Jessica's heart sank as she held Natalie's hand, sitting by her side and watching her struggle to keep her composure.
"What happened?" Jessica prompted gently.
"I don't remember," Natalie admitted. "I was about six months, and I had just started getting used to the idea of a baby. I'd starting feeling her moving and…"
"Her?"
Natalie shook her head. "I don't know why I said that," she said. "It's just a feeling, I guess. I never had an ultrasound or anything, just that one visit at the clinic where they heard the heartbeat."
"Do you remember giving birth?" Jessica asked.
"No," Natalie said. "Like I said, I think I was six months pregnant, and I was living in this awful shelter but it was the only one that would take teenagers without asking questions. I started having these really bad pains in my back overnight. I asked the guy who manned the door if I could go to the hospital, but he said if I left in the middle of the night, I couldn't come back. I didn't have anyplace else to stay, so I figured maybe if I went to sleep, it would go away."
"Oh Natalie," Jessica sighed. "That's awful."
"When I got up in the morning, my bed looked like I'd wet myself, except there was blood," Natalie continued, her voice cracking slightly. "One of the other girls made them call an ambulance. I remember the medics being really mad that I didn't know exactly how far along I was. I didn't need them to tell me, I knew it was my fault, I knew something bad was happening and it was my fault. I know I got to the hospital, I remember being in a room there waiting for the doctor, and that's it."
"That's it?"
"The next thing I knew, I was waking up in London," Natalie said. "Everything in between is gone. But I know it was too early, and I know there was too much blood. And obviously I don't have a teenager here, right? What else could have happened? The baby had to have died."
"I don't know," Jessica said. "You mentioned adoption earlier, maybe you put the baby up for adoption?"
Natalie rolled her eyes and shot her a skeptical look.
"Okay, fine," Jessica said. "I agree, it doesn't look good. But we don't know for sure, do we?"
"I guess not," Natalie said. "But that's not the way my life works. There aren't magical happy endings around the corner."
"You don't know that, Natalie," Jessica said. "Yeah, you've dealt with some really hard things. And when your memory starts coming back, there are going to be some really terrible things you'll have to remember about the life you don't know. But there are also good things. You've got a beautiful baby boy, parents who love you, brothers, cousins…me."
"So why do you sometimes look at me like you hate me?"
Jessica looked away guiltily. "You've noticed that?"
"I lived in a shelter, if you don't learn to read people quick, you end up last in line," Natalie said. "Why do you hate me? What did I do?"
"What makes you assume it was something you did?"
Natalie shrugged. "I know me," she said. "I don't make good choices. It doesn't earn me a lot of friends."
"Well, in this case, I guess there was blame on both sides," Jessica said. "Look, it's a long story, Natalie. Before you got hurt, we were not in a good place. And when you've got your memory back, there are a lot of things that we're going to need to have some pretty uncomfortable talks about. But right now…right now, you're a version of my sister that I don't know, so it's really not fair for me to hold that against you. I don't hate you."
"But you do hate the future me?"
Jessica hesitated. "I thought I did," she admitted. "But when you were lying in that hospital bed, I kept thinking about what would happen if I never got to talk to my sister again. I spent months hating you, hating what happened, wishing you would just go away, but when it actually happened, when I thought you might die…all I wanted was another chance to talk to my sister."
"Why?" Natalie asked. "If our relationship was so awful, why would you want anything to do with me?"
"Because it wasn't always awful, Natalie," Jessica said. "We've had our ups and downs, maybe more downs that we should have, but there was a time when we both let our guard down and we really had something. We were sisters. Twins. Friends, even. We were pregnant at the same time, and I remember being so happy that we were going to raise our babies together. We had a relationship, and that's what I most regret losing."
"So what am I now? A do-over?"
Jessica shook her head. "No," she said. "I don't know…look, when you remember, you're going to realize what I have, which is that we were both lied to and deceived by someone we thought we could trust. And it doesn't make up for what you did, or for what I did, but the more I think about it - and believe me, I haven't thought about much else the last few months - it does make it feel a little different. So I'm going to help you, and when we're done and this is over, and you've got your memories back, maybe that's something we can rebuild on."
"You're going to help me?" Natalie asked. "How?"
Jessica smiled sadly as she looked at Natalie. "Pack your bags," she said. "We're going to find out what happened to your baby."
Clint frowned as he put the note down and looked at his ex-wife the next morning. "I don't understand," he said. "Where did they go?"
"You just read the same note I did, Clint," Viki pointed out. "All Jessica said is that she and Natalie are taking a trip and she doesn't know when they'll be back. I don't know anything more than what's on that paper."
"Well, should we call the police? Send someone after them?"
Viki rolled her eyes. "Call the police and tell them what exactly, Clint? That our 32-year-old daughters have taken a vacation?"
"Natalie thinks she's sixteen!"
"And Jessica does not," Viki said. "She'll look out for her sister."
"Do I need to remind you that Jessica is the one who put Natalie in this position?"
"Clint!"
"No, Viki, I know it was accidental," Clint said. "But they were not on good terms before Natalie lost her memory, and Jessica hasn't exactly been fully engaged in Natalie's recovery. You think that animosity just goes away because Natalie got hurt?"
"Of course not," Viki said. "But Jessica wouldn't have gone with Natalie if she thought either of them would get hurt, you know that. Besides, what choice do we have right now but to trust them? It's not like they're asking for permission, Clint. They're gone. And who knows, maybe this will be what Natalie needs to start recovering some of her memories."
