Goodbye Summer Hello Trouble!
Chapter IX
"Sam?" Peter waved a hand in front of the boy's face. After a few seconds he realized it was futile and allowed it to drop back down next to him. He then sighed and tried again, "Sam, talk to me."
The other teen lifted his face up to look directly into Peter's eyes. His expression was unreadable. Peter found himself clenching his fists. He wanted to say something. However, he did not know what needed to be said.
"You had a chance to stop that burglar." Sam uttered.
Peter's eyes widened. He then lowered his head as his blue irises darkened.
"However," Sam suddenly said, making Peter look up, "There was no way you could have predicted what happened."
"Still, what I did or did not do was," Peter began but Sam interrupted him.
"You made a mistake… sort of." Sam said as he gestured vaguely with his hand.
Peter frowned. He was about to ask Sam what exactly he meant, but the boy beat him to it.
"You are not a cop or a superhero or someone who is supposed to stop burglars or any type of criminal out there for that matter." Sam explained.
Peter blinked. He realized that what Sam was saying was true to most people's eyes. However, in Peter's eyes he had made an immense mistake – he had been a superhero; he had been able to do something to prevent that burglar from doing further damage, but he had not acted upon his superhero instincts. He had made the ultimate decision based on his identity as Peter Parker, not Spiderman; and he was going to regret that decision for the rest of his life.
"Pete, I…. I do not blame you for anything. I… I am not entirely certain why you told me all of this, but… I want you to know that I understand what you have been trying to tell me or at least I hope I do." Sam uttered.
Peter blinked. He had been startled back to reality. With a sigh he asked, "And what have you understood?"
"That people understand the concept of guilt differently. In my eyes I would always be partially to blame for what happened to my sister, whereas in your eyes I am not at fault. The same can be said for you. Therefore I am not going to repeat myself after I say this – even though in every other person's eyes you are not guilty, you will continue to hold yourself fully responsible for your uncle's death, am I right?" Sam responded.
Peter was stunned to speechlessness. He had never expected something so perceptive to come out of Sam's mouth.
"You are right. I am just not sure how exactly you managed to reach that conclusion on your own though." Peter replied.
Sam threw a napkin at Peter. Naturally, Peter dodged it. He then chuckled when Sam growled. Soon Sam joined him and they started laughing together. As Sam continued laughing, Peter could not help but observe how his face lit up. With a sharp intake of breath Peter realized that he had now made a very special friend. Nonetheless, he could not help but feel the usual pang of guilt that came with those words – Sam trusted Peter enough with his secrets, but Peter could not for the life of him share everything about his life with anyone.
Little did he know that on the inside Sam was dealing with the same predicament.
Spiderman swung through the air. He took a rather sharp turn and ended up landing rather ungracefully on a nearby building. He span his hands sideways until he managed to regain his balance. He then sighed in relief and rested them on his slightly bent knees.
"Didn't know the great Spiderman had missteps just like everybody else!" A familiar voice half yelled from above him.
Peter did not need to lift his head to see who it was. He smirked as he replied, "Didn't know people could see from buckets so big. Don't tell me S.H.I.E.L.D.'s superhero programme covers courses on such skills?"
Sam rolled his eyes before he responded, " Unfortunately, they don't. Doesn't change the fact that you could use one."
Peter grunted a reply. Sam frowned. When Nova landed in front of Spiderman he asked, "Alright, what's eating you?"
Peter's mind backpedaled. Was his mask made from see-through material?
"I don't know what you're talking about, Nova creep." Peter barked. He then regretted it. Even though he did not know who was behind the mask, he did not have the right to behave in such a way.
"Did you decide when exactly you would visit S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Nova enquired.
Peter was grateful for the change of subject. He sighed before he answered, "Not sure. Soon."
Sam growled, "Look, if you are having second thoughts about this,"
Spiderman raised his hands as he said, "Wow, who kicked your puppy today? I am not reconsidering anything. I am merely telling you that I am planning on visiting S.H.I.E.L.D. soon. I am just not certain when exactly I am going to be free. After all, I do have a life behind this mask."
"We all do." Sam uttered to the air.
Peter was astounded. It seemed that tonight both he and Nova were not in the mood for pointless banter or even bickering for that matter.
"I am having problems with a friend." Spiderman suddenly said, "You know, having such a secret and being forced to lie about it constantly because I don't want to endanger them. . ."
"Me, too." Sam sighed before he asked, "Does this friend go by a certain name or nickname? I am asking because if you want to talk about it and expect me to reply now and again, I don't want to keep addressing them all night as 'your friend' or 'that friend of yours'."
Peter nodded after he took a shaky breath in, "Alex. Her name is Alex."
"Ouch, is Alex more than a friend? Or is she getting far too nosy?"Nova questioned.
Peter's eyes widened before he chuckled, "No, trust me, she is just a friend and no, she is not getting too curious. I just feel like crap whenever I have to cancel on her or lie to her or ignore her… You know the drill I suppose?"
Nova made a few steps toward the end of the roof. He rested his hands on the railing as he whispered, "Don't I know it…"
"Sorry?" Peter uttered as he, too, rested his hands on the railing.
Sam gripped the railing as he iterated, "Yeah, I do know what you mean."
The two stared at the night sky. The stars could not be seen from all the artificial light. To human eyes these coldly lit bodies of energy were invisible or speckles of dust that would never be seen, heard of or smelled.
"Have you ever wondered what your life would be if you did not possess these powers?" Sam asked, "If you never made the ultimate choice to sacrifice yourself for the sake of others?"
"Yeah, I have." Peter answered.
Silence was bestowed upon them by the city that was never supposed to fall asleep. Peter sighed as he felt the somber atmosphere. He realized he needed to find a way to lift some of the tension off their shoulders.
"I will talk to Fury tomorrow. Right now I… I need to ask you something." Peter uttered.
Sam did not give a verbal reply. He simply looked at Peter and nodded. That gesture was indication enough that Sam was ready to listen.
"Have you ever felt strongly enough for someone that you were almost compelled to tell them the truth?"
Nova was caught off guard by the question. If he had to be honest, he had been expecting a few things, but something as personal as ever being in love was not one of them.
"What brought this on?" Sam decided to answer with a question.
"No reason in particular. I just… I am not asking for anything specific, I just…" Peter cursed under his breath when he continued to stumble with his words.
"You need advice from someone who's been there and I'm the closest one around?" Sam finished for him.
Spiderman was astounded. Peter's eyes widened when he realized that recently both Sam and Nova had had a tendency to finish Peter and Spiderman's sentences respectively. His ignored the urge to narrow his eyes at the coincidence.
"Yeah, that's exactly what I need." Spiderman confessed.
"You should've said so then," Nova quipped. He then sighed, chuckled and added, "Don't worry. I'll answer truthfully."
Peter held his breath during the few seconds it took Sam to utter:
"Yes, I have." He then went on to explain, "Her name was Carrie. She and I had been best friends, but at the age of… I don't know… I guess I was thirteen, maybe fourteen, when she kissed me on the cheek for my birthday. At fifteen I mustered up the courage to ask her out. We dated for about a year, but my uh…" Sam faltered.
The boy then breathed in and continued, "Then my superhero identity or rather keeping it a secret became far more demanding that it had previously been. I was almost sixteen when S.H.I.E.L.D. promoted me from a rookie to a fully fledged field agent. I could then go on more missions and fight more dangerous villains. Needless to say, the tasks were time-consuming and she ended up breaking up with me."
"I wanted to tell her. Many times I had the chance." Sam mumbled.
"What happened?" Peter asked.
"I blew it." Sam uttered, "I regret not telling her my secret."
"Why?" Peter enquired.
"She found out on her own." Sam murmured.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
A/N: A huge thank you goes to everyone who reviewed, favourited, followed, read. I hope you liked this chapter. A question – how is the pace of the story? Too short? Or heaven forbid too fast, though that seems inconceivable?
Important note: Updates may be delayed not only to this, but to my other stories as well. Please be patient. Also, thank you everyone for sticking with me for so long.
Until next time,
~ QueenofRhymes ~
