Chapter 4

"This isn't where you belong, Katsuragi."

"What do you mean? My place is right here with you, Kaji."

"But I'm not actually here with you. I'm not real. I'm just the Kaji in your mind."

Desperate arms snaked around Kaji's body and held him tightly. Misato sighed into his chest.

"You're real enough for me..."

The perpetually scruffy man gently kissed her forehead.

"Do you really want to spend an eternity living in a lie? And what about the children? You're practically a mother to Shinji, after all. He and Asuka need you too much for you to stay here."

There was a long pause as Misato struggled with what she wanted to do, and what she should do.

"Kaji... If I leave, what about you? Will you return as well?"

"I'm sorry, I can't answer that. I'm not real, after all."

"Please! I don't care if you're not real! Promise me you'll come back! Give me something to hope for!"

There was a low, deep sigh. "...Alright Katsuragi, how about this? You leave this place, and look after Asuka and Shinji for me. They'll need your love and guidance, especially when the rest of humanity follows. And if- when I leave this place and find you... I'll say the words I wasn't able to say eight years ago."

"You already promised that."

"And now I'm promising it again."

"But you died! You promised me and then you went and did something stupid and you died!"

"Yep. What's the worst that could happen to me now? I can't exactly die again." Kaji chuckled softly.

A small sob escaped Misato's mouth, before she looked up at him, and smashed their lips together. Arms wrapped around each other, and the couple held the kiss as long as possible, before spots started to dance in front of their eyes as their lungs cried for oxygen.

"There. If I never see you again, if you break your promise again and don't come back, at least we left each other on a high note this time."

"That's my girl. Keep your head up."

"Goodbye, Ryoji Kaji..."

"Farewell, Misato Katsuragi..."


Misato lay on the beach, one arm thrown across her face shading her eyes from the morning sun. Her frantic swim to shore had been nearly half an hour ago, but she was still rather tired. Waking up from a strange and wonderful dream involving a loved one a hundred meters out from shore, and struggling to reach dry land with lungs full of water and the strong taste of blood in her mouth had taxed the woman.

'Well that's the first part done, Kaji. I went back,' she thought to herself with a small smirk on her face. 'Now I just need to go and find the kids.'

Sitting up once more with a loud groan as her tired muscles protested, Misato took another look around the beach she had washed up on. The sea was still red, and a giant vacant eye still stared blankly at her. As she got to her feet, she kicked something half-buried in the sand. Crouching down, Misato dug up a familiar-looking cigarette lighter. The same one she had used on the few occasions that had called for a smoke.

"How the hell did this get here?" Misato asked herself with a confused expression on her face. As far as she could remember, she had never been to this place... wherever it was. A quick glance around showed that the beach was near Tokyo-3... or rather the remains of said city.

The lighter almost dropped through her fingers, as Misato could not help but stare at the devastation wrought by the JSSDF in a single attack. The N2 mine had practically vaporised everything at ground zero, ripping a hole straight through nearly two dozen layers of armour as if they didn't exist. Most of the fortress city was rubble, not a single building left unscathed. The shocked woman quietly thanked whatever god still existed that they had evacuated the majority of the city before SEELE launched their strike.

A glint of light drew her attention to a strange sight only a few feet away. Several wooden T-shaped objects were lined up in a row behind where she had just been resting. What was more surprising was the silver cross hanging from one of them. The same trinket that was normally worn around her neck, that she had pressed into Shinji's hands moments before shoving him into the elevator going up to the Evangelion cages. A shudder went up the woman's spine as she remembered the final moments before her death.

Bleeding from a bullet wound, she had pressed her silver cross into Shinji's hands. Then she had kissed him. That kiss... and that awful, disgusting promise she had made to Shinji to try and stir something in him just to try to get him into his Evangelion before the JSSDF caught them. It brought a sick sensation to Misato's stomach. She still vividly remembered the shocked look on the boy's face as he stumbled backwards into the elevator just before the door slammed shut. Her own body had then collapsed moments before explosions rocked the corridor, just as the vision of a ghostly blue-haired girl appeared, reaching out to the dying woman.

Suddenly, she had found herself in a bedroom, curled up in bed with Kaji. They were reliving the time in college when the two of them skipped class for a week. Time passed, but Misato cared only about the man holding her in his arms. He eventually spoke to Misato, telling her that she was living in a fantasy world, and convinced her that she should leave the dream and return to reality. And now she was on a beach surrounded by a red ocean.

Misato tucked the lighter into a pocket before kneeling down in front of the cross, and noticed her own name scratched into the wood. The others bore familiar names. Kaji, Rei and Asuka, some of their classmates, as well as the Fifth Child, Kaworu Nagisa. It was no impossible task to determine who had built this memorial. Shinji, that poor young boy, had obviously survived Third Impact, but Misato's heart sank as she stared at the cross bearing Asuka's name.

The young German girl had apparently not returned. Misato had assumed that Asuka would return at the same time as Shinji, if not sooner. She could only imagine the pain in Shinji's heart as he sat on this beach waiting for people to return, but giving up and creating this meagre graveyard. Misato slowly got back to her feet, tears in her eyes, and placed the silver cross back around her neck.

'How long has it been?' pondered Misato. Time had clearly passed while she had been in that ocean. Aside from the long-cold remains of a small fire, there were no other signs of life on the beach. It looked as though Shinji had waited here for others to return, but had given up hope and made the memorial before leaving. Wind and rain had eroded any possible footprints that could have given Misato a direction to begin a search for the boy. She decided simply to head home to her apartment -if it even remained intact- and start from there.

Misato set off into what remained of Tokyo-3, hoping that Shinji had had the same idea, and praying fervently he was still alive.

Behind her, completely unnoticed, the grey statues finally sank beneath the surface of the blood-red ocean.


Asuka glowered at herself in the bathroom mirror, as if daring the reflection to repeat yesterday's horrific performance. After several minutes passed with no sign of blood, she sighed and turned her attention to her right arm. The bandages would come off, and Asuka would finally examine the damage she had received in her last and greatest battle. The previous day when she had removed the sweaty and dirt-stained red plugsuit, Asuka had only been slightly surprised that her legs and torso bore no scars from the harpies or their lances.

While it had felt like she was being eaten alive, there had been no tears in her plugsuit, apart from the arm after her... resurrection. It was as if the entire fight had merely been a terribly realistic dream. On the other hand, the pain and stiffness in her arm over the past few days was quite real, and the bandages replacing the missing right plugsuit sleeve certainly proved that Asuka had not been imagining things when she saw her arm bisected.

Breathing slowly, the girl closed her eyes and began unravelling the white cloth, starting at her shoulder. Asuka did not want to look until her arm was completely uncovered. It took several long fumbling minutes, but finally Asuka's left hand stretched out and dropped the bandage on the bathroom floor. Still with her eyes closed, she slowly raised her right arm in front of her face, as if performing a ritual. She slowly breathed deeply in and out one more time, before opening her eyes. They immediately went as round as saucers.

Asuka stumbled through the store and out into the bright mid-morning sun, and stared at her arm again. She was shocked to discover that there was not a single trace of a scar on her arm. The skin was perfectly smooth, as if the split arm had merely been an illusion. Running a finger along her forearm, she did not even feel a bump of raised skin.

'What the hell is going on here?!' she thought to herself. 'There's no scar but my arm is constantly hurting.' Asuka let out a long sigh and dropped her arm to her side. It was going to be another mystery to add to the pile, and for the time being she would have to take it easy with the arm. No more falling over, or tantrums like throwing her possessions at people.

The empty interface band that normally secured the A-10 connectors was still on Asuka's head, serving to keep her hair somewhat tidy. It was now useless for its intended purpose, as both connectors were needed for piloting. Her Evangelion was now likely nothing but a pile of rusted metal and decaying meat anyway, so the connectors would still be pointless as anything besides a fashion accessory. Shinji had run off with the one she had thrown, like a raccoon stealing from a garbage can.

Asuka almost smiled as the image of a small furry animal wearing a white shirt and a hopeless expression on its face filled her mind.

With a sigh she banished the image from her mind, before turning around and heading back inside the service station. Several bottles of water and some snacks were loaded into the backpack she had acquired from the camping store. The day looked like it would be relatively clear, and Asuka wanted to start searching for any sign of Shinji. There were far too many questions going through the girl's head to sit around doing nothing.

It was time to hunt down the Third Child and get some answers out of him.


After what she could only presume was several hours, judging by the position of the sun now directly above her, Misato stopped walking and rested for a moment against a partially destroyed streetlight. Third Impact had done nothing for her atrocious sense of direction, and Misato was now as hopelessly lost as she had been on the first day she had brought Shinji into NERV headquarters. Any possible landmarks she could use to navigate by were smashed, and the shop signs weren't much help either. Misato was starting to wonder if she was simply going in circles at this point.

"Boy," she moaned as she started walking again. "What I wouldn't give right now for Rits to pop up and yell at me for getting lost again."

The Major and the chief scientist had been friends much longer than co-workers, but often found themselves at odds with each other at NERV. Misato did not know if she could bring herself to forgive Ritsuko for what she had done in regards to the First Child.

The last news Misato had heard of the doctor before her own death had been that she was preparing the MAGI for the self-destruct sequence as the final resort against SEELE. Commander Ikari and Rei Ayanami had also disappeared around the same time, and Misato believed she had a good idea where the two of them had gone. Terminal Dogma, the holding pen of the Second Angel and mother of humanity, Lilith.

From what she had managed to hack out of the MAGI, it was clear that both Commander Ikari and SEELE had been racing to initiate Third Impact on their own terms. Misato idly wondered who had actually won that race, before deciding that it didn't matter. They were both equally at fault for this catastrophe, and the Major wished a hellish fate on them all for their part in attempting to eradicate humanity.

And destroying her surrogate family.

If- no, when the rest of humanity returned from the red sea, Misato had discovered enough information on the true purpose of NERV and SEELE to damn any of the conspirators... if they showed their faces. It was highly unlikely they would, considering that Third Impact was what they had been working towards for far too long. Hopefully it would at least serve to protect the other people NERV employed, who would have had no idea what NERV's true purpose was.

Her foot caught on a piece of rubble, and Misato was rudely brought out of her musing as she nearly lost her balance. Tokyo-3 still looked unfamiliar to her, and she was starting to get hungry. An open door ahead of her drew her into a building, which turned out to be a small coffee shop. The pies and pastries on display under the register had all gone stale, and it only took a single bite of a doughnut to convince her to abandon that idea. She headed into the kitchen, hoping to find perhaps something sealed in a fridge, and was delighted to uncover a container full of biscotti.

Seeing as the furniture that would normally be outside the shop had been blown away -she saw one chair stuck in a window across the street- Misato dragged a chair and table outside to enjoy the cool breeze. The dryness of the biscotti only served to make her feel thirsty, but it took the edge off her hunger. Unfortunately for her, there was no electricity to brew coffee, so she had to make do with plain water. She eventually closed the lid on the container after devouring nearly half of the twice-baked cookies.

After relaxing for about half an hour, the distant sound of shattering glass reached Misato's ears. She frowned as she got up and turned in the direction the noise came from, instinctively reaching for her holster only to find it empty. The Major cursed quietly as she slowly made her way towards the disturbance. There was still no sign of any other humans in the city, but that didn't mean that there weren't any. Perhaps some looters had returned first and decided to make the most of the situation.

There was more noise as Misato drew closer, coming from a building directly ahead of her with two smashed windows. She ducked into a nearby alleyway and peeked around the corner, deciding to wait and see who was there before barging in.

Misato heard what sounded like a shelf being tipped over, accompanied by the muttering of a female. She raised an eyebrow at how young the person sounded as she stomped around and complained indecipherably to herself. Misato revised her initial theory that this was a mere looter. It sounded more like a returnee trying to... wait... was the girl speaking German?

"Is that Asuka?" Misato softly whispered to herself. "She's... alive after all?"


Inside the pharmacy, an annoyed girl stared at the shelf she had just tipped over in frustration. Asuka had returned to the spot she had last seen Shinji after wandering the city for half the day. She was hoping to catch him here, thinking that it was where he had been hiding ever since leaving her at the service station. He had been caught climbing through the window like he owned the place, and it was possibly only the fact that Asuka had been inside that scared him away. A small part of her mind tried to make its view known, that there was no guarantee that Shinji was even in the city any more after yesterday's incident. The boy could be half-way to Tokyo-2 by now, thanks to Asuka putting the fear of God into him.

Or rather, fear of an angry German.

All day, Asuka kept repeating to herself what she'd do once the Third Child was found, to try and stop herself snapping and screaming as soon as she saw him again. The best plan she had come up with to avoid another escape was to locate Shinji, sneak up behind him and knock him out, then tie him to a chair so he couldn't run away yet again. Even after half a day, the plan sounded silly to Asuka, but her fellow pilot simply had too many answers for her to let him get away again.

The pharmacy itself held no clues to Shinji's location. The only sign he had ever been in there was the blood on the floor. Asuka had spent the last hour searching the entire building, even the staff bathroom, only to come up with nothing. It was clear now that he had simply taken supplies from here and gone back to whatever hole he was hiding in, and she was now cursing at how much time she had wasted.

Asuka stepped outside and looked to the sky. It was now past midday, and some grey clouds could be spotted in the distance. They didn't look bad enough to be bringing any rain, but Asuka had yet to find an umbrella during her time wandering around the city.

The sound of running feet drew her attention, and before her mind could fully process the shocking sight in front of her, Asuka's mouth was already open and yelling.

"Shinji y- oof!" The wind was knocked out of her as her vision was filled by a crying purple haired woman who wrapped her arms around the girl and lifted her into a bear hug.

"Oh my god, Asuka! I thought you were dead!" Misato choked out amidst tears of joy. The Major had been depressed ever since leaving the beach, and the sight of her practically surrogate daughter alive and well was almost too much for her. She sank down onto her knees, lowering Asuka to the ground and loosening her grip as she cried into the redhead's shoulder.

"I'm... I'm too tough to kill, M-Misato," Asuka finally stammered out. She was returning the hug just as fiercely and fighting back tears of her own. The promise she had made to herself so very long ago to never cry again was all that prevented her from bawling at the sight of the purple-haired woman. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were dead as well."

"That's a damn good question, Asuka," Misato replied as she got herself under control and released Asuka, sitting back on her haunches. "I'm not exactly sure either. One minute I'm dying from a gunshot wound inside NERV, the next I was... um... hanging out with Kaji for ages in some sort of imaginary world. He told me that nothing was real and that I had to leave. Next thing I know I'm choking on bloody water and desperately swimming to shore. I ended up near those grave markers Shinji must have made."

Asuka's face darkened, her good mood vanishing at the mention of the Third Child. Misato tilted her head in uncertainty as she saw this.

"What's the matter? Did something happen to Shinji? Is he... dead?"

"No, Misato, The idiot isn't dead," Asuka spat.

"Oh, god, that's a relief, I-"

"But I can't even find him!" Asuka crossed her arms and turned her back to Misato. "Every time I've spotted him since I woke up on the beach he runs away from me, the damned coward!"

Misato got back to her feet and raised an eyebrow. "Asuka, did you hurt him again?" she asked crossly as she planted her hands on her hips.

Asuka whirled back around and threw her arms out. "No!" she screamed. "I've done nothing but try to talk to him and all he does is flee like I'm an Angel or something!" She started rubbing her right arm, and exhaled as the anger dissipated. "But... when you consider that all I ever did was harass him..."

The Major watched as her charge's shoulders slumped. Misato knew very well the friction between the two pilots. She had lost count of the number of times she had to step in and save Shinji from one of Asuka's shouting fits. They usually resulted in Asuka stomping off to her room, and Shinji laying on his bed for hours listening to his SDAT. Misato placed one hand on the girl's right shoulder -she noticed the twitch as she touched her but didn't think anything of it- and used her other hand to pull Asuka's chin up to look her in the eyes.

"Asuka, are you sure you didn't do anything to him, intentional or not?" she asked. It was not uncommon for the Second Child to say or do something that upset the boy without Asuka noticing, such as disparaging the First Child while Shinji was in the next room. Misato knew that Shinji felt highly protective of Rei, regardless of her reserved nature. His attempts to defend the First Child usually resulted in Asuka blowing up at him, and ended with both of them locking themselves in their rooms.

"Yes, Misato." Asuka wearily replied. "I'm pretty sure I would know if I had called him a Perversling or something."

Misato sighed and rubbed her forehead. She could see in Asuka's eyes that she was telling the truth, but why was Shinji so afraid of her now? He had never actively avoided Asuka, even when she was physically abusing him. The most he ever did was lock the door to his room, which would only last until Asuka started banging on the door and demanding he get up to make dinner.

The two of them looked up at the sky as a low growl of thunder sounded in the distance. Grey clouds were starting to pass overhead. They both swore under their breath at the prospect of getting caught in the rain. Asuka started walking down the street, waving at Misato to follow her.

"Come on," she said. "No point getting rained on while we're catching up. We'll go back to my place."

Misato snorted as she walked after the redhead. "Your place? Living in someone else's house now? Are you too good for my apartment or something?"

The redhead dismissively waved a hand in the air. "No, I just don't have a good idea of where we are yet. I've been staying in a gas station the idiot left me at before one of his disappearing acts. I can at least find my way back there, and it'll be easier than trying to find your apartment with rain this close."

"I suppose that makes sense, but... what was that about Shinji? He left you there?" asked Misato as she caught up to Asuka.

There was no reply from the girl. Misato almost repeated the question before Asuka spoke up, explaining how Shinji had suddenly run away from her when she had woken up on the beach, only to return and carry her to shelter just before a storm hit. "I was still half asleep at the time, and I thought he was Kaji taking me home. Heh, moron tried to sound like him too. That's what made me wake up."

Misato let out a small snicker at the thought of a deep-voiced Shinji. They walked in silence for a few minutes. Misato heard Asuka mutter something under her breath, but only caught "...needed him..." She placed an arm on the girl's shoulder, once again noticing Asuka twitch at the sudden contact.

"What was that about needing him, Asuka?" she innocently asked. The icy glare she received from the redhead made her stop in her tracks.

"I said 'where was that idiot when I needed him before?!'" The scream of rage made Misato back away from Asuka. "The bastard never showed up and I fucking died because of him! I waited for him to come help me! I put aside my pride for one freaking moment and begged for his assistance, but he didn't arrive until it was too damn late! I got torn apart by those SEELE monsters! They ate me, Misato! They ate me alive!"

The tirade made Misato freeze in horror while Asuka stormed off down the street. After a few seconds she unfroze and ran after the angry girl. "That... that makes no sense Asuka!" she exclaimed. "I put Shinji on the elevator to the cages while you were still killing the Mass-Production Evas!"

"Well he obviously chickened out or something," Asuka sneered. "Don't you remember when I'd killed all those Evas, and then they got back up?!" The sound of Misato's footsteps stopped, and Asuka turned to look at her. She saw Misato leaning against a wall with a hand covering her eyes.

"No... I don't remember that," Misato murmured. "The JSSDF attacked us and I got hit, but I managed to get Shinji to the elevator before I bled to death..." She decided not to mention that kiss and that promise. It would do nothing but disgust anyone who heard it.

"...Oh," was all Asuka could reply with. "Um... sorry Misato, I didn't know."

Misato waved a hand in dismissal as she started walking again. "Don't worry about it, Asuka. You had more important things to worry about. But what happened to Shinji? He should have been out there helping you. There was nothing wrong with the elevator, as far as I know."

"If I knew why he didn't show up, I wouldn't be this freaking angry at him," Asuka replied. "All I can think of was that he was too afraid to help."

Another distant roll of thunder sounded. The Major and the pilot looked at each other and started running. Despite Misato not having fully recovered from her return, she was easily able to keep up with Asuka, and they made it to the service station just as the first drops of rain started to fall.


The rain poured down outside. Third Impact had done the climate no favours, just like Second Impact, and it appeared as if Tokyo-3 was in for a long rainstorm. Inside the service station, Misato and Asuka sat around a small fire and ate their dinner, which consisted of carefully heated tins of baked beans. The smoke was starting to leave a stain on the ceiling by this point, but the air vent directly above the fire carried the worst of it away so the interior wasn't hazardous.

While they ate, the two girls were telling each other what they had experienced, and attempting to fill gaps in their memories. Asuka spoke of the end of her fight and what happened after she woke up on the beach, and Misato related her efforts to locate Shinji and get him to Unit-01 despite his lack of co-operation.

"When I found him, the JSSDF had reached him first," Misato said as she stared into the flickering fire. "One of them was holding a gun to his head, but Shinji... I can't believe I'm saying this... I think he looked grateful that he was about to die."

"Grateful?!" Asuka repeated with a disbelieving look.

"I didn't exactly have time to analyse him, Asuka, so I can't be sure. I ambushed the squad and killed them, and Shinji... he looked so upset that I'd saved him."

Asuka was surprised at Shinji's attitude, but couldn't work out why he was waiting to die. "What the hell happened while I was... gone?" she asked.

Misato sighed as she recalled the days before Third Impact. "After you ran away, Shinji spent every waking moment trying to find you. He barely spoke to me any longer, and he would sometimes stay out until midnight. Every night he would come home utterly tired and even more despondent than the day before." She smiled a little. "When you were eventually discovered, he was almost ecstatic, but then he found out you were in a coma. That seemed to break something inside him, and he fell even deeper into depression. It took the arrival of the Fifth Child, Kaworu Nagisa, to get any real response out of him, and Shinji latched onto him like a drowning person reaching for a life preserver."

"Speaking of which, who the hell was this Fifth Child person?" Asuka asked. "I remember seeing that name on one of the grave markers, but I don't remember ever hearing of him."

"He was... well... your replacement, since you were out of action," sighed Misato. "I wish those SEELE bastards had kept him though."

"What made you say that? He didn't break something did he? Was he worse than Shinji at piloting?"

Misato frowned slightly at Asuka's tone, before returning her gaze to the fire. "I guess you could say he broke something. Turns out Kaworu Nagisa was the Seventeenth Angel. He-"

"What the fuck?! SEELE sent us an Angel?!" Asuka interrupted angrily. "And just who the hell is SEELE, anyway?"

"SEELE is the true name of the Instrumentality Committee. They were the people officially in charge of our funding in the war against the Angels, and then they sent us one themselves. An angel disguised as a teenage boy. I wish I could have realised what was wrong when he synced so perfectly on his first try."

Misato tactfully left out the detail of Kaworu being tested in Unit-02. Asuka was fiercely protective of her Evangelion, and hated the thought of anyone else even being near the entry plug. "Shinji quickly became friends with him. The two of them spent all their time around each other. I don't know exactly what happened, but I saw Shinji actually start to cheer up a bit. Since nearly everyone had moved away from Tokyo-3 for their own safety, he didn't even have those friends of yours at school to be with."

Asuka folded her arms. "Hmph, so he made a new friend that turned out to be an Angel. I suppose he tried to to kill Shinji?"

Misato lay back on a blanket and stared up at the ceiling. Several long seconds passed before she continued. "No, it was something much worse. Kaworu stole your Eva. He somehow activated it without even being in the entry plug, and took it down to Terminal Dogma. Shinji was forced to subdue Unit-02 before he could chase after him. A powerful AT-Field blocked our view of what happened, unfortunately, but Shinji managed to kill Kaworu. When he got out of Unit-01... he looked almost dead on his feet. He saved the world, but had to kill his only friend to do it."

They quietly finished their meal as Asuka digested both the food and the conversation. "Did this Angel do something to make Shinji like him?" she asked. "Did this Kaworu freak mess with his head like... like what happened to me?" Her voice dropped as the memory of the Fifteenth Angel's attack surfaced in both their minds.

"No, nothing like that. There were no signs of mental contamination in Shinji, and Unit-01 only received minor damage from Unit-02. I don't think there was even a real fight between Shinji and Nagisa. The only sign of anything happening was a bloodstain on its hand from where Shinji apparently crushed his body. I don't think Kaworu evened bothered to resist."

"No struggle, huh? Did the Angel want to die or something?"

Misato shrugged. "That's the only thing we could think of, Asuka. Shinji refused to tell us what happened, and there wasn't enough time to find out anyway. The JSSDF attacked pretty much the next day because SEELE apparently told them a lie about us wanting to start Third Impact, and the army went in to 'save the world'."

"Yeah, I woke up in the middle of that mess. I trashed the JSSDF, then the MP-Evas showed up. I beat them, then..." Asuka stroked her right arm again. "...then they got up and killed me..."

Misato finally decided to speak up about Asuka's arm. The girl had been almost constantly rubbing it as they sat around the fire. "Did you hurt yourself or something?" she asked, pointing at Asuka's arm.

"I suppose you could say that," Asuka looked through the fire at Misato. "It's one of the last things I remember before I... died. You know how I told you about what happened after the MP-Evas got up?" Misato nodded. "I don't know how high my sync ratio was, but it must have been well over a hundred percent. That first spear, I could feel it in my own face. It was the worst pain I'd ever felt while piloting. My own eye was gone. I could feel my blood pouring through my fingers as I held them over the socket." The girl started shivering, despite the warmth of the fire. "When the second spear pierced my Eva's arm, I watched as my own arm mirrored it. That's pretty much the last thing I remember clearly before waking up on the beach."

One of the biggest problems with Evangelion synchronisation was that as the pilot's sync ratio increased, their control over the gigantic machines became more precise, but they felt any damage that the Evangelion received. At high enough levels, the pilot's body would receive a blow as if the injury had happened directly to them.

Misato knew she would never have been able to pilot an Evangelion. That didn't stop her from wishing she had been in the girl's position purely so that she wouldn't have had to suffer like she did.

"I see," the woman finally replied. "Is that the reason you keep stroking that arm? The memory of the injury?"

"Sort of. I already mentioned that I awoke with the bandages over the injuries I sustained in that fight. This morning I took them off my arm, and... well... you can see that nothing's wrong with it." Asuka rolled up the sleeve and showed Misato the unmarred arm. "But for some reason whenever I exert it too much, like throwing something, it starts aching terribly."

"Damn. It's too bad Rits isn't here, she'd probably be able to tell you what's wrong with it."

They both sat in silence for several minutes. Asuka finally spoke up, seeming to struggle to find the words. "M-Misato... you might think this sounds crazy but... my mother was in Unit-02. I woke up while the JSSDF were bombing the lake, and... my mother was there. She was with me, helping me fight up until the lance went through my Eva's face. Then... she... left me again..."

The lack of response from Misato at this statement drew Asuka's attention to the Major. Misato was staring at nothing, arms hugging her knees to her chest with a pensive expression on her face

"Misato? Do you know something?" The redhead grew angry. "Were you keeping the fact that my mother was in Unit-02 from me?!"

As if she had been electrocuted, Misato jumped at the accusation. She turned her gaze to Asuka for a moment, before looking away again. "No, Asuka," she finally replied with a sigh. "I wasn't keeping it from you, I just found out too late. I was hacking into the MAGI just before the attack, and I found out everything NERV was keeping from us, like Commander Ikari and SEELE's true goal, and what was hidden in Terminal Dogma. I also discovered the truth behind the death of your mother as well as Shinji's."

"My mother hung herself, Misato. I know what happened." Asuka glared at Misato.

"Yes, but it's what happened before that that led to her suicide. Do you remember what your mother was doing before she forgot who you were?"

"Well... no. Some experiment involving Unit-02. I was too young to remember specifics now."

"Kyoko was performing a Contact Experiment. The details are all too science-y for me, but I assume it's something like an activation test. Something went wrong though, and Kyoko's soul was... split, I suppose. The body survived, but her mind was destroyed by the process." Misato stared across the fire into Asuka's eyes. "That was why your mother no longer knew who you were, Asuka. And that was why she killed herself."

Asuka's vision shimmered as tears threatened to escape. As a young girl, she had been forced to watch her own mother start lavishing attention on rag dolls that she called Asuka, instead of her real daughter. The redhead vividly remembered running down a hallway and opening a door, only to find her mother hanging from the ceiling, a partially decapitated doll swinging next to her. She shook her head and tried to force the memories and nightmares away. They would be dealt with later. A question sprang to the front of her mind.

"Wait, you mentioned Shinji's mother as well. Did the same thing happen to her?"

"Sort of. Yui Ikari was the first person to attempt a Contact Experiment with an Evangelion." Misato shuddered. "I saw the recordings of the incident. There wasn't even a body left, just the suit she was wearing in the entry plug. She was fully absorbed into Unit-01's core, similar to how your mother's soul was partially integrated into Unit-02."

The woman continued, voice distant and eyes unfocused. "It's only a miracle that Shinji doesn't seem to remember that day. He was only three or four years old then. Seeing his own mother die right in front of his eyes at such a young age... I wouldn't wish that on anybody."

A gasp of surprise burst out of Asuka's mouth. "Mein Gott," she whispered. She had 'merely' walked in on her mother after she had died. But Shinji had been forced to watch it happen. "Is that why Shinji is so..." She trailed off, unable to find the right word to describe the Third Child's behaviour.

Misato gave another shrug. "I'm no psychiatrist, Asuka, but that probably had something to do with it. All he knows is that his mother died mysteriously. Oh, and if losing his mother wasn't bad enough, the day after the incident Gendo dropped his son off at a train station and left." The major's face twisted into a scowl. "That bastard didn't even try to comfort him, he just abandoned Shinji right after he lost his mother. In the ten years since, the only time they saw each other was at Yui's grave."

The scowl turned into a small smile as Asuka flung several angry German curses at the late Commander of NERV. She knew what most of them were, and Gendo Ikari certainly deserved them all and more. It took a few minutes for Asuka to finally run out of insults.

"That asshole has a lot to answer for if he ever comes back," Asuka finished as she ran out of breath.

Misato snorted in derision. "That's not likely to happen. Ikari's probably exactly where he wants to be now. His ultimate goal was to be reunited with his wife, and now that he's in that fantasy land, he won't want to return."

"Fantasy land? You mean that place you found yourself in where you were 'hanging out' with Kaji?" Asuka's exaggerated finger quotes displayed that the redhead knew exactly what the two of them had likely been doing.

"Exactly." Misato ignored the unspoken accusation. "Right now the entire world is... stuck in the sea, I guess you could say. Each of them in their own perfect little reality..."

"But you came back. Will the rest of humanity return too?"

"Well the fact that you and I are here is proof that people can leave. Kaji... he told me that humanity could return." Misato shrugged. "What's to stop everyone deciding to leave?"

"Hang on, I don't recall living in a perfect world. All I can remember is an incredibly vague dream about... orange." Asuka's dreams the last few nights had always returned to that vision. Orange everywhere she looked, and a sense of ultimate comfort.

"Sorry Asuka. I don't know what's different about you, but you're here now." Misato chuckled. "Maybe your world wasn't worth staying in."

"Great, a supposedly perfect fantasy world that I somehow hated. Just my luck." Asuka rolled her eyes at the unfairness. She let out a loud yawn. "Well, it's late. I want to go out early tomorrow and start searching for Shinji again, so let's get to sleep."

Misato looked up at the clock on the wall, which showed that the time was nearly midnight. She started getting comfortable in the borrowed blankets. "Good idea. He's lost and alone out there," she said as she also yawned, before pointing a determined finger at Asuka. "Look, I don't care what's happened between you two to scare off Shinji, but I want my boy back."

Asuka almost retorted that she hadn't done anything, but she was too tired now to formulate a response. Instead, she curled up in her sleeping back and zipped it up, trapping as much warmth as possible.

"Goodnight, Asuka."

"G'night..."

Misato laid back on the floor. 'I will find him, Kaji,' she thought. 'And not even a Fourth Impact will stop me now.' If Asuka had still been looking, she would have noticed the steel in Misato's eyes and seen the same expression the Major had worn while fighting the Angels. The two of them quickly drifted off to sleep, both dreaming of the same young boy.