December, 1986

"So what's going on with you?" Lindsay asked her brother. They'd just finished dinner and now they were walking down Santa Monica pier. She couldn't stop thinking about how much this was like a date, but it was sweet that he was trying so hard to make her feel special, and she was having more fun with him than she'd ever had with Andrew.

"What do you mean?" he said.

"Like, what have you been doing lately?"

He laughed. "I think you know everything I've been doing. We kind of live together."

"Yeah, but we never really talk about you."

"Uh, I've been working on college applications, I guess."

"How's that going?"

"Uh, okay. There are so many to do, though."

"How many are you applying to?"

"Twelve."

"Twelve?" she repeated.

"Yeah…" he sighed. "I've finished seven of them, though, so there are only five left."

"Why would you do that to yourself?" she said incredulously.

"I don't know, I just want to have a lot of options."

"Yeah, well, I guess you will."

"Let's hope so," he laughed.

"Twelve," she said again. "Can you name them all?"

"I think so. Let's see…" He counted on his fingers. "Stanford, UPenn, UC Berkeley, UCLA, uh…University of Virginia, UCSD, UC Davis…University of Michigan, UCSB, UC Irvine, NYU, and UT Austin."

"Oh my god," she said. "Are you sure we're twins?"

"Yeah, pretty sure," he laughed.

"A lot of UC's," she said.

"Yeah, I want the in-state tuition."

"Why? We can afford out-of-state."

"Yeah, but I don't want to be dependent on Mom and Dad any longer than I have to be."

"Oh. That makes sense. Well, I hope you stay in California. I don't want you to go all the way to Pennsylvania or Virginia or whatever."

"Yeah, I'd like to stay close, too. Not in LA, but somewhere on the West Coast would be good. But even if I don't, I'll still visit at least once a year, and I'll call you."

"Yeah," she said, though she still felt hollow at the thought of him leaving. She looked out at the dark waves and wondered if he would be home on their birthday next year. She'd never had a birthday without him. She pushed the thought from her mind. She didn't like to think about him leaving.

"Hey, let's take a picture," she said, remembering the camera she'd brought along.

"Okay," he said as she took the camera out of her blue leather Esprit purse.

"Excuse me," she said to a middle-aged woman passing by them. "Can you take our picture?"

"Sure," she said.

"Thanks," Lindsay replied, handing her the camera. She went over to Michael and stood next to him against the railing. The shiver that ran through her as he put his arm around her waist had nothing to do with the cold December wind coming in off the ocean. She ignored this and smiled for the picture.

"Are you two on a date?" the woman asked kindly when she'd finished taking the picture. Lindsay's eyes widened. Michael quickly let go of her and stepped away.

"Oh, no, we're uh—he's my brother," she stammered.

"Oh!" the woman said. She laughed embarrassedly. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Lindsay said, also laughing. "Thanks for taking the picture."

"No problem," she said and handed her the camera. Lindsay put it in her purse and went back to Michael, who looked even more embarrassed than she was.

"Well, that was a little weird…" she said, trying to lessen the awkwardness.

"Yeah," he agreed, laughing uncomfortably.

"Do you want to open presents now?" she said, trying to change the subject.

"Sure," he said gratefully.

"Okay, let's sit here," she said, walking over to a nearby bench and sitting down. He followed her and sat down next to her.

"Okay, you go first," she said, taking an envelope out of her purse and handing it to him. He opened it.

"Are these Simple Minds tickets?" he said.

"Yes, they're coming in March," she said excitedly. "I got tickets for both of us."

"Wow, that will be amazing!" he said. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome," she said, smiling warmly at him.

"Okay, your turn," he said.

"Okay," she said, taking her own present out of her purse, which she had been carrying it in. She unwrapped it. Her eyes widened when she saw that it was little black velvet box, the kind you would put jewelry in. She opened it and saw that it was a little silver necklace.

"Oh. Wow," she said, surprised. What kind of brother gave his sister a necklace as a birthday present? Her heart beat faster. But it didn't mean that, she knew it didn't. "Thank you," she said, realizing she hadn't said it yet. "Wow, it's beautiful!"

"You like it?"

"Yes, I love it," she said emphatically.

"Oh, good," he said. "I had so much trouble picking it out. Normally I would ask you for help, but since it was for you…" he trailed off. She knew they were both thinking the same thing: that the only other time he would be picking out jewelry would be if he was buying it for a girlfriend.

"Well, I love it," she said, hating to see him feel embarrassed. She looked at the necklace more closely. It looked expensive. She felt a little thrill as she thought of him saving up his banana stand money to buy this for her.

"Here, help me put it on," she said, giving it to him. She turned and pulled her hair up. He put the necklace on her. She shivered as his fingers brushed the back of her neck.

"Thanks," she said when she felt the necklace fall into place.

"Don't forget the card," he said.

"Oh yeah," she said, taking it out of her purse. She opened it and read.

Lindsay,

Happy 18th birthday! This past year has been hard, but it's made me realize how much you mean to me. I'm so proud of how far you've come. You're my twin sister, my best friend, and the most important person in my life. I hope you know that.

Love,

Michael

"Oh my god," she said when she'd finished. She felt a little dizzy. "Jesus, Michael, that's just…thank you, wow." She hesitated, then abruptly hugged him. She felt a thrilling breathlessness at the feeling of his arms around her as he hugged her back. "I love you," she said, her voice faltering slightly with embarrassment, but she needed to say it. And it was true, she loved him more than anyone.

"I love you, too," he said. She smiled, her eyes swimming with tears. She pulled away and dabbed at her eyes.

"Damn, I didn't even get you a card," she laughed, her voice a little shaky.

"It's fine," he laughed.

She leaned back against the bench and looked up at the night sky, then down at her hands twisting in her lap, trying desperately to push away the thoughts swirling around in her head. She'd never felt so confused.