Authors note- sorry this chapter is a bit short and I took so long to update but I've had a lot going on recently and regretfully haven't had as much time to update routinely anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter feedback on the comments is great and sorry for any errors I didn't get a chance to edit.

"Clare?" Eli's groggy voice interrupts my peacefulness. I have no idea what to do…

"Ye-yeah" I stutter unsure of how to respond.

"Is something wrong?"

"No i just couldn't sleep and i didn't want to be alone, I can go back out there with you want. I'm sorry" I apologize as I begin to get up only stop be stopped by Eli's hand on my wrist.

"You don't need to be sorry or leave you're fine stay here with me" He speaks softly while pulling gently on my wrist so i lay back down beside him.

"Thank you again Eli, I really missed this and you"

"Me too, more than you know.

I sigh cuddling into his chest once again enjoying the familiar comfort he gives we lay there quietly for what could have been minutes or hours time wasn't on my mind, I look up at Eli noticing he's looking down at me with a look of adoration I miss the way he used to look at me like this all the time. Suddenly a need for him comes over me and before I have a chance to think about it I learn up locking our lips together.

If my abrupt action caught him by surprise he didn't show it, he kissed me back without a moment's hesitation and the way he kissed me was like nothing had changed. I could feel all the same emotions I always did in his kiss; love, desire, need. His kisses have always been passionate weather they were slow and sweet or urgent and lustful It's something i could never forget, this kiss is somewhere in the middle.

As things pick up pace and our hands start to slowly roam each other's bodies i know I have a choice to make do I want this to go further? If I wait any longer I'll be so lost in Eli's touch it won't be a decision it will be an impulse. On one hand I know having sex with Eli isn't the smartest choice things with us have never been easy and sex tonight would surely cause a complication. I'm not sure how either of us would feel in the morning, would one of us regret it? Or maybe both?

On the other hand it's not like it's something we haven't done before so should it really matter all that much? Can't two adults have consensual sex with their ex without strings and complications besides that even if Eli and I can't be together I know we both still care about each other and on some level even still love each other and the way he's kissing my next is certainly helping this side.

After what I've been through tonight do I really need to be rational? I think I deserve to just feel good and this with Eli right now feels good. I decide to forget about the repercussions this could bring tomorrow and give into the temptation with my mind made up I trail my hands down to the top of Eli's pajama bottoms and begin pulling them down

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks between the kisses he's peppering on my neck. If I'm going to back out now is my chance.

"Yes" I moan quietly. After that things picked up quickly and I never considered changing my mind.

Now we're laying in Eli's bed quietly he's holding me closely and my holding on to him as tight as I can as if the tighter I told the slower this night will go. I know tomorrow morning things we be different. My marriage is over, I'm talking to Eli again and we will have to pretend this what just happened never happened; we can't be together.

I don't know if I should feel guilty for not making that clear to him before things went as far as they did but, for all I know he could feel the same way i do or the complete opposite we didn't exactly end things because he wanted to as a mutual understanding we got I left and never came back after a particularly ugly fight over something I hating thinking about. I just hope neither of us regret this in the morning because with us you never know what to expect, this could either blow over or be a huge deal.

As I'm drifting off to sleep i swear I hear him whisper I love you before I feel sleep overtake me.

I wake up to the sound of cars riding past, I sit up holding the sheet over my makes body taking in the room; Eli's room so last night wasn't a dream it was reality I'm really getting a divorce my husband is really having a baby with his ex-girlfriend that he had been having an affair with for God only knows how long and I handled it by running into the arms or should I say bed of my ex-boyfriend who i never really got over. This can't be my reality I think as I feel back against the bed with a sigh. Way to go Clare; way to go.

I notice Eli isn't in the bed next to me so maybe he's gone he did say he had somewhere to be in the morning, wait; what time is it anyway? I look around for a clock my eyes falling upon on on the tv stand it's two o'clock! Wow. I quickly get up throwing my clothes on hoping to get out without having to confront Eli if I can avoid that for now it would be great i can just text him about it later today or maybe tomorrow.

Once I'm dressed I walk out of Eli's room relieved there is no sign of him he must still be gone. I head towards the door when I hear his voice calling my name from the bathroom, great spoke to soon. I turn around on my heels and meet his eyes.