Harry's mind raced as he saw Ron steadily approaching him down the wedding aile of his impending doom. He tried to remember a spell from his research that would protect him from this torture. Suddenly, scripture from one of the many tomes he had read flashed in front of his green eyes.
(ITALICS!!) hextasy: the strong rush of emotions one feels as they hex a large group of people. If the witch or wizard is powerful enough, this feeling will be strong enough to ward off all other spells that may be cast in order to control said witch or wizard...(END ITALICS!!)
"Perfect" Harry whispered. He then proceeded to, stealthily as a gazelle on stealth meds, pull his wand out from his jacket pocket. As soon as Ron was standing next to Harry, he bound Ron, the priest, and the rest of the wedding party. He grinned as he felt the hextasy level of his emotions increasing. Harry then used every hex in the book (excluding the unforgivables of course) and even a few hexes that he had made up.
"MUSHROOM FUNGI SPROUTIOUS!!" Harry shouted towards one of the many redheaded relatives. But there were too many. Like an ocean of brown flecks and red hair that burned like the blast that had killed his parents, the Wesley family advanced on him. He was drowning, and not in a sea of girly-pantedness as he had hoped.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Harry screamed as he did when the memory of Voldemort killing his parents surfaced in his mind at unexpected and inconvenient times. Hexes flew from his wand at alarming speeds as he did backflips and cha cha-ed with a spotted Chizpurfle. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw... Voldemort?!
No, alas it was only Ron's very ugly Uncle.
As Harry stared at the sheer ugliness of the red headed man he noticed something out of place. Like a pear amongst sea-gulls, a paper back amongst multiple venti ice-brewed-triple-shot-caramel-macchiato-extra-whip-half-skim-half-whole-milk-minus-the-caramel-drizzle-with-little-can-can-dancing-house-elves-wearing-girl-pants-on-top, Harry spotted a shining head of blonde amongst the sea of red. He ran towards the figure with as much passion as a herd of buffalo! The skinny girl pants of his tuxedo were extremely confining.
He reached the man with gleaming hair and turned him around. Their eyes met in a fiery passion man love filled second.
"Is it really you Draco?" Harry questioned, his eyes full of disbelief.
"Naturalmente é, você calça de menina usa besta de homem! "
"What?!"
"Sorry that was my portuguese voice..."
NEXT PUZZLING SEA-MONKEY
red herring
