Author's Note: This chapter is slightly.. dramatic. Angsty, and filled with a whole lot of angst for Juliet. Be forewarned.

Heartland:

Chapter 5: Judgement

Ut incepit fidelis sic permanet

(As loyal as she began, so she remains)

-Unknown

Juliet was sitting beside the waterfall, thinking about another swim when she realized this time that multiple of The Others were now staring at her from the brush. Now she knew something was up, especially when Widmore stepped out.

"Hello there, Juliet."

Juliet frowned. "What do you want?"

Widmore just shook his head. "I'm afraid its not about what I want," he told her. "This is about what it decides.."

Juliet narrowed her eyes in confusion at first. "It?" she questioned, staring at him. It was only when she heard the noises that it hit her, he was talking about the damned black smoke monster. She took a deep breath realizing the damn thing was coming from nearby The Others', and jumped over the side and into the water.

Widmore smiled and shook his head. She thought she could run from her judgement? That was more amusing then anything.

Juliet pulled herself out of the water, high-tailing through the woods and heading God knows where. She wasn't even entirely sure she knew which direction she was heading, all she knew was that she had to get away from that thing. It was only when she nearly ran into Richard that she stopped from her full-throttle run, realizing Sawyer was standing right beside him.

"Where the hell you runnin' to?" Sawyer asked, staring at her strangely. It took a moment for the look of fear to register with him. "Or from.." he added suddenly.

Juliet glanced at the two, then glanced back when she heard all the trees rustling again. That damned thing was already catching up.

Sawyer and Richard looked over as well.

"Son of a bitch.." Sawyer said, watching the black smoke wallow into view towards them. He was about to grab Juliet and run when suddenly Richard had a grasp on him, holding him back from moving towards her. "What the hell are ya doin?" he yelled at him.

"Sorry James," Richard stated. "I don't have a choice but to let itjudge her."

Sawyer just looked appaulled. Judge? What the hell kind of smoke judged people? "Juliet.." he said, looking at her. "RUN!"

Juliet stared back at him, then back at the smoke monster looming closer. She didn't want to leave him there.

"Dammit, go!"

Juliet closed her eyes for a moment before turning to do as he said, instead she ran right into Widmore before she had even moved a foot. She struggled in his arms as she went to get away. There weren't a million hostiles, she could do this. She grabbed his arm when he grabbed her and wrenched it, completely flipping him over her shoulder as she had done to Kate that one time in the rec center over three years ago.

Sawyer grinned as she did it.

Richard held back the small smirk at watching Widmore go down. Karma sucked. It was too bad this was Jacob's wish, he would simply have to stop her. He handed Sawyer to the three men that had suddenly come over, and then grabbed Juliet himself, facing her towards the monster which was now right up in front of them.

Juliet struggled once more, at least until she realized Richard's hold was dangerously too strong for her. Instead now she found herself leaning back into him with the smoke monster in front of her face.

Richard shook his head, "I'm sorry to do this," he told her, before shoving her forward, into the smoke.

"JULIET!" Sawyer yelled, attempting to pull free from the three men.

Juliet frowned in the midst of the smoke. She glanced all around her only to see absolutely nothing. Simply the smoke. At least until all of her guilts suddenly filled the smoke in a violent outburst of images. She watched herself, taking the vials for her sister, she watched herself leaving with Richard to go to the island, leaving behind the sister she would never see again. She watched as she failed to save all the pregnant women on the island. She bit down on her lip, falling to her knees watching as she stared at Goodwin's body embedded on the stick, and she watched as she once again, shot Danny.

She let the tears fill her eyes as she clasped her hand over her mouth.

"How long have you been sleeping with my husband?"

"What the hell is she doin' here?"

"She's not coming with us."

"After everything I've done to get you here, everything I've done to keep you here.. how can you possibly not understand... that you're mine!"

Juliet let the tears fall as she covered her ears now and closed her eyes. But that didn't help either.

"But it does work.. I'm pregnant.."

"She's under my protection."

"Thank you, Juliet. You gave me good news."

"He wanted me to kill them. Ben.. he told me to kill both of them." -- "How can he tell you to do anything?" -- "I don't know.. but he knew how to get to me.. and he knew where they were going, and what they were doing. You don't understand.. these people came here to wage war against Ben. And Ben's gonna win, Jack. And when he does, you don't wanna be anywhere near me." -- "Why not?" -- "Cause he thinks that I'm his... and he knows how I feel about you."

Juliet glanced up, watching the scene unfold as Jack kissed her. She remembered it. Hated it. She hated it because he'd made her feel safe. She'd hated it, because he'd left, leaving her alone again and feeling entirely hated, and deprived of the only safety she'd had in years.

"He knows where to find me.."

Juliet pulled her knees to her chest wrapping her arms around them and burying her head in her knees, trying to block the image out.

Suddenly the screaming made her look up. She watched the flaming arrows, watched everyone running. Even watched herself as she ran with her arms around one of the plane survivors then pushed her forward and stopped to throw sand on one of the bodies hit with the flaming arrows. And she watched as Sawyer ran to her, pulling her up.

"Come on! He's dead!" -- "No..he's.." -- "Come on! You wanna be dead too?! Come on!"

She frowned, staring as Sawyer dragged her. Watching herself in the cloud of smoke, remembering it all so vividly as she turned to look back.

"There was nothing you coulda' done! Come on we gotta go now!"

"Who are those people? Are they yours? Did they shoot the arrows?" -- "You wanna crawl out there and ask them?" -- "Well you don't gotta be a wise-ass.."

"I'm gonna make this quite simple. You're gonna tell me what you're doing, how many of you there are, and how you got here." -- "Let her go." -- "Unless you're answering my questions, don't speak! I want you to tell me everything or I'll cut off her other hand." -- "What?!"-- "Other?!" -- "The first one isn't negotiable. Its just to illustrate how serious I am." -- "Don't!" -- "Hold on! Just hold on, chill out! We're not supposed to be here! Something's happening to the island, there are these flashes.." -- "Do it!" -- "No!" -- "Wait a second! I'll tell you whatever you wanna know!" -- "Do it!" -- "NO!"

Juliet closed her eyes tightly. Was this its way of judging her for what she has done? By going through her memories and digging out all that's happened? Making her relive everything?

"John.. if whatever you're attempting to do, actually works.. thank you." -- "You're welcome."

"You still got my back?" -- "Absolutely."

"I love you." -- "Hm.. I love you too.."

Juliet stared at the final two images, and watched as they stopped just as easily.

Sawyer stared, unable to completely comprehend what was going on when he finally saw Juliet again. "Juliet?!"

Richard nodded his head towards his men. "Take him out of view.." he told them. He knew, the monster had only begun the judgement and had not decided her fate yet. It had taken the long, sorting through her guilt and through her memories for all that she had done to make up for it. Judgement was something that was meant to happen when you were alone.

He noticed though, the men were having trouble moving Sawyer at all.

"Son of a bitch, let me go!" he yelled at them all, trying to fight his way over to Juliet.

Juliet turned her head, looking at him.

Sawyer frowned, watching the tears cascade down her face. What the hell was that damn smoke doing to her? "Juliet! Dammit.. run! Go!"

Juliet shook her head, she simply laid her forehead back down against her knees.

"What the hell have you done to her?" Sawyer yelled at Richard, breaking free and beginning to run to her.

Richard sighed before taking one of the rifles from the men and swinging it against the back of Sawyer's head. "By the time you wake up, it'll be over.." he told the now unconscious man, then glanced at his men. "Let's go." He watched Widmore stand, slowly dragging himself with him and the other men into the foliage.

Juliet crawled over to Sawyer when she noticed what happened. She continued letting the tears fall, laying her forehead against his. "Why.. why are you doing this..?" she questioned, glancing up at the smoke, and now only seeing Danny Pickett.

"Why?!" he yelled, hovering above her. "You ask why? You let Colleen die! You shot and killed me!"

Juliet closed her eyes shaking her head. "I had to.. I had to shoot you."

"Why?" he asked, his voice still enraged.

Juliet stared up at him. "I had to.. it was the only way Ben would let me go home. I had to go home.."

"So I had to die?!"

"Kate and Sawyer had to go back!" she yelled. "It was the only way Jack would save Ben! You wouldn't let them go! You were gonna kill them!" she cried out before once more laying her forehead against Sawyer's.

"Juliet.."

Juliet glanced up in shock at the voice. "G..Goodwin?" she questioned. She could only stare in disbelief at the man she'd once loved. The man Ben had sent to die.

"You're still blaming yourself, I see.."

Juliet clasped her hand over her mouth once again, not sure how to even respond.

"Did I die for no reason?" he questioned.

"What?" she asked in disbelief.

"Did I die for loving you, without you ever loving me back?"

Juliet said nothing at first, too shocked to speak. After a moment she shook her head. "No.." she said. "I do.. I did.." she stated. "I told you.. I told you Ben wouldn't like it.." she said in a hushed cry. "Why couldn't you believe me about Ben?" she asked, even more tears falling then before. "If you'd listened.."

"So it's my fault?"

"No!" she cried out, balling her fists up on Sawyer's shirt.

Richard frowned as he watched. People were judged on what they felt guild for. Clearly she didn't kill this man, but she felt guilt over his death nonetheless. Where was the fairness in judging her for something so.. helpless?

"It was my fault.." she whispered. "I should have just stopped seeing you.." she told him. "It's my fault Ben sent you out there.." she relented. "If.. if I trusted mine and Harper's instinct about what he would do.. we never should have been together.." she stated, looking down somberly.

Richard never actually felt bad for people. He never felt guilt. This was going to eat him up for a long time to come. He watched, as once more, her guilt vision disappeared, only to be replaced by a woman. Juliet Burke obviously had a lot of guild for a lot of different reasons. But he realized, so far she was passing her judgement.

"Come home, Jules.."

Juliet felt the tears burning her eyes, and she refused to look up this time.

"You promised, you'd be there for me.."

Juliet bit down on her lip, closing her eyes and refusing to look.

"Juliet.. don't do this to your own sister. Look at me.." she said. "At least show me you haven't forgotten about me and Julian."

Juliet stared up, her eyes red and swollen from the tears.

"Why didn't you come back?"

"I couldn't.." she whispered.

"Of course you could."

"I tried!" she yelled, banging a fist on the ground. "I wanted to.. I tried.." she told her. "But I had to stay.."

"Why?"

"To save you.." Juliet stated. "Your cancer came back.. I had to stay, so Ben would make it go away.."

"And you trusted his word, that he'd cure me if you stayed?"

Juliet frowned, looking away. "What else could I do?" she questioned quietly. "Chance that it was false and let you die?" she asked. "I had to.. I had to keep you safe."

"Why not when Ben was gone?" she asked. "Why didn't you come back then? You could have gotten on that Dharma sub. It may have gotten you back to the right year."

Juliet looked down at Sawyer.

"You stayed here for him? a man?" she asked.

Juliet let her hand touch Sawyer's cheek as she looked up. "I.." she whispered. "He needed me."

"You needed him."

"We needed each other.." Juliet stated, the tears forming once more.

"I needed you!"

Juliet stared in shock, as suddenly her sister, her best friend, had her hands around her neck, choking her.

Richard couldn't help but stare in disbelief.

"Rachel.." Juliet choked out. "I... I n-never.. wanted to l-eave you.. for s-so long.."

"You're lying!"

"I'm sorry.." Juliet cried. "I'm s-sorry.." she said again, crying through the pain, and the anguish. It was the last thing she remembered saying when suddenly everything went dark, and she simply felt herself falling forward.

Richard watched. He watched as Juliet fell forward onto Sawyer's chest, his head in her lap and her body sprawled across his chest. And he watched as the smoke simply disappeared into the woods, looking at the two laying there. Had it killed her?

()()END()()

Um. Don't hang me. If I die.. you'll never know what happens next? Due to a really long judgement, and Juliet's memories flooding around anyways, I simply skipped a flashback in this chapter.