Dislcaimer: You know the drill. I don't own Twilight, end of story. :)

AN: Soooooooo here we go! Chapter eleven! :O This story's going by so fast, I don't know if I want it to end yet! ah! Anywho, so, thank you to the lovely people who reviewed my last chapter!! I'm very glad that you enjoyed! A special shout out/thanks goes to my anonymous reviewers, because I like to reply to all my reviews, even if it's just to say "thanks", but I can't to my anonymous reviewers. :( So thank you guys!! :D

And now, here's chapter eleven. It's kind of short, and probably not terribly exciting, because I'm trying to match the chapters exactly to those from Believer, and these next couple are maybe more eventful from her point of view. Nevertheless, read on, and I do hope you enjoy!


It was one of those moments that brought to mind the phrase "out of the frying pan and into the fire".

I'd drifted up here, up to somewhere above the roof, to escape the sight of Bella's broken face and wallow in some good old self-disgust and hatred. Because one truth was clear: I had done that to her.

But when I got up there, I was faced with something even more emotionally taxing than watching the consequences of my despicable actions. My mother.

Not that I don't, or didn't, at least, love my mother. But eternity has been hard for her, turning her from the strong, loving woman I knew, into someone almost unrecognizable in her grief. And now, to top it all off, she was angry. Actually, livid would be a better word.

"Edward Masen," she growled at me "what did you just do?"

Her anger, the venom in her words, took me aback. Ever since we'd died, my mother had been different, sad. But never angry at me. It was her unbearable sadness that had always made me avoid her, knowing that I was the cause. But, even though I was the cause, she had never showed it, never lashed out at me, until now, and I was, to say the least, puzzled at the cause, because I was getting nothing from her mind but waves of fury. "Mother, wha-"

She cut me off. "Don't you "what" me, Edward Masen. Don't think I haven't noticed what you were doing, even if you don't share things with your dear old mum anymore. You found someone who could help us!! You were so close!" she was close to tears now, and I realized exactly what it was about. "And then, today, what was that about? You throw it all away. I knew it was too good to be true. But why, Edward?" she implored. "Why?"

I couldn't face her. When I'd realized what I'd been going to do, I'd been only thinking of the consequences for myself and Bella, but now I was being reminded forcefully of the main reason I had approached Bella in the first place, and the person -at least in her opinion - who would be most affected by my most recent decision. I had no idea how to answer to that, but I finally settled on giving her the answer to the last question she had asked. "I -you were you right."

She puzzled this over for a moment, uncomprehending, before she finally grasped the meaning of my words, and I could hear the shock, disgust, and disbelief so clearly in her thoughts. "you're in love with her?" she sputtered.

I nodded mutely.

Beyond her anger, there was confusion and disbelief. But it never mattered to him! Not in his whole life, never did he really look at a girl! Love never mattered to him, why now?"

I answered her unspoken question. "No, it didn't. . ." I confirmed, and she just looked at me. "And then I saw her face," I stated simply. And it was true. That was how it had all started, when everything changed "and everything changed."

I couldn't stand sticking around to see whatever she would come out with next, to hear her words that would just add insult to injury, so I turned and fled.


I flew over the roofs of houses, not really realizing where I was going until I got there.

And when I did, I realized it was pretty perfect. No one, human or spirit, hardly ever came to this deserted little plot of ground, dotted with grey stones, and separated from the neighboring houses by a small forest. They had no reason to, and that made the little graveyard where my earthly body lay the perfect place for me to be alone, at last, in my misery.

But, as fate would have it, I didn't get to be alone for long. I'd been there only minutes when I heard the footsteps approaching. The fact that they weren't accompanied by any thoughts was enough to let me know who it was without looking up. Of course it would be her.

As soon as I realized, of course, I should have left, to spare myself. But really, what was the point anymore? I was stuck here for ever anyways, why not allow myself the tiny happiness of at least seeing my love, even if I could never have her, while I was still able?

Of course, she made her way to the little area of the graveyard dominated by the Masens. But, surprisingly, she stopped at my mothers grave. It was only then that I noticed the flowers in her arms. She carefully removed the wrappings from a bouquet of pure white lilies, stuffing it into her bag before placing them on the grass with a whispered dedication that I just barely made out. "These are from Edward, I know he's always wanted to give them to you."

Her selflessness, I realized, her generosity, would never cease to amaze me. How had I ever fallen for someone so good, the exact opposite of what I was?

But now she was moving to the headstone beside my mother's, the one that bore my name. This time, the flowers she laid there were yellow roses, and she said nothing as she set them down, stood up again, and left.

I stared at her retreating back for a moment until the sound of paper ruffled by wind made me look down. There, tucked under the green stems, was a single sheet of paper bearing a few scant lines of writing in Bella's own messy hand.

Edward,

I'm sorry. So sorry. I messed up, I know, but I want to help you. Please, please, let me make it right. I want to help you, but I can't if you won't let me.

Please.

Bella.

It probably wasn't their intention, but the words made me suddenly angry. Not at her, never at her. At myself. How had I let her think that this was all her fault? It was inexcusable.


AN: Well, there you go. :) We get to see a little bit more of Elisabeth, and Edward gets to be really angsty. :D Haha, I love how somebody called Edward a "monumental Idiot" I think it was, in one of their reviews. :) You see more of that in this chapter, because, yes, he can be rather thick about some things. :) But we still love him!

And, we see the story title! I was kicking myself right after I posted last chapter, because I'd forgotten that I was supposed to work the title in there, but I think I did it OK in this one. I hope so, anyways. . :S

Now, here's the deal: I love my reviewers who do review, but I'd love it if more of my readers who are enjoying this story would please drop me a line to tell me what they think! It makes my day when you do :D

And, as a bit of motivation:

I'm going to be at a cottage sans internet this weekend, so I won't be able to update. Now, I think I may be able to get chapter twelve written before I leave, because it's another short one. :) So, if I am motivated to *cough*review*cough*, it may be up by tomorrow night. If not, i'll be able to get some writing done in the car, so I'll definitely have it ready for Sunday night. If I'm motivated to, hint, hint. :D (yes, I'm evil, I know it :D)

but, yet again, thank you to those beautiful people who do review! I love you guys!

buh-bye for now,

SkySong :)