Chapter 1 - Genetically Perfect Pig
Today was Quahog Clam day. At the beach, the town was holding a carnival to celebrate their holiday. Everything was clam related: games, shows, rides. Everything was to celebrate the clam.
"Step right up!" a carny said standing outside a tent that was labeled "Half Man-Half Clam". "Step right up! You won't believe your eyes! Step right up and see the half man half clam!"
"What a rip-off", Peter said as he, Lois, Chris, Brian and Barbara left the tent. "It's just Kim Cattrall sitting Indian style."
"Hey, check this out", Barbara said pulling Brian to a stand that said "Guess Your Weight."
The carny running the stand looked at her with a smile.
"Let's see", he said. "You weigh 130 pounds."
"Ugh, how dare you", Barbara said feeling offended.
She stepped on the scale ready to prove him wrong. The numbers on the scale flew until they read 114. Barbara jumped off the scale pointing at the carny.
"Ha! Put that in your pipe and smoke it", she said grabbing a teddy bear from the prizes.
She and Brian watched as Mayor West stood by the scale.
"Let's see", the carny said looking at him. "I guess 180 pounds."
Mayor West stood on the scale until the numbers read 15.
"Wrong", he said. "I'm 95% helium."
Brian and Barbara's eyes widened as they watched him float away into the air.
"How's that possible?" she asked.
"It's a cartoon", Brian said. "I don't question it anymore."
"Brian, Barbara, look what I won", Stewie said showing them a blue ribbon.
"Wow, what did you win that for?" Brian asked.
"For having the best pig in the competition."
"Wait, you bred a pig?"
"Sure did! Most genetically perfect one in the competition."
Brian and Barbara looked to see a giant pig that had muscles, buff arms and fists.
"Oh my god!" Brian and Barbara said at the same time.
"Yes, he's something, isn't he?" Stewie asked with a smile on his face.
"Are those fists?" Brian asked.
"Damn right! Show him, pig."
The pig raised his fist and punched Brian in the face. Barbara gasped as he went flying a few feet away.
"How the hell did you do this?" he asked as he got up.
"How did you keep this a secret from Peter and Lois?" Barbara asked.
"I'll let you in on a little secret", Stewie said. "I didn't do it. I got it from a farm."
"What the hell kind of farm breeds pigs like this?"
"Would you like to see it for yourself, Brian?" he asked.
"Yeah, I would", Brian answered.
"Can I come?" Barbara asked.
"Sure. This is going to blow your mind like the stereoptigog did in 1910."
A guy held a pair of goggles in front of him that had a picture on the lens. He smiled amazed as he looked into the goggles.
"Hey, I'm in New York City!" he said.
He pulled the goggles away seeing he was just standing in his house. He was disappointed and frowned.
"No, I'm not!"
He put them back on and smiled amazed again.
"Yes, I am!"
The man pulled the goggles away again.
"No, I'm not!"
He put the goggles back on.
"Yes, I am!"
He pulled them off looking confused.
"What's going on here?" he asked.
Brian drove Stewie and Barbara home to check out the farm that bred the muscular pig. Stewie took them to his room where he started opening a safe that was kept beside his dresser. Inside was a small remote of some kind.
"This is it", he said showing Brian and Barbara the remote.
"What's that?" she asked.
"It's how I got the pig", he answered. "You ever heard of the multiverse theory, Brian?"
"Well, of course I have", Brian answered. "But I'm wondering if you and Barbara have."
"So that means no, I'm guessing", Barbara said.
"Oh my god, so transparent", Stewie murmured. "Well, the theory states that there are in infinite number of universes coexisting with ours on parallel dimensional planes."
"Dimensional planes, right", Brian repeated acting like he knew what Stewie was talking about.
"Oh, don't do that. Don't repeat the last two words like you already kind of knew what I was talking about. You have no idea what I'm talking about."
"Cut him some slack", Barbara said. "Brian's probably having a brain fart today. We were up all night, weren't we?"
Stewie gave them a disgusted look remembering what he saw last night.
"Now in each of these alternate universes, the reality is different than out own", he continued. "Sometimes only slightly and sometimes quite radically. The point is every possible eventuality exists."
"And that's where you got the pig?" Brian asked. "In a parallel universe."
"Prepare yourself, you two and I'll show you", Stewie said standing close and pressing a few buttons on the remote.
The remote lit up and within a flash, Barbara, Stewie and Brian disappeared into the next dimension.
