The Aes Sedai make camp, Nynaeve isn't doing well with the women, and Moiraine is struggling.


On the ride back to Tar Valon, Moiraine barely said a word. Her eyes always watched her sisters and their Warders – their behavior and interactions. Lan threw glances at his Aes Sedai, trying to be prepared should it be too much for her. But Moiraine's face was blank – no emotion, no grimace – her facial muscles didn't even move. But he saw her stiff posture. Her back was straight, and her shoulders pulled back like she tried to make herself look bigger or she wanted to seem strong. As if she had to prove anything to anyone.

Twice, Lan tried to pull her gaze at him by grabbing her hand and rubbing his thumb soothingly over her knuckles, but Moiraine was stubborn. She allowed him to touch her for a moment, though she kept her eyes fixed on her sisters ahead of her before she pulled her hand back.

Of course, the uncrowned king of Malkier was no fool. He knew exactly what the woman of the Blue Ajah did there. Sadly, he couldn't do much against it while they were surrounded by the others. Neither Lan nor Moiraine liked to display their feelings before others.

As expected, Nynaeve stayed close to Lan and sometimes even tried to start a conversation by asking questions about various subjects. The Warder answered politely, though his answers stayed short, his attention focused on Moiraine's behavior and movements – a fact that didn't go unnoticed by Nynaeve.

Egwene rode by the Wisdom's side. Like the woman of the Blue Ajah, she watched the other Aes Sedai – probably collecting information about those women who would teach her how to use the One Power for the next years. Now and then, she asked a question herself – all about life in the White Tower – but Lan couldn't answer them. So, the young woman turned to Moiraine, who needed several tries to realize she was spoken to, and even then, her answers were even shorter than Lan's and extremely vague.


They rode all day, and a camp was built when the sun started to disappear behind the horizon. Each Aes Sedai got her own tent, and there was a separate tent for the Amyrlin Seat and her Keeper of the Chronicles. The Warders who wouldn't stand watch for the night would sleep beside their Aes Sedai. Meanwhile, the Amyrlin allowed Nynaeve and Egwene to choose a tent for the night.

The stubborn Wisdom declared she and Egwene would sleep at the fire. Surprised, Siuan raised an eyebrow at her answer, then smiled knowingly. Nynaeve had seen the real purpose of Siuan's question. The woman of Tear had wanted to hear if those two women already had preferences about which Ajah they would like to join.

Lan wasn't happy about Nynaeve's declaration, but the young woman of the Two Rivers was deaf to his reasoning. She wouldn't share a tent with an Aes Sedai.

Everyone helped in any way possible. They collected wood for the two fireplaces of the Aes Sedai and the Warders. Others helped to build the tents and make them as comfortable as possible for the night. Some Warders went hunting or took care of the horses. Nynaeve and Egwene collected some herbs for Nynaeve's medical bag and for preparing tea. Moiraine ordered Lan to stay with the two women, who refused to let anyone else accompany them.

The woman of the Blue Ajah did her best to help prepare the tents. The red sisters threw disgusted looks at her, and Liandrin would have provoked the poor woman if Alanna hadn't appeared, watching over Moiraine and keeping the Reds at a distance. Moiraine pretended she didn't notice the looks and continued her work as if her sisters weren't watching her every move.


When the night fell, Siuan found Nynaeve and Egwene sorting the herbs. The Wisdom had found a place nearby Lan, who kept the Warders' fire alive. The Amyrlin had Leane, Moiraine, and Alanna with her, and Lan watched Siuan approaching the two women from the corner of his eye.

"Nynaeve al'Meara. Egwene al'Vere."

The Wisdom simply raised her head when the woman of Tear called her name, narrowing her eyes at the person before her. Meanwhile, the other young woman jumped to her feet and bowed respectfully.

Siuan smiled, then waited if Nynaeve would decide to follow her friend. Sadly, the Wisdom was too stubborn to see reason – not even when Egwene kicked her gently. When Siuan didn't continue, she lowered her head back to her herbs and kept sorting them. Alanna raised her eyebrows, shocked, while Moiraine shook her head, disappointed. The woman of the Blue Ajah was used to Nynaeve's disrespect regarding Aes Sedai.

"Nynaeve!" Egwene hissed.

The Wisdom sighed, though her hands never stopped working on her herbs. "Is there anything I can do for you? If you want some tea, I can tell you the water is already boiling and should be ready any minute. I'm sure Egwene will gladly fill your cups." For her last words, she received another kick from her friend – though it wasn't so gentle this time.

Surprisingly, Siuan's smile didn't falter, though her eyes glowed dangerously. "I thank you for the… offer, Wisdom al'Meara, but I'm here to invite you and Miss al'Vere to our fire."

"No, thank you."

This time, Siuan's calm Aes Sedai mask slipped at Nynaeve's cold tone, and her eyes shone with anger. This young woman had no respect!

"Do you intend to starve yourself to death? Your herbs may be healthy, but I doubt they fill your stomach." The voice of the Amyrlin was as cold as Nynaeve's had been – maybe even a hint colder, and the Wisdom heard it.

Angry, the young woman met Siuan's eyes again, both staring daggers at each other. Carefully, Lan moved to his feet, ready to jump between the Aes Sedai and the two women from the Two Rivers.

"The last time I traveled with Aes Sedai, the Warders allowed me to sit by their fire. Egwene and I will be perfectly fine eating among the men."

Siuan counted to ten, then turned her head toward Egwene, who was still standing. "Does she speak for you, or do you speak for yourself?"

Egwene gulped. The Amyrlin put her in an impossible situation. She would gladly join the powerful Aes Sedai to learn more about Saidar, the White Tower, and to become a Novice. Moiraine barely said anything, and Egwene wasn't stupid enough to ask one of the red sisters – they gave her chills – but Alanna was friendly and never said anything about being annoyed by Egwene's questions. But Nynaeve was her friend and the only one she trusted with all her heart. She couldn't leave her alone. But maybe she could assuage the angry Amyrlin. Politely, she bowed her head. "I thank you for the kind offer, Amyrlin, but I would like to stay by Nynaeve's side tonight if you don't mind. Maybe I could join you on another day if your offer stands for the length of our journey."

For several moments, it seemed like Siuan would insist they join the Aes Sedai, but she accepted their choice utterly. After all, she wanted those girls to become Novices, and until they had reached Tar Valon, those two were just talented women from the Two Rivers. So, she activated her smile again – though it was more for Egwene than for Nynaeve. "My offer stands and isn't bound to this particular night. Join us whenever you like. It is your decision. I just want you to know you're always welcome around our fire." Then her eyes moved to the Wisdom. "Both of you."

Moiraine and Lan exchanged glances. Lan – he had stepped closer to her after he was sure Siuan wouldn't strangle Nynaeve for her terrible behavior – raised an eyebrow slightly – his way of asking if he should stay with the two young women. As an answer, the Aes Sedai nodded shortly. She would sit with her sisters at the fire of the Aes Sedai.

The uncrowned king of Malkier repeated her nod as a sign he understood the order. But then the eyes of the Warder moved over his Aes Sedai. She looked pale and exhausted. Additionally, she let her shoulders slouch – a shadow of the woman he knew so well.

Of course, Moiraine noticed him staring and saw the worry in his eyes. Sighing, she turned her head away, avoiding his gaze. She didn't want him to worry about her.

Alanna heard her sister's sigh and turned toward the Warder and Moiraine. Quickly, Lan pulled his mask back in place, but it was already too late. The woman of the Green Ajah needed one look to see the worries in his eyes and the little frown on his forehead, and she knew the reason for it. Like him, she wasn't blind to Moiraine's behavior, but it was hard to get a word out of the woman from Cairhien.

Suddenly, Siuan moved back to the fire of the Aes Sedai, where the rest of her Daughters were already waiting for her return. Leane and Alanna followed her immediately, but when Moiraine started to move, she felt the gentle touch of Lan's finger around her elbow, holding her back.

Surprised, she faced him. Has something caught his attention? Lan's eyes bored into hers, telling her he was with her, and she lowered her head. Her protective Warder. Always looking out for her. But she couldn't deal with this right now. Not with Nynaeve and Egwene watching them – and who knew who else.

Lan didn't stop her when she followed her sisters. His hand slid down her arm until he could intertwine their fingers and give them a gentle squeeze. Moiraine hesitated for a moment when she felt the pressure of his fingers. The urge to throw herself into Lan's arms was strong, but now was not the time to give in to her longing. He had to keep an eye on the Emond's Fielder.

Reluctantly, she freed her hand, leaving her Warder to his new task.


After their dinner, both Aes Sedai and Warders stayed at the fire, talking, though their subjects were as different as day and night. The Aes Sedai made plans for the rest of their journey and their return to Tar Valon, while some Aes Sedai asked to start with Nynaeve and Egwene's training. Moiraine's sisters weren't blind to the potential of those two young women.

Meanwhile, the Warders kept the two women from the Two Rivers entertained. They were laughing, drinking, telling jokes, or making fun of each other.

Moiraine sat between Alanna and Anaiya – far away from Liandrin and her red sisters – but she wasn't listening. Her eyes wandered to the Warders, watching Lan from afar. Unlike his brothers, he was never laughing out loud – he wasn't the kind of man who would do something like that. But more than once, she saw a broad smile on his face – usually when the Wisdom was talking. Had he ever smiled like this when she said something? Lan smiled at her, but had it been a truly honest smile as big as it was now? She couldn't remember. Or maybe it was just her imagination driving her nuts. At least, one thing she knew for sure. Lan loves Nynaeve. He should be with her and not with me. I have nothing left to give to him. And he deserves to be happy.

Suddenly, Lan turned his head as if he had felt her staring. Even from afar, Moiraine saw the frown on his forehead. He couldn't feel her, and her staring must worry him. Sighing, the woman of the Blue Ajah turned her attention back to her sisters. Lan enjoyed the evening with his fellow brothers. It wasn't fair of her to worry him.

At the same moment, two red sisters stood up. "We'll check on the camp again, Mother."

Siuan nodded. It was no secret the Red Ajah didn't trust the Warders to protect them, and it was useless to argue with them about having faith in the skills of the bonded men. A fish would learn to swim backward sooner than a red sister would trust a man.

Fortunately, this was the perfect moment for the woman of Cairhien to excuse herself. "If you excuse me, Mother, I'd like to go to bed."

The Amyrlin narrowed her eyes at her lover. She had to be careful with her words. "Don't you feel well, Daughter?"

"It was a long day. Good night."

Moiraine didn't want to explain why she wanted to leave – why she felt uncomfortable sitting between her sisters. She wanted to be alone, hiding in her tent where no one could watch her. So, she left the fire behind her. Her eyes wanted to move back to Lan, but she forced them to stay on her tent. Focus, Moiraine. There's no need to torture yourself further than necessary. Lan would look out for Nynaeve and Egwene. He would be fine.

The woman of the Blue Ajah didn't see Lan watching her leave. Neither did she see him exchanging glances with Alanna. The green sister waited until the silent Warder noticed her staring at him, then nodded in Moiraine's direction. The message was clear. Follow her!

If anyone else had given him the order, Lan wouldn't have thought about following. But Alanna was Moiraine's friend, and Lan knew the green sister cared about his Aes Sedai. She wouldn't send him after Moiraine if there wasn't a reason to look after her. So, he put down his cup of tea and got on his feet.

"Don't tell me you're already tired," Maksim joked. "We haven't even started with the ale, Mandragoran!"

Lan smiled at his friend. "I'll be back. Someone has to ensure you don't drink all the ale, my friend."

"There are women present, you bloody bastard! Besides, that's a terrible accusation. Not once have I drunk the entire ale. I always share with you."

Lan raised an eyebrow. "And I think you forget Shol Arbela."

Ihvon burst into laughter, and the other Warders joined. Lan saw Nynaeve and Egwene furrowing their foreheads – they didn't understand what was funny about Shol Arbela – then the Wisdom noticed the stare of the Warder, and their eyes locked. She knew exactly why he left the fire, and he knew she wasn't amused by the grim line around her mouth, but he left anyway.


When Lan entered his and Moiraine's tent, his Aes Sedai stood in the middle as still as a stone. The Warder didn't need the bond to know what she was doing. She tried to touch the Source again. Sighing, he ensured she would hear the closing of the entrance to get aware of his presence.

Moiraine winced and clenched her hands in frustration. She only glanced at him before she went to her bed, turning her back to him. "Where are the two girls?"

"Still sitting by the fire."

"Is it wise to leave them alone? The Wisdom doesn't get well with strangers."

"She doesn't get well with your sisters, but she doesn't mind my brothers."

The woman of the Blue Ajah opened her mouth but swallowed the snarky comment. It wasn't Lan's fault this young woman acted so difficult. "I would still feel better if you stayed close to them. You're the only one she listens to."

Lan stepped behind her, gently letting his hands move over her arms, then burying his nose in her hair, inhaling her scent. Moiraine shivered when she felt his warm breath on her neck. If she wasn't careful, she would collapse in Lan's arms. The embrace of this man had the ability to make her feel safe and warm as if nothing could harm her as long as he was there.

"How are you doing?"

"I'll be all right." Light, her voice sounded hoarse. She couldn't cry. No, she wouldn't cry!

Instead of responding to her answer, his arms moved around her, pulling her close against his chest. This damn man knew she was fighting with her emotions! Moiraine wanted to tell him to let go of her, but she felt how tight her throat was. If she tried to speak, she would start to cry.

Patiently, Lan waited, listening to her careful in- and exhaling, which didn't help at all.

"Please."

It was one word, but it got barely over her lips. She needed to be alone – away from her sisters and from Lan. She didn't want them to see her struggling.

But Lan wouldn't be Lan if he left her though she clearly needed help. "Join me at the fire." Moiraine shook her head, but Lan continued as if he hadn't seen it. "I'll make sure Nynaeve behaves." Another shake of her head, so Lan pressed sweet kisses against her jawline. "Please," he breathed tenderly. "Do it for me."

The Aes Sedai swallowed hard. Why couldn't he give up? She didn't want to see anyone. No Aes Sedai, no Warders – and especially not Nynaeve and Egwene. It wouldn't help her to sit beside Lan and listen to the Warders talking about… well, about whatever those men talked about when they were alone. Moiraine realized she had never joined the Warders' fire when she and Lan had traveled with other sisters. "The Warders wouldn't want me there." Blood and ashes! Lan's plan worked! Thinking about his brothers calmed her thoughts and feelings, and she could speak complete sentences again!

The Warder noticed it too. "My brothers wouldn't mind. None of us would mind if you or your sisters decided to join us."

"But-"

"No Warder would send his Aes Sedai away, Moiraine."

"I know that, but this is your time of the day to have a moment to yourself."

Lan chuckled. A moment to himself. Right now, he would give anything to have Moiraine back – to feel her through the bond and to have her presence back in his mind. There was a big hole in his head where his Aes Sedai had been for the past twenty years, and he hated the loss. Why could only Aes Sedai unmask the bond? Why couldn't a Warder unmask it too? He would do it without hesitation. "Who says we want a moment to ourselves?"

Surprised, Moiraine didn't know what to say. She had never assumed Lan would like her to join him and his brothers. The Warders always seemed so free and relaxed when they sat together, drinking ale, while the Aes Sedai talked about business around their fire. What was about the other Warders?

The uncrowned king of Malkier noticed his Aes Sedai had calmed down and was lost in her thoughts. Tenderly, he kissed her cheek, then turned her in his arms until she faced him.

"Join me at the fire," he repeated his plea, taking her hands into his.

"Lan-"

Slowly, he moved backward, pulling her gently with him. His lips kissed her knuckles. "Please, Moiraine."

"I don't think this is a good… Lan!" Suddenly, the Warder gave her a quick pull, so she stumbled into his arms.

This is not good! If she didn't free herself quickly, it was possible Lan could persuade her to follow him outside. But her body was already betraying her. It melted against Lan, seeking close contact and the promise of safety. Frustrated, Moiraine realized she didn't want to let go of him. At the moment, this was the only way to truly feel him since their bond was masked, and the place in her head, usually reserved for Lan, was empty. And though she didn't want to admit it out loud, she needed him close.

Lan's hands rubbed up and down her spine. "Allow us to take your mind off your worries."

The Aes Sedai sighed heavily. She doubted it would be so easy to take her mind off things. "Lan, I-"

He backed away again and pulled her with him. Moiraine growled at him, but he didn't stop. Relentlessly, he brought her closer to the entrance of their tent. Insufferable man!


The next chapter will be uploaded on Sunday.

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