Chapter 8 - Griffin Dogs


Brian, Stewie and Barbara went to the Griffin house in the dog universe.

"Okay, we're new neighbors and your our pet human, Hotchkis, got it?" Brian said making sure everyone got their story straight.

"What kind of a name is Hotchkis?" Barbara asked. "I really want to know."

"I'm not so crazy about "Hotchkis" anymore", Stewie said.

"What do you mean?" Brian asked. "You came up with Hotchkis."

"I know, but how about Axel or Maximillian or Dex? You know, it's got to have an "x" in it 'cause that means I have cool parents who take me on expensive ski trips on spring break and I get to drink wine with dinner even though I'm only 14 and—"

Brian rang the doorbell to shut him up. They heard rapid footsteps and a loud voice that sounded like Peter inside.

"Oh my god! I know that sound! It means there's a potential intruder at the front door, or one of my pals! Either way, I'm excited and ready for anything!"

The door opened revealing a dog version of Peter.

"Hello!"

"Hello, my name is Blake Carrington", Brian said.

"I'm his wife, Vanessa", Barbara said.

"And this is our human, Gabe."

"Oh no! What?" Stewie asked said he didn't get a cooler name.

"We just moved in down the street and thought we'd stop in and say hi to all our new neighbors", Brian said.

"Well, great to meet you", Peter said. "Come on in. I'm Peter."

Peter led them inside. Everything inside was exactly the same as it was in the normal human universe.

"This is my family", Peter said. "My wife, Lois."

They saw a dog version of Lois. Her tail wagged as she smiled.

"My son, Chris", Peter continued. "Chris, stop licking yourself and say hi!"

The sheepdog who was supposed to be Chris got up and smiled as he panted.

"My daughter, Meg."

Meg in this universe was an ugly dog with a drooping face as she growled and drooled.

"Our puppy, Stewie."

Stewie was a poodle who wore red ribbons on his ears.

"Oh Stewie is adorable!" Barbara said.

"And these are our humans, Brian and Barbara."

"Nice to meet you", the human Brian said.

"Hello", the human Barbara said.

Barbara and Brian gasped as they saw the human versions of themselves. The human Brian had black hair, a large nose, a red collar and wore a white sweater and black pants. The human Barbara had long blonde hair, a long nose, a blue collar and wore a yellow sundress.

"Say hi to human Brian, Black", Stewie said. "You too, Vanessa. Say hi to human Barbara."

"Hi", Brian awkwardly said.

"Hello", Barbara said.

"Mommy, I want to play with the new human!" puppy Stewie said.

"Only if it's okay with Blake and Vanessa", Lois said.

"Yeah, sure it's fine", Brian said. "Gabe is great with puppies."

"I swear to god", Stewie whispered. "I hope the next universe we visit is all Koreans."

The puppy Stewie took Stewie's leash and took him upstairs.

"Oh just look at them", Barbara said. "They're so adorable."

"Yeah, quite the pair", Brian said.

"We should have puppies someday."

"Us?" he asked shocked. "Puppies?"

The doorbell rang making Peter spring up and run for the door.

"Oh my god! Who is it? I got it!"

He opened the door revealing a dog using wheels to walk. Obviously, it was a dog version of Joe Swanson.

"Hey, Joe", Peter said.

"Bonnie and I are having company tonight", Joe said. "Wondering if I could borrow some wet food."

"Yeah, sure thing."

Stewie looked at Joe curiously. Peter smiled and gently poked his nose.

"That's Joe", he said. "He's our local human catcher. So don't misbehave or the human catcher will come after you, Gabe!"

"My name is not Gabe!" Stewie yelled before biting his finger.

Peter yelled and threw him onto the floor.

"You're in big trouble, you little crap!"

"You shouldn't have done that, little fella", Joe said. "You just earned yourself a trip to the pound!"

Joe took Stewie and through him into a van that said Quahog Human Control.

"Stewie!" Barbara said.

"Look, I'm sorry about this", Brian told Joe. "Let me just pay the fine or whatever and I'll make sure this doesn't happen again."

"You can pick him up tomorrow", Joe said. "Just bring a trash bag."

"What does he mean by that?" Brian asked the human Brian and Barbara and puppy Stewie.

"Any human that bites a dog gets euthanized", human Brian said. "You know that."

"They're going to put him to sleep?" Barbara screamed.

"If you want to put it that way, yes", human Barbara said.

"No, they don't know that", puppy Stewie said. "They're from another universe where dogs are subservient to humans."

"Oh you mean like that time we—"

"Yep."

"When we bounced around between universes?"

"Yep."

"And you couldn't figure out how to—"

"Yes!"

"Brian, they can't do this!" Barbara said.

"They're going to kill him!" Brian said. "We got to get them out of there!"

"It's a tough world here", human Brian said. "You hear about it every night on the dog news."

"It's sad", human Barbara said. "But what can we do about it?"