Chapter 19
"A-A-...Asuka?"
"Shinji..." Asuka's heart swelled with joy as she realised what she had somehow managed to accomplish. Her heart was hammering against her ribcage as if it were trying to escape.
The two teenagers stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, but then Shinji blinked slowly, before his eyes hardened. "No!" he screamed, directly in Asuka's face, who took an involuntary step backwards. "You're trying to trick me again!" He began breathing heavily, as his hands came up to clutch at his face.
The joy Asuka had been feeling only seconds before evaporated as quickly as it came. "W-what?!" she exclaimed. "Shinji, you're not dreaming anymore! This is real!"
Shinji began to slowly back away. "It can't be! You're still using her face! Why would Asuka ever want to kiss me?!" he demanded, roughly wiping an arm across his mouth.
Asuka's face heated up at the reminder of what she had just done. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, attempting to explain her actions, but found herself tongue-tied. She could not even explain it to herself, let alone the boy in front of her.
Said boy was now glancing around the room, clearly seeking to escape. His back was to the lounge, and Asuka was blocking the way to the front door. The only clear way for Shinji to escape would be the balcony.
So he decided to go through Asuka.
Despite her shock, Asuka was able to twist her body just enough so that she didn't receive the full force of Shinji's attempted shoulder charge. The hit was still enough to knock her off balance, however, and she fell to the side.
For a moment it appeared Shinji had a clear shot at the front door and escape, and in his current state Asuka dreaded what would happen to him. But then one of his feet grazed the top of her sprawled-out leg, and Shinji stumbled for a few feet before the lack of friction between his socks and the floor caused him to fall head-first into the wall of the hallway.
Asuka forgot about her own aches as she got up and ran over to the prostrate boy, his stillness ringing alarm bells inside her mind as she knelt down next to him, placing herself between Shinji and the door just in case he made another attempt to flee. There was now a rather large dent in the wall, and all Asuka could do was pray that there hadn't been a support beam in the path of Shinji's head. She rolled him over, and for a split second she feared that the vacant look in his eyes had meant a return to his semi-comatose state, until Shinji groggily raised a hand to his forehead.
"That... that actually hurt..." he whispered.
"Of course it did," Asuka murmured as she pushed his hand away to inspect his forehead. "You smacked your head into a wall."
At the sound of the girl's voice, Shinji shot up, almost colliding with Asuka's head. With a glance to his right proving that he had not imagined the voice, he back-pedalled as best as he could away from Asuka while still sitting down until his shoulder blades touched the door to the small store room. The movement of his body made him appear as if he were trying to crawl up the door and escape into the ceiling like a spider. He gave up after a few seconds, and pressed himself against the door as he began to hyperventilate.
Asuka stood up and moved closer to him, and Shinji squeezed his eyes shut as he began to mumble, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," over and over again.
"Shinji, it's alright, I'm not going to hurt you," Asuka said, keeping her voice low to try and calm down the boy, who responded by repeating his apologies faster.
"I'msorryI'msorryI'mso-"
Shinji froze, and his eyes shot open, as Asuka pressed a soft, warm hand to his cheek. "It's alright," she said, keeping a hand to his cheek as Shinji slowly slid down the door in shock.
'I have no idea why this works so well. Good thing I don't care,' Asuka thought as she dropped to her knees at the same speed as Shinji. The boy's rapid breathing slowed to a much more normal pace as Asuka ran her thumb over his cheek.
"Asuka... It really is you..." Shinji said in a breathy whisper. His eyes widened. "But that means... oh gods! Asuka, I'm so s-"
The hand on his cheek moved, a finger landing on his mouth accompanied by a warning look from Asuka. "No. No apologising. There's nothing to be sorry for," she said.
"But I just tried to... and I thought you..."
The look intensified, and Shinji closed his mouth with a gulp. Asuka sighed. Dozens of questions were now running through her mind, all clamouring to be the first out of her mouth.
Shinji was back. And all because of her. Asuka had to fight down the smile that threatened to bloom on her face. There were more important things to deal with first. There would be time to celebrate later.
"Look, just answer me this: what has changed? Why do you now know that I'm real?"
Shinji frowned for a moment, his eyes drifting to the floor. "When I hit the wall, it... hurt," he slowly said.
"Of course it did, you hit a damn wall, dummy," Asuka replied as she moved her hand up to his forehead, pushing the unruly hair out of the way to examine his forehead and scalp.
"No, I mean it hurt." Shinji sounded more surprised than injured and appeared to not even notice the insult. His forehead only had a small abrasion on it, to Asuka's relief.
"Yes, it hurt. Why is that so important?"
Shinji turned his gaze to Asuka's face, which reddened slightly as cobalt met sapphire. "My nightmares... I remember having so many of them, and they always felt so real. But I haven't felt pain in so long I had almost forgotten the sensation." He put a hand to his head and groaned. "Ugh, I feel like I've been asleep for years."
Asuka's hands returned to her side, and she shook her head. "Six months. It's July. You've been..." Asuka waved her hands vaguely, "gone, I guess."
"Huh? Gone?" For the first time, Shinji seemed to realise exactly where he was as he looked into the kitchen. "Wait, this is Misato's apartment. How did I get here? The last thing I remember was..." He groaned as he tried to recall.
"Well at least I can answer that question easily enough," Asuka remarked. "Misato and I found you near the hole in the middle of the city, unconscious with a head wound and a broken hand. We decided to bring you back here."
"Misato's... alive?" Shinji whispered, not yet ready to believe what he had heard. At a nod from Asuka, he shuddered as tears threatened to escape from his eyes. Finally, he got himself under control and asked, "What did you mean when you said I was 'gone'?"
Asuka rubbed the back of her head. "It's... kind of hard to explain. You were unconscious for a few days, and sick from an infection as well. Eventually, you woke up, but... it was like you were a robot. I had to literally order you around, or you would just stand there with this empty look on your face."
Shinji frowned. "If I woke up then, why don't I remember anything?"
"... Sleepwalking? It's about the closest thing I can think of to describe your state to you. Anyway, eventually Akagi and the bridge crew found us, and we all went to NERV to get you checked out. Unfortunately, even with their advanced medical equipment, we couldn't find a way to wake you up properly."
"Doctor Akagi? She came back too?"
Asuka nodded. "Yeah, almost everybody's come back from Third Impact, in fact."
It was probably one of the worst possible things to mention, as Shinji curled in on himself and mumbled through his knees, "After I killed them all..."
"Stop. It wasn't your fault." Asuka laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder, but Shinji roughly shook it off.
"It was me. I just couldn't stand it anymore," he mumbled, curling up tighter. "I made the decision."
Asuka's voice was now tinged with irritation as she said, "Shinji, stop. SEELE were the ones orchestrating everything. They forced the gun into your hands."
"But I still pulled the trigger!" Shinji shouted, directly into Asuka's face once more. The anger disappeared, and he tilted over until he was laying on the floor, facing away from the girl. "I gave up. I did it," he whispered. "Nothing can change that..."
Any attempt Asuka made to get the despondent boy vertical again failed, as he would simply collapse back to the ground. She changed tactics, scooting around to a point where she could look at his face. She didn't like what she saw.
The light was starting to go out of Shinji's eyes.
"Look, people are returning, but only a few at NERV know what happened," Asuka explained desperately. "And none of them are blaming you for it, Shinji."
"...Nobody?" Shinji shifted his head slightly to look at Asuka, who latched onto the glimmer of hope in his eyes.
"Nobody," Asuka repeated. "SEELE and your father are first in line for the blame. Governments all over the world have condemned them. If they ever return, they'd probably get executed for crimes against humanity. The people who know the truth consider you just another one of their victims."
Shinji lethargically sat back upright, leaning against the wall with his head drooping. A short, hollow laugh left his mouth. "Hah. 'Victim'. How I wish I could believe the same thing."
"Come on, you were being manipulated." When Shinji's only response was to scoff, Asuka's temper flared. "Hey! You're not the only one that was tricked into what they did!"
"Perhaps," Shinji grudgingly conceded. "But tell me something. Do you ever have nightmares?"
"What's that got to..." Asuka began, before sighing and saying, somewhat reluctantly, "Yeah, occasionally I did. But I haven't had one in a long time." 'Thanks to you,' she mentally added.
Shinji looked up, and Asuka found herself lost in the sudden intensity in his eyes, before he said, "Have those nightmares ever felt so real, so vivid, that it's like you're living through the event again?"
Asuka backed off slightly, looking away as she thought back to her own dreams. "...No. They've always felt at least a little surreal," she slowly answered.
A small grin crossed Shinji's face, but there was no humour in it. "That's what mine feel like. Every last one of them." The grin vanished without a trace and he placed a hand against his chest. "The feeling of my body being melted by the Fifth Angel while I scream myself hoarse. Being forced to watch as your mind was assaulted by the Fifteenth, unable to move, powerless to help."
Shinji brought his hand up to his face and stared into the palm. "The sensation of Kaworu's crushed body in my hand after I murdered the only person that I thought liked me unconditionally. I feel all of them as if I were living through those moments again. And those are just the 'good' nightmares," he said, turning his gaze back to Asuka, who had looked away at the mention of her mind rape.
Asuka squeezed her eyes shut as Shinji continued, speaking of things she wouldn't wish on anybody, such as Unit-01, most likely under control of a Dummy Plug, murdering everybody that Shinji knew while he struggled in vain to seize control of the Evangelion. What later stood out most in her mind was when the boy spoke of a recurring nightmare where he was forced to watch as Unit-02 was desecrated by the Mass Production Evangelions while she screamed his name.
After a few minutes of silence that Asuka spent wishing she could forget what she had just heard, she grabbed Shinji by the upper arm and lifted him to his feet, Thankfully, he remained vertical without assistance as Asuka led him to the lounge room.
"But then sometimes I see... you," Shinji murmured as he sat down.
Asuka froze halfway towards the couch. "M-me?"
Shinji focused his gaze on the switched-off television as he replied, "Well, not you you. It's some... thing that looks like you and taunts me with my bad memories, especially where you were involved."
'"Stop using her face!"' The words echoed in Asuka's head, and she quietly repeated them out loud, to Shinji's shock. "Shinji, what's the last thing you clearly remember before today?" she quickly asked.
Shinji frowned at the sudden topic change, and twisted his face in concentration. Finally, he said, "I remember... a nightmare, I think. I was piloting Unit-01, in one of the testing chambers."
'Oh no...'
"Unit-02 was there, as well as the thing with your face," Shinji continued, not noticing the look of panic on the face of the girl next to him. "It was bad enough when it just looked like you, but when I saw your Evangelion too... it was like it was provoking me. Daring me to attack. I just got so angry..."
Shinji finally took a moment to glance at Asuka to see her reaction. He was not expecting to see her eyes as wide as dinner plates. "What is it?" he nervously asked.
Asuka licked her lips, trying to bring moisture back to her suddenly dry throat. "Shinji... that wasn't a nightmare." She couldn't keep the eye contact going, and looked away. "Doctor Akagi came up with the idea of putting you in Unit-01 so she could use the neural interface for a better brain scan. You... woke up when they tried to end the test."
"Stop it... leave me alone..."
"Don't you remember my voice?"
"You're not Asuka!"
A visible shudder shook Shinji's body, and he drew his legs up to his chest. "I... I attacked... you?" he mumbled, before crying out, "I thought that thing was just trying to trick me!" Just as the tears were about to form in his eyes, and an apology begin to escape his lips, a hand fell on his shoulder and squeezed. He looked up...
Into Asuka's calm smile.
"It's alright," she softly replied. "You weren't in your right mind. That's why I did my best to disable your Eva without hurting you."
With a sniffle, Shinji let his legs drop off the couch and back down to the floor. "I know you hate when I do this but... I'm sorry, Asuka," he apologised.
Asuka sighed good-naturedly, but said, "Fine, I'll let you apologise for that. There was no harm done anyway."
To her surprise, the corners of Shinji's mouth turned up slightly as Asuka accepted his apology, and she decided against the small rant she had been planning about the meagre hand-to-hand skills that he had displayed during that incident. She had no desire to say anything that would ruin the first proper smile the boy gave her since his awakening.
'Damn, I want... need to ask Shinji so many things, but he's been through enough recently,' Asuka silently mused. 'He needs some time to collect his thoughts. Besides, when Misato hears about this...'
A glance at the clock on the wall revealed to Asuka that a much more immediate meeting was about to take place. She prayed that Shinji would be able to handle the surprise.
Rei would be home from school soon.
Under a grey sky that carried with it the suggestion of rain, Rei Ayanami walked home, quietly trailing just behind Kensuke, Toji, Hikari, and their siblings. The clouds were a relief to the girl, as her pale skin did not appreciate direct sunlight very much. Although the weather forecasters had predicted that this coming summer would not be as bad as it was the previous year, she was still not looking forward to the heat.
When the topic of her complexion and the approaching summer had come up between her and Misato, the older woman had remarked, "It's probably a good thing you didn't get out much last year. Some days it felt like the air itself was being cooked."
She had been the first to complete her essay, mainly because she had left Instrumentality as late as she had. Despite this, she had eventually managed to finish a suitably sized piece of writing. It had not crossed Rei's mind to go into some detail on her fight with the Second Revenant until Kensuke had exulted about it while the teens were together for lunch one day. After consulting with Misato, it was agreed that she could speak of her role on that day.
She found it more interesting, maybe even a little more enjoyable, to write about her trip to the mall though, for some reason.
The first droplets of rain had just begun to fall as Rei reached the apartment building. She waved goodbye to her friends and went up to her own floor. The second the door to the Katsuragi household opened, an arm reached out and yanked her inside, and a hand was clapped over her mouth before she could make a sound.
"Quiet!" Asuka hissed. She relaxed her grip on the other girl's mouth when Rei nodded before tilting her head in confusion. In response, Asuka whispered, "Got a surprise for you." Though she tried to hide it, Rei could detect a hint of a smile on the redhead's face. Her curiosity getting the better of her, she nodded and followed her housemate, depositing her bag on the dining room table as she passed, as the pair crept towards the lounge room.
Just as Rei passed through the doorway, Asuka's expression darkened slightly and she cursed under her breath as the two girls heard the toilet flush. Rei was dragged further into the lounge room as Asuka disappointedly muttered, "So much for having time to make this good..."
A moment later, they heard the bathroom door open. Rei's eyes widened significantly as a familiar quiet voice said, "Huh? Where did this bag come from?" Asuka roughly turned her around to face the doorway as the sound of footsteps came closer, before standing in front of her.
"Is that your bag on the table?" Shinji asked as he stepped into the lounge room. "Are you going out or something?"
Asuka shook her head."No, Shinji. Somebody just arrived."
Shinji seemed to flinch slightly, before looking furtively around the room. Just as he was about to ask another question, he saw a pale hand come out from behind Asuka and push the girl aside.
"Hello, Shinji," said the last girl Shinji ever expected to see again.
Asuka moved towards Shinji with her hands raised in a placating gesture as he recoiled from the sight of the First Child, taking several steps back and almost bumping into a wall again. "Relax Shinji, it's fine, she's real too," said Asuka. The quick reassurance seemed to help, and Shinji relaxed slightly as the redhead slowly stepped aside.
"Ayanami?!" Shinji breathed.
"It- it is good to see you well again. I-... I am glad..." Words failed Rei, and the stunned girl surprised even herself as she raised a hand to her eyes to wipe away the moisture that was suddenly building up. She tried once more to verbally express how she felt, before giving up and walking forward to gently place her arms around Shinji.
The shock of such a display from the previously-emotionless First Child had Shinji frozen in surprise for a moment, but it only took a moment for him to thaw out and gingerly return the hug as tears came to his eyes.
"Why did you come back?" Shinji whispered in Rei's ear. "I thought you had chosen to stay in there."
"Lilith decided to release me, and let me leave Instrumentality." Rei withdrew one arm and placed a hand on her chest as she continued. "As a result, I am now as human as you and the Second Child."
"Hmph," huffed Asuka as she folded her arms across her chest. "Both of you managed to ruin the surprise I had planned." Her words brought the embrace to an end, as Shinji awkwardly stepped away and rubbed the back of his head. She exaggeratedly turned her back on the other two teens. "But I suppose I should have expected that from you two. After all, you are re-mmph!"
Shinji barely even saw Rei move. One second he was staring into her red eyes, the next she was in front of Asuka with a hand clamped over the other girl's mouth. "I will tell him myself," she said, withdrawing the hand. Asuka raised an eyebrow, but silently acquiesced, waving a hand in dismissal before sitting on the sofa.
"Huh? Tell me what?" Shinji asked.
Before answering, Rei walked over to the couch. A confused Shinji followed her, and sat down between the two girls. "You know that I was... created using the DNA of your mother, Yui Ikari." At a grim nod from Shinji, the First Child continued. "An off-handed remark from Asuka shortly after I left Instrumentality led me to realise what that makes us. We can be considered to be brother and sister."
Shinji's eyes never left the girl's face as she conveyed her message, his own countenance growing more and more sombre with a sinking feeling of realisation that reached its nadir the moment Rei said the word 'sister'. "...Siblings..." he said, tearing his eyes away from the bluenette and focusing on the ground, a mirthless smile on his face. "Ever since I met you, I always felt as if there were something familiar about you. But when I found out that my father created you, I guess I became afraid of what you were. I didn't really think of how it defined our relationship."
"Hey."
The boy looked up as Asuka gently smacked his shoulder. "What is it?" he asked, rubbing the spot where her hand had struck.
"Stop focusing on that," Asuka replied. "On what you did wrong or whatever. Think about the now. You've just been told you have a sister, yet you look as though someone just ran over your dog."
Shinji sighed. "I know, but..." He shrugged helplessly, and turned to Rei. "I'm really not trying to be rude, Ayanami. It's just that-"
"Please, Shinji," the girl quietly interrupted with a raised hand. "We are siblings. You may call me Rei."
"O-oh. Um, okay... Rei," Shinji stuttered out. "A-anyway, I'm just wondering why you two are being so nice to me, after everything I did."
Behind the boy, Asuka let out a loud groan and collapsed back onto the sofa. "I already told you, dummy! We don't think you're to blame."
Rei nodded. "All three of us were merely pawns. If you were really to blame, then I would be as well, for choosing you as the one to control Third Impact."
Shinji closed his eyes, and appeared to shrink into himself with a sigh. "I'm sorry, but could you please give me some time alone?" he asked at a level just barely audible to the two girls. "I need to think some things through."
Asuka and Rei looked at each other over the top of Shinji's head. A slight nod from the First Child was echoed by the Second, and they both stood up. "Alright," said Asuka. "I'll be in my room."
"As will I," Rei added.
Outside the lounge room, and out of sight of the gloomy boy, Asuka grabbed the bluenette by the shoulder and whispered, "Misato needs to know about this, so I'm going to call her. Hopefully I can convince her to come home right away."
"Shall I go and tell Hikari and the others?" Rei quietly asked.
Asuka thought for a moment, before shaking her head. "No, leave that for another day. I don't want to overwhelm him, so let's just take it slow for now."
"Then I shall go and do my homework."
With a nod, Asuka let Rei leave then went into the kitchen, where she picked up the phone and fled to her room as quietly as she could.
Misato sighed as her intercom beeped and held up a hand to her friend. "Let me take this first, then we can continue." Ritsuko nodded and took a seat, then unfolded her laptop and began to type.
"What is it, Sotomura?" Misato asked.
The slightly distorted voice of her secretary answered. "Commander, Pilot Soryu is calling. She says it's very important."
"... Alright, put her through." Releasing the button, the exhausted woman had only a few seconds to try and guess what happened to make Asuka call her at work before the phone rang. "What's the matter, Asuka?" she asked as soon as she picked it up.
"I need you to drop everything and come home now," came the whispered reply.
Misato pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it in disbelief. Did one of her surrogate daughters -and a subordinate- really just try to give her an order? She was definitely too tired for this. "I'm sorry... what?" she asked as politely as she could. "And why are you whispering? Is there an intruder?"
A faint snort was Asuka's initial response. "If it were even possible for that to be the case, I would have called for Section Two, as bad as they are. Look, just get here as soon as you can. Please?"
"Can't it wait? I'm busy at the moment."
"Whatever Akagi is boring you with is not as important as this."
It was a struggle for Misato to keep a straight face while looking at Ritsuko, so she turned her chair around to face the wall. "And just what is so important, Asuka?"
"... I can't tell you over the phone," the girl replied, her voice getting even quieter.
Misato palmed her face and grumbled to herself. "So you want me to come home now, for something important," she eventually said. "Something so critical you can't even say it over a secure line to the Commander of NERV. Today has been a long day, and I'm tired. What are you planning, Asuka?"
There was a soft sigh from the other end of the line, then Asuka said, "I want it to be a surprise. If you come home right now and you're not completely bowled over by what I have planned then..." There was a humming sound, then a long pause. "Then you can fire me."
Ritsuko looked up as Misato turned around in her chair and let out a loud "What?!" She hurriedly waved away the doctor's curiosity, before leaning an elbow on the table and rubbing her forehead. "Asuka, are you sure you know what you're doing? I can't possibly think of anything that could be as amazing as you're trying to paint this."
"I'm positive. Please, Misato, just trust me."
Misato let out a low growl. "... Fine. I'll be there in half an hour. Be warned, however. If this is not the greatest thing to happen to me all year, then I will fire you." Though she sounded serious, with the threat of the Revenants, she had no intention of actually following through with such a threat.
"Great! Thanks, Misato!" The excited redhead hung up without waiting for a goodbye.
Misato let the phone fall back into its cradle, then raised the hand that had been holding it to join the other on her face.
"Your birthday isn't until December," Ritsuko remarked as she closed her laptop. "I wonder what the Second Child has planned."
Misato groaned through her hands. "She didn't give me anything to go on, and I'm too tired to think. Let's just get this over with so I can go home and get that over with. You were saying something about SEELE?"
"Oh. Yes," Ritsuko replied as she stood up. She cleared her throat and said, "For the past month, under your orders, I've been looking into what would be left of their power base. Trying to pinpoint any potential threats to us, such as people who share the same opinion about humanity as the Old Men."
"I hope this is good news."
The brunette scientist shrugged slightly. "I would call it good. Several possible suspects were found, but all of them mysteriously disappeared or died not long after I located them. For example, a German politician who was one of Chairman Keel's highest men in the country was found dead in his home with a note next to him and a gun in his hand. Only two days after I found his name."
Misato raised an eyebrow. "Somebody's cleaning house."
Ritsuko placed the laptop on Misato's desk and turned the screen to face the Commander. An influential American magnate who was killed in a car accident when a truck smashed into him at an intersection. A French senator, who suddenly fell deathly ill and only given a month to live, committed suicide. Several more names scrolled past, along with the cause of death or a note saying that they had disappeared.
"What's strange is that not a single one of SEELE's agents was... removed... until I began searching for them. Somebody is definitely dealing with them, and using the MAGI to do the hard work of finding them."
Misato looked thoughtful for a moment, before reaching into the pocket of her jacket, hanging over the chair. After a few seconds of digging, she pulled something out and held it up to Ritsuko, who leaned in to see what it was.
A tiny external memory device, smaller than her thumb.
"Kaji?" Ritsuko whispered. She curiously reached out for the item in Misato's hand, but the device instantly disappeared into Misato's fist.
The Commander of NERV grinned. "It's the only thing I can think of. I reckon we should let this continue. Not only does it save us the trouble of trying to neutralise these potential threats, we also don't have to worry about it being traced back to us."
"How can you be so sure?" Ritsuko asked incredulously. "The names are going out somewhere. What's to stop whoever this is from getting in?"
The grin on Misato's face widened. "If I knew Kaji half as well as I believe I did, then whoever's acting on this information has no idea where the names are coming from. Just that it's imperative to eliminate the targets."
The blonde woman sighed and picked her laptop up. "Alright, I'll trust you -and Kaji- on this. I'm still going to run a diagnostic just in case though."
"I knew you would." Misato let a mighty yawn loose as she got up, and stretched before picking her jacket up. "Right, I'm going to get a cup of coffee and go home. You might want to start looking for a replacement pilot," she added snarkily before leaving the room.
"Are you sure you don't want Section Two to take you home?" Ritsuko called after the departing woman as she walked out the door, but only got a dismissive wave in response. "...Well, let's just hope she doesn't crash," she muttered to the bemused secretary.
"Hey Shinji, you done thinking yet?"
The boy looked up into the face of Asuka, then lowered his head and sighed. "It's only been a few minutes, Asuka."
"Oh. Right." She decided against mentioning that it was a bad idea to leave a person in his state alone for very long. "Anyway... you know what you need?" The redhead grabbed Shinji by the shoulders and lifted him to his feet. "A distraction."
"Distraction?"
"Yep. Put all that thinking off until later. Besides..." Asuka rubbed her stomach, "I'm hungry."
"O-oh! Sorry-" Shinji paused as Asuka got a strange look on her face.
Sorry. Such a small word, but she would have given up anything to hear it again, despite how angry it used to make her. Its earlier utterances had passed over her head as she attempted to calm the boy down. Now Asuka almost wanted Shinji to say it again, just to prove that he was truly back.
"Are you okay, Asuka?" Shinji's voice cut through her musing and brought her back to see his concerned expression, and she was mildly surprised to feel her heart flutter a little at the look in his eyes.
"I-I'm fine!" she stammered. "A-anyway, I've got a surprise coming for you, but we need dinner ready in less than half an hour."
"Um..." Shinji scratched his head, and just barely avoided apologising again as he said, "I need a bit more time than that. I don't even know what we have in the fridge."
"You're in luck!" Asuka pointed a thumb towards her chest and thrust her chin upwards. "Since this is a special occasion that I want to go perfectly, I will graciously lend you my aid." To Asuka's secret delight, the depressed boy actually gave her a small smile. Her chest now felt like there was a butterfly trapped inside her ribcage. She mentally shook herself and said, "Now come on, we need to get started."
Shinji yelped slightly as Asuka's hand grabbed his own and began to drag him towards the kitchen. It had been an unconscious move done out of habit, and she prayed that he would be too nervous to say anything.
"Who's coming over?" Shinji asked as he looked through the fridge.
Asuka turned the tap on to wash her hands. "Misato. I told her to come home and to expect a surprise."
"Oh okay. What's the-" Shinji froze, and the fridge began to beep in complaint at being open for too long.
"You were gonna ask what the surprise was, weren't you," the Second Child said, looking away to hide her grin.
The boy declined to comment, shutting the fridge door a little harder than necessary after taking out several ingredients.
Six months of mental trauma apparently had little, if any, effect on Shinji's culinary skills. Asuka helped out where she could, washing and cutting some vegetables and other minor tasks, but the bulk of the task was handled by the skilled young man next to her. The contents of the pan flew up into the air at one point, to the redhead's surprise, but not a single piece was lost.
Twenty minutes passed rapidly, and the stir fry was soon complete. As soon as the plates were filled and laid out on the table, Shinji was dragged away to Asuka's bedroom while Rei kept a lookout for the return of their foster mother.
"What are we doing in here?" Shinji wondered, taking the time to look around the room.
"Waiting for the right time," Asuka replied mysteriously. She walked over to the mirror and began to brush her hair, mostly for something to do to keep her hands occupied, as the right was starting to twitch slightly, to her confusion.
"Couldn't I have just waited in my room then?"
Asuka shook her head, letting her hair fly about, and then met Shinji's gaze in the mirror. "That's Rei's bedroom now. Her apartment was destroyed, and Misato decided to take her in."
"O-oh... okay..." Shinji's face fell, and Asuka sighed internally.
'Come on, don't tell me you're just going to act like it's perfectly normal to get kicked out of two bedrooms for somebody else!'
"Wait, Rei isn't staying in this room?" Shinji asked with a frown, his eyes still looking down at the floor. "There are two futons in here." He looked up, quirking an eyebrow. "Is something wrong with the bed? Did it break?"
'Well, good. At least he's not just rolling over,' Asuka mused. "No, nothing like that," she said out loud. "It's... well, somebody had to keep an eye on you. Your nightmares tended to get rather nasty if someone wasn't nearby. Misato really needs all the rest she can get, since she's far too busy most days, and she ordered me to look after you. So you're staying in my room."
She couldn't stop the smirk that grew on her face as she watched Shinji's face gradually redden as she revealed the details of their sleeping arrangements.
"W-we're sleeping together?!" Shinji finally squeaked out.
Asuka's cheeks pinked up at the choice of words. "Wh- no! We're just sleeping in the same room! On seperate futons!"
"But... a boy and girl shouldn't sleep in the same bedroom!"
"It was that or listen to you enduring your nightmares." Asuka leaned in closer to him. "I don't care what people think. I refuse to do nothing while you suffer."
The redness faded slowly from the boy's face as he thought in silence for a minute. The Second Child had just finished combing her hair when he mumbled, "I'm sorry, Asuka."
Reeling back slightly as that word sent a small shiver down her spine, Asuka put the brush back on her dresser, before turning around and asking, "What for now?"
"Um... for you having to be the one to look after me. We've never exactly gotten along, after all..."
Asuka sighed and rubbed her forehead. 'Great, he still thinks I don't like him.' Her face softened as she said, "Don't apologise. I've been looking after you for months now. I'm used to it. Besides," she added with a smirk. "You've been a perfect excuse for me to not have to go back to school."
The Third Child's eyebrows rose. "You finally got your wish? I'm sure you've been loving that," he chuckled. "But won't you have to start going again, now that I'm... awake?"
"Misato said that you are my top priority until you're fully recovered." It was only a slight twisting of her orders, but it wasn't the right time to explain that the Evangelions were still needed. "Do you feel recovered?"
Shinji almost lied, still embarrassed by their sleeping arrangements, but one look at Asuka's serious expression told him what would happen if she caught him out. "No," he mumbled. With absolute honesty, he added, "I don't think I'll be okay again for a long time."
"Then out of the goodness of my heart, I shall allow you to stay in my room," Asuka replied, internally cheering at Shinji's statement. She had to turn around and pretend to busy herself with something, anything, to hide the elation she felt. "After all, it would be too much work to move Rei in here."
As Asuka continued to comb her hair, she soon noticed the boy's eyes staring at the back of her head in confusion.
"Uhm, where are your neural clips?" he finally asked.
Before she could answer, a loud and angry voice from elsewhere in the apartment yelled, "Asuka Langley-Soryu, get out here!"
The redhead gulped and made to leave the room, but the sight of a wide-eyed Shinji made her pause for a moment. Knowing that if she didn't show up quickly the surprise would be ruined, Asuka hissed, "I'll have to tell you another time. Stay here, I'll be back soon!"
As she stepped into the hallway, Asuka was immediately pierced by the laser-like glare of Misato. Rei was standing in the woman's way, preventing her from simply storming into the bedroom. Asuka gently pushed the other girl out of the way, and took her place in front of the tired and disgruntled woman. Rei glanced sidelong at her before moving to sit at the kitchen table. The intensity of the stare increased as Misato folded her arms and said, "Well?"
The Second Child drew herself up and replied, "The surprise is nearly ready, Misato. I just need you to do one thing first."
"Asuka, I'm damn well exhausted and not in the mood," Misato growled. "What is so important that you felt the need to practically order me home?"
"Look, please just trust me for a little longer," pleaded Asuka as she moved past the woman into the kitchen. "You're about to find out."
"If I'm not amazed in the next five minutes, I'm cutting your pay for a year."
Asuka paled slightly as she neared the kitchen table, but got herself under control before turning around. That was a much more suitable threat than what she had thought of, not to mention easier to carry out. "Er, okay. Anyway, please try this stir fry."
Misato's eyes narrowed as she attempted to discern what the German girl was planning, but a rumble from her stomach reminded her that she hadn't eaten anything in a while. She almost fell into the dining chair, and took a moment to lean back and relax before picking up her utensils and digging into the stir fry.
After a few mouthfuls, she said, "This is good. Very good. I haven't had a meal this tasty in a long time. You're getting better at cooking, but you only have four minutes left."
Asuka sat down across from her, but didn't begin eating. "What if I told you I did barely anything?" she asked with a smirk.
"Then I would assume you got lazy and convinced that Horaki girl to come over."
"Nope, try again."
Misato pursed her lips in thought. "Did Rei do this? Maybe she got some of the Ikari cooking talent too."
"She might have the gift, but no. You're getting warmer though."
"Then Shinji must have had another cooking memory." While she had been surprised that the boy could somehow cook while semi-comatose, her portion of that meal had sadly not lived up to his previous creations. The tired woman took another bite. This meal on the other hand certainly tasted a lot like what her surrogate son had made the previous year.
If the girl could grin any wider, the top of her head would have fallen off. "So close!"
Misato froze with a piece of chicken halfway to her mouth. Something that had been jumping up and down in the back of her mind since the phone call half an hour ago had finally kicked her in the head. Asuka's almost exuberant attitude, the still-unknown 'surprise', and a meal that could only have been created by one person.
All her tiredness vanished, and Misato's chair fell over with a clatter as she got to her feet. "Where is he?!" she demanded, planting her hands on the table.
"Calm down, he's-"
"Where?!"
"Um..."
It was such a quiet sound, but it easily reached both of them. Asuka would never forget the expression on Misato's face as her eyes nearly popped out of her head. She seemed frozen to the spot, almost afraid of turning around in case she had imagined the voice.
"Is... is everything okay out here?" Worried eyes under a mop of dishevelled brown hair peeked out of the doorway to Asuka's room. Misato unfroze, spinning around and accidentally kicking the chair at her feet away. Her hand flew up to her mouth at the sight of the boy as he slowly walked into the kitchen.
"Asuka..." she slowly said. "Please tell me this is real."
Though Misato couldn't see it, Asuka nodded. "He woke up this afternoon. I'm not really sure what triggered it," she lied, sending a 'don't you dare' look at Shinji, but he was too busy focusing on Misato to pay attention.
"Misato... I-... I'm sorry," Shinji stammered, finally tearing his gaze away after a few seconds. He closed his eyes against the tears threatening to break through and said, "I'm sorry I was so useless."
A sob escaped the woman's mouth, and Misato stumbled forward, landing on her knees in front of her surrogate son, who was now cringing at the close proximity of someone who he had indirectly killed due to his inaction.
"Oh Shinji..." Misato said with a tearful smile. She reached a hand out and pulled his chin around so she could look into his eyes. If there had been any doubt in her mind, it evaporated upon seeing the life in those cobalt orbs. "I don't care what happened before. Right now nothing matters except that you've come back to us. To me." As she uttered the last two words, she threw her arms around Shinji and yanked him into a hug.
Shinji stood there dumbly, arms hovering in the air as Misato squeezed him. With an exaggerated sigh, Asuka got up and moved towards the embracing pair, grabbing Shinji's hands and guiding them into returning Misato's hug. Just as the redhead was about to step back, she noticed the twin lines of tears crawling down the boy's cheeks and soaking into the woman's shirt, which brought a suggestion of a smile to Asuka's face.
Nearby, Rei stared at her brother and foster mother. The scene brought a comforting warmth to her chest, and the corners of her mouth tilted upwards. Shinji and Misato were now both weeping openly, and a sob occasionally wracked one or the other's body.
After a few minutes, Asuka moved around the table and tapped the bluenette on the shoulder. At Rei's inquisitive glance, she pointed towards the lounge room, and the First Child nodded. Together, they silently left the kitchen, and the still hugging pair, and sat down on the couch.
"I pray that this will aid Shinji's recovery," Rei quietly said.
"It will. Misato's got her boy back, but I have a feeling it's still going to take a very long time," Asuka replied.
The bluenette nodded. "Sadly, I must agree with you. Based on what little I remember from Lilith's link to his mind, it could well be several years before he is no longer badly affected. But now that he is awake, we can actively work to help him, instead of simply reacting to his nightmares and memories."
Asuka sighed, glancing back over her shoulder and through the doorway. "When should we tell him about the Revenants?"
"We should leave that for Misato. I believe she will be better able to know when to bring the matter up."
The two girls fell silent, and Asuka could just barely hear Misato mumbling something to Shinji.
"What did you do to cause him to awaken?" Rei suddenly asked, startling the Second Child.
Asuka remained facing away, mostly to hide the fact that her face was reddening. "N-nothing!" she exclaimed.
"If that is the case, then I shall ask Shinji what he remembers."
Asuka spun quickly around and glared at Rei. "What? No, don't do that!" Her face was now bright red.
The bluenette returned the stare for a few seconds, then said, "You know, but are unwilling to tell me."
"Just... give me some time, okay?" Asuka mumbled. "I'm still not over the shock."
"Will you be 'over it' by tomorrow night?" Rei inquired. Letting out a low groan, the Second Child grudgingly nodded. "If you cannot bring yourself to answer by then, I shall speak to my brother. For now, I shall go to bed. Goodnight." She got up and padded towards her room, sparing a glance and a smile at Misato and Shinji as she passed.
"Gee, no pressure, Wondergirl," Asuka muttered to herself.
It took fifteen minutes for the tears to stop. Most of the time was filled by Misato mumbling reassurances into Shinji's ear whenever he attempted to apologise. She eventually, and grudgingly, broke the hug, lifting the boy to his feet and guiding him to the table. Upon hearing the scrape of the dining chairs, Asuka rejoined them and they all began to dig into Shinji's stir fry. While it had started to go cold, Misato commented that the taste hadn't diminished at all.
As they ate, Misato paid close attention to the two teenagers. Asuka would constantly glance at Shinji, who never looked up from his plate. It appeared that he was already beginning to sink back into depression, and a worried look was growing on the girl's face.
After dinner, when their foster mother cleared the dishes from the table -taking away Shinji's plate before he could get up- Asuka asked, "So, did I manage to avoid the pay cut?"
Misato rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Yeah, you did. Oh, that reminds me." Pulling out her mobile phone, she pressed a speed-dial button and called her Sub-Commander. "Rits, it's Misato. Listen, I need to take a few days off work."
On the edge of Asuka's hearing, she heard a faint "What?!" coming through the earpiece. As Misato began to explain the situation, the girl fixed her gaze on Shinji. His arms were folded around himself and his head was tucked into his chest, and Asuka could see him trembling slightly.
"Hey Shinji, you cold or something?"
His whole body jolted as the Third Child looked up. "N-no, I'm fine," he stammered. His eyes darted towards the hallway, and Asuka saw something akin to fear in his expression. Although she knew he was lying, Asuka decided not to press him too hard, concerned that he would close up tight if she tried to pry into him.
"You sure?" At Shinji's hesitant nod, Asuka sighed and let the subject drop.
'I'll have to take it slow,' she mused. 'I can't just up and ask him, 'So what are your nightmares about?' or something like that. Baby steps, Asuka.'
"Fine," she relented, leaning back in her chair. "I won't bite though, so if you wanna talk about anything..."
Shinji seemed to consider the offer for half a minute. "Thank you," he mumbled as he met Asuka's gaze, causing the girl's heart rate to increase slightly.
His eyes. They had always been a weak point for the redhead. Whenever something bad happened and they started to fill up with sadness, Asuka would feel like she had just kicked a puppy. Just the thought of that cobalt stare had been enough to halt her whenever something happened to make her feel angry enough to lash out physically.
When they sparkled on the few occasions Shinji was happy? When he got that gleam in his eye while cooking for his 'family'? That one perfect moment when he would turn around and present another delicious meal to Asuka would always take her breath away, and she always had to hide it beneath a haughty veneer, under empty threats of retribution if the meal was not perfect.
And they were always wonderful. Even when he had been sad or depressed, Shinji still put the same amount of effort into cooking, as if he was attempting to cheer up other people with his food. But she never thanked him. Until n-
"Asuka? Are you okay?"
Asuka blinked, and realised belatedly that she had been staring at nothing for the past few minutes. Misato was still talking on the phone, and Shinji was giving her a worried look.
"Oh. Yeah, I'm probably just tired," she lamely said, faking a yawn, but smiling inside at the boy's concern. Even after everything he had been through, Shinji still managed to put it aside to worry about somebody else first.
"Phew, that's sorted," Misato remarked as she put her phone away. "I've got a week off. It's a good thing the adoption process was so quick, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to abuse my sick leave for this."
"Adoption?" Shinji repeated in confusion.
"Misato adopted you, me, and Wondergirl not long ago," Asuka explained. "She's now our foster mother."
The Third Child's eyes widened in shock, and Misato was quick to clarify. "Rei and Asuka agreed to it when I asked them, but since you weren't lucid at the time, I couldn't extend the same offer to you properly. I went ahead with it anyway, but now that you're awake..."
The purple-haired woman walked up besides Shinji and lowered herself to his eye level. The volume of her voice dropped as she said, "Shinji. Ever since you came into my life, you have been like the son I never had. Adopting you simply made it official."
Tears were starting to leak from her eyes again as Misato kept talking. "But I know that... near the end I practically abandoned you in my search for the truth when you needed me, and I'm so sorry for that. If you don't want me to be your foster mother, I'll arrange for your adoption process to have never happened."
To Asuka, the silence seemed to stretch out for an eternity as Shinji and Misato stared at each other, and she found herself struggling to keep her face neutral.
The boy twisted in his seat to properly face the woman, and slowly said, "Misato... I really appreciate everything you've done for me, but..." Misato's face visibly fell, so Shinji hurriedly continued. "I need time to think about this."
Letting out a sigh of what might have been relief, Misato nodded weakly. "Take as much time as you need. Whatever your decision, I will accept it. But nothing will change the fact that I love you like a son."
Shinji smiled and opened his mouth to speak, but a massive yawn broke out first.
"Well... I guess we're all a bit tired," Misato remarked. "I suppose we should go to bed now." She gave Shinji another hug, which the boy quickly returned, before releasing and standing up. "Goodnight, kids."
As soon as the door to the woman's bedroom slid shut, Asuka stood up and said, "Well, you heard her. Bedtime, Shinji."
Once again, the fearful look flashed across Shinji's face, but it disappeared just as fast. He nodded and got to his feet, following the redhead, with a great deal of nervousness, into her bedroom.
Their futons were several feet apart, discreetly moved by Asuka during their chat just before Misato got home. While she wanted to keep the same arrangements, she had a feeling that Shinji would have been too tense to sleep so close to her.
Not to mention that she might accidentally reach out for him during the night. That was going to take some getting used to.
The lights went off as soon as Shinji had burrowed into his futon, facing away from Asuka to her disappointment, until only the top of his head was peeking out. Asuka got into bed as well, forgoing changing into pyjamas while Shinji was already in the room. As her eyes adjusted to the lack of light she saw, in the outline of Shinji's body under the covers, that he was almost curled into a foetal position.
Her right hand twitched, almost demanding that it take its usual bedtime place in the boy's left hand. Asuka clenched it tightly, and settled for staring at the back of Shinji's head in the dim light shining through the curtain. Just as she was about to drift off to sleep, an interrupted thought from earlier came back to her mind.
"Shinji."
There was a slight rustle of bedclothes as the Third Child turned over to face her. "What is it, Asuka?" he softly asked.
"...Thank you for dinner," Asuka replied, so quietly that even she almost didn't hear it.
Despite the lack of light, she would swear that the corners of his mouth turned upward slightly as Shinji said, "You're welcome." The boy closed his eyes, sensing that the conversation was already done, but didn't turn back over.
It might have been her imagination, but before her eyes shut and sleep claimed her, Asuka was sure that Shinji's body had unclenched slightly.
When dawn finally came and a pesky ray of sunlight woke Asuka up, she had to wipe the sleep from her eyes to make sure she wasn't imagining things. When it could be confirmed that her eyes were not lying to her, the first thing she did was not panic. She had been grimly anticipating something like this, after all, but she had expected it to at least occur a day or two later.
Shinji's bed was empty.
Her eyes scanned the bedroom. Asuka knew that he was not elsewhere in the apartment, as she hadn't been woken up by her door. Whenever it was opened there was a squeal of metal that would be impossible to sleep through, as its rails needed to be oiled and nobody had gotten around to it. Within a minute or two, she noticed a pair of feet sticking out from the other side of her dresser.
It was an unfortunate fact that words of praise, even from Asuka, could apparently do nothing to hold back the tide of nightmares assaulting the Third Child. Some time after she had fallen asleep, the boy had quietly fumbled his way out of his futon and crawled over to the furthest corner of the room from her, curling his body up into a gap between the dresser and the wall.
This was where she now found Shinji, fast asleep in what looked like an incredibly uncomfortable position. His arms were wrapped around his legs, which were tucked into his chest, and his head was resting sideways on his kneecaps. Asuka's neck twinged in sympathy just looking at him, recalling how she had fallen asleep next to his bed so long ago, before Misato had discovered her and offered a better solution.
Asuka exhaled, blowing a wayward strand of hair out of her face, and moved in close to the boy, calling his name and gently shaking him by the shoulder. Shinji shivered a little as she made contact, but otherwise didn't respond. The redhead settled for carefully dragging him out of the corner and picking him up. Asuka swayed slightly as she stood up, but kept her balance as she carried him to his futon and placed him back under the covers.
With a glance at her alarm clock, which showed that it was just barely five-thirty, Asuka crawled back into her own bed and tried to fall back asleep. When ten minutes passed, full of tossing and turning, she shuffled her futon closer and reached out a hand. It paused over Shinji's own hand for a moment, then drifted up to his upper arm and lightly rested there. Through the thin fabric of his shirt, Asuka felt the muscles relax.
With the boy finally resting somewhat peacefully, Asuka relaxed and let sleep claim her once more.
