A/N: Thanks to my awesome betas! Again, I'm so sorry for the wait…I hope everyone had a good holiday.
Disclaimer: All recognizable Twilight characters belong to S. Meyer. I however own "White Carpets and Wall Sconces."
"Edward Cullen." A voice I would recognize anywhere snapped me into consciousness and I heard the bedroom door swing open, flooding my normally dark room with light from the hall. "There had best be a damn good reason for the call I received from your sister; she was hysterical."
I sat up in bed and squinted into the light. "Mom?"
"Yes, it's Mom." I heard her heels click on the hard wood floor as she looked around the room and shook her head in disgust. "I think we need to talk." She sat down on my bed near my feet and looked at me expectantly.
"Why?" I knew I was being sullen, but I really didn't want to talk to my mother.
"Because I just flew from Chicago to see what was wrong with my beloved son." She patted my foot softly and gave it a squeeze. "Come now Edward. Tell me what's wrong."
I sighed. "It's nothing... just stupid stuff." My mother always made me feel like I was ten years old again. I was going to kill Alice for calling her.
"Alice tells me you have a girlfriend."
I gulped and closed my eyes. I did not want to get into this with my mother. "I think, did, in the past tense, is more accurate." I told her, hoping she would drop it.
"Oh Edward," she cooed, rubbing my foot soothingly. "What happened?"
She looked at me with those big, green eyes, her mouth settled in a bee sting pout. My mother didn't look a day over thirty, and yet she was in her mid forties. I stared back at her, seeing myself mirrored in her face. The others looked like my father, but I looked like my mother; tall, thin and a bit angular like her as well.
I could deny my mother nothing. She could read me even if I tried hard not to let her. I felt the need to tell her everything. It was like a power she had over me.
I sighed deeply and sat up against the headboard. "Everything was great. We got along so well. I took her out for Valentine's day." I ignored the shocked look on my mother's face and continued. "Everything was going great. We came back here and…" I paused, looking at the floor. "I completely freaked out."
"About what?" My mother had the most soothing voice in the whole world. She could get anyone to tell her anything.
"She was looking through my things and she was playing the melody line of Charlotte's song."
My mother let out a long breath. "I can understand why that hurt, sweetheart." She rubbed my foot, but didn't come closer. She knew me so well.
I shook my head. "I hadn't told her about Charlotte" I admitted, my eyes downcast.
"Was she the type of girl you should have told about Charlotte?"
I studied my mother's face, looking for some sort of clue as to where she was going. How much does she know? "What has Alice told you?" I tried to sound fierce and angry, but everything about me was tired. I was tired of pretending, and I was tired of the pain I was feeling. I was tired of people butting into my life. I was tired of laying awake thinking, and I was so tired of being alone.
"She is worried," my mother told me. "She told me you had a girlfriend and that it was going well, and now you're locked in your room and threatening to do reckless things. Edward, she has left me in the dark, except to insist I fly here to see you."
I looked up again and took a deep breath. "I should have told Bella about Charlotte a while ago. I kept meaning to, but the time was never right. I didn't know how to bring it up. How do you bring something like that up?" I felt the hot, sting of tears teasing my eyes and I blinked furiously. "I love her Mom, I love her so much." I gulped, trying to break apart the lump in my throat. "But loving her feels like I'm abandoning Charlotte. I swore I'd never stop loving her. I swore she'd be the only one I loved."
My mother clucked her tongue thoughtfully. "Edward," she started softly. I felt her cool fingertips lift my chin so that my eyes met hers. "You won't ever stop loving Charlotte." Her voice was soft and reminiscent, but not sad. "But that does not mean you are destined to loneliness." She clasped my chin almost roughly between her thin fingers. "Do you think Charlotte is lonely?"
I raised my eyebrows at her incredulously. "What?"
"Think about it."
"She's…."I couldn't bring myself to say what I wanted to say so I shook my head free of my mother's grasp."I shouldn't love Bella, I shouldn't, but I do. And even though I do, she can never become a part of the world that Charlotte was a part of. That is private." My voice was barely a hiss. "She is not welcome there."
My mother rose and ran her fingers along the keys on my keyboard. "Play for me," her voice was commanding. I shook my head. I watched as she deliberately pressed the power key. "I want to hear you play." Her fingers flew over a quick major scale.
"I'm not playing."
"Stop sulking." Her fingers found their spots on the keys and a beautiful melody sang from my makeshift piano.
"What is that?" I knew my music and it was one I had never heard before. She smiled sadly in my direction.
"I wrote it for your father when we were first married. I haven't played it in years."
I couldn't help but stare at her. I had no idea my mother had composed anything. "I had no idea," I told her.
She laughed hollowly. "You had to get it from somewhere my sweet. And lord knows your father is a fabulous man, but gifted in the arts he is not. A bit like Emmett, really."
"Alice is hardly musically inclined herself," I added.
My mother laughed a bit harder this time as her fingers became heavier on the keys. "No, but she does have a flare for the dramatic. As do you, my darling."
As quickly as the music began, it stopped and my mother lifted the sheet music off the keyboard. Her fingers rifled through it at an alarming rate and she peeled two sheets off the back. "What is this?" She held up the papers, half erased, notes scratched in every spare piece of space. Her eyes focused in on the music. Her fingers reached out to the keyboard, but she stopped short. She extended her hand with the pages out to me. "Play for me," she demanded.
I stared her down for a moment, my dark green eyes boring into her paler ones. I felt my eyebrows crease in the middle and watched hers mirror them. A smile twitched the left side of her mouth and I sighed deeply, taking the pages in my finger tips and rising from the bed. I laid the pages on the keyboard and positioned my fingers slowly over the keys. I looked at my mother again and she smiled an encouraging smile. I nodded back abruptly and forced myself to play the first note. At first my fingers pressed the keys purposefully, meaningfully, forcing the notes. I couldn't help but cringe at the forced sound. Slowly I relaxed into the rhythm, letting my fingers glide effortlessly across the keys, eyes half shut. I let the music flow from my fingertips, soft and lilting, slowly becoming more complex, until I was no longer playing off the page but from my mind. Every thought I had transferred to my fingers. Every emotion was played out in the music.
I have no idea how long I played before coming up for air, but when I did, my mother was no longer in the room, the door was only slightly ajar, and I felt immeasurably better. My head was clearer, like the fog had been lifted. I knew what I had to do.
************************************************************
"Edward! Where are you going?" Alice was flapping like a mother hen, hurrying behind me, yelping as her bare feet hit the snow covered front step. My mother was close behind.
"Edward, you can't just leave!" They both sounded frantic.
"I'll be back in a couple of days," I told them, leaning out of my car to see them more clearly. "I have things I need to clear up. Things I need to make right." My mother came up to the car and smiled.
"Where are you going?"
Bella's Point of View
I decided that I should listen to my messages. It really was time. It had been four, agonizingly long days. I sat on the couch staring at my cell phone, truly alone for the first time since that fateful night. Angela had gone home to Ben, once convinced I really was going to be alright, and Jessica had gone to lunch with Josh.
The one from my mother was normal. Just checking in, wondering if I was going to come home for spring break, or if she should make plans. I made a note to call her back and tell her I'd probably be home. I would save that call for later. The message from Mike was short and sweet. Wondering if I wanted to meet with some friends for drinks Saturday night. Obviously that one could be deleted. The first one from Alice froze me.
"Bella, its Alice. Can you call me back? We don't know what happened. Edward won't speak to us. Emmett is trying to talk to him. I'm scared. This is not normal Edward behaviour."
The next one was just as bad.
"Bella? Are you okay? There are things you should know. Things Edward needs to tell you. You need to come back. Please don't leave. I hope you're okay. Call me back."
There were a few others from Alice, mostly the same, asking me to call her, becoming more and more frantic each time. Could the girl not take a hint?
The last message was from the number I hadn't recognized. I wasn't sure who it was or why they were calling, but I listened all the same.
"Bella, its Rosalie. I got your number from Alice. I hate to butt into personal business, but I think you should call Edward. I'm not sure who was in the wrong. Maybe both of you, maybe neither of you. I'm not sure it matters. We're not stupid. We can all see how much you care about each other. He has too much pride, but I really think he's working on it. I feel a bit stupid talking to a message like this, but you're obviously not answering your phone. Just…don't give up a good thing, ok?"
I stared dumb founded at the phone before snapping it shut. A good thing? Was she right? Were Edward and I being too stubborn to acknowledge what we had? Was it a good thing? I leaned my head back on the sofa and closed my eyes. Of course I knew it was a good thing. If it hadn't been I wouldn't be hurting so much. I missed him terribly. The way he smiled at me when he met me after class. The way he smirked when he was trying to conceal his excitement. The way he kissed me and how it was warm and encompassing and how felt like home. How there was always that perfect balance of familiarity and excitement. I missed his laugh. I missed how he smelled. Of course I missed the sex; I'd be outright lying to say I wasn't. But I missed more than that. I missed Edward, I missed his dynamic. I missed the way he made me feel.
But who was I kidding? He obviously did not feel the same way. He obviously did not miss me one bit. He hadn't called, he probably hadn't even thought of me. He was probably out with another girl while I sat pathetically on my couch missing him.
I threw the phone across the room and it clattered to the floor, the noise deafening in the quiet apartment. I slapped my face, trying to snap myself out of my stupor. I had to get out of the apartment. I needed to move on with my life. I needed to get back into the swing of school. And I needed to speak with Rosalie.
Not with Alice. Alice was not who I needed right now. I needed Rosalie and her blunt, straightforward outlook.
After retrieving my phone, I searched my missed calls for her number and took a deep breath.
"Hello?"
"Rosalie? It's Bella."
*************************************************************
I met Rosalie in a Starbucks downtown; she'd already ordered and was sitting at a table in the corner when I got there. She raised one hand in greeting and went back to reading the news paper she'd picked up while I ordered and made my way over.
"Hi Bella," she said somberly, folding the paper neatly and placing it to the side. She sipped her coffee thoughtfully and tilted her head.
"Hi," I replied, examining the wood grain pattern on the table.
"What did you need to talk about?" She held her mug close to her face, looking over it, her grey eyes wide with expectation.
"I got your message," I told her, wrapping my hands around my cup and reveling in the heat burning my palms. I felt like it was the first thing I'd truly felt in days. "I guess I wanted to talk to you about it." She nodded thoughtfully and motioned for me to continue. "You think I should call him?"
She placed her cup in front of her. "That's what I said, isn't it?" her voice was hard, like the old Rosalie, the first Rosalie I'd met, but her eyes were softer. I looked at her, a bit taken aback by her tone. "He's hurting Bella," she told me in a softer voice. "But it's not my business."
"Has he…said anything?" I tapped my finger nails on the china of my mug, waiting for her response.
"If you just wanted gossip, you should have called Alice" she snapped, turning to look out the window at the grey streets of Seattle.
"That's not what I meant," I managed to stutter. Rosalie made me nervous at the best of times, her snippy attitude only made it worse, not that I blamed her. "You said not to waste a good thing," I continued. She snapped her head back around to face me.
"Yes," she said slowly. "I suppose I did."
"You think it was a good thing?" I gulped, pulling my eyes away from hers and waiting.
"It doesn't matter what I think. What do you think?"
I stared at my hands, trying to find the right words. "I miss him," I finally whispered, my voice sounding strange, even to myself. "I'm so stupid."
"No," Rosalie said, sounding just the tiniest bit sympathetic. "Edward is a complicated man." She shook her head and smiled. "But you didn't answer my question."
I gave her a quizzical look.
"Do you think it was a good thing?" She sipped her coffee once more and smirked at me.
I thought for a moment, and then I looked up to meet her eyes. "I'd never felt so comfortable, so happy in all of my life. It was like when I was with him, I was home. I was warm and I felt like I was…well, loved. Like I was worth something. Like someone honestly believed that I was wonderful. He made me want to laugh and cry at the same time." She smiled a tight smile and nodded slightly. "I think it was a great thing," I told her, realizing that a tear was running down my cheek. I wiped it quickly away and shook my head. My face was hot and clammy, and my hands would not stay still.
"I think you need to talk to him." She rose from her seat and picked up her purse. "Now." She motioned for me to follow her and I climbed into my truck. I turned right out of the parking lot and headed toward Edward's. His Volvo wasn't in the driveway, but I took the chance anyway. I parked and hurried up the walk. My footsteps clacked against the cement. I stopped at the door and knocked.
"Bella!" Alice nearly knocked me over as she jumped on me to give me a hug.
"Hi Alice," I said tentatively. "Is Edward here?" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, her face falling. "What's wrong?" Cold fear flooded through me. He had found someone else.
"Bella, Edward is gone." I stared blatantly back at her.
"Gone? Gone where? For how long?"
Alice shook her head. "A few days he says, but I'm not really sure." I sighed heavily. I wanted to talk to him now. I needed to talk to him now.
"Where did he go?"
Alice looked at me sadly. "Chicago."
