Chapter 16: …and Ledge Conversations

As soon as Clary put down the phone, she shouted to the other inhabitants of the Institute.
"Amatis has vanished!" Clary shouted. She immediately heard a clatter from various rooms. A few moments later, the three teenagers all entered the hallway, as did Jace.
"We need to move. The pack's looking, but she's left a note." Clary informed the other Shadowhunters. After the funeral, the teenagers had changed into their normal gear, so were able to begin their surveillance of the city straight away. All took different angles, and covered the streets quickly. They used any information they could gain from what the Werewolf pack gave them, as well as their personal knowledge of Amatis. However, their attempts were unsuccessful. Charlie was waiting near a subway station when a mundane police car pulled up. A call over the radio piqued Charlie's attention.
"We have a possible jumper on the Brooklyn Bridge, near the FDR Drive. Female, looks like she's early 20s, and won't listen to our calls." Someone said over the police radio. Without listening to any more, Charlie began towards the Brooklyn Bridge, as well as taking out her phone to call the other Shadowhunters. When she got to the bridge, she spotted the police cars straight away. She looked through the flashing lights, trying her hardest to spot Amatis when someone put their hand on her shoulder. She jumped round to see Will standing there. Cecily was only a few moments behind, having been the furthest away from the bridge of the three.
"We need to get through to Amatis." Cecily remarked. The three teenagers began to make their way through the police officers and were able to get onto the bridge. They spotted the familiar figure of Amatis standing on the edge of the bridge, seeming ready to jump.
"Amatis!" All three teenagers shouted, but there was no reaction from the Garroway. Cecily ran forwards and Will quickly followed.
"Cecily? Will?!" Charlie queried, worried about what her parabatai and her brother were planning on doing. Cecily and Will pushed past the mundane police officers who were trying to talk Amatis out of jumping, and couldn't see the two Shadowhunters, and walked right up to the rails.
"Amatis, listen to me!" Cecily demanded of the werewolf. "You don't have to do this."
This caused Amatis to turn slightly so she could see who called her name.
"Cecily, you shouldn't be here. I need to do this." Amatis stated, sounding resolute about what she was doing.
"Why?" Will asked. "What purpose will it serve?"
"Excuse me?" Amatis' voice was tinged with confusion.
"Why are you doing this?" Will followed up his original question. "You know you can't come back from this."
"Well, at least when I do, I'll be with Jordan again." Amatis commented.
"I know that it's hard, that not being with someone you love eats you from the inside out." Will commented. "I was bound to Jordan. We were essentially brothers."
What Will did next took Cecily, Charlie, and the parents, who had arrived, by surprise. Will stepped over the rail so he was standing directly next to Amatis. He held onto the rail with one hand, and took Amatis' arm in his other, so that he anchored her. Amatis looked at the Herondale, confused by what he was doing.
"If you're going to do this, you're taking me with you." Will stated. Cecily suddenly realised Will's plan. She decided to help and also stepped over the rails. The parents went to protest but Charlie assured them that Will and Cecily had a plan, even though she didn't know herself for sure.
"That goes for me too." Cecily added. Cecily and Will joining her seemed to break Amatis' resolve.
"We all lost Jordan, but we need to live on, for him!" Cecily remarked.
"If he were here, he wouldn't want you to throw all of this away!" Will added. "I've stood where you have. I was so, so, close to taking my life, so that I would be free from the grief and the pain."
"What happened?" Amatis asked the Herondale.
"I was saved by my family, and my friends." Will explained.

One week earlier:
Will was sat in his room, furiously writing. He had written a note to explain to his parents why he felt what he was about to do was necessary, as well as asking them not to mourn too much, because he would be at piece. From underneath his bed, Will drew a sharp dagger, and he held it to his wrists. However, before he drew his own blood, Will caught sight of a photo on his desk. It was from when the two Herondale and two Lovelace children were only 10. Simon and Clary had decided to take the four out for the day, and show them some of the good bits of growing up as a mundane, namely a theme park. The picture was of the four 10 year olds, all beaming, giddy from the experience and too much sugar. Will paused as he looked at the picture and his mind flashed through his life: moments flashed from helping his sister when she began to walk, to standing by her side in battle; Will remembered the mishaps when he and Cecily began their training, to when he realised that he had fallen in love with the Lovelace. He remembered exploding snow globes and sneaking out. He remembered all the brightest moments in his life. He remembered the love that his parents always had for him and Charlie, regardless of what stupidity the two children may have come up with. Most of all, Will remembered the love that flooded through his veins for his family and friends. In that moment, Will changed his mind. Whilst he had been so set on stopping the pain, he realised that those around him were bearing it too. There was a knock on the door at that moment. Will hid the dagger under his bed, forgetting it for now, and got up to answer the door.

One week later:
"They made me realise that even though it would stop my pain, suicide would just cause more pain for everyone else. I could never do that to my parents, or my sister. I could never do that to the ones I love."
Amatis nodded.
"Let's get off this ledge." Amatis conceded. Cecily and Will helped Amatis to climb over the bridge's railing before climbing over themselves. Immediately, the three teenagers were pulled into crushing hugs by their respective parents.
"Don't ever do that something like that again!" Izzy ordered Cecily.
"Mum, I can't breathe!" Cecily responded. After their parents had let go of Cecily and Will, the pair were pulled into another hug by Charlie.
"What in the name of the Angel were you thinking?!" Charlie asked her brother and her parabatai.
"I was thinking that something needed to be done to make sure that our grandparents didn't lose their daughter," Will retorted. "And we wouldn't need to go to another funeral."

Amatis was taken home by Jocelyn and Luke whilst the other families headed back to the Institute. Later, as Cecily and Will walked past, they were called into the lounge. All four parents were sat on the sofas, and the two teenagers felt as if they had walked into an intervention.
"What's going on?" Cecily asked, worried and confused.
"What you did this evening was incredibly reckless and dangerous." Izzy started.
"We could have lost either one of you, or even both!" Jace added. Will opened his mouth, ready to apologise, but Cecily spoke first.
"You didn't though." Cecily interrupted. "That's the point. If it wasn't for what we did, if it wasn't for Will's brilliant quick thinking, we may have still been alive but Amatis probably wouldn't have. Because of those reckless and dangerous actions, there is a girl who is now sitting at home, safe and alive! As for reckless and dangerous, isn't that the same with all Shadowhunters?! When someone we care about is in danger, we do whatever we can to get them out of it. You've taught me, Will, and Charlie that since day 1! It's in our nature to protect others"
The parents were momentarily speechless. Whilst Cecily was courageous, like any other Shadowhunter, she usually kept it hidden until she was in the heat of a battle. For her to have such an outburst was uncommon. It was Clary that broke the stunned silence.
"She's right." Clary said to the four other adults. "Amatis is alive because of them. And they were acting as they had been taught to."
Clary then turned to her son and adoptive niece.
"We were scared that we might have lost you too tonight." Clary explained to Will and Cecily. "But, it's not just that. You guys are growing up so quickly: Charlie's getting married; you two are essentially engaged."
"I guess you could say that we're scared because we've cared for you as children, and we're now starting to see you as adults." Simon continued after Clary had trailed off. Now it was Will's and Cecily's turn to be speechless: here were their parents, brave Shadowhunters, admitting their fears, which they hadn't done in front of the children since either Cecily or Will could remember. Not sure of what to say, both teenagers ran forwards and hugged their respective parents. The parents held their eldest children tightly, relishing every moment. After the hug finished, the two teenagers excused themselves from the room and headed upstairs.

Later that night, Jace was woken up by the faint sound of footsteps in the corridor outside his and Clary's shared bedroom. He stood and walked over to the doorway. He looked into the corridor and saw Izzy sitting with her back against one wall, facing a door on the other side of the hallway. The room that the door led to was Jordan's bedroom. Sensing that she needed the company, Jace stepped out of the bedroom, walked over and sat next to his adoptive sister. Izzy turned at the sound of movement.
"Hey." She greeted in a whisper.
"Hi." Jace responded, equally quiet. "How are you holding up?"
Izzy shrugged in response. Her eyes turned back to the door. The door to Jordan's room had remained shut ever since the battle that took his life. It was as if the room held the last vestiges of Jordan's spirit and opening the door would cause them to cease to exist.
"I keep walking past the door, but I never have built up the courage to open it." Izzy stated. Jace tried to look comforting.
"It's the last hurdle. Doing it will make it seem real." Jace commented, and Izzy nodded in agreement.
"My son is gone, Jace. I'm not sure how to deal with that." Izzy confessed. Jace took his sister's hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.
"We'll deal with it the way we always do: as a family." Jace assured Izzy, and the Lovelace nodded appreciatively at this. Whilst they didn't open the door that night, Jace stayed with Izzy until she was ready to go back to her room. Jace slipped back into his and Clary's shared bedroom, and got into the bed without even causing his wife to stir. The Herondale fell asleep, curious about what would happen next for his family, and hoping that no tragedy would befall the Institute for as long as he was head. Hr knew it was a tall ask, but it was still a hope.

A/N: Please remember to review. As I mentioned previously, a lot of these two chapters have been based off my own personal experiences with death and grief. In fact, Will's argument about how it would just hurt family was one of the points someone used with me when they were worried about how low I had dropped into depression. Moving swiftly on, I promise that the next couplet will be more positive than this one, as bells are ringing in the distance (hint, hint). I hope to hear from you, and to see you in the next chapter. And, as always,

Keep on Reading
-ToAC