I am very aware that every chapter these guys are more occ than before. I tried, but now it's a mess.

However, I am also a mess, and I'm glad my story reflects that. :)

If anyone actually reads this, enjoy!


Although the kiss had felt like a firework for both of them, Lance felt blue trying to tell him something, and it was most likely "get a room". After returning the blue lion to the hangar, the pair quickly snuck off to Lance's room, a childish giddiness taking over both of them. They currently sat side by side on the floor up against the base of Lance's bed, shoulders touching. Keith felt an uncertain bliss that he wanted to last forever, and Lance's confusion with his own identity was overshadowed by the butterflies performing acrobatics in his stomach.

Keith felt a little guilty about the kiss, but only in the little moments when he wasn't completely absorbed in his dream turned reality. His relationship with Shiro seemed so distant, like it existed in another life far away from here. Or maybe that's just how he wished it would be. It didn't matter. He was proud of himself. Instead of chickening out and denying his feelings he'd gone in for the kill. And boy was it worth it. He debated resting his head on Lance's shoulder, but was surprised when he felt Lance on his shoulder instead.

"Shiro's going to kill me." Lance sounded genuinely afraid. He had every right to be.

Keith too feared Shiro's reaction. He couldn't decide what would be worse; anger and aggression, or depression and despair. He wasn't a fan of lying, but it was too big of a risk. This would have to remain a secret. "I don't plan on telling him."

Keith felt Lance tense up momentarily, picking his head up to meet his gaze. "Are you serious?"

"Lance, he punched you over a rude comment. I don't think he can handle anything else."

The blue paladin felt the butterflies disperse. They were replaced with a sickening spiral. "So, what? I'm just supposed to pretend like it didn't happen?"

Keith began to panic, his perfect moment already falling apart. "I don't know what else we can-"

Lance wasn't finished. "You said you didn't think it was going to work with him anyway. Why does it matter?"

"I'm afraid, Lance. I just don't want anything-"

"Do not understand how weird this is for me? I've never so much as held hands with another guy before until today. This is the first time in my life that I've ever been so confused about myself. The only thing I know right now is that I want to be with you, and you want me to just sit there and act like nothings changed?"

Keith felt himself begin to shake. There were so many things he wanted to say, but his mouth could form no words. Could he please no one? He upset Shiro earlier, and now he'd upset Lance, someone he'd only wanted to see smile. Maybe he really wasn't made for this. Maybe intimate relationships were just something his mind didn't know how to process. He didn't want to look the blue paladin in the eyes, and when Lance's door opened, he leapt from his spot on the floor and scurried down the hall.

Hunk watched Keith brush past him and disappear out of sight, then turned to Lance. Safe to say, Lance's expression only increased his confusion. "Uhh….what's going on?"

Lance looked down at the floor dejectedly. "Oh nothing. Just having an identity crisis is all. Nothing major."

Hunk felt uneasy. "And Keith?"

"It's all his fault."

"What happened?"

Lance turned to look at his yellow clad friend, and Hunk really didn't like the look in his eyes. "I've never had to deal with anything like this before, Hunk. Never once in my life have I thought I was gay or bi or whatever. And then we go out into space and become defenders of the universe and I'm living with some shut in who clearly has the hots for me and then everything gets messy."

"Lance, what did you do?"

"Why do you assume I did something? It takes two to tango."

"Ok, look. I couldn't care less about anybody liking anything. But if everything Pidge has been spouting out about those two is true, you have no right to get yourself involved."

"Are you seriously scolding me?"

Hunk surprised himself with his own assertiveness. "You can act like the victim all you want, but you know damn well that Keith isn't somebody who needs to be messed with. He's already got a lot to deal with."

Lance knew Hunk was right, but was too angry to give in. He rolled his eyes and looked away. "Whatever. We all have a lot to deal with. It's not my fault he acts like a baby." Lance stood up, doing his best to shake everything off. "You know what? Forget everything I said. I don't care. If he doesn't want to admit that he's in love with me, that's his problem."

Hunk sighed, knowing his friend was going to be stubborn about this for at least a couple of days. He decided he could deal with this better when he had Pidge for backup. "I only came down here to tell you that we're about to start watching those Altean movies Allura and Coran found."

"Good. Let's go." Lance stalked past him out of the room, and Hunk silently wondered if he should have just kept quiet and let Lance stay in his room and marinate in his denial.


Keith couldn't stop shaking. The jolts being dispersed throughout his body were nothing like the little flutters he got when he was nervous or embarrassed. These were violent jerks that kept him feeling uneasy with every step he took. The water welling in his eyes wasn't making anything easier. He felt pathetic. Why was he so vulnerable to everything? This had all started with losing a little sleep and now he couldn't even control his own emotions. Or impulses. Like the impulse to make out with Lance.

The kiss was sweet, but Lance quickly became bitter, and Keith just didn't know why. It wasn't like he wanted to keep it a secret. Keith wanted to forget about everything else and just spend more time with the blue paladin, just doing whatever. But Keith also knew he had other….responsibilities. A relationship shouldn't sound so much like a chore, but it didn't matter. He was stuck with it right now, and being with Lance just wasn't an option. The red paladin just kind of assumed that Lance would understand and come to the same conclusion. He should have known all along. Lance wasn't one for subtlety.

But right now, Keith knew he had to stop thinking about him. He had to be prepared for whatever was going to unfold. He couldn't picture Lance exposing them by himself, but that's not what concerned him. This would only fuel the silent hatred that had been growing between Shiro and Lance, something that could literally affect the state of the universe. Most troubling would be how Lance acted towards him. He had to be ready for the awkwardness. Not being able to meet his eyes. Bitter words mumbled under his breath. Clenched fists and tense lips.

Keith pushed the image of upset Lance as far out of his mind as possible as he located the black paladin in the kitchen. Regardless of his current guilt, Keith needed to be comforted, and he knew Shiro would provide it whether he asked for it or not. Shiro had apparently been preparing a snack (Hunk had clearly taught him a few things), but stopped his efforts when he saw the red paladin. He studied him momentarily, probably considering saying "I told you so". He apparently decided against it and simply opened his arms to receive him in an embrace. Keith allowed himself to be engulfed by Shiro's strong, warm body as he blinked back more tears.

"It's alright. I'm here now." He ran his fingers through Keith's hair, softly smiling to himself.

"It's not alright." Keith didn't bother holding back, allowing a few dozen tears to slowly trickle down across his face.

"Tell me what happened."

Keith hadn't had time to come up with any type of excuse, so he decided to just lie by omission.

"He told me what he said to you before."

Shiro sighed. He couldn't imagine how that must've felt. If only Keith did as he told him.

"But then he said that's not how he really felt. And I thought everything was going to be ok. But then he got angry. I didn't know what to say."

"That's because he's a liar, Keith. He said all that to you because he wants to use you. He's messing with your head and you're letting him. He wouldn't say you were just a game to him if that's not how he felt."

Keith didn't believe a word of that. "I don't think he would do all of that on purpose. He seemed really upset…"

"I didn't think that's the kind of person he was either. But he's slowly showing more and more of his true self. At the end of the day, he's a douche bag. Does he have good qualities? Sure. And I used to think he was one of those jerks with a heart of gold. But the way he treats you is telling a different story."

Keith didn't like the way Shiro's words filled his head, making him second guess himself. He looked up at the black paladin. He wasn't sure what the look in his eye meant, but he didn't like it. He slowly eased himself out of his grasp, feigning contentment.

"Just don't worry about him, Keith. As long as we're together, he doesn't matter." Shiro returned his attention to the snack on the table. "Oh, we're about to start watching those Altean movies."

Keith was going to decline, in favor of avoiding Lance and being alone, but thought better of it. Shiro would probably insist they be together and skip out on the movies too. "Alright. I'm gonna hit the shower and then I'll come watch." He didn't wait for a response before slipping away, mind blank and intending to keep it that way.


Shiro chuckled out loud to himself. He couldn't believe it. Did Lance actually feel something for Keith? That was something he hadn't seen coming. No way. I must be reading too far into this. Or am I? Despite what he'd told his boyfriend, he seriously doubted the blue paladin had the mental capacity to be that manipulative. So why would Lance confess to Keith? What did he really feel? There were a lot of implications that Keithy boy had glossed over. It was almost too good to be true.

Shiro grabbed his food and made his way to the room where Pidge had set everything up. Everyone had already taken their seats aside from Keith who was still lingering in the shower. Shiro took notice of Lance's smile that didn't reach his eyes. Something was definitely going on.

Allura smiled (genuinely) and patted the spot next to her. Shiro plopped down and got comfortable, settling in for what was going to be a very interesting evening. Pidge started the film, as Coran informed them the opening credits would give Keith enough time to return. The film surprisingly didn't appear to different from a basic earth movie. Aside from the setting and actors being altean, it seemed the concept was the same. Keith returned just in time for the introduction of the main character.

Shiro smirked at the lack of room for Keith to sit, of course allowing him to sit in his lap. He knew Keith enjoyed it. He was just too shy to admit it. Shiro didn't miss the quick glances between Keith and Lance, and decided to put his theory to the test. Throughout the movie, he was purposely over the top affectionate with the red paladin. Wrapping his arms around him and giving him pecks on the cheek. Whispering in his ear and playing with his hair. Playfully poking him to make him squirm.

There was no mistake. Lance may have tried to focus on the movie, but his face said it all. It wasn't annoyance. It wasn't disgust. It wasn't embarrassment. It was clear and bitter envy. Shiro felt a sick sense of pride. Just showing him what's mine.

Keith on the other hand was very embarrassed and quickly excused himself when Shiro started tickling him again. Lance watched him go before returning a hateful gaze to Shiro. He was sick. Keith was clearly uncomfortable but that didn't stop him from doing whatever the hell he wanted. Lance knew he could wipe that smug smile off of Shiro's face in five seconds. All he'd have to tell him was the truth. Keith can't stand you. He wants me.

When Shiro got up to get a refill, Lance followed him to the kitchen. He couldn't let this go on any longer. He waited for the door to slide shut before crossing his arms and addressing his leader.

"You need to lay off Keith."

Shiro didn't even turn around, still getting his drink. "Says who?"

"Uh, anyone with eyes. He's obviously uncomfortable."

Shiro took a drink, still not bothering to face Lance. "Oh really?"

Shiro clearly wasn't listening to him. Lance decided to just pull out the big guns now. "He's only with you because he thinks he has to be. It's me he really wants."

Setting his drink on the counter, Shiro finally turned to face the blue paladin. His grin seemed sinister and Lance was visibly shaken. Shiro approached, and once again, Lance found himself looking up at the towering man. Refusing to be intimidated, Lance let his big mouth free. "What are you going to do? Hit me again because you know I'm right?"

Shiro's smile only grew wider, an expression Lance didn't think the black paladin could make. His voice was deep and hushed. "Just admit it Lance. You're a sore loser. He belongs to me. And you have to live with it."

Lance had no response for that, and Shiro shouldered past him and out of the kitchen. Lance followed him back to the movie, still trying to think of anything else to say. It was pointless. Keith had returned in their absence, and Shiro scooped him up off the couch and into his arms. Lance felt his stomach drop as he watched their lips meet as Shiro carried Keith away and out of the room. Pidge and Hunk exchanged "oooooo" sounds, but after the previous conversation, Lance was extremely worried for Keith.


The movie ended and everyone began heading to bed. Coran and Hunk both still had tears in their eyes from the emotional ending, and Pidge made fun of them all the way down the hall. Allura noticed that Lance had seemed uneasy through the whole thing, but didn't have a chance to question him before he made a mad dash to his room. It was probably for the best. She was dealing with her own issue right now.

She felt like an idiot. She'd sat herself right next to Shiro and Keith, and was mere inches away from them crawling all over each other. She could barely keep herself under control, completely on edge for the whole half hour it went on for. She was nearly drooling in anticipation. Seeing Shiro act like that had made her quite….aroused. The princess had wanted nothing more than to push Keith onto the floor and climb into the black paladins lap herself. Oh, why did it have to be this way.

It was exciting to her at first seeing the two of them together. She knew it made Shiro happy, and so she was happy. But now, seeing them so intimate, it was safe to say she was unhappy. It only made things worse that she had no one to discuss it with. Coran would probably scold her for all of the unladylike thoughts that filled her head when thinking about Shiro. She'd probably scold herself too. Allura thought she was so much more mature than this. But here she was being jealous and lustful and her mind filled with steamy thoughts…..

Maybe she should have stayed in her pod for a few thousand more years.