it. You know how those hippies like to cause problems."

"Kenny and James got letters. They leave on Sunday for basic."

"Is that what shook you up last night?" Darry asks. I shrug. I hadn't really thought about the draft. "Catie, you don't have to worry about any of us being drafted, the boys are all too young."

"I know, it's still scary. Think about all those boys fighting in a war we don't know anything about."

"Then don't think about it, think about what's happening now."

"I'm trying," I tell him. "Are the boys at the war-"

"Yes. I told them not to go, it's a stupid pointless fight."

"But you're still going to fight," I say. Rumbles made me anxious. Someone was going to get hurt, that was a given. But you never knew who, or how badly until afterwards. Time moved slower when Darry was at a rumble. When we were in highschool, I would sit at my bedroom window, refusing to talk to my parents, just waiting to see his truck pull up. I would sneak out of my window, run to the truck and make sure he was okay. He always had to be okay.

"You worry too much," Darry teases.

"I think I'm allowed to worry about all of you boys going out into some field and punching each other out until enough people fall over. It's barbaric."

"It's how change gets made."

"Now you just sound like a bad politician," I laugh. "I can't believe we found your uncle. Who knew?"

"I don't want to tell Soda, and I don't want you telling Soda either."

"What, why?"

"I don't want him to think I'm giving up on him. I not. I just need to make sure he doesn't end up in some godforsaken boys home. Family's better than nothing."

"I don't agree, I think Soda deserves to know." I argue, "He's not like Pony, he's known the score since day one."

"I know, I just don't want him to know. Not yet."

"Okay, I won't say anything, but I don't agree. He's not stupid."

"I never said he was, I just don't want him concerned about another thing. He acts like it's his duty to protect this family, like he needs to help out."

"That's just how he is, he can't help it."

"I know, I wish he could."

"Don't we all wish something was different."

"Catie."

"Darry."

"Friday night!" Two-bit shouts running into the house. The rest of the boys follow in, hooting and hollering, but stop when they see Darry and I staring each other off across the kitchen table.

"What's going on?" Soda asks moving into the kitchen.

"Nothing," Darry and I say at the same time. He grabs all of the papers off of the table, and I move to the fridge to look for food for dinner.

"They're talking in synch, something's up," Two-bit stage whispers.

"Nothing's up," Darry and I say again at the same time as Darry walks into the kitchen. I shoot him a small glare, he just shrugs.

"We should leave before they explode the house," Two-bit says, backing out of the kitchen.

"They ain't going to blow anything up," Steve says, walking into the kitchen and sitting down at the table. "Poker?"

"I'm down," Soda agrees, grabbing a card deck from the top of the fridge and sitting down.

"Deal me in," He says, joining them.

"Me too, beer?" Two-bit asks, grabbing three. Soda didn't drink, in the house at least. I pull out some ground beef and onions. Maybe I'll do a meatloaf with potatoes. I pull out the rest of the ingredients from the fridge and cabinets.

"Catie, tell Dally he can't smoke in the kitchen," Two-bit complains.

"You boys know my rule," I say without turning around.

"He's not listening," Two-bit adds.

"Are you boys really acting like children?" I ask turning around. No one says anything. "Dallas," I choke out, his name feels like wool in my mouth, "You know my rule, no smoking in the kitchen." Oh god, I'm in for it, I should of let it slide, why did I tell him off. I pale, turning back around.

"Maybe I like breaking the rules," Dallys says, stubbing out his cig in the sink next to me.

"You better watch out, or Catie's gonna whoop your ass," Two-bit jeers.

"I doubt she's going to be whooping anyone's ass anytime soon," Dally says, sitting back down. Shake it off, shake it off. Nothing to get worked up about, I tell myself. Focusing on the onions I was cutting. You are tearing up because of the onions, not Dallas.

"You ready to get even on the socs Superman?" Steve asks.

"What's the lowdown on this rumble?" Darrys asks, coming in, helping me with the potatoes.

"Our turf, just skins, no chains, blades, pipes or heaters," Dally drawls.

"Who's staying to eat?" I ask.

"Just Steve and me," Soda replies. "I fold," he adds. I pass Darry the right amount of potatoes to cut and put in the pot of boiling water.

"Some of your old football buddies were there, Mark, Derrick, and the other two, the twins," Two-bit adds.

"You didn't mention Mark was back in town," Darry's says, looking at me.

"I must've forgotten," I shrug, "Shoot!" I exclaim, dropping the knife I was holding. I'd somehow cut my hand instead of the celery.

"Let me see," Darry says, setting down his knife.

"No, no, you keep cooking, I got this," I assure him, going into the bathroom.

"Soda, go help Catie," Darry says as I walk out. I run my hand under the faucet, but this cut keeps bleeding.

"Catie, let me see," Soda says, standing next to me in the bathroom.

"I'm fine," I say.

"Let me see," Soda insists. I sigh, letting him grab my hand. The cut is across my palm, right under my fingers. "Were you trying to cut them off?"

"I just got distracted, I'm fine,"

"Let me bandage it up."

"I'm-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know you're fine, just let me but a band-aid on it."

"Fine," I sigh, sitting on the edge of the bathtub. Soda finds the first aid kit, pulling out some gauze, tape, and a disinfecting wipe.

"It's going to-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Just go ahead," I cut Soda off. He press the wipe onto the cut, and I flinch.

"Sorry, sorry," Soda apologizes, giving a sheepish smile.

"I'll get you back on Friday," I joke.

"I'm sure you will," Soda laughs. He finishes wrapping my hand in the gauze.

"I should go help with dinner," I say, standing up.

"He's fine," Soda shrugs.

"Soda."

"DARRY? You need help with the cooking or can I keep Catie hostage in the bathroom?!" Soda shouts.

"Soda," I say, whining slightly.

"I'm good!" Darry shouts back.

"Great," Soda grins, shutting the bathroom door. "Sit," Soda commands, pulling me down to the floor with him. "Hi."

"Hi Soda."

"What's up?"

"Nothing," I shrug.

"How was your day?" Soda asks, staring at me.

"What do you want?"

"I want to know how you're doing, because you're not talking."

"I'm talking right now."

"About, you know." Does he know? Oh no, Dally must have told everyone. Soda's going to tell me to leave Darry and get out of the house. "Catie, Catie? Catie, why do you look so scared?"

Everybody knows. Everybody knows except for Darry.

Everybody knows.

What am I going to do? I haven't made plans, I don't have any plans.

Soda's going to kicking me out of the house right now, and I don't know what I am going do. Where can I go? I need to go somewhere, right? I have no friends, or family. My parents hate me. Darry hates me. His brothers hate me. Everyone hates me.

I need to make a plan. Where can I go? Where can I go?

I have nowhere to go. Absolutely, no where to go. I'm going to be homeless. I'm going to be homeless and hated by everyone before my twenty-first birthday.

Everyone knows and they hate me.

"Catie?"

When did I close my eyes? I don't know. I can't tell. I open my eyes to see Soda staring at me. We are on the floor. Why are we on the floor again?

"Catie, please stop crying, please?" Soda asks.

Crying, crying, I was crying. I go to touch my face, but Soda is holding both of my hands.

"Catie?" I shake my head, trying to get my hands free, but Soda's not letting go. "Catie, look at me, please Catie."

I look up at Soda. We are both sitting on the bathroom floor, his back is against the door.

"Cate?"

"Soda, open up! I gotta piss!" Dally shouts, banging on the door. I shut my eyes again, on purpose this time. My heart starts beating faster and faster. "Soda!" Go away, Go away, go away. I can't breathe.

I tear my hands away from Soda's, placing them over my ears, blocking out the sounds around me.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

Breathe.

I know I need to calm down, but I can't. My heart won't stop flying, but I want it too.

I need to slow down. I need to slow down.

1,2 breath in. 3,4 breath out.

1,2,3,4. 1,2,3,4. 1,2,3,4.

I don't know how long I count, but it's until my heart isn't in my ears, and my lungs aren't on fire.

I should open my eyes, but a large part of me doesn't want to know what has gone on around me. A large part, very large part of me.

"Catie?" Someone asks. Darry, Darry I think. "Catie cat, can you please look at me?"

I open my eyes, I'm staring at my legs, crossed in front of me.

"Is she okay?" Steve, maybe, asks. A hand comes into my line of sight, Darry's hand. I grab onto it. I find Darry's other hand, so I'm holding onto to both. He grounds me.

"Catie, listen to me ok? We're going to move into the living room, there's more room there, okay?" I think I nod in response to Darry. I feel him lift me up, and I focus in on him and only him. I think we're sitting on the couch. I press my face into his chest, listening to his heartbeat, and trying to match it with mine.

"Darry?" Soda asks.

"I think she's going to be okay," I feel Darry say.

"What happened?" Steve asks.

"Soda?" Darry adds.

"I'm not sure. I fixed her hand, and then I asked her about her day. I wanted to see if she would talk about whatever happened yesterday, that has her all..."

"Does anyone have any ideas? Did anyone say anything at the council?" Darry asks while running his hands through my hair.

"Why does it matter? I bet she's just crying all the time for attention," he says. I cling to Darry just a little bit more. His voice makes me sick.

"Catie's not like that," Soda defends for me.

"Last night, she said something about it not being safe," Steve answers Darry's question.

"Safe? Why wouldn't it be safe?" Two-bit asks. Darry keeps playing with my hair, it's starting to make me tired.

"I don't know, maybe someone threatened her," Steve adds.

"She didn't look injured," Soda puts in.

"Besides that shiner on her face," Two-bit comments.

"She's just as jumpy as Johnny was," Steve says.

"Johnny is. It would only be was if Johnny was dead," Darry points out.

"Right, she is as jumpy Johnny," Steve amends.

"I don't see why we are making a fuss about this, if she wants to tell she will, and if she doesn't she won't," he says.

"She's scared Dally, no one deserves to be that scared, not when we can help her," Soda insists.

"You don't even know if you can help her. It's her problem, tough luck on her that something happened. We all have problems."

"Dallas, Soda, be quite, I think she's falling asleep."

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