Disclaimer: All recognizable Twilight characters belong to S. Meyer. I however own 'White Carpets and Wall Sconces.'
A/N: Many thanks again to Adrena and Blynn!
Hopefully this makes you laugh as much as it made me laugh.
Edward's Point of View
The fact that she hadn't actually verbally agreed to "be exclusive" did not go unnoticed, but I decided to drop it for the time being. She was willing to hang around and that was enough for the moment. I could tell she was still scared, still afraid that I was going to go back to what I'd been before. I cursed myself for not ignoring Tanya; however, I knew that I would never have lived it down and Rosalie was not someone you wanted angry with you.
We were parked in front of Bella's apartment and she was trying to muster the courage to go upstairs. I had to admit, it really was something that was going to take some guts. I had no real desire to see Josh the frat boy naked on top of Bella's tiny roommate either, but we really did need to get her things.
"Let's just do it. Maybe they'll be asleep." I pulled the key out of the ignition and unbuckled her.
"Maybe I should just go. You don't need to see this."
"I have Alice and Emmett, trust me when I say you can't scare me. Did you know that Jasper doesn't wear a toga?" She gave me the strangest look. One that told me I was completely insane. "Come on, we'll be really quiet and maybe we won't even see them."
She sighed, defeated and opened the door, fishing her keys out of her purse as she moved up the walk.
"Are you not tired yet?" I noticed for the first time that her face was drawn and she was starting to drag her feet.
"Exhausted," she admitted, opening the door and heading for the stairs, the only light was the sliver that came through the hall window from the street lamp outside. "Come on," she took my hand and headed for the stairs. "There's no point in turning on lights, I know the way."
How she managed to get up the stairs without falling I'll never know, but she did, and pulled the key for her apartment out and fiddled with the lock. I kissed her neck. "Stop," she scolded in a whisper. "We don't want to wake them up."
The door creaked loudly and I saw the faint blue light of the television flashing in the dark room. She took a sharp breath. "Quiet, come on." She pulled me through and into a bedroom. "It's a disaster, sorry" she whispered, flicking on the desk lamp and pulling a couple of textbooks off of shelves and shoving them haphazardly in a back pack. "Can you hand me my power cord?" she whispered, pointing to the floor by the bed and folding the lap top and shoving it in the case. "Thanks."
We were doing pretty well. She was digging out another pair of jeans before we heard anything. And then I heard a gruff laugh from the other room. "Fuck baby, you're amazing at that." I watched Bella stiffen, her face reddening. "It's like the best; you and Troy at the same time." I had to stuff my fist in my mouth to stop from laughing. Bella had hidden her head in her hands and was shaking. "It's like sensory overload."
"Oh No," she mouthed at me, her eyes wide. I was practically doubled over. This was a hundred times better than anything I'd heard in my house.
"Oh god Baby, watching you, and watching Troy, it's like totally different pleasures that make both of them better."
"They know we're here," Bella mouthed again, pulling me to the bed and clapping her hand over my mouth. "You have to be quiet," she whispered against my ear, her hot breath sending tingles down my spine.
"Fuck Jessica!" We heard Josh gasp again, and then for the first time, Jessica's voice.
"Know what would be really sexy?"
Bella buried her face in my shoulder. "Oh no," she groaned as quietly as possible.
"What?" We heard Josh gasp. I squeezed my eyes shut. This was bound to be good.
"If you dressed like those guys on Troy for me."
My eyes popped open and it was all I could do to hold back the laugh that was threatening to explode from within me. I felt Bella clutch me tighter. She was shaking with silent laughter. "I'm so sorry," she breathed.
"Like in those toga things?"
I was ready to collapse on the floor; it was all I could do to hold myself up.
"A toga and a sword," Jessica purred.
I couldn't help it. I snorted. I was practically pounding my fist on the bed to try to keep quiet, and Bella was still clinging to my shoulder unable to do anything, but shake. "I don't think they wear togas in Troy, do they?" I whispered to her. She couldn't answer.
"I think we can arrange for that. " Oh fuck, this was a hundred times better than I'd ever thought.
We heard some rustling and then saw the shadows of feet passing by the light under the door.
"We need to get out of here," Bella whispered, mashing the last of whatever she needed into the backpack.
"No way, this is too good to miss."
"Edward, you sick fuck, we need to go. If they catch us…well, I have to live with her." She grimaced.
"Okay fine," I whispered, tip toeing to the door. She laughed at me, a little louder than she should have. "Shh Bella," I hushed her, reaching for the knob while she turned off the lamp. I twisted the knob and pulled, opening the door and thanking the heavens that at least the bedroom door didn't squeak. "Come on." I picked up her back pack and she followed with the lap top, careful to stay as quiet as possible. There was giggling and moaning coming from the other bedroom now, and a battle scene from Troy was playing on the television. Definitely no togas there.
We were almost to the door. I was reaching for the handle when I heard it; a loud thump and then a tiny gasp from Bella. She'd tripped over something, or perhaps nothing, but either way it was the loudest noise we'd made yet.
"What was that?" Oh shit, they'd heard us. Bella clambered up and reached for my hand, a look of terror on her face.
"Don't worry; I'll go check it out." Josh sounded cocky. I fought to keep my cool. I reached for the door, hoping that we could get out.
"She can't know you're here," Bella hissed, pushing me toward the door. I swung the door open with a creak, and then…
"Who's there?" Josh jumped out of the shadows, sheet wrapped around him and tied at the shoulder, holding none other than a broom handle like a sword. Both of us stared, speechless. Bella's mouth was slightly open, and I'm sure mine was too. No one said anything for what seemed like an eternity, and then Jessica's voice came from around the corner, low and scared sounding.
"Who is it?"
Josh's eyes were wide, and he was still holding the broom handle in front of him, his feet were still in some strange sort of lunge. "Uhm…" He was still staring at us and we were still staring back.
"Baby, who is it?" Her head of black curls peeked around the corner. "Oh," she said quietly. "Bella."
I heard Bella gulp. "We were, uh, just leaving," she managed to stammer out. Her hand pushed me out the door. "Later, Jess." She gave a wave.
"Is that Edward Cullen?" Bella didn't answer; she just closed the door and pulled me toward the stairs. We made it all the way to the car before we started to laugh.
"Oh my god," I gasped, collapsing against the steering wheel. "The broom handle!" I couldn't keep my eyes open, I was laughing so hard.
Bella was practically screaming she was laughing so hard. It was probably my favourite sound in the whole world.
Bella's Point of View
Edward's face was contorted in laughter. It was the most relaxed; the most free I'd had the chance to see him. His eyes were crinkled and his mouth was wide as he shook with ringing laughter. I felt like I should feel more embarrassed than I did, but didn't bother dwelling. He obviously wasn't.
"I am so, so sorry," I told him when I finally calmed down enough to speak. "No one should have had to see that."
He waved me off. "That was the best frigging entertainment I've had in a long time. Definitely beat the lame ass party my sister threw." He turned on the car (and me in the process, how did he have that kind of effect on me?) and backed out of the driveway.
It really was a tribute to how much I seemed to enjoy spending time with Edward that I wasn't worrying about Jessica's reaction to our little run in. Time spent with Edward was easy. The tense moments were easily forgotten as soon as we moved on to something else. It seemed like years ago that he'd shouted at me on the street. His face showed no trace of the tension from that moment, or the tense moment at the stop light. He seemed to change his mind and his mood as often as I did, and for that I was thankful.
I found it far too easy to forget who he was and the rumours swirling around him as we sat in easy silence, or effortless laughter. I kept reminding myself that he was obviously wearing a mask. I tried hard to keep a barrier up, because without it Edward Cullen had the capability to bring my world crashing down. But that wall I was trying so hard to keep upright, was crumbling under his force.
"What are you thinking, Bella?" His voice was soft and he flashed me a dazzling smile.
"About building walls," I told him, leaning my head back in the seat.
"Literally or figuratively?"
"I suppose figuratively. I'm not very good at it. They crumble before I even get them up." I blushed crimson, sure I'd said too much. He just hummed in response and turned onto his street and pulled into the driveway. There weren't too many cars left. A few convertibles and the odd beater lined the streets but the party seemed to have mostly died down. He took my hand and guided me in, carrying my back pack and letting me bring the lap top.
"Tired?" He sounded it. I nodded silently beside him, fighting a yawn. I peeked at his watch to see that it was four thirty. "You should be," he continued, pushing the door open and clicking it shut behind us. "Though I'm not sure I can let you sleep," he winked.
"I should have stayed and listened to toga-boy do my roommate," I grumbled.
"Does that put you to sleep? Because if it does, we can listen to Jasper and Alice. I'm quite sure they wear togas."
"Edward!" I smacked him playfully on the shoulder. "That's your sister! That's disgusting."
He shuddered. "Excellent point, Miss Swan."
Voices from the kitchen met our ears. "I'd hoped they were already asleep," Edward muttered, hitching my backpack higher on his shoulder and guiding me toward the noise. "Better get this over with, and then we can go to bed." He poked his head into the kitchen. "Hey everyone." The group of people at the table looked up. It seemed to consist of Alice and Jasper, Edward's brother Emmett, and a gorgeous blonde beside him, the blonde Edward had said was a friend of Rosalie's, and another blonde. "This is Bella," he told them, tilting his head in my direction. "You've met Alice and Emmett and Jasper of course," he continued, completely ignoring the faces staring incredulously at him. "Beside Emmett is Rosalie," he indicated "and Tanya in the green, and her friend Kate." He looked down at me and smiled. I felt like I was on exhibit at the zoo. Everyone at the table was staring at me like I had three heads.
"Nice to meet you?" Rosalie sounded unsure. I saw the one called Tanya give her a look that told her to shut up. I nodded at Rosalie and tried to smile.
"We're going to go upstairs," Edward continued, completely oblivious to the confused glances he was earning. He pulled me in the direction of the staircase and away from the muttering group in the kitchen. "That wasn't so bad," he told me.
I wondered what he'd been expecting.
