Chapter 2: My confession

I ran across the yard, the ripping in my lower stomach painful enough to bring a Nubian God to his knees. But I couldn't stop. Dear sister, I had lied for you yet again. I hurt my family, I hurt my loved ones, yet, it seemed as if Grandfather didn't believe you. Mother hates me for real now. The pain from her glare feels like salt in my terribly tattered wounds. I collapse in the ring of trees. I can run no more.

I inhaled deeply, my body shuttering with pain. Why had I done that? Because I was weak. No one would have believed me anyway. No one ever believes the reject.

"I highly doubt we wouldn't have believed you." I whirled around. Grandfather was there, stepping through the bushes. He was so beautiful. "I'm flattered you think so, but I'm married."

"What do you want?" I whimpered, looking at him too long hurt.

"Why did you tell them that? Those lies?"

"I didn't lie"

"Yes you did, I saw everything. Your pain, I felt your fear, your pain, the hotness of your tears, your confusion, what that little brat said to you, the deceit." He sounded scarred. I snorted.

"I thought you couldn't read mine, my mothers, my sisters or grandma's mind." I questioned. He shrugged.

"I can't read your mothers, or Bella's, or Enli's, but it seems that when you've been around your other family members, such as Jasper, not only do you absorb his powers, but some component that allows me to read your mind as well. I don't know, but after you've been around our family members, I'm able to read your mind."

"At least until I lighten my load huh?" I questioned. He nodded. I snickered and shook my head. "I could read your mind too." I mused. He looked at me slightly shocked, slightly worried. I was curious now. I looked at him and could feel his power over me start to dissipate. A flutter of new thoughts came to my mind, but they weren't mine.

Is he going to start reading my mine? I should get away from him but I fear that if I head home I'm going to kill Enli. She's such a nasty little wench. Worse than Victoria. I don't trust her at all. I chuckled.

"Welcome to my life grandpa." He gasped. "Enli was always the favorite. The only one who ever paid attention to me was Eng, sometimes, he paid more attention to me than he did to Enli. Actually, it was more often than not. It was-"

"Emotionally distressing hearing her say he hated you." He finished. I nodded.

"I wanted to kill her, but," I smiled at him. I could see the way I looked through his eyes, through his mind. He felt pity for me, terrible amounts of pity, and I looked pitiful. "I can't, not with how Seth feels about her, I don't want him to hate me even more." I whispered. Another mind came in range.

He doesn't…want me to hate him? I looked up to see Seth coming through the trees, a hurt expression on his face. I pushed myself to my feet, my knees knocking together. "I'm leaving."

"Wait Moku," Grandpa stopped me, his cold hand on my arm. I couldn't take my eyes off of Seth, his beautiful figure coming through the trees, his face. Why did I feel like this? My heart started to race, started to pound like it did when I was being raped. My mind started to race with everything and anything to keep my thoughts of him away. Was he…mentally raping me? "Calm down Moku." My grandfather whispered beside me as Seth stepped through the bushes so that he was in our ring. My mind kept jumping around. The cold fingers on my arm tightened. I whimpered lightly and looked down. "You're making me dizzy." He chuckled lightly. I gave him a faint smile.

"Now you know how I feel." He looked at Seth.

"What do you want Seth?" He asked, his hand there acting as if it were keeping me up. I did feel like I was going to fall. I felt weak, hurt, like I was dying. My face looked destroyed from what I could tell through Seth's eyes. I nervously dragged my tongue across my ripped gums. Leaning over I spit what little bit of shattered teeth onto the forest floor with a mouthful of blood. I could sense the disgust inside of Seth's mind, as well as the pity in my grandfather's.

"I want to know why you said all of that. Do you know the danger you just got all of your own family in?" Seth snarled. I nodded.

"Yeah I know."

"He didn't really say any of that." Edward barged in. I glared at him, not understanding why he was shoving himself into my problems. Seth's expression changed.

"Then what did he say?" He carried on.

"I said all of that, He doesn't know what I did or did not say, he can't read my mind!" I pressed but Edward just shook his head.

"No he didn't, he didn't say any of that." Edward replaced. "Enli lied to you; she lied to all of us. That whole Moku telling her that we all hated her was a lie. She was the one who verbally attacked him and told him that we all hated him. She broke the tray over his head, she threatened to kill him after he made her lunch explode on her," Why was he defending me? "He didn't mean to make you hate him, and I know that you lied to him as well. You don't hate him, not for something so small as a kiss." My heart started to race. Seth didn't…hate me? "You don't know how awful he felt when he was being raped, how he felt before he was raped."

"Stop." I whispered. He did. "I don't want to relive this, and I don't want to be around people who hate me."

"Nobody hates you!" Edward snapped.

"Then I'll make you hate me so you let me go!" I snarled, pulling my arm away from him. He looked at me hurt. I ignored everything he was thinking, drowning it out with my own thoughts. But somehow Seth's kept coming to my mind. "I don't want to be with you, not if Enli is there."

"Enny is not that bad!" Seth howled.

"Pull your head from her ass then tell me what you think of her!" I growled.

"She's no where close to being as bad as you!"

"Of course you don't think that! She's a manipulating slime ball!"

"And you aren't?" I looked at him hurt. "You can force people to love you! How is that not manipulating?!" I shook my head slowly.

"You don't understand,"

"Oh I understand perfectly! You manipulate people to love you cause you're pathetic!"

"Seth stop."

"No! I manipulate people to love me because that is the only way I will ever be loved!" I cried out and fell to my knees. I had no more energy to stand. Edward dropped to his knees and rubbed my back. I gasped, the pain rupturing through my back.

"Seth, help me." Edward signaled him to us, but I shied away as he came to my side. "Let him help you." Edward whispered.

"We should get Carlisle." Seth barked. Edward shook his head.

"Not with how angry he was with him. It wouldn't be pretty." Edward leaned me forward and pulled up the back of my shirt. "Plus my knowledge in the medicinal field is just as good as his, let him rest his head on your shoulder, I'm going to need to see how badly he's ripped up." Seth nodded and moved in front of me. "Moku, push yourself to your knees and lift your bottom."

"No," I grunted as his cold hands grabbed my hips.

"Moku, you'll only die from blood loss."

"Good, then I won't have to worry about people hating me." He sighed heavily behind me and pushed me into Seth, forcing my hips up.

"Grab him and hold him Seth." Seth followed him like a frightened puppy, obeying his master. "No need to be thinking so negatively" I grunted as Seth's arms crushed me. A cold finger numbed me on the inside. I screamed and clenched my shattered teeth shut. My fingers curled around Seth's shirt, pulling.

"Bite me so that you don't dig your gums open any more." Seth barked. I hesitated, but listened. I clamped my mouth around his shoulder and more or less sucked then bit. He grunted. I was getting his shirt wet, but more importantly, I was choking on it. Reaching up he grabbed his shirt and pulled it down so that I had a clear path to his flesh. I started to suckle on it as the cold finger squirmed. When was he going to take it out? It hurt so much.

"Alright, you're torn pretty badly." He replied and took his finger out. I pulled my face away from Seth, leaving a small, glistening string of saliva from my tongue to the dark purple, blood splotched hicky on his shoulder. "Let me see your teeth."

"You're washing your hands first." I grumbled, turning around. He looked at the blood covered finger and nodded.

"Seth, open his mouth and try to remove the slivers of teeth while I go wash my hands." Edward instructed. Seth nodded slightly as my grandfather disappeared into the woods. We were alone. Me and the one I keep thinking of were alone, and with it, I could no longer read his mind. I sighed, but didn't open my mouth, and he didn't make any move to help me. He shifted so that he was sitting on his bottom next to me as I dragged my tongue across my tattered and torn gums. I again spat a mouthful of blood, and shattered tooth out onto the forest floor.

"I'm sorry." He whispered beside me. I looked at him through narrow eyes.

"why?" I asked dully, not understanding why he was suddenly so…kind. If that's what you'd call kindness.

"For everything that's happened to you." He replied, not looking at me. He was so…cute. I looked away and shook my head.

"Don't be, I'm used to getting the shitty end of the stick." I replied, looking off into the woods. He didn't say anything. A few moments pass and not one of us said a word. It was time for me to ask. "Seth?" I whispered, mirroring his soft, gentle voice, but mine came no where to being as perfect as his.

"Yeah?" He looked at me.

"You imprinted on Enli, right?" I asked. I couldn't look at him, instead I looked down at a cluster of fleeing ants. Behind the line was an injured one. None of them attempted to help him. I brought my thumb down on him, crushing him, ending his misery, like how I wish someone would have done for me. He sighed as I shifted, trying to find a comfortable position to sit.

"Yeah, I imprinted on Enny." He replied. He didn't sound too happy about that, or maybe it was just because he was talking to me about his private life.

"How-" I paused as I looked back at him. He was looking at me confused, waiting for me ask my question. "How does it feel? To-you know, to have imprinted?" I didn't know anything of the sort, how it felt, how you were supposed to feel when you had found that perfect one. He sighed, his eyes glazing over as a smile stretched across his face. He looked like he was happy.

"I can't stop thinking about her. No matter what, you can't stop thinking about that person, and you want to try all in your power to make that person happy, even if it means removing you from the picture." He replied. I looked away from him. Even if it meant…removing yourself from the picture? My heart pounded hard, leaving a wrenching feeling in my chest. He looked at me confused. "You ok? That heart beat sounded like it hurt." He teased. My heart wrenched again, causing my stomach to churn. I gasped and leaned forward, my forehead rested against a rock in the ground. "Dude, are you ok?"

"I love you." I whispered.

"What?"
"I love you! I think I imprinted on you, but how? I can't." I brought my hands up to my ears. How? How could I say that so easily? He didn't say anything, but I knew exactly what he was thinking. I knew what his expression must be saying. He stood up. "Seth! Please don't leave me!" I howled and turned, grabbing his arm. He pulled his hand away.

"That's sick! How? Why would you ever love a guy?" He snarled. My heart shattered, but his anger made his face look so sweet, so beautiful, and his anger made me love him, just that much more.

"But you said-"

"Guys can't imprint on guys you dolt!" He snarled.

"Why not?" I cried, grabbing his leg.

"Because it doesn't work that way!" He shoved me away. I fell back and hit the ground hard, pain sprinting through my body. He stomped away as Edward came in through the bushes. I looked away from him, hiding my face in my hair as I cried. Was I really…that much of an alien?