Keith had only fallen asleep for about a half hour before he was once again lying awake. He faced the wall adjacent to his bed, his eyes eternally open and his mind swimming with unwanted thoughts. He ignored the hungry protests of his stomach, not having eaten since breakfast. Keith almost laughed at his own expense. Maybe starving myself will fix my problems.
A knock came at his door, something he'd been expecting. He was so disappointed in himself for the way he'd been acting. He was creating unnecessary problems that literally could affect the safety of the universe. It wasn't like him to show so much weakness, so much instability. But then again, he'd never been faced with a situation like this before. Even though he really didn't want to speak to anyone at the moment, he knew just letting his bitterness boil wasn't helping anyone. He reluctantly pulled himself upright and gave a weak "Come in."
Keith had been expecting Shiro, and was planning on apologizing for what he said earlier, but instead was met with Allura. The motherly concern on her face made Keith increasingly uncomfortable. She stepped into his room and the doors closed behind her. Keith had zero idea what to say to her, so he just fiddled with his gloves, avoiding her gaze. He felt like a little kid who'd just been caught drawing on the walls. But I wasn't drawing on it. I was just glaring at it because I'm pathetic.
"Your fellow paladins have informed me that you aren't eating. Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, I just haven't been feeling well. It's nothing."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Don't worry about me."
"Keith. You may have fooled the others but you can't fool me." She crossed the room and sat down on his bed next to him. Keith almost corrected her; he hadn't fooled Shiro either. Guess I'm not any better at hiding things than Pidge is. Allura's expression wasn't concern anymore, it was more like fascination.
"It's alright to admit it Keith. Everyone feels lonely from time to time."
Keith tensed up, not knowing if she was on to him or not. "...yeah."
"I've actually been meaning to tell you something for a while, but now's the perfect time!" Allura was beaming, excitement radiating from her smile. Keith on the other hand, was nearly having a nervous breakdown.
"Tell me what?"
"Well, I know it probably shouldn't be me that tells you this, but I can't wait any longer! It's been plainly obvious to me for weeks that Shiro has feelings for you. Romantic ones! You need not be lonely anymore!"
Keith would have smiled at Allura's enthusiasm if she had been talking about anything else. She was grinning at him, waiting for him to react. It took Keith a moment to register what she had said, simply staring back at her like she was speaking a different language. Once it hit him, Keith felt himself begin to sweat. He'd never been in such an awkward situation in his life. On what basis had she come to this conclusion? Keith was certain there must have been some sort of misunderstanding.
"Sorry if this sounds rude, but I think you might be mistaken."
"Nope, there's no question about it. Haven't you noticed how he always checks up on you? He's constantly talking to me about how he wants to get you to open up to him. He says it's just to improve team relations, but he can't fool me! I don't know why humans are so evasive with their emotions."
"He's just trying to be a good leader. He checks up on all of us, not just me. I really don't think…"
"Why are you trying to deny it? Do you not find him attractive?"
Keith didn't give her a verbal response, but his expression must have been telling. Allura's smile only widened, and she let out a soft giggle Keith had never heard from her before.
"I'm telling you, he worries about you much more than anyone else. And frankly, you're one of the most skilled, so he should be less worried if anything. He's got a soft spot for you. Aren't you a lucky one?" Allura clearly believed she spoke the undeniable truth, and her persuasiveness did NOT make Keith feel any better. He was already struggling with his own feelings, and now there might possibly be a whole other party involved? Keith's stress level went through the roof, and there was only one cure for that.
"I think I'm gonna go train for a while."
"Oh no you don't. Not until you've eaten something." Concerned Allura was back.
The pair exited Keith's room and made their way down to the kitchen. Although Keith was capable of helping himself, the princess insisted on preparing a plate for him, probably just to make sure he actually ate. Despite the fact that she'd mostly caused him more problems, Keith appreciated how much effort she was putting in to help him. It was reassuring to know that people care.
"You're not leaving this spot until that plate is empty. I can't have my paladins starving themselves."
"Uh….can I ask-"
"Don't worry, Hunk made dinner tonight."
That was also reassuring.
Keith ate in silence for a moment, Allura fetching them both something to drink. He wasn't sure what time it was, but he hadn't seen or heard anyone in the halls, so he guessed it was late. The concept of time was very different than back on Earth. It was technically always dark out in space, so they only had digital clocks to rely on. Of course, they ran on Altean time, so there was confusion either way. Keith scanned the kitchen for one of said clocks, but found none. Instead, his eyes fell back on Allura, who was looking at him like she was waiting for something.
"Soooo?"
"So….what?"
"What are you going to do about Shiro? It's obvious that he's too shy to admit his feelings to you. You'll just have to drag it out of him. I can help you if you like! We could-"
Keith didn't even want to hear what she had planned. "Thank you, but that's really not necessary. I still don't think…" He trailed off as the kitchen doors opened, revealing the man of the hour himself, Shiro. Keith could feel the smug expression on Allura's face as she greeted the black paladin. She quickly finished the rest of her drink.
"Well, I'm going to go….run some tests on the castle's power systems. Glad you're feeling better Keith. See you two later." She was out the doors in a flash, and Keith was once again thrust into a very awkward situation. He focused all his attention on eating, but unfortunately, his plate was practically empty.
"So, she came to talk to you, huh?"
"Yep."
Shiro could clearly sense that Keith was uncomfortable. "I'm sorry. I tried to talk her out of it. She just really thought she could help."
"It's fine. It was my fault anyway. I was being dramatic."
"No you weren't. It's ok to be upset." Keith could hear the smile in his words.
"I'm sorry about what I said earlier."
"That was my fault. I should have given you space. It's just so hard when it's you."
Keith really hoped he wasn't visibly shaken by that. "Why?"
"I don't know. You're just," Shiro scratched the back of his neck, and Keith wanted so badly to be back in his room. "You're usually not so expressive I guess."
"Oh"
Keith took care of his plate and returned to finish his drink. He tried not to look at Shiro, afraid to see something in his eyes that would make things harder on him. Keith felt stupid, this was probably just a normal conversation and he was only feeling weird because someone made it weird. He didn't know whether to blame Shiro for being so protective, Allura for telling him, or himself for thinking it was true. He finished his drink, and he was prepared to end this conversation and go train. Shiro, however, had a few more questions.
"So what did you tell her?"
"Nothing. I said I wasn't feeling well."
"And?"
"She told me something ridiculous."
"What do you mean?"
"It's not important."
"Well, if you would have just talked to me about this whole thing with Lance, you could have avoided that whole conversation."
"I don't have a thing about Lance. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to train."
"Why won't you just give me a chance, Keith? All I want to do is help."
Keith turned around before leaving, looking directly into Shiro's eyes. There was genuine caring there, and something deeper below the surface. "I don't need help" was all he replied before storming off down the hall. He made a mental note to cover his ears the next time Allura said she had something to tell him and he made his way towards the training room. If there was ever a time to blow off steam, it was now.
However, upon entering, Keith quickly realized that he wasn't going to be very successful. Of course, he'd picked the one time that Lance was currently in the middle of target practice. He watched the other boy firing his gun sporadically and destroying the virtual targets. He felt a familiar smile creep back up as he watched Lance jumping from side to side, energetic as always. It didn't cross Keith's mind until Lance turned around and noticed him that he probably shouldn't have just been standing there watching him. Lance removed his helmet and gave Keith a smirk.
"If you watch close enough, you might learn a few things."
"I'm not interested in learning exotic dance, but thanks anyway."
"It's called a victory dance! Maybe you'd have one if you won as much as I do."
"Hmmm, I don't remember seeing a victory dance this morning. Oh, that's becau-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keith is sooo much better at fighting than Lance."
"I wouldn't say that. I'm just more focused."
"Oh, yeah. You were pretty focused alright."
Keith didn't like the way that sounded. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, nothing. Just making an observation." Lance's expression showed some sort of pride, and Keith told himself he didn't know what it meant. He didn't want to deal with any of this. He didn't care if he didn't sleep all night; he was going back to his room and staying there.
"On second thought, I'm feeling a little tired." Keith turned around and started towards the door.
"Wait, are you ok? How come you weren't at dinner?"
Keith didn't turn around. "I just ate a minute ago. Goodnight." The doors slid shut before he could listen for a response. Keith mentally cursed himself for all the blunders he made today. Was it all in his head? Was he overreacting and making assumptions at every turn? Or was everything he feared actually happening? My brain can't process this all at once.
He reached his room and plopped into bed. His mental exhaustion allowed him to finally fall sound asleep.
Thank you for reading
More coming soon
Favorite, Follow, and Review :)
