"It's almost curfew, Ms. Tezuka. What are you doing out here so late? And where did you get that lamp from?" Misha's voice floats from somewhere in front of me.

"I didn't get the lamp. The lamp got me." Rin's voice.

"B-But...what? Ah..." Misha flounders.

Oh dear...

"Hey, Misha, Shizune, I can deal with this. You guys can go on to bed." I say, jogging up to take in the odd sight.

There's Rin sitting cross-legged, staring at the mural between the dorms, a track lamp next to her. Then Shizune and Misha standing above her, arms crossed, faces illuminated by the bright white lamp.

"Alright, Hicchan, if you say so. Thank you for the help today! And now!" Misha replies cheerfully, though Shizune takes the time to send one more petulant glare at Rin before huffing and turning around.

Once they're gone, I turn to the emerald-eyed girl.

"So...what are you doing out here?" I ask, hastily continuing when I realize that this is seeking to be a replay of yesterday. "Not that you can't, but...it really is kind of late. Aren't you cold?"

Because I am. It's a pretty uncomfortable feeling.

"...I don't know." Rin replies, staring moodily at the mural. "Maybe it will help."

"Well...help with what?" I question, swatting a fly that buzzes around my head.

"I don't know." Rin says again. "That's what I'm out here for."

It's this cycle again, the question-answer-question-answer thing, and it's kind of irritating me. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to go about this. Am I even supposed to try?

No. I want to help Rin...with whatever her issue is. I can't give up like this. But what does she expect me to do? What am I supposed to do?

"...Well, do you know why you came here, then? To this spot in front of the mural?" I ask.

"This...is where...things...changed?" Rin says slowly, looking confused herself. It's not a particularly new expression for her. "I...I just...want to understand..." Getting the words out is clearly a struggle, but I don't let up. I think this is helping her...?

"What changed?" I inquire. It's almost like an interview, the way this goes back and forth.

"Everything." She replies unhappily. I take it that she doesn't want that.

"I...see. Do you want me to leave you alone?" I ask. "Would that help you...think?"

"...No. You help me." I'm not sure if that's a statement or some kind of question, but I decide to stay anyways.

"Alright." I join her on the ground. "What do you want me to do?" There's a fairly long silence as Rin ponders the question. Eventually she turns to me, green eyes wide.

"Just be." Another cryptic statement as she looks away to pull her attention back to the mural again. I'm not too sure what she means by that. Just be...myself? I don't know.

"Okay. Why don't you like change?" I ask.

"Not ready. Don't want to." She replies shortly.

"I think you'll have to." I say, quietly.

"Why? Is there something wrong with me?" Rin asks, and as I turn to look at her, I realize that she's been staring at me the whole time.

"Outside of the obvious?" I ask, tapping my arm lightly. "I don't think so."

"That's not what everyone else seems to think." Rin observes, that same painful sadness seeming to swirl around again.

"I think...that everyone has their own faults." I respond. "And that it's up to others to decide whether or not they can tolerate those faults in others. If their good points overrule the bad ones."

"That doesn't really explain anything, though." Rin notes. I shrug.

"I think it does. It isn't always up to a person to make their own friends. Sometimes the preconceptions of other people get in the way. Look at us, we're just a bunch of disabled students. People without disabilities typically avoid us; why? I guess a lot of it has to do with the stigma of it. You and I could be the nicest people in the whole world and it might not matter to normal people because of our conditions."

"Why?"

"Why what?" I return her question.

"Why is it like that?"

"I don't know." I admit. Why do people discriminate against the disabled? It's not a question I've ever wondered to myself. It's just...something that happens.

And then there reigns silence. Moths are drawn to the lamp as bugs are. Rin shifts it away from her with her foot, looking uncomfortable. A little too much force and she tips it over. We both watch the lamp roll away, eventually coming to a pause.

"Why are you sad, Rin?" I ask. She turns to me.

"I'm not ready to change." She says, quietly. "...But I have to. I have to spread my wings and fly, don't I?"

"Like a butterfly?" I guess. She nods firmly.

"...Yeah. We can't just hide forever. Eventually we have to go free. And fly, like you said."

"What if I can't?" Rin asks. I don't have the heart to tell her about the cold consequences of reality.

"Maybe you can't yet. But I'll-" I pause. "I'll help you, if you want me to. I can be your friend." There. That's out on the table.

"Oh." She says, blankly. And then-

"I think I'd like that." Rin says, a tiny smile gracing her features. She turns back to the mural with a sense of finality.

I think we're both lost here, but it's a good first step, isn't it? I'm not sure how I'm going to manage all of my friendships, now. I feel like Rin is probably the least stable when considering Hanako and Emi, the latter of which is basically good. Hanako's still hurting, but she's also steadily growing stronger.

But Rin...I think Rin really does need help. The problem is that I don't really understand her the way I'm going to need to if I want to be a good friend to her. It's almost like a language barrier, except not entirely. I can figure out what she's saying most of the time, but it's a long and painful process that I don't really want to have to keep repeating.

The problem is, though, that not very many people seem to be interested in even beginning to try understanding her. I think Rin mentioned that she and Emi were friends once, so I should probably talk to Emi about her. But what about the other people I know? Lilly doesn't really get how to deal with Rin, Shizune doesn't seem to be concerned...

And the thought of Hanako and Rin meeting is laughable. Rin's accidental bluntness and Hanako's shyness wouldn't fit together at all.

I guess that my first step, then, is to start trying to figure out Rin more. And the easiest way to do that is simply by spending more time around her.

I can do that much.

Something bumps against my shoulder and I glance down to find Rin, her head resting against my arm.

I...think she's asleep.

"Oh, Rin..." I murmur, when I see the tears sliding down her face. Carefully, I wipe them off, using the very tips of my fingers. I'm not sure if I accomplish anything past simply smearing them all over her cheek, but it's the sentiment that counts, I think.

Alright. Now what do I do? I don't want to wake her, but I definitely don't want to stay out here, with all the bugs and who knows what else out here. So...we have to move.

Except I'm not going to be walking into the girls' dorm with her in my arms. That's just asking for disaster. The Nurse? I would, but I don't think I want to deal with his brand of humor right now, and I don't really want to ditch Rin anyways.

So I guess that leaves...my room. This is going to be pretty uncomfortable, I think, but we'll just have to make do.

Carefully, I lie her down on the ground, making sure not to jostle her too much. Then I slide my arms under her legs and near the top of her back and liiiiiift

Okay. She's actually pretty light, for a person, anyways. I think I can manage this much. I'm starting to regret the morning run; the burn in my legs I could definitely do without right now.

Alright, alright, now, careful, careful, watch the back of her head, don't want to hurt her...

Now we're inside the boys dorms. Thankfully I don't have to climb any stairs; I don't think I could do those without waking up Rin. Room 119...turn left, down the hall, alright, here we are.

Now...how do I open the door...?

Goddamnit.

Oh, wait, that's right. It's not locked. I didn't remember to lock it today. I should probably do that, considering my erratic hallmate. Ah well. It's for the best now.

Through careful maneuvering, I manage to get my hand on the doorknob and successfully push open the door, stumbling over to my bed before placing Rin on it, her head on my pillow.

Eehh...

Am I supposed to undress her? That might be a good idea, but at the same time I feel like doing that would be a really big invasion of her privacy, so I guess we'll be skipping that.

I guess we're good, then. Where do I sleep myself? I guess I can sleep at the chair on my desk...or on the desk itself. Maybe I shouldn't have taken my medications today. This is probably going to suck in the morning...