Hoster's Note: I had a slight mixup with the documents. I incorrectly inserted the final chapter for the "Christmas Guy" adaptation that VBG will not be writing. Anyway, here's the real Chapter 5. I'm terribly sorry for the mistake.


Chapter 5 - The Office and Disney


Stewie, Barbara and Brian arrived to the next universe. They looked around seeing nothing but some sort of office.

"This can't be it", Brian said. "This doesn't look familiar."

"You're right", Stewie said. "Apparently, this is a universe where everyone has to take a poop right just now."

"What the hell kind of universe is this?" Barbara asked grossed out.

They turned to see some kind of conference happening. All the men were hopping around grunting with pained looks on their faces.

"Okay, Bill you got those numbers?" an employee asked.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Okay, just leave them on my desk."

"Okay, that works out fine for me. Where's your desk?"

"Doug knows where my desk is", the employee said. "Craig, are you good with this?"

"Yeah, it should work out pretty good for me, too."

Without saying a word, Stewie pressed the button sending him, Brian and Barbara into the next universe.


With a magical spur of light, Brian, Barbara and Stewie landed in the next universe. It was so colorful and smoothly animated. All three of them were designed to look cuddly and kid-friendly

"What the hell?" Brian said. "What's happened to us?"

"I don't know but I'm loving this place", Barbara said with a smile.

"Suddenly I feel all sweet and warm and fuzzy", Stewie said with a childish smile. "It seems we're in a universe where everything is drawn by Disney!"

"I love Disney!" Barbara said as all the Disney woodland animals surrounded them.

"Look, there's our house!" Brian said.

The Griffin house was designed to look like an old brick cottage. Brian and Barbara ran on all four feet while Stewie skipped.

"Look how gayly we run!" he giggled.

They went inside the kitchen to see Lois at the stove pulling out a freshly baked pie. She looked like Snow White except for her red hair.

"Oh, Brian, Stewie and Barbara", she said with a smile. "You're just in time for pie!"

"Did somebody say pie?" Peter asked.

Peter came floating into the kitchen following the steam that rose from the pie. As he smelled the pie, he suddenly broke out into song.

"Oh yeah, this is Disney", Barbara said.

"It's a wonderful day for pie. You can ask all the birds in the sky. And they'll answer real sweet. With a musical tweet."

Suddenly a bird that looked like Quagmire flew to the window and sang along.

"It's wonderful day for pie."

Meg and Chris were outside swinging on a tree. Chris looked normal but for some reason Meg had tentacles like Ursula from the Little Mermaid.

"For pie", they joined in.

"For pie."

"For pie", Lois sang.

"For pie", a coffee kettle with Joe's face sang.

"This place is wonderful, Brian", Stewie said. "Let's live in this universe."

"Gosh, it's pretty intoxicating, isn't it?" Brian asked as he took the Joe kettle and poured himself some coffee.

"Yeah, I want to live here", Barbara said getting comfortable.

"I want to hear more music about pie", Stewie said.

Peter picked him up and held him over his head smiling.

"It's a wonderful day for pie", he sang.

"And it smells a lot better than I", a skunk that looked like Cleveland sang.

"Everyone one in the house", a mouse sang.

"And this Adam West mouse!" Peter pointed out.

"The bees making honey", the bees outside sang as Chris ate honey from their hive.

"This Tom Tucker bunny", Tom Tucker sang.

Everyone joined in as they went into the house.

We all sing with glee. Cause we all agree, it's a wonderful, wonderful day for pie!"

The wicked hag from Snow White came into the door. It was the old man Barbara dubbed Herbert the pervert.

"You want a nice shiny red apple to put in that pie?" he asked holding up a red apple.

"NO!" everyone yelled and threw pies at him.

Peter slammed the door and walked away to enjoy more pie. Barbara, Brian and Stewie sat down to eat pie after they got comfortable.

"We could spend the rest of our lives here!" Stewie excitedly said. "It's perfect!"

"I know", Barbara said. "It's almost as if we've died and gone to heaven."

"Sounds good to me", Brian said. "Doesn't seem to be a thing wrong with this place."

The door opened as Mort Goldman stepped inside.

"Hello everybody!" he waved.

With no warning, all the colors went dark as suddenly everyone lost their friendly charm and became evil.

"JEW!" they all said darkly.

They grabbed Mort and started beating him. Barbara grimaced as she, Brian and Stewie watched.

"Oh yeah, I forgot", Stewie said. "This is a Disney universe."

"What does Disney have to do with this?" Barbara asked. "Disney's supposed to be the happiest thing for the whole world."

"I'll explain when we get home", Brian said frowning as Stewie got the controller out.

"Oh look how shiny my buttons are!" Stewie said distracted.

"Just press the damn button!"

Stewie pushed the button. Out of the controller came Bruce dressed up as Tinkerbell. With a wave of his wand, he sent them off before the beating got anymore gory.


Original Author's Note: Yes there are rumors that Disney was anti-Semitic. I wish it wasn't true cause I want to believe Disney respected everyone in the world. Don't want the best part of everyone's childhood ruined.