Shouting it seems like all we ever do anymore I can't even remember why we started fighting or what topic we are currently on, it feels like we argue over everything and nothing all at the same time. This isn't how I pictured things however I'm almost immune to the harsh words and endless criticism but the words that I just heard come from his mouth felt like a punch in the gut.

"I can't take this anymore I want a divorce!" He yelled exhaustion evident as he ran his hand through his light brown hair.

I stand motionless almost numb , is this real? listening to my husband of two years saying the words divorce; no one dreams of hearing those words and it hits me like a ton of bricks I never wanted to end up like my parents when I said forever that's what I wanted it to be. I think back to the breezy September day I met him, it was my third year at Columbia in New York I walked into a coffee shop and was instantly smitten with the charming and driven waiter working his way through medical school; kaleb. A year later at our favorite beach, the weather was warm but not hot and the sound of the ocean was calm and relaxing. I was stunned when he got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife I remember tears of happiness falling down my face and jumping into his waiting arms warmness flowing through my veins and a deep blush covering my body; it was one of the best moments of my life. two years later we promised each other forever for better or for worse. It was a beautiful ceremony at the vary same beach, it was September so it was a little colder but the breeze was marvelous I remember the feeling of it flowing through my hair with all our family and friends watching me like I was a princesses; it felt like a fairytale walking down that aisle dressed in white marrying a wonderful man and starting our life together out as one everything was going to be perfect just like that day. Yet here we are two years later standing in our immaculate house that we made our home, a home that from the outside looked like the vary dream I envisioned in my head when I said I do but inside I suppose this house wasn't really a home anymore and in this moment our dreams and promises are crumbling in a million pieces like the shattered glass of the picture frame lying broken on the floor the picture inside scratched but I can see our smiling faces on our wedding day mocking me.

"wh-what?" I stutter looking into the blue eyes I thought I'd look into forever in utter disbelief.

"We aren't happy Clare, we both know it we can't keep forcing something that just isn't there I'm tired of fighting"

As much as I want to disagree I know he's right, we aren't in love and I honestly don't know if we ever really were. I think we may have been in love with the idea of being in love or just feeling of love even if it was an illusion, but we made each other happy. When we met we had both gotten out of nasty break ups and needed someone we needed to feel needed, cared for we gave each other that. Our marriage has been rocky and I think deep down I always knew this would come but I didn't want it to I wanted magic I wanted our marriage to somehow become the fairytale it was supposed to be. Why now? Why does he want to end this now. This was just one of our usual fights not something that would cause him to throw in the towel.

"maybe you're right maybe we aren't happy maybe it was never right, but why now? You owe me that much." I was not asking It I was demanding it but by the regretful look in his eyes I can tell I'm not going to like the answer.

"Clare…" he says his voice soft and sorrowful cause my heart to skip a beat something's off.

"don't Clare me. Why! Why now kaleb? Tell me!" I respond bitterness in my voice.

"It's Melanie; we've… we've been sleeping together and she's pregnant I'm sorry Clare I never meant to hurt you or end things like this" I feel my stomach drop I'm stunned by his confession I almost didn't notice him reaching to touch my hand but the moment I did I pulled away I never want him touching me again the thought of it makes me sick.

"don't touch me! Don't you ever touch me again. I can't, I can't. I have to go" I could feel the air getting caught in my throat it felt like the room was closing in and i need to get out of this god forsaken so I grabbed my purse not concerned with anything else and race out the door hearing more pictures falling of the wall and shattering on the floor like my life. The tears falling from my eyes tonight are certainly not ones of happiness they are tears of despair.

I can't believe he did this to me Melanie his ex girlfriend the one he broke up with right before we met the one that cheated on him with his best friend. Him cheating on me with her for God knows how long. That alone is painful enough but he's having a baby with her that kills me. He wanted to be a father so bad we tried to have a baby for a year and I couldn't conceive month after month appointment after appointment all the best doctors but always the same result a negative line on a plastic stick. Maybe that's what gave him the final push from me and into her arms. If i could have just gotten pregnant maybe we could have lived in denial forever. After all who wants to be married to someone who's broken. I'm broken I should be able to give my husband a child but I don't think I'll ever get pregnant again...

I can't keep my thoughts from wandering to the baby I lost in high school. What he would look like who he would be. Would he have my eyes and his father's wit, or his father's looks and my focus and drive. He would be eight right now. Things could have been so different; no should have been so different than this. I should have my son if losing him wasn't enough punishment the fact that I may never have a baby is certainly more than enough to break me down. There's only one person I need right now and he's probably the last person I should see I haven't so much as even spoken his name in give five years after everything I couldn't bare it but I don't care anymore I need to see him.

I arrive and begin to make my way down the hall of the apartment building I know like the back of my hand even after all these years, i shake my head thinking about all the late night make out session against every wall because we just couldn't keep our hands off each other. That memorable time that a sprained my ankle during an extremely heated one while way to intoxicated almost makes me laugh i can still see the terrified look on his face. I head straight for the door that held the place i used to call home as fast as I can get there before my brain starts working or i lose my courage and turn back around. Upon reaching the door I take a deep breath feeling my heartbeat speed up as I begin knocking on the door. Moments later I'm met with the familiar green eyes i haven't seen in so long.

"clare?" He questions furrowing his eyebrows his voice sounding scratching like it always does when he's tired or first wakes up in the morning but the shock is still clear as day.

"Eli" I force out with a shaky voice before losing composure, tears start pouring out of my eyes like rain in the Amazon forest and I feel my legs wanting to give out. Not because my husband was cheating or because my marriage is over or even because of the idea I may never have a baby but because I can't believe I went so long without looking into those breathtaking green eyes the connection is still there strong as ever it's so intense it feels like someone's set my body on fire. I feel Eli wrap his arms around me and another feeling comes over me, inhaling his scent and feeling the warmth of his body and love in his embrace; I feel like I'm home for the first time in a long time.