Actually...it is rather crowded right now. I guess I spent a little longer hanging around Rin than I thought.
What should I do? I could visit the people I know, try to see what they're up to. I don't really want to be alone in this festival.
I should see what Hanako is up to. She's my first real friend in a while, I think. I don't know what exactly it is we are yet, but I, at least, consider her my friend.
I can't help but wonder if she feels the same. I hope she does.
Where would she be, though? It's crowded outside, so definitely not anywhere in the festival.
The library.
I want her to be able to enjoy today; if not at the festival, at least around friends. Maybe I can see if Lilly is available. It could be as simple as tea, or perhaps we could go into the city. Anything sounds good right now; and besides, I am rather hungry.
Where would Lilly be, then? It might be best to satisfy my hunger before I do anything else, and there happen to be many food stalls in the area. I pick one at random, nibbling on takoyaki while I ponder.
Lilly's a leader, a sheep herder, but not as involved in the administration itself as the student council would be. So she's probably in charge of a stall, maybe 3-2's class stall, if they have one. It seems that the festival is well under way, so most of that administration is probably over anyways. Shizune and Misha might even be around here somewhere, enjoying the sights.
As it turns out, my guess is correct. I find Lilly taking orders at a particularly large stall, about ten students running around behind her. She looks rather busy, however, and I don't want to interrupt with a random query. I'll come back later, after peak hours.
My decision made, I make my way to the main building. The closer I get to the buildings, the less crowded it gets. It seems that no one wants to be around a classroom today.
Good. The library is almost certainly abandoned then, except for, I hope, one violet-haired girl.
In my haste, I misplace my crutch on the stairs and it gives way abruptly. I manage to catch myself on my hands before I break my face, but it's a close call nonetheless. The walking implement clatters noisily as it falls down the stairs.
My hands seem fine, though a little dirty. All in all, I got pretty lucky with that. The school building is nearly deserted; if I had been more severely injured, I don't think anyone would have noticed in time to help. The only thing really injured is my pride.
At least my leg seems to have gotten better. I don't feel the stiffness I was getting accustomed to, but I know better than to assume it has healed. It probably would hurt right now if I could feel the pain.
Sighing, I limp down the stairs, retrieve my crutch, and then head off into a nearby bathroom to wash my hands.
All in all, pretty lucky...
Right.
/
The library, as expected, is totally silent. I slowly tap my way down to the reading area in the back of the library. A purple-haired head flicks up to glance at me as a slightly-scarred hand freezes, chopsticks held loosely.
"Hi, Hanako." The girl herself is sitting on one of the tables, a book snapped shut next to her with a purple bookmark holding it in place. Something feels off about her, but I'm not entirely sure what it is as she nods her head.
"H-Hi, Hisao." She catches a piece of meat with her chopsticks. "Would you like to...sit down?"
Hm. It seems she's immediately trying to avoid a situation in which I ask her to go outside and she politely refuses; that, or I'm reading into a polite gesture far too much.
"Sure. Thanks." I set my crutch down before pulling up a chair.
Oh, that's what changed. Hanako is...smiling?
It makes me feel rather warm inside. I can't help but remember the times where I could feel warmth outside as well as inside; or, more recently, feeling warm at all. When you don't really have friends, it's hard to have the chance to make someone happy. When you're disabled, people tend to avoid you anyways.
Would I have been the same, if I was a normal person? I want to say no, but...
Pain was the first thing to go. That led to most of the scars on me; scars that, thankfully, no one has asked about. Thankfully, my face is clear of any permanent markings, though my arms and legs certainly are not. The injuries are very much visible; I wear long sleeves and pants to cover them up, to avoid questions.
Temperature was second, and hopefully it's the last thing I lose. That's optimistic, I know, ridiculously so, but I can always dream.
Sometimes it almost feels like I'm normal, without a disability. For the most part, I can live a reasonably normal life, though at a markedly less quality of. But then I'm reminded of all the things I can't do, all of my limitations, and that always manages to crash my mood.
That's why I want friends here, I guess. I want to be relied on. Even with the risk involved, that someone will find out...it's still something I really want.
If there's anything I've learned, reading about something over and over again really makes you want to have it. Friendship. Love, even.
No, I can't be selfish enough for that. There are still limitations to my happiness, as always. I have a degenerative condition. I can't possibly do that to someone, especially someone I care about.
"A-Are you okay?" Hanako's tentative smile is gone, replaced by concern and worry.
"Yeah. I was just thinking about some stuff. Have you ever..." I trail off, wondering if this is too personal of a question for her. She seems very curious, if not a bit wary, but this may be something I'm not ready to ask her, and that she may not be ready to answer.
"No, never mind." I say, abruptly changing my mind. "I was just thinking about my future." A flash of something flits across Hanako's face for just a second before it returns to its normal neutrality.
"A-Ah. I k-know the-" She quickly brings a morsel of food to her mouth, effectively cutting herself off.
I know the feeling.
You would, wouldn't you, Hanako? What confuses me is why you had to cut yourself off. Why you didn't choose to finish that statement. I won't ask this out loud, of course, but I'll always wonder...
Or what if you just asked?
Hanako is fragile. I don't want to strain our friendship. That isn't to say I won't ever want to know, because I do, but I don't want to rush things.
"What do you like to do?" I ask.
"H-Huh?"
"Hobbies, activities. That kind of thing. Like reading and tea." I assume tea is amongst her interests, unless she's just going along with it for Lilly. She seems to like it herself, though.
"I like to play chess..."
Aha.
"Really? I enjoy chess myself. It's the one game that I'm good at." I say, cheered by this common interest. "It's too bad we don't have a chess set anywhere..."
"T-There is one in the tea room..." Hanako trails off invitingly.
"Yes. Do you want to...?"
"Yes." Even Hanako seems quite excited by the prospect. I nod, smiling.
"Okay. Let's go!"
...
I'm in my element.
Chess is something I've studied. Starting as a fit of boredom, I quickly grew to enjoy the game and played constantly against myself and against computer opponents.
The single board game I excel at. Pattern recognition, strategy, skill.
Hanako relies on a defensive stance, rarely taking initiative but pouncing on opportunities as they arise. She's quite good at it, too; she's ignored most of the trick bait I've set out for her and pounced on the free pieces I've given her to analyze her style.
She seems to be pretty good at the game; taught, it seems. She reacted fairly quickly at the beginning, preparing an excellent castling defense before long with acceptable development. After that, her pace slowed for the most part, but she reacted immediately when placed into certain situations; she was likely taught how to deal with those. However...
My style is merely a brutal offense; rather than wait for my chance I force it. Shizune demonstrated this style in Risk; immediately launch an unstoppable wave of troops that I can't defend against, forcing me back constantly.
It flusters Hanako very well; forces her to make mistakes that I capitalize on, smashing wedges into her defense as she struggles to regroup. Nonetheless, though, she remains focused and intense, something I admire.
Her efforts don't bear any fruit. Once I manage to pierce her castling defense, I ruthlessly smash it apart and checkmate her black King.
"Good game." I say, cheerfully. It was actually rather close; I made plenty of my own mistakes. I'm not quite used to playing against people. Computers are pretty predictable, reacting the same way every time; people don't do that, and it threw me off.
"T-Thanks. You too. You're v-very good." She says, earnestly, a small smile on her face. "Do you want to play...again?"
I nod. "That would be my pleasure."
As we're setting up the pieces, there is a noise at the door, then Lilly walks in.
"Good afternoon." Lilly says. I wonder how she knew we were in here. Eavesdropping, perhaps? Either way, she seems to be happy enough. We both greet her in our customary manner.
"Have you been here the whole time?" She asks. I think Lilly would have wanted us to be at the festival. I've admittedly been rather detached from it all. I'm sure Shizune would disapprove, too, especially because it really does look like they put a lot of effort into it.
"No, not really. We've just managed to finish a game of chess." I reply.
"W-Would you like a cup of tea?" Hanako asks.
"Actually, I think it may be a good idea to go outside for a little while..." The instant drop in Hanako's expression shows her objection to this plan, though she says nothing. I expect that Lilly is well aware of this, though, so I don't immediately object.
"Outside? Where? To town?" I ask, taking a guess. I don't think Lilly would readily leave Hanako to the crowds of the festival unless I've severely misjudged their level of friendship.
"Yes. I was thinking that we should leave the school and head for the local teahouse." Lilly says, an appreciative smile on her face.
"You mean the S-Shanghai?" Hanako asks, her expression rising back a bit.
"Of course; with everyone at the festival it should be practically empty."
"That sounds good to me." I say. "Hanako, what do you think?" She jumps slightly at being forced into the conversation.
"I think it'd be n-nice." She says.
"Well then, it's settled. Let's be on our way." Hanako and I rise from the table and our preempted chess game. I pick up my crutch and Hanako picks up the board and puts the pieces away.
"Looks like we're ready now. Please, lead on." I say. Hanako moves to Lilly's side and we venture out into the school's corridor. They lead me through a series of unfamiliar doors that lead out to another side of the school, away from the bulk of the festival. I suppose this is for Hanako's benefit.
The sounds of the festival are faded, so far away, but it does leave me with a question.
"Shouldn't people be leaving by now?" I ask, curious.
"They're probably here to view the fireworks."
"Oh?"
"Yes, apparently the school puts on quite a show. A lot of people come from town just to watch them."
"Ah." It makes even more sense to leave now, then. I suppose we won't be back until night.
For the second time since arriving at Yamaku I find myself walking down this hill with Lilly. Only now that I can barely hear the festival do I realize how loud it was. My ears are ringing slightly.
What must have that been like for Lilly, who has even more of an enhanced sense of hearing than I?
Hanako clings to Lilly, but still manages to guide her along the road. That, and avoiding the occasional pedestrian and car. This seems to completely sap her energy and focus; she doesn't utter a word.
Lilly, on the other hand, maintains her prim and proper persona just as she does in school. It's obvious she purposely puts effort into her appearance, rather than simply hiding it as Hanako does. It's striking how different they are in their way of holding themselves.
Inside Yamaku, everyone is unique, so none of us are. Once leaving the school, though, we are the different people again. With our distinct school uniform, it's like hanging a sign around your neck challenging people to figure out what's wrong with you. I guess that particular game doesn't last long, what with the cranes and crutches.
The walk is mostly silent, though comfortably so.
