AN:

JK: This is a present for cippy-hime, who I'm indebted to for her lovely pictures. Speaking of pictures, I have another lovely lady who contributed. deingcity on DA drew the chibis! And they're ADORABLE!! Thanks again, dah-lihn!

To MasterTabby - Hunh? What? Little more specifics, mmkay?

Current chapter contains: Spanking/Mild ItaDei

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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Dei-

How's the mission coming?

-Ita

Ita-

Real good, un! I'll be back later tonight!

-Dei.

Good! I really miss you.

I miss you, too, un.

"Itachi?" Kisame broke the silence in their room. "Itachi, why do I hear clicking?"

"No reason..." Itachi never took his eyes off the text message that appeared in his inbox.

g2g, man. The 'parental unit' is up my ass.

ttyl, Ita!

"Itachi! Are you texting again?"

"Yeah."

"Don't go over your limit."

"I won't."

-A few days later-

Kakuzu looked at the bills he had to pay in disgust. So much wasted money! He cringed when he saw the phone bill. God knows what Itachi and Deidara had been doing. Upon opening it, he screamed.

-Later-

"Itachi-kun..." Kisame called up the stairs. "Deidara? Get down here."

"Yea?"

"Yes, un?"

"Explain." Kisame held up the phone bill.

"Did I go over the texting limit?" Itachi asked.

"Yes. Both of you. By at least 300!!"

"E...ow..."

"And you went over minutes, as well!"

"How many...un...?"

"Uhm...let's see..." Kisame looked down the paper. "Uhm...You talked 240 minutes over."

"Oops." they both looked down.

"'Oops' is an understatement." Kisame sighed. "Alright, boys...you know what I have to do."

"W...What about Danna, un?" Deidara whimpered fearfully.

"Not here. I'll handle you both." Kisame sighed. "Upstairs. I'll get this straightened out with Kakuzu."

Itachi and Deidara pouted, but were up the stairs after a warning look.

-Upstairs-

"Oh, man...We're so dead, un!" Deidara panicked.

"Don't worry, Dei..." Itachi tried, but to no avail. Deidara was panicked. They both jumped when the door opened.

"Boys-" Kisame began, but was cut off when Deidara hugged him around the waist. "Wha-?!"

"I'm sorry, un!!" the blonde wailed.

"Dei...Dei, calm down..." Kisame soothed. "Dei...I'm going easy, okay? I've talked it out with Kakuzu. I know you two miss each other, but this has to stop, understand?"

"Yessir..." Itachi answered.

"Uh-huh..." Deidara whimpered, muffled by Kisame's jacket.

"Okay, then. Itachi, corner. Dei, you're going first, okay?" Kisame patted Deidara on the back, who could only nod as Itachi slowly retreated to 'his' corner.

"'M sorry!" Deidara whimpered.

"Shhhh..." Kisame gently took him to the bed and guided him over his knee. "Hold still, okay?"

"I...I'll try, un."

"Good boy." Kisame said gently. "Fifteen, okay?"

WHAP!

"Oww!!"

"Hold still..." Kisame murmured softly, stroking Deidara's hair. He landed about nine more before Deidara began crying.

"Stooop!" he wailed.

"Five more..." Kisame assured him, landing two more. Deidara howled. "Oh, Dei...I'm sorry I have to do this right after Sasori..."

WHAP!

"...but better me than him, right?"

WHAP!

"Last one."

WHAP!

"All done." the shark-nin stroked his hair comfortingly. "Go change with Itachi, okay?" Whimpering, Deidara switched with Itachi, who obediently, but hesitantly, came over.

"Yea...?" Itachi began. Kisame quickly hauled him over and landed three sharp smacks. "Ow!!"

"Itachi, we've discussed this before..."

WHAP! WHAP!

"And you told me you weren't over your limit."

WHAP! WHAP!

"No more, okay? We'll switch plans, if that's what you want-" WHAP! "-but no more going over your limit."

WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!

"Understand?"

WHAP! WHAP!

"Owww! Yesss!!" Itachi wailed.

"Good."

WHAP!

"You're done, then." Kisame gently rubbed his partner's back. "Deidara, come back over here."

Deidara turned to see Kisame lift Itachi to sit on his lap. He slowly walked over.

"C'mere, Dei..." Kisame drew Deidara down as well, cuddling both of them as best he could. "Awww...there, there...all's forgiven..."

Seeing an opening, Itachi held on to both Kisame and Deidara, who did the same.

(Well...I guess I can kind of thank Kisame for this...) Itachi thought, snuggling closer. Kisame smiled at them both.

"Shhh...calm down...shhh..." he soothed. It didn't take long, after all, Kisame is a professional by now, for them to calm down and fall asleep. He grinned, swiftly dressed them for bed - after a trip to Sasori's room - and put them in bed. He went downstairs for only a few minutes, but when he came back up, they had moved and were snuggling in their sleep.

"...Cute..." Kisame smiled.

--

AN:

JK: Well, I'm out for now! See yah!