Disclaimer: All recognizable Twilight characters belong to S. Meyer. I however own "White Carpets and Wall Sconces."
Edward's
Point of View
It
was pitch black. I could barely see the hand in front of my face, but
I was acutely aware that I was spinning. Spinning and spinning and
spinning. The only noise was a strange static in my ears. I wanted to
close my eyes, but they felt like they were glued open. They felt
dry; I tried to blink, but it felt like there was sandpaper coating
my eyelids. My hands hurt from the clenching, but what I was
clenching on I wasn't sure; all I could concentrate on was the
spinning. My head was whipping around behind my body, unable to keep
up. And then, as quickly as it had started, the spinning stopped, and
the sound echoing in my ears was no longer the static, but the
remains of a blood curdling scream.
I
sat up, panting, my body covered in a cold sweat, my muscles tight
and painful. What the fuck was that all about? I rubbed my face and
sat up, feeling uneasy and wishing I had someone to hold onto. I
brought myself into full consciousness. Bella! I reached over to find
her spot empty and cold. But if she wasn't there, where was she?
And who had screamed? I felt my breathing speed up. Had Bella
screamed? Why was she screaming?
I reached around in the dark for
my cell phone and checked the time. Four-thirty-one. Fuck. Bella was
at home. I was alone. And very sweaty.
I rose shakily from my bed
and grabbed a clean pair of boxers before heading for the shower. The
shower in the bathroom where I'd first met Bella, where I'd
fucked her senseless on the carpet. Carpet in the bathroom; my
mother's one major oddity. She always said that she hated having
cold feet after a warm bath, and insisted we carpet the bathrooms in
this house as well. Only the one downstairs was left tiled. Alice's
bathroom had pink shag carpet which was positively painful to look
at. I was almost glad she didn't let anyone use it. Poor
Jasper.
Jasper really was alright. He seemed pretty cool and pretty in
tune with everything that went on around us, and pretty into Alice,
which was awesome. As much as I despised the frat boy image I could
almost see myself as friends with Jasper.
I wasn't completely
comfortable with how much I'd told him, but I didn't think I'd
told him enough for him to draw too many conclusions. He only knew
enough to understand that Edward Cullen hadn't always been a cold
hearted bastard. No, there was a time when I was considered
compassionate and charismatic and loving. I'd been responsible and
kind and above all else, I'd
had her.
No one had ever replaced Charlotte, no one ever would. She gave me
things that no one else could give me, but she'd also taken things
away, things that could never be replaced. She'd shattered my
heart, and I blamed myself, because I couldn't blame her, wouldn't
blame her. I couldn't think that way about someone I had felt so
strongly for. Love is a strong feeling, one I never thought I would
feel in any form again.
I turned the shower on as hot as I could
stand and stripped my pajama pants off, leaving them in a pile in the
corner. I tested the water once more and climbed in, letting the
steam waft over my sticky body. I couldn't stop shivering as I
hunched my shoulders and wrapped my arms around myself, trying to
hold myself together. I felt one rogue tear squeeze from my eye and I
clamped my eyes tightly shut. I would not cry again. I wished it were
that easy though. I felt a sob rip from my chest and realized there
was no way to keep it in. I shook violently as sob after sob ripped
from my body and my face was raw with tears and the hot water was
making my face burn, but I didn't move, because I deserved the
burning.
Everything was my fault.
How Bella even stood to look at me I didn't know. But she didn't
know, and perhaps that was why. Or perhaps she's a loving,
wonderful person who can see past flaws and…well, the past, a
little voice in the back of my mind argued. I pushed it away. There
was no way that she could like the real Edward Cullen. The real
Edward Cullen was just a shell of the Edward Cullen who had loved;
the real Edward Cullen had lost.
I let the water wash over me a
little longer before I dried off and pulled my boxers on. I brushed
my teeth vigorously and crawled back into bed, drifting into a fitful
slumber.
Bella's
Point of View
"You're
sorry! That's all you have to say? That you're sorry? Bella, I
thought you were my friend. You spied on me. You lied to me, and you
didn't even have the decency to face up to it. For fuck sake, what
has gotten into you? You are not the girl I became best friends with,
you're a monster. How could you do that to me and Josh? And Edward
Cullen! Ooh, I don't even know where to begin on that front. What
were you thinking? You know all about him, and yet you're
canoodling around in the middle of the night with him like it's the
most normal thing in the world. Do you not think?"
I'd
never seen Jess this mad before. Her dark hair was sticking out at
all angles, making her look a little like Medusa, and her face was
red and puffy from her tears. Her tiny hands were clenched to the
point where I was sure her nails were going to break the skin.
"Jess,
I'm…"
"No," she choked, putting her hand up to
silence me. "No." She shook her head looking broken. "Fuck
Bella, why did you do it?" She leaned against the couch and
stared at me, unblinking.
"I…" I looked at my shoes.
Of course she was right. We shouldn't have stayed; we should have
let them know we were here. But damn it, it was my apartment too. "I
just wanted to get my stuff. I thought you were asleep."
Her
eyes shot daggers in my direction. "Why was he with you? God,
you know how much I hate him." She flexed her fingers and then
balled them back into fists.
"Um…well…" I looked up
at her through my eyelashes nervously. "We're um…well…kind
of…um…" I rang my hands. How was I supposed to tell her that
Edward and I were together? She despised him. She despised him on
principle though, only because of whom he associated with and the
rumours swirling around him. "You don't really know him Jess,"
I tried.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she snapped.
I gulped.
"Well…it means that…I'm seeing Edward
Cullen?" I cowered in fear of her reaction.
"You're
what?" Her voice had reached decibels almost unable to be heard
by human ears. "Seeing
him as in seeing him? Are
you crazy? He's…he's….Uuuughhhh" she screamed, throwing
her hands in the air. "I don't want to hear about it! I don't
want to look at you. I'm going to bed!" She stomped off to her
room. "Don't you ever bring him here," she shrieked once
more, before slamming the door in my face.
I twisted my fingers
into my hair and pulled, trying to smother the scream that was
threatening to escape my lips. Unreasonable was an understatement. I
wanted to scream, and cry, and at the same time, laugh hysterically
at her reaction. I sighed loudly, put a bag of microwave popcorn in,
and stood in front of the microwave, watching the bag rotate and blow
up, mindlessly watching as the air puffed it up, and trying to ignore
Jessica's muffled sobs. The microwave beeped and I pulled the bag
out by my finger tips and gasped at the temperature. I dumped the
snack in a big bowl and headed for my bedroom, closing the door and
sinking into the bed, mouth overflowing with the salty corn.
I
closed my eyes and chewed, thinking about Jess's reaction. What
would she say if she knew how I truly felt about Edward? She'd
probably have me admitted to the nearest insane asylum. I understood
where she was coming from regarding our walking in on them. In
fairness, I wouldn't have wanted that to happen to me, but she was
being completely unreasonable about Edward himself.
It was true
that only a few days ago I would have thought the same thing, but I
had been willing to look past the exterior. I had always prided
myself on being a relatively open person. I was open, and yet Edward
was a closed book. There was something he wasn't sharing and I
wasn't sure how I felt about it. Perhaps it was too early for him
to tell, but I didn't like the fact that he was obviously hiding
something, and from the sounds of it, something big. It seemed to be
a big secret; Alice had made that much clear.
************************************************************************
School
the next morning seemed to drag. I wanted to see Edward; I'd never
been quite so excited for lunch before, but the prospect of dining
with Edward to look at sounded like a pretty good option. I called
him as soon as my last class of the morning ended and he promised to
meet me in front of the administration building in ten minutes.
Twelve and a half minutes later, (I swear I wasn't counting) he
caught up to me tapping my foot impatiently and reading a bulletin
board.
"Good afternoon Bella Swan," he whispered close
to my ear. I nearly jumped out of my skin.
"Hi," I
squeaked, turning to face him and clearing my throat. "Hi,"
I tried again, smiling up at him. I was completely oblivious to the
people around us, but he wasn't.
"I think people think
you're crazy," he said quietly, lopsided grin plastered to his
face. I looked around. It was true; people were looking at us rather
oddly. It was a tribute to how much of a reputation Edward Cullen
really had.
"I might be," I told him with a wink. "Do
you want to get going?" I took his hand. Frankly, I'd decided
that I didn't care what people thought. If they were going to judge
me, then that was their problem. It was a big school. "Where are
we going?"
He shrugged nonchalantly. "There's a little
café by the water, it has soups, chowders and whatever. You
in?"
"Sounds good," I agreed as we walked toward
the parking lot. "Can I drive?"
He paused mid-step and
clenched the muscles in his jaw. I saw him blink his eyes slowly.
"Sure," he said a little too calmly. He relaxed into an
easy gait again, obviously not showing how he really
felt, but didn't say anything more about it as he climbed into the
passenger's seat of the truck.
"I missed you last night,"
he told me as I backed out of the spot. I smiled to myself. "What
did Jessica say?"
I winced. "She didn't take it very
well," I told him with a frown. "Actually, she took it very
badly."
"Ah." He pinched his nose between his thumb
and forefinger and closed his eyes. "Is this going to be too
hard?"
"What? No! No, she'll come around." I
reached over and rubbed my hand on his knee soothingly. "Don't
worry about Jess; she's always been a little hot headed. She did
say not to bring you over though."
"That's alright,"
he said with a smirk. "My place is bigger."
We got to
the restaurant relatively quickly considering noon time traffic in
Seattle and found a seat by the window. We discussed school for a
while, and of course, why Jessica disliked him.
When the soup
came he took a bite and then looked at me seriously.
"What?"
I broke a piece of baguette apart and popped a piece in my mouth.
"Do
you have plans for Valentine's day?"
I swallowed hard and
looked him straight in the eye. Was he joking? We barely knew each
other. Okay, well that wasn't completely true, I felt
like
I'd known Edward forever, but still, Valentine's Day was a big
deal, and I wasn't really the Valentine's Day type to begin with.
"No," I shook my head.
"Do you want to do something with me?" He looked like a small child, hopeful but nervous.
"Okay," I replied quietly, looking down at my bowl.
"Is it too soon?" He studied his spoon in great detail. I just shook my head. "It's a while away, I know." I nodded again in agreement. We had over a week. "I just wanted to, you know, have time to plan something special." I nodded once more. I wasn't sure what to say. "Are you coming over tonight? Alice wanted to make dinner."
"Sure," I agreed, taking another bite of soup. "That sounds perfect."
The rest of lunch passed without incident, as did the rest of the day, and I couldn't help but be a little excited about the prospect of Valentine's Day with Edward. He insisted on driving to his place and, like before, was just as nervous as possible. It was frustrating.
Man, could Alice cook? She served some sort of chicken pie with dumplings and it was by far the best thing I'd eaten in years. Edward's family was a lot of fun. Emmett was boisterous and mouthy, telling stories and gossiping like an old woman. Alice was sweet, but it was obvious she ran them all. I'd never seen anyone so little establish such control. Jasper seemed like a part of the family already, even though he and Alice had only been dating a couple of months. Rosalie, I wasn't sure of. She seemed nice enough, but sort of in a cold, distant way. She seemed to be perpetually bored.
"Bella?" Alice's voice broke through my thoughts.
"Yes?" I settled my fork and knife on my plate.
"Do you want to come upstairs with Rose and I? The boys will clean up." She shot her brothers and Jasper a warning look and they all nodded glumly. I looked at Edward and he nodded with a tiny smile.
"Sure," I replied, somewhat warily.
She clapped her hands gleefully, a wicked smile playing on her face and rose from the table. I wondered what she had in store. "Come on Rose!"
Rosalie rose gracefully from her chair and headed for the stairs, followed by a bouncing Alice dragging me by the hand. I sent Edward a fleeting look and climbed the stairs.
"So," Alice said, closing the door behind me and pointing toward the bed. "Sit." I obliged. What choice did I have? Rosalie sat on the rolling chair by Alice's desk looking bored and examining her nails.
"Don't scare the poor girl Al," Rose said monotonously.
"I won't." Alice promised, kneeling on the bed beside me and bouncing. I wasn't sure what to make of this side of Alice. "You're not scared, are you Bella?"
"I don't think so," I said uncertainly.
"See Rose, you need to give me some credit."
Rose looked up from her nails and locked her eyes with mine. "We just wanted to talk to you," she said, still in monotone. She forced a smile that didn't quite meet her eyes.
"Alright," I agreed, still wondering what was happening.
"What's going on between you and my brother?" Alice crossed her arms and glowered at me. What was her problem?
"Alice, I told you already."
She waved my comment aside. "Tell Rosalie, please."
I met Rosalie's cold, blue eyes again and gulped. "Edward would like for us to be exclusive." I made big air quotes around exclusive, still wondering why this girl cared.
Her eyes never changed, but her mouth fell open only for a split second before she snapped it shut, dragging the corners down in a thoughtful frown. "Really…" she said, musing. She cupped her chin with her finger tips and cocked her head to the side slightly. "And what did you say?"
"I think we've agreed on it."
"Ah ah, what did you say?" Alice interjected.
I sighed and Rose looked at me expectantly. She looked a bit more relaxed. "I told him that he satisfied me," I said meekly.
She almost cracked a smile. "Oh," was her only response.
"He asked me about Valentine's Day today," I continued.
Alice squeaked. Rosalie gasped. I stared at them both in confusion.
"He's never-" Rosalie started.
"Not since…" Alice trailed off.
"What?" I asked, not sure what they were getting at.
"Well, he's not really the romantic holiday type," Rose covered. Alice was still in shock, obviously she knew something we didn't.
"What is it Alice?"
She shook her head. "I can't."
"We're all getting ready together," Rose informed me. "You'll come here and get ready." She was very take charge, no nonsense. "No arguments. You will get ready with us." I'd barely opened my mouth, but I snapped it shut again and nodded.
Alice let out one of her little girly squeals and clapped her hands together excitedly. "I'm so glad Edward met you. We're going to be such good friends!"
