BPOV

I wasn't going to cry.

I refused to cry over this. I hadn't cried since I was 13 and I wasn't going to start now. I knew that I didn't have any fans, and this shouldn't get to me. I just couldn't believe how fake they were. God, this is why people die alone.

We got into Edward's car and I let my hair down, allowing it to cover the side of my face that was exposed to Edward. I knew he was fuming over what happened at his house and how his family acted. He was probably blaming himself for it. He seemed like the self sacrificing type and I knew that this situation was pissing him off just as much as it was me.

I was trying very hard to not cry, but it felt like I was holding back too many tears the dam was breaking. My eyes were stinging, there was a burning in my chest, and my heart and throat were aching. Soon the tears were flowing out of my eyes. I kept it silent and closed my eyes tight trying to stop the stream, but it was no use. The tears were running down my cheeks and falling down on my jeans, but I managed not to sob. Soon I had to sniffle, my nose was beginning to run. I didn't notice that we had stopped and were at the deserted strip of highway until Edward brushed my hair off of my face and behind my ear. I turned my head so that he wouldn't see me. I didn't want him to see me weak.

I heard Edward curse under his breath and hit the steering wheel. He put his hands on either side of my face and forced me to look at him. I closed my eyes. I couldn't bear looking at him while he was seeing me like this.

"Bella, it's ok to cry," He said and wiped the tears off of my face, "But don't you dare waste your tears on them. Not on those people I have to call my family," He kissed my cheeks as he said this and I opened my eyes to look at him. I gently pulled his hands off my face and got out of the car. I hopped myself on the hood of his car, leaned on his windshield, and lit a cigarette. Edward followed me out, leaned on the side of the car closest to me, and lit a cigarette of his own.

"I haven't cried since I was thirteen," I started. I figured that now was as good a time as ever to tell him my story. I don't know why, but I felt as if it was time for it to come out. We'd been dating for almost two months now and I knew his past, but I had yet to tell him mine. Now felt right.

"I lost my virginity at a very young age Edward," I said with a dark chuckle, "My uncle started molesting me when I was four, but he wasn't a total perv. No, he waited until I was eight to start raping me. My mom and my dad knew about this. They walked in on my uncle giving me a bath once and he was paying a little too much attention to washing my private areas, but they were very well known in this community and something like this would kill their reputation so they went on like nothing was happening. Plus this was my mother's brother. He practically raised her and he was the only family she had. She couldn't stand to be the one to put him in jail. They would never leave me alone with him, but he was still allowed to stay over at the house and drive me to and from places when there was no other choice. After about a year of that, I guess they got sick of the putting in the effort because he was soon allowed to be alone with me. When my parents were trying to care, he would only… touch me, but it was as if the restrictions had set him off on something. His attacks and rapes started to get violent," Tears were streaming soundlessly down my face. I wouldn't sob over this, but I couldn't stop myself from shedding my tears.

"This continued until I was 13. I guess that the bastard got disgusted with himself because that was the year he put a gun in his mouth. I cried over him at his funeral. I'm still not completely sure why I cried. My mom was inconsolable, and to this day I swear she resents me and blames me for his suicide," I looked over to Edward and his face looked composed, but I knew that this information was unsettling for him. I wasn't going to go on but he knew that there was more to tell. Edward held my hand, his silent way of telling me that I could keep going.

"I tried to go on with the rest of my childhood as normally as I could. It's what my parents wanted, but what they didn't understand – what the still don't understand – is that I'm not a child, that my childhood ended earlier than it should have.

"But I kept up appearances for their sakes. I joined a popular crowd, made friends with them, and tried to be like them. I realized, though, that I had serious trust issues and that I couldn't hold a relationship. I'd get with guys but I could never stay with one and that's how I got my flakey reputation. I also realized that it was hard for me to enjoy sex. Every time I'd do it, I'd just end up thinking of my uncle. I couldn't take that. I wanted to be able to share and enjoy that experience with someone that I truly cared about and who cared about me.

"In my attempt to take control over my own body, I slept around a lot. I'd hoped that someone would be able to break me out of that, but no one could. When I was 16 I just stopped trying. That night at the party I did not willingly sleep with James. I wasn't even sure what was going on, until it was half way over," I said getting angry as I thought of that night. I finished my cigarette and flicked it onto the asphalt.

"I was trashed and he walked me up to the guest room. Jessica was my friend and I would never do something to hurt her like that, but James wouldn't take no for answer," I said and I actually started sobbing through my words, "I was too far gone to really react. James had ripped off my clothes and was fucking me but I had no way to stop it. I had no control over my body. My brain couldn't connect with my limbs to fight him off." I couldn't keep going after that. I was crying too hard and no more words would come out. Edward wrapped his arms tightly around me. His embrace was the only thing holding me together. I didn't cry for much longer. I sucked it up and cut off my tears, embarrassed that I had let myself go like that, "My spirit was broken for all of five minutes after he was done. In that five minutes I was set on killing myself. I didn't believe that I could handle going through something like that again. I thought it was over after my uncle died. But I couldn't let him win. I found a strength I didn't know I had that night, and was not going to allow myself to remain James' or my uncle's victim."

"I'll fucking kill them all," Edward said after a few moments of silence, his arms tightening around me. I laughed humorlessly.

"I'm a firm believer in karma. Sooner or later, everyone gets there's," I said. I wrapped my arms around Edward and felt strangely lifted. Like letting Edward in, telling him my side, allowed me some kind of closure. I felt like I could breathe.

"I love you," Edward said. I felt my eyes widen and my breathing stop. Did he really just say that? Edward let go of me so that he could back up and look me in the eyes.

"Bella, these past few months have been the easiest months of my life. You've showed me something other than dysfunction. You've given me the ability to feel something other than anger and hatred. Bella. Isabella Swan, I love you," Edward said, his face completely serious and his eyes filled with passion.

"I love you too," I said without even thinking about it. I knew that I was feeling something strong for Edward, but I was too scared to put that word on it for fear that he didn't return my sentiments. I pulled Edward too me and gave him a fevered kiss. I wasn't sure what it was, but I needed him at that moment. I needed to feel him in me. I needed to be as close to him as physically possible, now that we were as close as two people could be emotionally and spiritually. I felt him pick me up, I heard him open the back seat door, and I felt him gently put me in the car all without breaking our kiss.

His back seat was oddly roomy for such a small car, but I wasn't going to complain about it. I licked his bottom lip and his tongue shot out to meet mine. He reached under my shirt and his hands gently caressed my sides, leaving a burning trail in their wake.

"Please Edward. I need to feel you inside me," I said, looking him directly in his eyes. He stared into mine a bit longer, as if looking to see if really wanted this. He apparently saw my resolve, because soon he was back to kissing me. He left my mouth and began leaving warm, open mouthed kisses on my neck. I moaned softly at the sensation and gently ran my nails down his clothed back. I was unsatisfied at that, and I removed his shirt. It was the first time I had ever seen him without his shirt. It was the first time that I had ever seen the scar the bullet left in the middle of his chest. I knew he was surveying my reaction, probably waiting for me to show disgust at his scar and make him take me home.

I leaned up and placed a delicate kiss on his scar, telling him that I loved everything about him and that his scar wasn't going to change that. Edward pinned me back down to the seat and attacked my mouth, his tongue thrusting into my mouth with a desperation that I hadn't felt from him before. He ground into my core, his hands digging into my sides in a pleasurable pain. We moaned in unison at the sensation and Edward removed my shirt. He kissed the newly exposed skin. His mouth was now going into territory that it hadn't been in before, but he trekked it as if he had been there hundreds of times before.

He removed my bra and pressed our torsos together. He pushed the stray hairs out of my face and kissed my forehead, down my nose, and kissed my lips once again.

"Are you sure that you want this?" he asked me. I ran my fingers through his hair and smiled at him.

"Yes, I am sure," I said with as much confidence as I could muster, so that he knew that I was in this one hundred percent. Edward kissed my lips, my chin, down my neck, and around my collar bone. His mouth was then, suddenly, on my nipple, sucking and gently biting on one while massaging the other. Unlike the other times men had done this to me, I really enjoyed this. I felt submerged in bliss. I moaned out loud and I felt Edward smile against my skin. He licked the curve under my breast, the action made my shudder. He was licking around my other nipple while unbuttoning my jeans. I felt my core weeping, begging for him.

He kissed down my stomach, pausing to lick and nibble at my navel before pulling off my jeans and panties. Edward was kneeling between my legs leaning over and staring at my fully naked body. I didn't feel shame or embarrassment like I had with the other men. I felt beautiful and loved. Edward was looking at me as if I were a goddess to be beheld, and it made a tingle run down my spine. I sat up and kissed his chest and down his well sculpted abs, while my hands worked to undo his jeans. I unbuttoned them and pulled them down as far as I could while he was still kneeling. He took his pants the rest of the way off and we were then naked together. Just as there were no more secrets, there were no more barriers.

I felt Edward's hand caress down my body from my neck down to the heat between my legs. He put a long, slender finger inside of me, and I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips as he slowly moved his finger in and out of me before pulling it out. He covered my body with his and spread out my legs. He positioned himself at my entrance, kissed me, and pushed himself fully into me as we kissed. We moaned into each other's mouths as he filled me up. He stayed still for a moment, allowing my small body to adjust to his large size, before he started moving gently in and out of me.

"God Bella, you are so tight," Edward groaned.

"I think you're just really big," I said, only half joking. Edward raised an eyebrow at me.

"Oh? You think you're funny?" He said, with a smirk on his face. I wasn't sure what that smirk meant so I swallowed my pride and denied his accusation. He just nodded his head like he believed me. Before I could register what was going on, Edward had one of my legs over his shoulder and the other over the front seat. He had pushed himself deeper inside of me and I screamed out as he immediately hit my g-spot. He wasn't thrusting very fast, but every thrust was harder than the last. He was hitting my spot perfectly and I was quickly losing my head.

The harder he'd thrust, the closer to the edge I would get.

Soon my legs started to shake and my back started to arch. Edward knew that I was close and he started thrusting faster. I began calling out his name and grabbing my breast as he pumped in and out of me. To take me completely over the edge, Edward reached down and started to massage my clit.

I was no longer aware of what I was screaming out, or if I was screaming out anything at all. I had lost all control, but it was in the best way possible. The only thing I felt was Edward, the only thing I saw was Edward, I was drowning in pleasure and I didn't feel like I ever had to come up for air. I had lost myself in him. I wasn't sure where he began, or where I ended and I didn't care.

Edward jumped off the edge with me and I felt him release his hot seed into me and I thanked God that I was on the pill. He flopped down onto me, and I wrapped my arms around him. He reached under my body so that he could wrap his arms around me too. When he finally pulled out of me, I felt empty somehow. It was as if he was taking a piece of me with him when he pulled himself out of me. In a way, I believe he kind of was. He was a part of me. Edward Cullen was it for me. I knew it. I could feel it.

EPOV

Normally I would never find sex as an eye opening experience. It was usually just something for me to do when I was bored. I always enjoyed it, but it was never like that. With Bella, sex was like an explosion. It wasn't like anything I had ever felt before. It was as if I had become a part of her, and she a part of me. After it was over and we were wrapped in each other I knew that Isabella Swan was it for me. After her, there wouldn't be another.

We exchanged more kisses and 'I love yous' before we separated ourselves from one another and put our clothes back on. We got in the front seat and I grabbed Bella's hand, needing to be attached her in some kind of way. I looked at her and she smiled at me. I don't mean a little sexy smirk, or a regular smile, but a real smile. A genuine smile. It was so beautiful that my breath hitched. I leaned over and kissed under her jaw, before starting the car and taking her home.

When we arrived at her house just after 2 am, we were having trouble saying goodbye. We instead, kissed and groped at every area of each other that we could.

"Mmm, I have to go now," Bella said as we made out in the front seat of my car.

"I know. You should get out now, before they send the police looking for you," I said and pushed my tongue in her mouth. I put my hand on her breast and squeezed gently. Bella responded by moaning and grinding her hand into my crouch. I was getting worked up and I knew that Bella needed to get into the house before I decided to take her right there in the drive way. I moved my kisses down to her neck, and began sucking and licking at the sensitive skin there.

"Ugh… yeah I need to go before I attack you in front of my parents' house," Bella groaned, and I chuckled. I kissed her lips with as much passion as I could muster, knowing that it would be the last time I would be able to do so until tomorrow. Yes, 8-12 hours is a very long time to go without kissing Bella.

"I love you," I whispered against her lips. My lips were only a breath away from hers and it was an impossible temptation to kiss her, but I knew that if I did I wouldn't be able to control what happened next.

"I love you too," Bella sighed. Bella, it seemed, had less will than I did and pushed her lips against mine. She bit my bottom lip, before licking the curve. The action made me shudder and I pressed my body against hers, allowing her to feel the hardness she was creating. Bella giggled, but her giggled turned into a moan when I grinded my hardness against her. She gave me one last deep kiss, told me she loved me, and hurried out of the car before we could get any hotter. When she got to the door, she looked back at me, blew me a kiss, and bit her lip. I mouthed to her that I loved her, and she walked through the door. I took a deep breath, backed out of her drive way, and made my way back to the house where I hoped that the Brat Pack would be asleep by now.

I got to the house and walked into the house. I was greeted by bright lights and Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie all sitting on the couch. I was having déjà vu, because as soon as I walked in they all went from being loud and talkative to deathly quiet. I didn't want to talk to them. I was pissed off at them when I left. After Bella told me her story, I was absolutely livid. I didn't want anything to do with them ever. They were judgmental, spoiled, pussies and I was already sick of them. I had every intention of just walking passed them, not paying them a second look, when Emmett spoke up.

"Look man, we're sorry Bella heard what we said, but we aren't sorry that we said it. You needed to hear the truth about her." I stopped in my tracks at his words.

"Where the fuck do you get off thinking you know shit about Bella?"

"We told you what we saw and what we know. Why can't you see it?" Alice asked. I walked over to them and stood behind a couch.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? Before I moved out here, I hadn't seen either you or Emmett since my mom died. You, Emmett, Carlisle, or Esme weren't there to try and guide or give me advice. You guys weren't a part of my life, and probably wouldn't have been a part of my life had my dad not died. Now here you are trying to tell me to stay away from the only person who gives a shit about me? You've got some serious balls to come at me with that kind of shit."

"You don't even know Bella. I do. None of you have any right to infringe on my life or make judgments on hers. So you all should just sit here and eat you fucking popcorn, watch your gay ass movies, and enjoy your perfect life, because you couldn't begin to even fathom the kind of shit Bella and I have had to go through," I said. I was on the edge of breaking. All of this was bringing me back to a person I didn't want to be. I was feeling an anger well inside of me that was sure to be dangerous and I needed to remove myself from the scene before it got bad.

"Maybe we could if you'd just let us in. If you'd let us, your family, get to know you, maybe we could help you sort through all of the shit," Emmett said, getting up and walking over to me. I backed away from him a bit. Not because I was scared, even though he was a big guy, but because I didn't want him to touch me. The only person allowed to touch me was Bella; everyone else had to keep their distance.

"I don't even know you," I growled. I didn't understand why they were all so eager to get to know me or to help me. It caught me off guard and I wasn't sure how to react to it so I reacted the same way I reacted to anything I was unsure of. I got extremely defensive.

"That's the point we're trying to make here," Jasper piped in.

"Where do you two fit in all of this anyway," I said, directing my attention to Jasper and Rosalie, "I'm not even related to you."

"You might as well be," Alice sang. I wasn't sure what she meant by that, nor did I care. I tried walking passed Emmett so that I could get out of that room and go upstairs where I could lie in my bed and think about Bella and the wonderful night I just had. I didn't want all of this drama and I was angry that they had brought it into my life. Emmett grabbed me by my arms, and my immediate response was to push him off of me. Emmett was a big guy, so I put as much force as I could into the push.

"Don't fucking touch me," I yelled at him. Emmett looked pissed that I pushed him and started walking towards me. I could see that he was looking for a fight and I was prepared. The anger that I had felt when he called my girl a skank, combined with the anger I felt after Bella's story, combined with Emmett putting his hands on me had me ready for a fight, even with someone as big as him.

"Edward calm down," Jasper said and ran over in between us, to act as a barrier so that we wouldn't hit each other.

"None of you have any right to enter my life like this. And none of you have any right to talk about Bella the way you did," I yelled at all of them, even though my eyes were on Emmett.

"Do you know what she's had to go through in her life?" I asked.

"What she's been through doesn't change what she did," Rosalie said.

"She didn't do anything!" I yelled, getting overly defensive. I couldn't keep this up or else I would end up either telling Bella's secret or hitting someone.

"What do you mean she didn't do anything? We all saw her…" Alice started.

"You saw a girl with a ripped shirt walking out of a room followed by her best friend's boyfriend. Yeah I heard you, but did you really look at her? Did you pay attention to her, or just the scene that was portrayed in front of you?" I asked, looking directly at Alice. I could see the wheels turning in her head, and I swear I almost heard the click when she finally put together. Alice covered her mouth with her hand. Rosalie gasped. Jasper looked like he just figured out something he already knew, and that confused me a little bit. Emmett smacked himself on the head and looked like he watched his puppy get hit by a bus.

"I can't believe I called her a skank." Emmett whispered, "Dude, I give you permission to punch me in the face." Emmett said, and I could see that he was totally serious. I walked around Jasper and stood directly in front of Emmett. He was maybe two inches taller than me, and about two times bulkier. But something told me that I could take him if I wanted to, but tonight I didn't want to. Despite the horrible things that they said about Bella, I could see that they were remorseful about it and that was fine for now.

"Maybe later," I said to him. I walked passed him and made my way up the stairs. I could hear the rest of them discussing how they couldn't believe they didn't see it at first, but I was soon out of ear shot and was grateful for it. I didn't want to think about the prick who dared take my Bella's innocence, or the bastard who poured salt in the wound. Instead, I wanted to think about the love we had found together, and how I was finally happy for once in my life.

SoundTrack

Shadow of the Sun AudioSlave

Color Blind Counting Crows

Flames VAST

Season of Love Shiny Toy Guns

Insects 10 Years

Another Know It All Chevelle

Truth Seether