Chapter 3: Vade Retro Satanas!

Mao was playing chess against Lelouch on a funicular. It was really amusing, Mao thought, because his opponent couldn't win against him in his favorite game. Because Mao could read his mind, he could hear everything Lelouch had planned for this match.

'Damn, he's good. If I move my Rook this way, he'll think that I'll try to take down one of his pawns to create an opening, and then … FUCK YOU SCHNEIZEL! FUCK! YOU!'

Mao widened his eyes.

"What." He said dumbly. "Is wrong with you."

Lelouch didn't hear him. He just put his head in his hands and thought quickly and angrily.

'Dammit! I forgot this fucker had a FLEIJA warhead installed on the Mordred. This stupid FLEIJA is annoying as hell! Every time I go back after the Black Rebellion I have to go to Dallas in order to stop its creation! That nuclear bomb is freaking annoying!'

Mao tilted his head. "Really?"

'In two thousand fucking years, the only thing that managed to kill me was this damn FLEIJA and my father's stupid Ragnarok! And my boredom, also… Oh, it would've been much simpler if killing God would end my curse, but the only thing it does is to bring me back again in time. Where am I, by the way?'

Lelouch looked at the surroundings, and then at Mao.

Suddenly his face lightened up.

'Mao!' He exclaimed in his thoughts. 'You're the only one who can understand me! You're my only friend in this stupid World! Do you remember?'

The mind-reader blinked. "Wow, I found crazier than me." He said with a straight face, and then started to read Lelouch's memories. In it Mao found countless moments of friendship and fun with his self from other universes. Mao and Lelouch conquering the World, Mao and Lelouch persuading the most patriotic Britannians to rebel against their country, Mao and Lelouch torturing Schneizel, Mao becoming Zero while Lelouch became the Emperor and starting a World while chess match for the sake of it…

"I remember!" Mao exclaimed in his childish tone. Then he clapped his hands. "Oh, you're a funny guy!"

"Yeah, I'm a funny guy!" Lelouch shouted back with some emotion in his voice. "Why don't we hang out tonight?"

Mao nodded with joy.

"Cool, but what should we do?" He asked to his new crazy time-traveler friend.

"This?" Mao asked after a second of silence in the funicular. "Yeah, not bad."

"You're really full of ideas that I adore, you know." Mao continued before laughing.

"So, how about we both persuade a person to make a blood bath and then compare our killing streak?" Lelouch asked.

Mao nodded happily. "Sure, but no Geass for you."

"Of course." Lelouch retorted. "Where would the fun be?"

The funicular stopped.

Then Mao stood up. "But first … How about a Rock Paper Scissors?"


Shirley Fenette was a broken girl. She just lost her father and discovered that his murderer was the boy she loved. She couldn't handle it anymore, Lelouch had to pay for his sins, she as well… She killed someone, also, because unconsciously she wanted to protect Lelouch, or Zero… Shirley had to pay as well. Plus there was this guy, he knew everything, her deepest desires and her deepest fears. Shirley hated him, but she still loved Lelouch. She didn't really know what to do, but a part of her wanted to rely on Lelouch. Deep inside her she wanted Lelouch to stop this white-haired monster.

Then Shirley saw two people getting out of the funicular.

She recognized them instantly.

The man she loved and the man she hated the most seemed like they knew very well each other.

It was the final straw.

"I can't believe I lost against you!" Mao exclaimed with his usual childish tone.

Lelouch grinned. "The key word is 'random': With the experience I've learned to let my nervous system do what it wants on a small period of time. I had one chance out of three."

"You've learned that just to win against me?" Mao asked happily.

"Hell yeah!" Lelouch exclaimed.

They got out of the funicular.

Lelouch recognized Shirley, the girl he once loved when he had some humanity. He remembered her as his wife when he was still ruling the world, 3 lives ago … or last morning. It wasn't like he had feelings for her, it was just that he found that 'Shirley Vi Britannia: First Lady of the Universe' sounded awfully cool.

And there she was, a gun aimed at him.

"Vade Retro Satanas!" Shirley said weakly.

The only thing Lelouch said before receiving a bullet in the head was: "Oops."

"Do you fantasize about running a major corporation?"