The Void
Okay...I didn't get the five reviews I asked for, grrrr. But I missed writing; I want to know what happens next. And as long as a few lovely people are reading my story, it's okay, right? I don't own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does. Sigh.
I ran. I kept running as though I could run from the horror of what I had done, run out of this world and into a new one, where my existence couldn't harm Bella. I waited for the exhilaration of the sheer speed came over me, but there was nothing. Without Bella, there was nothing.
I turned over the conversation in my head, looking for a loophole that would let me back into her life. All that I could think was I had promised was that it would be like I had never existed. I hoped, for Bella's sake that itthat was true. For me, I couldn't imagine anything worse. But I would keep that promise, it would be the last thing I would do for Bella.
I returned to her house. Her scent was stamped all over it. I felt the thirst overpower me, and I was appalled. A small part of me had hoped that I would grow immune, and return to Bella. Grimly I climbed up the tree and into her room. I foundfind her scrapbook. She had put in all the photos, and labelled them. It was all so neat. I couldn't imagine anything less Bella. She must have had way too much time. I realized numbly what pain I must have been putting her through, all in the name of saving her.
I removed each photo of me. There were three. The first I was smiling warmly at the camera. My eyes were alive and bright. This was the one Bella had thought wouldn't develop. The next two were of me in the lounge room. My eyes were remote, as though there were a shield between me and the rest of the world. I put all three photos on the bed. I removed the CD from the CD player and added that to the pile, along with the plane tickets. I was about to tear them up, breaking up the last remaining physical reminders of my love for Bella, but instead, I hid them under one of her loose floorboards. These would stay with her. She wouldn't know they were there, but I felt better still having them in the world, near Bella.
I ran again. I didn't go home, there was nothing much left there but the furniture and memories. My possessions had been taken to the house Esme was restoring in Cornell. I would go there, try to start over without Bella. I knew I part of me would always miss her, but I would survive. I had lived before Bella; I could live after her too.
*
I sat in my room, staring into space. Esme had done everything to make this room like the old one, back in Forks. I had done everything to make it unlike that room. I had ripped up the carpet, mutilated the sound system, broken all my CD's and records. I knew of my family's dismay at my actions, they were careful not to think about it directly, but I could pick up on the general mood of their thoughts. Esme's breath hitched every time see came in to check on me, Emmett was unusually quiet, Carlisle always told me that he loved me, and he was sure I would do the right thing. Alice always trembled, seeing visions of bleakness and loneliness without Bella. Rosalie was the only one was open with me. To the displeasure of the rest of the family, she screamed at me, calling memy selfish, self absorbed. She told me that I didn't care forabout anyone but . I wasn't blind. I could see the pain I was putting my family through. But it was nothing compared to my pain.
My heart felt as though it was gone. Every thought was aasorbedabsorbed with Bella, or avoiding thinking about Bella. Thanks to my perfect recall, I could remember the exact look on her face when I told her I was leaving. Maybe I was just being selfish. The though that I was doing the right thing washad been the only thing that had been keeping me going. But maybe I was just trying to satisfy my need to be noble. Maybe I should have stayed and tried to make her happy. Whenever this thought crossed my mind, which was often, I almost sprinted back to Forks. But thethey thought of her, lifeless stopped me. Barely.
I had forbidden Alice to look into Bella's future. Her time was divided between looking into her life before a vampire, and convincing Jasper that it wasn't his fault that we had had to leave. She was planning to take him to Denali soon; she said he needed a change in scenery, but I knew it was because he needed to get away from me. I was scattering my family. I had decided to leave, I would track down Victoria, and eliminateelement the last threat to Bella from the supernatural world. I was fairly sure that Victoria wouldn't come back for Bella, but as long as she was doing something that connected me to Bella, I would be able to wait out the rest of my existence.
*
I swam to Phoenix, not wanting to risk the public eye. I was a mess. Even to human's eyes, I was no longer beautiful. The dark bruises under my eyes were even more pronounced, and my eyes were dark pits. I never bothered to hunt anymore. I found Victoria's scent near the ballet studio, nearly six months old. I followed it into the wilderness, all the while straining to reach her thoughts. I followed her through the woods, and for the first time since I left, I hunted. My strength replenished, I followed her until the trail went into the water. I followed it as far along the coastline as I could, but I couldn't see that she had resurfaced along this shore. She had been travelling fairly slowly, her need not as urgent as mine. Perhaps I had caught up to her, and she was now trying to trick me. I broadened my mind, but couldn't hear her thoughts anywhere. After some time, I dived into the water. I would check every coastline in the world, but I would find her.
I surfaced in Canada, Albuquerque, Madagascar and Russia, with no sign of her scent. It had taken me a month; whatever advantage I may have had was long gone. She could be anywhere in the world by now. Eventually, I came to South America. I climbed onto a deserted beach, my throat burning from thirst. I breathed in for the first time in a week. Her scent hit my nostrils so strongly she could only have just been here. I raced off in the direction of the trail.
The trail seemed to lead me in circles. I followed it for weeks, without getting any closer to Victoria. Eventually, I had to accept that I had been following a false trail. I raced into the nearest shelter, an abandoned house, crawled into the attic, and let the void take over me. I would not resurface.
A/N: Sorry, in new moon, that's half the book, but Edward doesn't do much, so I just left it as one chapter. I promise the next one will be more interesting!!
Beta Note: Hi guys are beta's allowed to have notes?? Oh well I'm dazzling-but-not-cute-Alice's beta Rachie81 and we were both disappointed at the lack of reviews tsk tsk oh well hope u enjoy :-)
