Sam blinked. It seemed that was the only action his petrified brain could currently conduct. He unconsciously clenched and unclenched his fists. He bit his lip repeatedly as his fogged mind tried to comprehend the newly acquired information.
"Sam!" Danny called out to him multiple times. However, Sam did not answer. He simply remained unresponsive in many ways.
It took him a while to remember how to breathe. He shook his head as his heart rate calmed down. Nova took in much needed gulps of air as his eyes focused on Danny's worried expression. Sam smiled faintly before he uttered:
"You can go."
Danny was bemused. He frowned as he tried to protest:
"But… are you certain that you will be able to handle it?"
Sam was not stupid. He was aware that Danny was quite perceptive and had probably already figured out that something had happened between Sam and Peter and/or Spiderman and Nova. In fact, Iron Fist had probably thought that by now Nova would have shared at least part of what had transpired between him and their future team leader. Strangely, he had been mistaken. Nonetheless, Danny was certain that sooner rather than later Sam would seek him out in order to confide in him and until then he would wait patiently for his lover to realise what was best for him.
"I appreciate your concern. However, I know my limits. Talking to Peter will in no way push me to them. In fact, it would prove to be an enjoyable challenge." Sam suddenly said.
Danny was surprised by the calm demeanor that Sam was currently displaying. With a small smile Danny nodded and dived in to peck Sam on the lips. Needless to say, Nova was taken aback by the unexpected gesture of affection. However, he was quick to reciprocate it.
As Danny withdrew he whispered, "If you ever feel the need to talk to someone, do not keep it in. Come find me and I will help you forget."
Sam nodded breathlessly. Danny smirked. He traced Sam's lower lip with his thumb and tapped the spot he had previously bitten.
"I hope you won't allow anyone to frivolously claim what is mine ever again." Danny said. He ignored the huff and glare Sam sent his way. In Danny's view he was right. He had warned Sam beforehand that he had a tendency to become jealous and possessive when someone hurt the people he cared about especially if the person in question was none other than Sam Alexander.
Sam walked back and forth in front of the doors to the infirmary. He had been informed that Spiderman was fine and would be discharged within the hour. However, he could not stop pacing. It seemed that talking to Peter about this was not going to be as easy as he had previously thought it would be.
Nova groaned as he ran a hand through his hair. He needed time to think. He needed to talk to Peter as well. So many questions and emotions were swirling inside his being that he thought he was going to explode. It was complex to deal with such treacherous emotions and dirty secrets. Sam sighed. Once this was over, he concluded, he would take a much needed break from all these mishaps.
With his head held high Sam entered the room where Peter was stationed. Nova walked briskly toward the sleeping teen and roughly shook him awake. He decided that the quicker he got this over with, the earlier his departure would come.
"What the hell?!" Peter yelled as he rubbed his tired eyes. He glared at the person who had woken him up and was about to give them a piece of his mind when he froze. His hands immediately shot up to his face only to confirm the morbid truth – his mask was not there to protect him from Sam's smoldering gaze. Internally he chuckled darkly – what an awfully ironic way to have his suspicions proven to be true.
"What are you doing here?" Peter opted to ask instead.
Sam rolled his eyes, " I should be the one asking that, Parker, or should I say Spiderman?"
Peter did not reply. He did, however, glare at Sam when the boy added, "I can't believe you didn't tell me."
"And I can't believe you would say something as ludicrous as that."
Sam crossed his arms and intensified his glare.
"I have every right. Last time I checked if you asked the right questions or said the right words, you would receive the response you were seeking." Sam spat.
Peter chuckled humorlessly before he responded, "And you actually believe that? Then, pray tell, how exactly am I supposed to ask you whether you're Nova?"
Sam hesitated for a moment. However, soon his glare returned to its previous ferocity before he enquired, "And you think that kissing me would do the trick?"
"Alright… I admit it was not the best course of action to take. However, I found no quicker and safer way." Peter answered as he looked away from Sam.
"Safer?! You call kissing me and risking our friendship a safer way?!" Sam exclaimed.
Peter turned his head around sharply and whispered, "I attempted to kiss you and, honestly… I wanted to do it. It did not matter whether I was going to find out that you were Nova or not. It would not matter to me. I wanted to kiss you, Sam. I've wanted to do it ever since that party before the school year started."
Peter's confession took Sam aback. He staggered backwards. His back soon collided with the wall and he slid to the floor in a desperate heap of limbs and sweat. He covered his head with his hands and shook his head when Peter called out to him. It was useless. He would not be able to answer anyway.
The seconds turned into minutes; the nervousness into accelerated heart rate and it, in turn, transformed into cold sweat. Both of the teens' breathing patterns were uneven. Both of them could not muster up the courage to look at the other. Therefore, they remained frozen, with their backs curled towards the floor. They had both intertwined their hands in a futile attempt to calm each other down.
Peter could not believe he had just confessed how he felt. He had not exactly told Sam he liked him. However, his declaration had been loud enough. Right now he could exactly fathom what he was feeling. Yes, there was apprehension. He could tell from the way his heart was racing with time. However, there was also relief. He could tell from the way the imaginary weight he had been feeling had lifted. And then there was nervousness, but there was also happiness. He was going to receive an answer, an answer he had been craving for the quite some time now. Needless to say, his patience was starting to run thin.
Sam was not in a better condition. In fact, he felt worse. Inside him there was pain. The burning pit was accompanied by guilt. It was true that he had felt drawn to Peter. He had talked to him quite often. He had also opened up to him. However, given the fact that he had just had sex with someone else and the feelings that had been rekindled, he knew he could not afford to lie to Peter. It was not going to be fair to either of them. With a thudding heart and sweat rolling down his forehead in waves he lifted his head up and said, "No."
"W-what?" Peter choked out.
"My answer to your unspoken question – do you feel the same way about me? - ..." Sam spluttered out, "is no. I am sorry for hurting you. However, I am not going to lie. After all, it would not have been better, if said 'yes' and then suddenly 'no', right?"
Peter blinked before he smiled sadly, "I guess not…" he whispered as he looked away.
Sam's fingers twitched. He wanted to console Peter. He hated himself for the pain the boy was undoubtedly experiencing right now. However, he knew that whatever he said would not be what Peter wanted to hear, but Sam was not going to utter it, no matter how greatly he wished he could see his friend's smile once more. He would not lie to him. He knew how much lies hurt and he was not going to cause Peter anymore pain, if he could help it.
"Would you mind telling me why?" Peter asked. He then added, "I-I mean… you and I did kiss… even if it was between Spiderman and Nova… or are you perhaps disappointed that…."
"No!" Sam yelled as he shot up and rushed toward Peter's bed. With defiance in his eyes he caught Peter's gaze and said, "Don't you ever think that I will be disappointed. Also, I meant every feeling I poured into that kiss."
The fire that was burning in Sam's eyes caused Peter excruciating pain. No tear fell. Spiderman did not allow it. However, he could not help the broken whisper of his unanswered question, "Then… why?"
Sam looked away. He inhaled and exhaled as though he were mentally preparing himself for a life changing confession. Nova then turned his head back and looked Peter in the eye as he answered, "I don't see how anything can happen right now."
Peter frowned. Sam sighed before he added, "I do not feel the same way about you Peter. Plus… there is someone else."
Peter's eyes widened. He smiled sadly before he breathed out, "Oh…"
Sam was reminded of the way Danny had uttered it. With a pang in his heart he realized that there was no emotion behind the same statement when iterated by the person he loved. However, once it was freed from Peter's lips it was laced with so many emotions that Sam swore he was starting to feel dizzy.
It took them some time to recover. However, what Peter said made Sam feel a little less guilty.
"Thank you for being honest with me."
Sam smiled as he punched Peter's shoulder lightly, "Anytime."
When Peter's face scrunched up Nova jumped and asked hurriedly, "I-I'm sorry. Did that hurt?"
Peter chuckled before he answered, "Y-yeah, a little, but I've been through worse. Beetle did not go easy on me."
Sam frowned before he replied, "Yeah, I heard. What happened?"
Peter smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head, "Let's just say I underestimated him."
"Didn't you call for back-up?" Sam questioned.
"No, I was stupid. I thought I had him. However, he surprised me. He had upgraded his ammo. It turned out his missiles were filled with poison."
"What?!" Sam exclaimed, "When did you notice?"
Peter laughed nervously, "I didn't."
Sam frowned before he asked, "How exactly did you not notice?"
Peter sighed before he explained, "The poison is a rare one. The doctors managed to extract most of it from my system, but they're still trying to produce an antidote. They're not certain where Beetle acquired it from. Also, they're not exactly sure how it works. All they know is that it takes around an hour for my body to start reacting to the poison. The effects of it are not pretty. It causes tunnel vision and muscle ache and relaxation. Basically, if White Tiger and Power man had not knocked me out, my heart might have stopped."
Sam's eyes widened as he whispered, "Does the poison have a particular smell?"
Peter frowned. He tried to recall exactly what the doctors had told him and soon his eyes widened before he exclaimed, "I think it does. From what I recall, the doctors told me that before the poison acts up, a strangely sweet smell is produced from you sweat glands."
Sam smirked knowingly before he uttered, "So that's why they knocked you out."
"What?" Peter yelled as he clenched his fists.
"Whoa, calm down. I meant it in a good way. I apologise for the way my teammates treated you, but White Tiger is instructed to knock down anyone who has been poisoned so that they will not move."
"Oh…I guess it does make sense…" Peter replied as he scratched his forehead.
Sam chuckled before he added, "Also, in case you're wondering, Power man is good at reading her singles so he acted upon it quite fast. My point is – don't be mad at them. They were only following orders."
Peter nodded. "It's alright. I understand." He responded before he questioned, "Sam… are we going to be alright?"
Sam hesitated for a moment before he answered, "I guess it depends on what you mean by 'alright'."
Peter shook his head and chuckled, "I meant whether things will remain the same between us. You have to understand I had not intention of jeopardizing our friendship with my abrupt confession."
Sam chuckled nervously before he replied, "I know you meant no harm, but I… I hope you manage to understand that I do not want to hurt you. Tell me when you need time away from me, alright?"
Peter frowned before he asked, "Why would I need to spend time away from you?"
"Well, I did just reject you." Sam answered.
Peter rolled his eyes. He rested his hand on Sam's shoulder, who tensed at first, but once his eyes met Peter's warm gaze, he relaxed and mirrored Spiderman's gentle smile.
"You did not necessarily reject me. I should not have put you on the spot like that. I needed an answer. You simply gave it to me. You were honest, Sam, for which I am deeply grateful. Please understand that I do not need time to recuperate. Actually, things will become more awkward if you avoided me. I want to spend time with you, Sam, regardless of the label we put to our relationship – we are friends, good friends I hope. And that is something I do not want to risk losing because of stupid infatuation. I promise you. I will bury these feelings deep within me and will never cause you such discomfort or emotional turmoil ever again. Or.. at least, I will try not to do it on purpose."
Sam was feeling dazed once more. However, soon he managed to recover. With a small smile he nodded and said, "Very well then. Rest as long as you can. I am afraid I have to go now, but I will see you soon, I hope."
Peter smiled and said, "Don't worry, you will."
Once Sam exited the room, Peter slumped back in his bed and allowed the tears to flow freely. He clenched his fists and shook his head. He did not sob. He just cried quietly, afraid that someone might overhear and rush to his aid. Once the pain became unbearable and the tears overflowed, he stuffed a fist into his mouth in order to muffle his wails. It appeared he had been wrong. Rejection stung worse than realizing you had been in denial.
