I sit in my room and read for most of the day, slowly making progress on the books and updating my note binders. It's an excellent way to memorize concepts, and there's no harm in doing so.
The actions of this morning take up most of my thoughts, though. Was what I said the right thing to do? I just want them to stop, stop fighting. For two so evidently intelligent people I can't understand why - why something like that would even have to happen.
I guess…I guess that I'm not quite beyond…that fear…
If you spend all your time being sad and angry, you'll never find the energy to be happy.
I sigh.
Three years my junior, and yet she teaches me more than I could ever teach her.
Without her, where would I be now? Dead, probably. But even if I had resisted the urge…I don't think I would have been in a good place…
She kind of reminds me…
That girl…reminds me, just a little bit, of Misha.
I wonder how she feels about all of...this. Misha. Not really understanding what's happening around her, almost completely ignorant to the asperity in the air until it was practically shoved into her face. Just a conduit.
Heh. My mentor is still a little bit like that, but that doesn't make her any less intelligent.
I shake my head. She also taught me to focus on what was in front of me, so I will.
I wonder if they'll pity me. I hope not. I might not even have friends come tomorrow, but...that's alright. It's not something I'm unused to...
It does occur to me that I didn't explain to them the nature of my disease. Do they think I'll be dying any time soon? That's something I should apologize for.
At least now I understand a bit more about the - level - of their relationship.
Pride. It all revolves around pride. Shizune initiated it, true, but pride is what kept them both going for as long as they did. I still don't understand why Shizune brought me into it, but I do not think she will make that mistake again.
Some time after the final bell rings, someone knocks on the door. I get up, my leg still acting weird, and open the door.
When I see who it is, I almost shut the door again. But I'm not mad any more, just tired.
"Yes?" I ask Misha, who looks genuinely sorrowful. Even Shizune looks truly apologetic.
"We are...sorry." Misha says, bowing in the hallway. Shizune does so too, a deep respectful one.
I'm taken aback. I would have expected Shizune to be mad a while longer, not...this. She does looks sorry, though. I step back into my room, leaving the door open, and drop onto my bed in a sitting position. The girls follow in, clearly waiting on an answer, though they can't help but look around.
"It's...okay. I forgive you." I say, almost hesitant, but relieved.
Because there's no pity in any of their faces, or their eyes. The apology is purely for their transgressions.
Misha opens her mouth, presumably to dispute, so I interrupt. "Really, it's okay. I know you and Lilly are unlikely to stop fighting, but..." I pause, trying to figure out what I want to say.
"Fundamentally, you are all good people." I say. "Disagreements in how you think isn't a very good reason to practically hate each other."
Shizune quickly signs something, Misha translating. "I don't hate Lilly."
"Maybe not." I reply. "But that's not what it looks like to me. That's certainly not how Lilly feels, I'd imagine. You can disagree with her; I know you will. But please try to let up a little on her."
There is a long pause while Shizune considers this.
"I understand. I may not entirely agree with everything you have said, but I understand. I will think about this." I smile.
"That's as much as I expected." I say, nodding. "And, in case you were wondering..."
Am I really okay with this?
"I'm not going to die anytime soon, I don't think. My condition isn't very volatile, but it is somewhat fragile. I injured my leg today because I ran too much." Upon hearing this, Misha brightens noticeably, beaming with her usual spark.
"That's good, Hicchan, really." Misha says, her usual lilt returning. "I was worried!" Shizune has something else to add on the matter, though, obviously curious.
"Ran too much?"
"Yes. I can't feel pain or temperature. Most of the time, you would think that's good, but it means I can't judge when I get hurt or when I get really tired, and it leads to stuff like that." My tongue would know. A small chunk of the tip will forever be missing. I have to constantly watch for that; it's a good thing I still maintain my proprioception, or things would be infinitely worse.
"That sounds really dangerous, Hicchan. But you are okay?" Misha asks. I nod.
"As good as I'll ever be." I say, a tiny touch of bitterness behind it. Misha doesn't notice and Shizune can't. "I'm fine, though, really. I'll be back at school tomorrow; the official excuse is that I hurt my leg as a result of my condition and have been instructed to take it easy. I went to the Nurse, he's let me go for today."
"I understand. I will leave you be for now, and I expect to see you in class tomorrow. I've brought the material you missed, so you can work on that." And Shizune's back, too. I grin.
"Thanks, Shizune. I really appreciate it." The girl in question looks temporarily flustered before regaining confidence, nodding curtly and exiting my room.
Silence reigns once more. I stare thoughtfully at the closed door for a while longer, before slowly shaking my head.
That isn't how I expected anything to go, but it really was the best case scenario.
Anyways, that's over and done with. Hm...
I think I want to go watch Rin paint, again. It's easy enough on the legs. My left one has been growing increasingly unresponsive. I guess I hurt it more than I thought I did. I'll be sure to check in with the Nurse after I visit Rin.
I lean over and grab my crutch. I had asked for one as a precaution, and it looks like this is necessary, now. It annoys me, but there is nothing I can do about it. I open the door and walk out, heading down to where the mural is.
Rin is there, unsurprisingly. She's sitting on an upturned box, looking intently at the wall she is painting with a brush held between her toes. The mural has progressed considerably since yesterday but it's still only half-done as far as I can tell. More colors have appeared and the twisted human-like figures have multiplied and spread.
The style is quite eye-catching and very unique. Far more abstract than any painting I've ever seen before. I clear my throat to get her attention, but not startle her so that her concentration won't break.
"Wait." She doesn't even turn to see who it is.
Okay, I'll wait. I sit down and admire the sight of Rin painting with her feet, setting the crutch between us.
...
Fifteen minutes later I decide that her concentration is unbroken, and also that I have waited long enough to warrant poking her gently on the shoulder to remind her of my presence.
"Oh, it's Hisao." Her gaze pans down slightly, staring at my crutch. "Hm."
"Good guess." I say, smiling once more. "Hard at work, I see."
The conversation starts as if I hadn't been here for a quarter of an hour already, but it's not a concern. At least it starts.
"I would tell you that it looks good, but I suppose that you subscribe to the theory-"
"Seven years of bad luck." Rin confirms.
"If I tell you that it looks good twice, will you get seven years of good luck, instead?"
"Don't be silly. That would give me fourteen years of bad luck." I grin slightly at the idea of Rin, of all people, telling me not to be silly.
"Sounds terrible. I guess I'll take it back, then." Rin shrugs before poking at a spot of her painting with her big toe.
"Could you mix some of this color? I am running out of it." She looks down at a nearly empty bowl with the remains of the same pinkish paint in it.
"Okay." I get to work while Rin picks up another brush, selecting a different color. There are dozens of bowls all around her working area. From the looks of it, she could have been sitting here for hours. She probably skipped school to do it, then. I wonder if she has special permissions to, much like I imagine Hanako has.
Oh, no. Hanako. I haven't seen her, and couldn't tell her Lilly was looking for her. Hm...
I guess there isn't much I can do about it now. Lilly has almost certainly found Hanako by now, or vice-versa.
"Speaking of hard work, isn't this a huge workload for you already? It's such a big project." Rin smiles, oddly.
"Oh, I'm not old and bitter enough yet to think like that. Legs hurt though. They feel like slugs. Slugs made of sea slugs." She stretches herself a little, bending her legs and back far more than a human should flex. It's astonishing how effortlessly she manages her body around.
There is a small flinch in her otherwise blank expression - a hint of pain maybe - as she stretches out her calves.
That can't be a comfortable position. If she's been painting like that for hours...
Rin must have stamina and dexterity far above a normal person to be able to live like she does, but she's wearing out working on this.
"Why push yourself so much? Take a break or something at least. You'll hurt yourself, like me." I tap the crutch resting next to me.
She considers this for a while, placing her brush back into a bowl.
"I'm not pushing myself." She states.
"I thought so too, but look at me now." I stretch my left leg out to a more comfortable position. "Won't be able to run for a while, probably."
"Like Emi, when she's pink." Rin says, suddenly.
"Emi? You two know each other?"
"I think so. I'm pretty sure." Well, that's interesting. I have no idea what she means about the whole pink thing, but I suspect I wouldn't gain any understanding even if I did ask.
I watch for a little while longer, the sun steadily falling out of the sky, occasionally mixing paint as requested.
"I'm going to go now, Rin." I say, easing myself to a standing position. I'm not entirely sure if she notices.
"Take a break sometime, though, before you hurt yourself." I add, before limping off to the Nurse's office.
...
"Well, Nakai, it looks like you have a minor thigh strain."
"Aw...crap." I mutter, annoyed. He gives me a look.
"Now that you know where your limits lie, I hope you'll be more careful. You should've told me that you suspected you had a strain or sprain, too." I wince. I really didn't want to be put in a wheelchair.
"It's not that bad, so I won't need to put you in a wheelchair. The crutch you're using will suffice. I can prescribe you some meds to fetch from the pharmacy; those will help your inflammation somewhat. Otherwise, you're mostly on your own. Don't walk on your leg if you can avoid it, ice it when you can, compression, and elevation. You've had this kind of stuff before, so I expect that you already know everything I'm saying?"
I nod.
"That's all, then. I don't think you need to come in more than you already have been doing, but please come in if you think your injuries have gotten worse." The Nurse shakes his head. I stand up, snagging my crutch.
"Got it." I say tiredly, waving a goodbye before heading back to my room, intent on sleep.
