Another Opening, Another Show
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Launchpad and I were hosting the opening of a new movie. It had been filmed in Duckburg and since part of the profits was going to charity, Launchpad and I had done stunt flying for the movie and had done bit parts for the movie. Launchpad played a pilot who chased after me, who played a lady pilot. (1) In the original script, I was supposed to reject him, but since there's no way I could reject Launchpad, I asked if they could please change that. Since they saw that Launchpad SOLD and THEY weren't a bunch of stubborn control freaks, they actually did so in order to make more money.
"Of course we could STILL make money by being stubborn and insisting on doing things our way...but we can make MORE money this way and it doesn't make a bit of difference to us which way we do it, why should we be silly?" They asked.
While we were greeting people, Magica DeSpell came up in a blond wig, disgusted as the lead actress in the movie.
"She's GOT to be kidding! I think I'll have some fun with her and pretend like I don't know who she is! I want to know what she's up to! " Launchpad said to me.
"Just remember you're married to ME." I replied.
"Magica's ugly!" Launchpad said.
"A lot of guys have this thing about evil women..." I began.
"A lot of women have a thing about evil men! YOU have more sense than that and so do I!" Launchpad replied.
And Launchpad greeted "Starrett" like she was the real McCoy. The funny thing was that nobody else noticed she was a fake, maybe because they had never seen Starrett in real life, just in the media.
()() She's wearing a wig! Can't they tell? Wait, how do THEY know if the REAL Starrett wears a wig or not?()() I thought.
"Starrett" came on to Launchpad, which was a mistake, the REAL Starrett barely acknowledged Launchpad's existence because he has no money. There are women like that. And men who try to buy a women's love will find them.
"Starrett" TRIED to rub her hands on Launchpad's chest. Not trusting her in the slightest, Launchpad backed up. "Starrett" took advantage of him being off balance to reach up and cut a few hairs(2) off of Launchpad's head with a scissors.
I've read enough books about magic to know witches can enchant "people" with the victims' hairs". I jumped on "Starrett and screamed:
"Get your hands off of my Launchpad"
and tried to grab the hair.
"Too late!" yelled Magica.
Magica dropped her disguise and she turned Launchpad into a vulture with Launchpad's head.
"Hah! Scrooge McDuck will suffer, seeing his friend forever cursed and being unable to help him!" Magica crowed.
Launchpad/vulture grabbed Magica in his talons and flew off with her to a nearby lake.
"How can you fly? You shouldn't know how to fly with wings!" Magica asked.
"Actually, I did so once before. Twice, if you count the pair I built."(3) Launchpad replied.
And he hovered over the lake and shook Magica until she dropped the hairs. But Launchpad was still enchanted.
"Why am I still cursed?" Launchpad asked.
"Fool! You won't change back unless I change you back- and I won't!" Magica said.
"Change me back!" Launchpad screamed.
"You'll fall!" Magica laughed.
"That's why I'm hovering over that lake! It'll break my fall and I can swim!" Launchpad replied. "Change me back or..."
"Or what? You'll drop me? I can levitate, fool!" Magica sneered.
"I'll crush you with my talons!" Launchpad said.
And he squeezed.
"OUCH! Never! You're too soft-hearted to REALLY hurt me!" Magica replied.
Launchpad was afraid she might be right- he might have to torture Magica to get her to change him back! Could he do that? Could he live with himself afterwards if he did?
"Launchpad! Pluck a hair from Magica's head and don't give it back until after she changes you back!" I yelled.
(It had taken me awhile to catch up with them. I was on foot and Launchpad had flown there.)
"Good idea!" Launchpad yelled back.
Ignoring Magica's "NO!" Launchpad did so.
"You don't know how to use it!" Magica said.
"I could always give it to Morgana." Launchpad replied.
"OK, OK, I'll change you back. No tricks." Magica sighed.
"Witches' honor? You won't try to hurt me?" Launchpad asked.
"Witches' honor! I won't try to hurt you." Magic promised.
Launchpad landed and Magica changed him back. After taking inventory to make sure he was intact, Launchpad handed Magica her hair back.
"I am NOT your enemy. Mr. McDee would not be your enemy if you stopped trying to steal HIS Dime. You have YOUR magic. Why can't that be enough for you?" Launchpad asked.
"I will have that Lucky Dime, someday!" Magica vowed.
"I will stop you, if I can." Launchpad replied.
Then Magica TRIED to throw some sort of curse at Launchpad, forgetting she had promised on her witches honor not to hurt him if he gave her back her hair. I think she had assumed he wouldn't do so. But since she broke her witches honor, her magic turned against her and poof! she was gone. To whatever fate she had wished on Launchpad.
"My, people come and go so quickly around here!" I said, kissing Launchpad.(4)
The End
(1)Idea based on two Ducktales stories from Duck Tales avventure di paperi - TV Comic Magazine # 7 - "Lovelorn Launchpad" and "Birds of a Feather" or rather on a scan of them on the inducks.
(2) I THINK the "hairs" on Launchpad's head are actually red feathers, some of them crest feathers. I'd love to find out for sure!
(3)"Down to Erth" and "Transfowlers" by Me.
(4) "The Wizard of Oz" is my favorite movie. The books are better. Except for "The Tin Woodsman of Oz". Baum's notion that people in Oz could be cut into pieces and each piece live was a notion that made me violently ill.
