Chapter 43

The days were winding down. The holidays came and went without much news, except for a brand-new year. And the inhabitants of Grimmauld Place were enjoying the last remaining days together until the majority of them had to return to Hogwarts. Well, except for Buffy who decided to squeeze in one last day in Sunnydale before her holiday came to a close.

"Only in Southern California can it be the middle of winter and still be over seventy degrees," she said, sunglasses over her eyes and lounging on a blanket.

The Scoobies had decided that today was too sunny to be spending their time indoors, so loading up a picnic basket, they headed to the park to enjoy a warm day in early January.

"Bet you missed that," Xander commented beside her.

"And how."

"Xander, did you eat all the Doritos?" Willow asked, sifting through the basket.

"Yes, I did, and I am not ashamed to admit it."

Rolling her eyes, Willow closed the lid and went back to her laying position. Irritated at being left with a craving.

"Some people fish. Some people read," Buffy said. "Xander eats."

"We all contribute in our own way."

"All you're contributing to is starvation," said Willow.

"But the point is I contribute."

Rolling her eyes behind her dark sunglasses, Buffy lifted herself to a sitting position to face her original redheaded friend.

"So, where's Oz?" she asked. A note of gentleness in her voice.

A small, saddened sigh escaped Willow as she slowly mimicked her friend's position. "He's in L.A. On a gig."

"How are things between you two?"

"Oh, you know, strained and awkward."

And that was an improvement.

"And you?"

"Guilty and apologetic," she stated, a humorless side smile appearing on her face, before it was swiped away completely. "I don't think he's ever going to forgive me."

"I thought he already had."

"He did, but you know, a guilty conscience makes for an unsure me."

"Shakespeare?"

"Rosenberg."

Buffy offered her a sympathetic smile, and then offered another one to her other heartbroken friend.

"What about you?" she asked Xander, the same gentle, empathic tone in her voice. "Any luck with Cordelia?"

"I've begged, I've groveled and I'm two phone calls away from a restraining order," he said, moving to a sitting position as well. "But you know what really bugs me?" He turned to Willow. "Okay, we kissed. It was a mistake. But I know that was positively the last time we were ever gonna kiss."

"Darn tootin'!"

"And they burst in, rescuing us from Spike, without even knocking? I mean, this is really all their fault."

"Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic," Buffy said.

"Mine is much more advanced."

It had innocently started on the eve of a Homecoming Dance, where two old friends seemed to have really seen each other for the first time. And driven by hormones and what if's, shared a secret kiss that didn't stop at one, even if they were currently attached to someone else. And the can of worms eventually opened when Spike had returned to Sunnydale after getting his heartbroken by Drusilla once again, and had kidnapped Willow so she could perform a love spell, with Xander also being dragged along to the old factory for no reason other than he happened to be with Willow at the time. And when Spike left them so that he could retrieve the Wiccan's magical supplies, the two old friends let their hormones and the feeling of impending death overtake them. And it was in mid-kiss that Cordelia and Oz charged into the room ready to save the day. And have their hearts broken as a result. But Cordelia's pain didn't end there. As soon as the image of Xander and Willow completely registered in her mind, she snapped back around and within her first few steps, fell through the dilapidated stairs. And right through a rusty, metal rod, piercing her abdomen. Fortunately, the worst she got were a few stitches, and a few days off from school. But unfortunately, her broken heart wasn't so lucky. None of their hearts were.

"Sooo," Buffy began, the word stretched out as if were trying to find something to say, which she was. Hoping to find a topic for lighter conversation. "Where's Faith?"

"AWOL," Xander replied.

"She kinda disappears on you guys, huh?"

"We try to include her in our fun," Willow said. "But most of the time she bails."

"She does seem like the loner type. But she's cool. At least that's what I got when I talked to her."

"That's right," said Xander, nodding his head slowly. "She told us she ran into you the last time you came to good old Sunnydale."

"She did?" A streak of panic bolted through her chest. "Wh-what did she say?"

She shouldn't have spilled her heart so easily. She didn't even know if she could trust Faith. What if she had told her friends? Buffy didn't want them to know her stress about Hogwarts. They would only worry, and they had enough going on in their own lives as it was.

"That's it."

A relieved and happy smile appeared on Buffy's face. Maybe that Faith was an all-right girl after all.

"You know, Buff," Xander said, heavy in thought. "I've been wondering about something."

"Okay," she drawled, confused when he didn't continue straight away.

"You said that your mom freaked when she found out you were the Slayer, but she's a witch right? You said she studied at that Hogmarts place."

"Hogwarts."

"And you said you guys studied Vampire Slayers there," he continued seamlessly, brushing off the correction. "So, why did she have a major wig when you told her? I mean, wouldn't she have understood the deal?"

You would think so, wouldn't you? But like all things, it wasn't so cut and dry. The staff at Hogwarts brushed over the Slayer during the students' first year. The history, the skills, the 'In every generation…' thing, but it was a one-day lesson. Seeing as it coincided with vampires. A lot of the details were left out. Including the exact origin of how a slayer gains her sudden abilities. Which left one with too many questions. And added to Joyce Summers's worry. Because it wasn't just Buffy being chosen that made her mother behave the way she did. It was everything that happened before that. It was Buffy's life in general.

"Some stuff happened during my second year," she started, her voice immediately becoming low. "Involving our current big bad."

"That Volleyball guy, right?"

"Yeah," she smiled at the name, but she wasn't going to correct him. Voldemort didn't deserve it. "He possessed someone I knew. And made them do some…well, some pretty bad stuff. Mom kinda freaked when she heard. A lot of the parents did. That's why we left. She thought that if it could happen to that girl, it could happen to me. She didn't wanna risk it. So, when I told her about being the Slayer, it brought all that stuff back. Added to the short shelf life she knows we slayers have, and it scared her. That's why she went postal. That stuff combined with all that other stuff…she didn't know how to handle it."

They didn't need to know the truth. She didn't even like to think about it at all. The nightmares were enough for her.

"Guess your mom really had reasons to go crazy, huh?" Xander stated, sympathetically.

"Yeah," she replied, a flash of memories appearing and disappearing in the blink of an eye. Memories she felt were going to haunt her forever.

"So, what happened to the girl?" Willow asked, wondering about the girl Voldemort had possessed.

Buffy stilled her thoughts. Trying to keep them at bay as she concentrated on Willow's question. But soon realized that there was no easy way to answer it. So, the only way to explain it…

"She's okay now."

…was with a lie.

"Voldemort just left her alone?"

"There was a fight, and Harry, a guy from school, kinda saved the day. He stopped Voldemort before it got too bad, and she…she put it all behind her."

…and another lie.

"Wow, so you actually had a life before us," Xander said. "I don't how to feel about that."

"I'm going with jealous," said Willow.

The rest of the afternoon was nothing but smiles and laughter. Buffy didn't want to waste a single minute of California sun, so she spent all of the remaining daylight outdoors where the sun grew brighter and hotter before it slowly began to settle. Casting a cool shadowy breeze over the town. And it was only then that they all decided to head back inside. Seeing as Buffy had somewhere to be.

"So, we'll meet you in a few hours?" Willow asked, rolling up her blanket.

"Yeah, I just need to see Angel before I go," Buffy said, her voice a little softer when she spoke his name. "Will you guys try to find Faith for me? I kinda wanna see her before I leave."

"Sure thing, Buff," Xander nodded.

"Thanks."

Supplies packed, they went their separate ways. A tight feeling in Buffy's stomach in every step to the mansion. Her insides tingling in a mixture of emotions only Angel brought out in her.

The aged structure was quiet when she arrived. The only sound was the crackling of the fireplace as she slowly made her way through. She found him out in the atrium. And as her eyes came to rest on him, the world stopped.

He stood there shirtless, beautiful, and in deep concentration. Unaware of her presence. His arms slowly lowering before him, and without pause, he moved them gently to their next position. His movements fluid and soft in the exercise. His arms moved gradually in many different directions, but it wasn't until he swept them to his right, did he finally see her standing there. A jolt of delight shooting within him.

"Buffy."

Her cheeks immediately pinked, and she briefly glanced at the floor from her embarrassment. Her eyes shifting to the side for a second before she looked up again.

"I didn't know you could do that," she said, a small smile on her face.

He smiled back. Pleased that he could still make her nervous. Reaching down, Angel picked up his dark shirt from the floor and covered himself.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I'm better," he said, walking back inside. Buffy wordlessly knowing to follow. "I can sleep most nights now."

"That's good."

They settled into the couch near the fireplace. The heat circling them.

"How are you?" he asked, honestly concerned. The last time Buffy had been here she seemed bothered. Even the time before that when she had saved him during Christmas. Her eyes weren't normally bright then. They were clouded over by something she wouldn't say. Angel didn't like them that way.

"I'm good," she replied. Honesty in every word.

He looked into her eyes, and he could see it. They were still slightly tinged with a shadow he knew would never go away, but they were bright again. Lighter.

"You'll be heading back to school soon, right?"

"Day after tomorrow."

"And you won't be coming back for a while," he said sadly, more to himself than to her.

"Not unless the world's ending," she replied. "So, I'm looking at next week."

He couldn't help but smile. There was never going to be anyone like her was there?

"I'm sure your friends are going to miss you."

"Yeah," she responded, her voice taking an immediate saddened tone. "I'm really gonna miss them, too."

They grew silent. Their minds off with words they couldn't say. Feelings they couldn't express.

"Are you going to keep slaying when you get back?"

"That's the plan," she responded, relieved at the distraction from her thoughts. "There really isn't much to do there. No Bronze or local hangout. But a girl's gotta keep busy."

"You're being careful?"

Buffy nodded. "Full of carefulness."

He nodded at her reply. His eyes were on his hands as he picked at the couch.

"I worry about you," he confessed softly.

"And I worry about you."

He felt that jolt of delight again.

"I'm getting better," he said, raising his eyes again. "The memories are getting easier to bear."

He shouldn't have to bear at all, but there was nothing she could do. Angel needed to get through this the natural way. No matter how much Buffy wished to swish or potion the thoughts and nightmares out of his mind.

"Angel," she began, her voice now calmly serious. "There's actually…I was hoping there was something you could do for me."

Anything."What is it?"

"I was hoping you could keep an eye on Faith," she requested, expecting the look of surprise on his face. "It's just that Willow and Xander tell me that she doesn't really hang out with the gang much. And she hasn't been here that long, so I don't think she has any real friends yet. And the slayer gig's a rough deal. As lonely as it is. And I just…I don't want her to feel like she doesn't have anybody to turn to."

As tough as Faith tries to be, being the Chosen One, especially on a Hellmouth, takes its toll on a girl. Buffy, after all, knew that from experience. It's lonely and scary and doing it without any human contact or compassion can change a person in the worst way.

"Have you met her yet?"

"I bumped into her the last time I was here," she said. "We talked. And I…I like her. So, now I worry."

"She seems…lost, when I talk to her. Lonely," he confessed. Unknowingly causing a pluck of jealousy in Buffy at his words. But, there was nothing she could do about that, was there? Stupid curse.

"And that's where you come in," she said, forcing her voice to remain even. "Just not too much, okay?"

"Okay," he smiled, pleasured at her brief glimpse of insecurity.

She stayed for another hour. Squeezing the last remaining drops of her Angel-time before she had to go back. Before she finally had to move on.

The school was deathly quiet. Bringing back memories of all her nights spent there. She really didn't have much of a life back then, did she? Pushing through the library doors, she felt like she had traveled back in time. To the first day she had stepped into this place. Back when she was a freshman and she believed she had escaped everything demon and magical. Which didn't last very long that very day when she came face to face with…

"Hello, Buffy."

"Hey, Giles."

And she had to admit how hard it was not to slip into her own Britishness whenever she was round her Watcher back then. Which obviously didn't seem to matter now. Except she had been California-d too much to revert back to it completely.

"How's Angel?"

"He's good," she replied, moving to the only table in the room and setting down her pack.

"Hey, Buffster!" Xander came barging in, with Willow beside him and Faith, who was strutting languidly after.

"Hey, B," the dark-haired slayer greeted. "Heard you were looking for me."

"Surprised they actually found you."

"I was in the neighborhood," Faith shrugged, hopping onto the table.

"So, what's with the sudden convergence, Buff?" Xander asked, plopping down into a chair.

"Did you change?" Willow asked suddenly, noticing that Buffy was wearing jeans and a sweater, and not the short skirt and strappy top she had worn this afternoon.

"What?" she asked, completely forgetting she had changed at Angel's, and looked down at her warm and toasty outfit. "Oh yeah, well, it may be warm here but it definitely ain't back home."

Willow and Xander looked at each other when she uttered those last two words. The meaning ringing heavy in their hearts.

"Home?" the Wiccan asked, upset tones in her voice. "Like England?"

"Yeah, you know, that way," she said, pointing ahead of her. "I think."

Buffy noticed Willow and Xander's saddened expressions, while Faith just looked uncomfortable.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"Well, we kind of thought…I mean, since your mom had a chance to cool off and everything…and she knows about you being the Slayer…we thought that…"

They thought she was going to stay. And it surprised her in an upsetting way because she really thought they understood her life now, a life that was not here, and she had to dash their hopes of Buffy becoming a Sunnydale resident again.

"I thought…I'm not coming back," Buffy dropped gently. "I mean, I'll come to visit and all, but I'm not coming back to stay."

"Why not?" Xander asked, puppy-dog eyes and all.

"Because, as much as I love you guys, I don't belong here," she replied. "I belong back at Hogwarts."

"Well, what about after?"

"I still got two more years before it becomes after, and even if…England's my home. Not here."

"B-but what about the slaying? And the Hellmouth?" Willow asked.

"You already have a slayer," she said, looking at Faith. "A damn good slayer. I think it's safe to say that the Hellmouth is in pretty good hands."

If Faith was uncomfortable before, she was on a whole new level now. Compliments were not something she was used to, and all she could do was hide a smile and avoid eye contact.

"What if I give you a shiny nickel?" Xander asked.

Buffy smiled. "No."

"Two shiny nickels?"

"No."

"Okay, a quarter, but that's as high as I can go."

Buffy's smile remained with each of Xander's bribes, but that joyous smile turned saddened and apologetic quickly.

"You know I can't stay," she eased out. "But I'll promise I'll visit as much as I can. And we still have that pen-pal thing to keep in touch."

There was no way to change her mind. They knew that. Damn it. But they understood. Buffy's life didn't belong here. It belonged back in Giles-Land. Which was Buffy-Land now, too, wasn't it? Back in the school of wizards and witches and magic.

"We're really gonna miss you, Buffy," Willow sniffled a little, walking to her friend and enveloping her in a hug.

"Just won't be the same without you," Xander said, joining them.

"I'm really gonna miss you guys, too."

They held each for a second longer, saying the good-bye they couldn't when Buffy left months ago without warning, before slowly pulling apart.

"It's like an episode of Full House in here," Faith commented. "Are you guys all about the hugging?"

"I am," Xander said unabashedly.

"It's the only time he can touch a girl without her running away," Buffy said.

"We all have our methods."

Moving a very short ways to the table, Buffy opened up the backpack she had brought with her. Looking through the endless amount of space, thank you, Remus, she finally found everything she was looking for and pulled out four individual, medium-sized gift bags.

"First you're a witch, now you're Mary Poppins?" Xander said.

"You know I could just not give you your present."

"I'll be good."

Each bag was handed to each person. Willow and Xander giddy at their gifts, Faith once again uncomfortable at the show of kindness and Giles was…Giles.

"Not that I'm not grateful, because I am, but I thought you already gave us our Christmas presents?" Willow asked.

"I did. These are nothing big, just some fun stuff I thought you might like."

They all delved into their bags and their eyes widened with surprise at the objects they found.

"Candy!" Xander cheered.

"Not just candy. Wizarding candy," she said, and then her voice turned serious in her warning. "So, be careful."

"Why would we have to be careful?"

"Acid Pops?" Willows asked, lifting up the sweet.

"That's why. Those suckers literally burn a hole in your tongue," she said, and couldn't help the grin at their frightened looks before she quickly explained. "It's only a spell. Don't worry. It'll heal over after."

"Awesome," Faith said coolly, trying not to smile, and searched for more candy.

"Drooble's Best Blowing Gum?"

"Creates blue bubbles that won't pop for days."

"Fizzing Whizzbees?"

"Makes you levitate."

"Ton-Tongue Toffee?"

"Makes your tongue grow ten times its normal size."

"Ice Mice?"

"You hear chatters and squeaks, but no real mice."

"Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans?"

"They mean that literally."

"Chocolate Fro –?"

Xander didn't have time to finish his question because as soon as he unwrapped the curious little box something jumped out.

"Frog!" Willow yelped, not being a frog fan, chocolate or not.

"Not real frogs," Buffy said, smiling again at the horrified looks on her friends' faces, and the slightly panicked one on Willow's. "They have a spell on them that makes 'em jump like that. But they're just chocolate."

Buffy grabbed the frog, which landed on the table, and took a bite out of it as an example. Which was slightly green-face worthy when you originally thought it was a chocolate-covered frog, and saw it jump just a minute ago.

"See," she said, showing the still frog, which really was just chocolate through and through.

"Freaky," Xander shuddered, but still took the candy from Buffy and ate the rest of it, nonetheless.

"Well, my chocolate frogs are up for grabs if anyone wants," Willow said, grabbing them all from her bag and gently setting them down on the table, afraid they were going to pop out of their boxes and attack her.

"Besides the chocolaty goodness, it's the cards you want, anyway," Buffy told them, taking an empty candy package and pulling out the collectible. "It's the wizard equivalent of baseball cards. Each cards got a famous witch or wizard."

Buffy handed the card over to Xander who admired it, astonished. "Cool…Hey! Where'd Dumbledore go?"

"Remember what I told you about portraits in the magic world? Same deal with the cards."

"Cool. Or is it wicked?"

"Either's good."

Buffy had an abundance of sweets back home. It was only right to share. It was worth it to see her friends' amazed faces at the many treats the Wizarding world had to offer. And it was way easier to come by for her than it was for them.

"Mars bars!" Giles exclaimed suddenly, ecstatically, too. "Jelly Tots! WHAM bars! Fruit Salads! Oh, these are my favorite."

"What kind of crazy wizard candy did you give him?" Xander asked.

"The normal British kind," she said. "Although some of those weren't so easy to come by."

"Did you sell your soul?"

"Only half. I got a deal."

The gang all went back to enjoying their candy that wasn't normal candy. Buffy's joy growing at their wonderment and little bits of happiness she could give them.

"Thank you, Buffy," Giles said, standing before her with an unwrapped Wispa in his hand.

"You're welcome," she smiled in return.

He swallowed his small mouthful, and suddenly became very serious. The smile gone from his face, and he had that look he usually got when the world was coming to an end.

"Buffy, there's, er, there's something that I need to talk you about," he said seriously. "In private."

She would've demanded right then and there what it was, there was no reason to keep it from her friends, but the look on his face stopped her. Looking to the trio, she noticed they were still being entertained by the many treats she had given them.

"Okay."

Quietly, they made their way into the office, and closed the door behind them. If Willow, Xander, and Faith noticed, they didn't come-a-knockin'.

His face hadn't relaxed, and it worried her even more. His quiet made her feel on edge.

"Giles, what is it?"

He wasn't sure how to word it. To make it sound as serious as it really was. He would just have to tell her the truth and hopefully she would understand.

"I, uh, I have been getting reports from my sources at the Council recently, and they have mentioned something that I feel you should know," he said. "It seems that the Ministry and the Council have been conversing with each other. Travers and Fudge in particular, and often. And according to my sources, it seems that your name has been mentioned on more than one occasion."

A cold chill ran down her spine. "Why?" she demanded.

"Well, from, er, f-from what I've been told, from what my sources have heard, it seems that someone has been extremely interested in your whereabouts after you left Hogwarts, and of your return," he said, gravely. "And that same someone has also been requesting more information on you."

Umbridge.

"I'm not quite sure what that means. If it means anything at all, which I'm sure it doesn't. But I thought it best that you should know," he said, his voice trying to be comforting. But it didn't help, he could see it on her face.

Buffy's eyes felt hot. Her hands turning to fists as her jaw clenched. That old toad was sticking her stubby little nose into her personal life. Snooping into her past where she didn't belong.

Ever since that night after detention, Buffy knew that Umbridge's ribbety little wheels had been turning. Ideas springing into her head that Buffy would rather prefer didn't. But Umbridge was taking it too far. The Ministry? The Council? She crossed a line.

This wasn't good. Giles knew that, but there wasn't anything he could do to stop it. Buffy was out of his reach now. Halfway across the world. All he could do was worry from afar. But another worry was reserved for the look in her eyes. The look she would get when her mind was set and her primal instincts were at their highest.

"Be careful, Buffy," he said, in both concern and warning, because that 'someone' who had been prying into Buffy's life didn't know what kind of person they were pushing.