Chapter 44

Be careful, Buffy. That was never going to stop, was it? Her life always seemed to be full of 'be careful's. Trudging up the stairs, Buffy headed to her mother's room. She would need to know she was back or else, and that 'else' was always a biggie, and then Buffy would finally be able to plop down on her bed and sleep the rest of her vacation away. This whole time difference deal was so not good for her energy levels.

Tiredly, Buffy turned the knob to her mother's room and pushed the door open.

She really should've knocked first.

"Oh! OH! Scarred for life! Scarred for life!"

There they were. Joyce Summers and Sirius Black locking lips like there was no tomorrow.

"Buffy!" They both exclaimed, quickly pulling apart.

"Wha…I-I-I…"

Words. She needed words here. Of course, being mentally scarred wasn't helping matters.

"Buffy," Sirius said gently, walking towards her like she was a wounded animal that would attack without a moment's notice.

Her mind sprang to life again and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"You!" she said accusingly, pointing her finger toward him for good measure. "You…shush!"

And they both watched as Buffy pivoted right back around and hastily went back down the stairs. Uh-oh.

"…can't trust anybody, always gotta keep an eye out…" Buffy huffed all the way down, loudly, and irritatingly. Giving Mrs. Black the evil eye when the ratty old curtains flew open and the old woman was ready to shout, but as soon as she caught sight of the no-nonsense girl the curtains closed again without a sound. "…leave 'em alone and this is what happens, just gone for a day, a day!"

"What are you going on about?" Remus asked.

That seemed to have snapped her right out of her rumblings, and Buffy looked up surprised and angry all rolled into one. How did she get into the dining room?

"Buffy!"

"Buffy!"

Sirius and Joyce came barging in. Their faces flushed and urgency in their voices.

"You two," Buffy said, her voice tight, snapping around to face them. "How…how…?"

"What's going on?" Harry asked.

Everyone had gathered from different parts of the house to the little room as soon as they heard Buffy's angry stomps, which had been very loud indeed.

"So, I'm guessing she knows now?" Remus asked, smugly.

"Knows what?" Ginny asked.

Sirius and Joyce glared at the werewolf. He was definitely not helping the situation.

"You shush," Joyce said to the grinning Remus.

"Knows what?" Harry echoed.

With her hands firmly placed on her hips, Buffy turned to him.

"Your godfather and my mother…were…they were…" The words seemed to be stuck in her throat as the disturbing picture couldn't get out of her mind. "I can't even say it."

"They were what?" The Twins asked wiggling their eyebrows suggestively.

"Ew," she said strongly.

"It was nothing like that," Sirius said. "Buffy just happened to walk in on us while we were –"

"Kissing!" she interrupted. "They were kissing!"

"I thought you couldn't say it," Remus teased, enjoying this entirely too much.

"Shush!" Buffy ordered.

"They were what?" Harry asked, shocked, and turned to look at Sirius and Joyce who were turning beet-red.

"All right, Sirius!"

"Good job, mate!"

The Twins cheered. But as soon as they saw Buffy's face they immediately quieted down.

"So, you two…you're…you know…" Harry tried to ask with flamed cheeks.

"I think this is a matter we should be discussing, with you and Buffy, in private," Joyce said.

"I agree," Buffy nodded. "Everybody out."

"What?" Fred and George asked. "But, we –"

"Out!"

But they were going to miss all the fun. Pouting, they all began to exit the room. As slowly as they could.

"Ah, nice try," Buffy said, pulling Sirius back from the line when he tried to sneak away.

"Why does Harry get to stay?" Fred asked.

"Because his Sirius's godson," Joyce replied, and that was that.

Door closed and there they were. Godfather and godson. Mother and daughter. And who would've guessed it would've been the adults who had some explaining to do.

"Okay, spill," Buffy said, arms crossed.

"Spill what?" Sirius asked, nervously joking to ease his tension.

"Not helping," she told him, and that pretty shut down any joking mood he felt.

"What do you want to know?" Joyce asked.

"Well, I don't think Harry and I want to be mentally traumatized for the rest of our lives," Buffy replied, not wanting any more disturbing images in her mind than she already had, "so, why don't you just stick to the facts and avoid anything gross."

"Okay," her mother replied. "Anything specific in mind? Harry?"

Joyce could see him shrinking away beside her daughter. Uneasiness on his face and uncomfortableness in his stance. It was obvious as to why and the least she could do was give him a little nudge.

Harry wasn't so sure he should be here. Sirius was his godfather sure, but this felt like a family-only situation and Harry didn't feel like he fit. Buffy was Joyce's daughter, she had every right to an explanation, but Harry wasn't blood related to any one of them. He should've left when the others did. But he could see Joyce trying to fit him in as much as she could, and a heartstring plucked at her effort. The least he could do is repay her kindness. Besides, he didn't think he could handle disappointing her. No matter how small that disappointment would be.

"O-okay," he stuttered, smiling nervously. "How, uh, how long have you two been…together, I guess is the right word?"

"Well, we've been seeing each other for, I believe…three months?" Joyce said, then turned to Sirius for confirmation.

"I'm so glad you're so sure," he sarcastically said. "But yes, three months."

"You know just because I'm the woman in the relationship, it doesn't mean I have to remember all the details," she retorted to his comment.

"Actually, it does," he replied.

Joyce felt her blood begin to rise. "You chauvinistic –"

"Not in front of the children," he interrupted, smugly.

"Oh god," Buffy uttered, her stomach queasy. "This isn't foreplay, is it?"

"What?!" they asked, turning to her in astonishment.

"I thought you couldn't stand each other," Buffy said, not really wanting an answer to her previous question.

"Said who?" her mother asked.

"Observation, mostly."

"What? The bickering?" Sirius asked.

"I would've gone with all out shouting, but sure why not."

"That's nothing, just…"

Sirius turned to Joyce and a secretive little smile appeared on their lips. And that was the unwanted answer right there.

Buffy made a disgusted sound in her throat. "Ugh, it is foreplay."

And Harry widened his eyes before shaking his head. "I really didn't need to know that," he mumbled.

"It's not foreplay," Joyce said, her face almost completely red now.

"Sure it is," Sirius grinned proudly.

They all turned to him with questioning looks, but that didn't diminish his unapologetic smile one tiny bit.

"So wrong," Buffy said to herself. "So very, very wrong."

Joyce gave Sirius a reproachful look, before turning her attention back to the two teenagers.

"The point is, Sirius and I…are involved," she said, her voice calm and stern in only a mother could pull off. "And I know we should've told you, you deserved to know, but we just didn't know how to go about it. No one else knew, well except for Remus and Molly, but that's only because they've been here with us, but other than that – well maybe Arthur but only because of Molly, and I think maybe some of the Order –"

"Mom," Buffy interjected. "Off track."

"Right," she nodded, correcting her train of thought. "Well, I guess, what I'm trying to say is that we're sorry. You shouldn't've found out this way, and we know should've told you. Right from the start."

"But with your temper you can understand why we didn't," Sirius said to the Slayer.

Buffy narrowed her eyes at him, and when she noticed that Harry had nodded a very small nod in agreement beside her, he was next to receive her heated glare. Which caused Harry to take one long step away from her.

"Why do I let you keep talking?" Joyce told Sirius.

"Because you couldn't stop him if you tried," remarked Buffy.

"Smart girl," Sirius said as he pointed to her.

"She has her moments," added Harry. Did he just say that?

Joyce and Sirius smiled while Buffy glared once again. It came out of him so naturally. The mocking and teasing he'd seen being shared between Sirius, Joyce, Remus, and Buffy so often, and had even envied, seemed unattainable to him. Like he would never be able to have that same kind of flow and easiness with them like Buffy did. But apparently all it took was just the right moment. He let his guard down and the teasing popped out of his mouth without his realizing it. And when he noticed that no one looked at him funny or insulted, well except for Buffy of course, he finally felt like his little puzzle piece was beginning to find its way into the picture.

"You know, boys with half a brain shouldn't throw stones," she retorted.

"Half a brain?!" he repeated, irked at her comment.

"And apparently hard of hearing."

"Better to have half a brain than to have no sense."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Face to face, voices rising, arms waving, and faces moving rapidly from one expression to another, they had to admit, it was pretty entertaining to watch, and Sirius couldn't help himself. Especially when the little scene reminded him of what Buffy had observed only minutes ago.

"Does that sound like bickering to you?" he asked loudly to no one in particular.

That did it. The word 'bonehead' was stuck in Buffy's throat when Sirius's voice cut through their quarreling. And even with Harry's half a brain, and Buffy's lack of sense, they knew exactly what he was insinuating. Which caused them to take a small step away from each other, their eyes to move awkwardly every which way, and their cheeks to pink up.

"Was it something I said?" Sirius asked, making his voice sound as innocent as possible.

"You're an evil man, you do realize that?" Buffy asked rhetorically.

"Yes," he answered, nonetheless.

Never will there be one like Sirius Black. They knew that for a fact.

"Back to the original topic," Joyce segued, wanting to clear the air and get this all over with. "Even if it's a little late, I wanted to be sure that both of you are okay with this. With Sirius and I."

Are they okay with it? It's not like they really had a choice, did they? So, their response was pretty much moot here, wasn't it? But Sirius and Joyce weren't asking for their permission, they were asking for their blessing. So, it was up to Buffy to be the dutiful daughter, and for Harry to be the dutiful godson. And it's not like they really had any qualms about it, expect, for you know, the ick factor, but that's what usually comes with parents, and parental figures, having romantic feelings towards anybody.

"I'm not gonna lie and say it isn't going to be a little weird. At first," Buffy said, and looked at her mother. "At least we know he's not a robot," she teased, and Joyce felt her face flush as she narrowed her eyes, and Buffy continued on before she could say a word, "but if mom's happy then I'm happy. Just no heavy petting when I'm around okay?"

"What about my happiness?" Sirius asked.

"Moot," she stated quickly.

"Harry?" Joyce asked, ignoring the rapport after giving a warning eye to Buffy that said they would talk about her little robot comment later.

"Well, as long as Sirius is happy, a-and you're both happy…" he trailed off, indicating his blessing.

"See, he cares," said Sirius.

Buffy couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"Oh…poo," she retorted, the only word that seemed to spring to mind.

"Don't poo me," he said, sounding offended.

"I can poo you if I want."

"Well…poo to you, too."

"You can't poo me, I pooed you first."

And so it went on. Joyce and Harry looked at each other, confirming that they each had a witness. A witness to the fact that this conversation, where poo was the actual topic, was actually going on.

"Wait," said Sirius. "Robot?"


"Dumbledore wants you to stop having those dreams about Voldemort," said Hermione, reaching for another roll. "Well, you won't be sorry not to have them anymore, will you?"

"But extra lessons with Snape?" said Ron, sounding aghast. "I'd rather have the nightmares!"

So would Harry. But it's not like he had a choice in the matter. He didn't really have much choice in anything these days.

Occlumency: The magical defence of the mind against external penetration. An obscure branch of magic, but a highly useful one. So, Snape had explained. And lucky Harry Potter was going to be receiving private lessons of Occlumency from Snape himself. Fun.

The sour-faced Professor had come to Grimmauld Place to reveal the joyful news himself earlier that day. And when Harry made his way down to the kitchen, where Snape had been waiting, the sight that greeted him once he opened the door was not one he had expected to see…

Sirius was sitting near the long kitchen table, his eyes intent on the two other people in the room. His face frowning and his eyes sparkling with restrained anger. His gaze unwavering from the murmured conversation going on near him. A conversation between Professor Snape and Buffy Summers.

Their voices were hushed, but angry. Buffy's arms were firmly placed across her chest and her face was harder than Harry had ever seen it. Snape held himself in that cold distant manner he always seemed to possess, and though his face remained blank, his eyes were shining with fury.

"…understand that it's so simple."

"Nothing about this is simple, Miss Summers. I am very well aware of that fact."

"If you were so aware you wouldn't be asking this."

"And if you didn't possess the mind of a child, you would be able to understand why I must."

"It's not out of must, Professor, it's out of personal curiosity. And not until Dumbledore –"

"Harry," Sirius announced suddenly, and it served its purpose.

All three turned to look at Harry, who had become very uncomfortable at the quick silence. The tension still heavy in the room, despite the slight distraction he had provided.

Buffy's face still held that hard look and her arms were still in place as she looked away from him. Her posture screaming rage and aggravation as she glanced at Sirius briefly and then at Professor Snape before marching out of the room without a single word to anybody.

Harry watched her go, his mind a race of curiosity. He had never seen her look so angry before. And he'd been at the receiving end of her anger enough times to know.

Harry sighed as he poked the food on his plate, remembering the scene. It was bad from the very moment he pushed that kitchen door open. After Buffy had gone, and Harry was told of his new schedule of Occlumency lessons once a week, Snape and Sirius had gotten into an argument. As hostile enemies tend to do. They ridiculed and yelled and had come close to blowing the other one out of existence. And if it hadn't been for Mrs. Weasley and the Weasley clan, plus Hermione, coming into the kitchen to announce Mr. Weasley's recovery and better health, they would have.

Now they were all gathered in the kitchen the day before the children were to return to school. And the night's meal should have been a cheerful one, with Mr. Weasley back amongst them, and Snape very far away from the house. Harry could tell Sirius was trying to make it so, yet when his godfather was not forcing himself to laugh loudly at Fred and George's jokes or offering everyone more food, his face fell back into a moody, brooding expression. One in which even Joyce was unable to smooth over. And Buffy herself was in no better state. She smiled politely whenever the Twins tried to make her laugh. Only spoke when spoken to. Picked at her food and only took bites when prodded. Her mind was focused somewhere else. With the topic that had caused the argument with Snape most likely. It didn't sit well with Harry. He didn't like to see her bothered. But as much as that plucked a string, seeing Sirius in a foul mood strummed the whole instrument.

Harry was separated from him by Mundungus and Mad-Eye, who had dropped in to offer Mr. Weasley their congratulations. Harry wanted to talk to Sirius, to tell him he shouldn't listen to a word Snape said, that Snape was goading him deliberately and that the rest of them didn't think Sirius was a coward for doing as Dumbledore told him and remaining in Grimmauld Place. But he had no opportunity to do so, and, eyeing the ugly look on Sirius's face, Harry wondered occasionally whether he would have dared to mention it even if he had the chance.


The holidays were over. No more sleeping in late. No more laying around with having nothing to do. After today, it was back to too much homework, headaches, teachers, and…ugh! Umbridge.

Everyone had gathered in the kitchen that morning for one final meal together. Buffy seemed to have brightened overnight and even Sirius, who still looked a bit sour from the day before, was in a better mood. There was no doubt in Harry's mind that Ms. Summers had something to do with that. They were all saying their goodbyes, the Weasley's taking a little longer than the rest of them, and Harry was pushing his brain for something to say to his godfather. Because Harry had a bad feeling about this parting; he didn't know when they would see each other again and he felt it was incumbent upon him to say something to Sirius to stop him from doing anything stupid. Harry was worried that Snape's accusation of cowardice had stung Sirius so badly he might even now be planning some foolhardy trip beyond Grimmauld Place. Before he could think of what to say, however, Sirius had beckoned him to his side.

"I want you to take this," he said quietly, thrusting a badly wrapped package, roughly the size of a paperback book, into Harry's hands.

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"A way of letting me know if Snape's giving you a hard time. No, don't open it in here!" said Sirius, with a wary look at Mrs. Weasley, who was trying to persuade the twins to wear hand knitted mittens. "I doubt Molly would approve – but I want you to use it if you need me, all right?"

"Okay," said Harry, stowing the package away in the inside pocket of his jacket, but he knew he would never use whatever it was. Harry would never lure Sirius from his place of safety, no matter how badly Snape might treat him in their forthcoming Occlumency classes.

"What are you two whispering about over here?" Buffy asked, strolling towards them.

"Just a little man to man conversation," Sirius replied.

Buffy paused. "Too easy." And shook her head.

"Ready to go?" Joyce asked, coming to stand beside Buffy, along with Remus.

"Actually, Harry," said Sirius, turning to the aforementioned boy. "I need to speak with this lot in private if you don't mind."

"Oh, uh, no, of course not," said the dutiful godson, even if that little twinge of envy pinched again. But this time it was definitely very little.

"What did I do now?" Buffy asked, once Harry had left.

"What makes you think you did anything?"

"Teenage mind-set."

"Right," he nodded. "Well, even if I'm pretty sure you did do something wrong, I actually wanted to ask you about something that's been bothering me."

"Okay."

"How in Merlin's name did you get Kreacher to be so nice to you?"

It was about time someone asked. Sure, they wondered, but not one person had actually come straight out and asked her. And it wasn't like it was some sort of secret. It was quite simple actually.

"I gave him a cookie."

…Huh?

"A cookie?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, you know, one of those sweet, little, round, crumbly, things. I think the Brits call it a biscuit…"

"Ha, ha," he sardonically replied.

"Why would you give him a cookie?" inquired Sirius.

"Why not?" she shrugged.

"Do I really need to answer that?"

She didn't really expect any of it to make sense, did she?

"He was up in my room one day, scouring for hidden treasure, and I had overindulged on portion size, so I offered him one," she said. "It looked like he was about to have a heart attack. But then he took it, got all whimpery, and kept saying how no one's been good to him in such a long time, which was kind of sad to see, really. I mean, it was just a cookie. It's not like I gave him a kidney. But, anyway, he's been nice to me since then."

"Honey. Vinegar," Joyce said in that tone of voice that made it sound like this wasn't the first time she had stated it.

"Vinegar," Sirius said quickly, and Joyce rolled her eyes. What was the point, seriously?

"I'm surprised he took it," Remus uttered.

"Why wouldn't he? I fit into all of his morbid little standards. The only bad thing is my association with you," Buffy said to Sirius.

"Which should be reason enough for him."

"Should but isn't. You're just jealous 'cause he likes me better."

"Right, I'm green with envy," Sirius sarcastically drawled.

"It's mighty big of you to admit that," she said, slapping his back. "Plus, I think it also has to do with the fact that your mother doesn't scream when I'm around and stops if I am."

"That's right," he nodded. "How did you manage that by the way?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Threatened to pull her portrait off the wall."

"You-you can do that?" Joyce asked, amazed at the strength slayers possessed.

"You can do that and you've been letting us suffer her screaming all this time?" Sirius asked before she answered, irritated at the unnecessary torture he had been subjected to.

"It was funny," she said innocently.

"She can't do that," Remus interjected.

"What?"

"Spoil my fun," she pouted. Of course, Remus would know she couldn't. Sometimes he was too smart for his own good.

"It's called a Permanent Sticking Charm for a reason, even a slayer, no matter how strong, can't just pull it off the wall. It's impossible."

"Is that true?" Sirius asked.

"Yes," she answered reluctantly.

"But my mother believes you can?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Well, as Mr. Fun-Sucker here explained, I can't take it off the wall, but I was able to budge enough of it off to make it seem like I can."

"Mr. Fun-Sucker?" Remus asked.

"I found it fitting."

"How much did you budge?" asked Sirius.

"Bottom corner. Completely off. Definitely put some fear in her."

"That's…impressive," said Remus.

"Impressive? Yes. Easy? No. I had to use every ounce of strength and then some. I think I got a hernia afterwards."

"As long as you got my mother thinking you can yank her off the wall, and keep her quiet, you can pull every muscle in your body."

"Thank you so much for your concern."

"Moot," he grinned.

"Yes you are," she said, smiling as Sirius's grin turned to a pout.

"All right, before this starts another round of moots and poos, Buffy, you should head on upstairs before they leave without you," Joyce said.

"Poo?" asked Remus.

"Don't ask."

"Or I could just stay here," Buffy casually said. "You know home schooling is so underrated these days, I'm sure you and –"

"Upstairs."

"You just don't want me to educate myself, do you?"

"No, I don't, that's why I'm sending you to school."

"I knew it."

"Come on," Remus smiled, hands on Buffy's shoulders and pushing her to the door.

"Wait," she called, stopping immediately in her tracks. Remus's hands slipping off her as she turned around to face Sirius. "I love my mother and I will do anything to protect her." The sudden, out of the blue, statement of her words took them by surprise. Though the tone of her voice assured them that she was very serious, and that sent a little prickle of fear down Sirius's spine. "And if you hurt her…let's just say I won't need a wand to make my point. Clear?"

"Yeah," he squeaked, and cleared his throat to gain his normal voice. "I mean yes."

"Good," she smiled cheerily.

Buffy walked to her mother and hugged her one last time, gave Sirius a pat on the pack as she passed him, and then she and Remus went up the stairs before they were left behind.

Sirius stared at the empty doorway. The chill still fluttering down his spine at having faced, whom he was sure, was Slayer-Buffy. "Just so you know, your daughter is absolutely terrifying when she wants to be."

The children, plus their escorts Remus and Tonks, who was disguised today as a tall, weedy woman with iron-grey hair, were gathered in the cold. The door of number twelve slammed shut behind them. When they reached the pavement, Harry looked round. Number twelve was shrinking rapidly as those on either side of it stretched sideways, squeezing it out of sight. One blink later, it had gone.

"Come on, the quicker we get on the bus the better," said Tonks, and Harry thought there was nervousness in the glance she threw around the square.

Lupin flung out his right arm and BANG!

A violently purple, triple-decker bus had appeared out of thin air in front of them, narrowly avoiding the nearest lamppost, which jumped backwards out of its way. A thin, pimply, jug-eared youth in a purple uniform leapt down on to the pavement and said, "Welcome to the –"

"Yes, yes, we know, thank you," said Tonks swiftly. "On, on, get on –"

And she shoved Harry forwards towards the steps, past the conductor, who goggled at Harry as he passed. And didn't get much better for the rest of the trip.

"Looks like we'll have to split up," said Tonks briskly, looking around for empty chairs. And not seeing any that would put them all together. "Buffy, Fred, George, and Ginny, if you just take those seats at the back…Remus can stay with you."

The quintet walked to the back of the bus, settling into their chairs as the rest of the group made their way up to the very top of the deck.

After paying the fare, the bus set off. Shaking and rumbling on its journey. And throwing the occupants out of their seats on every stop it made.

"Listen, it's 'Ogwarts stop after this," said Stan Shunpike, the conductor, after letting off one of its passengers.

The bus kept moving, gathering speed, until –

BANG!

They were rolling through a snowy Hogsmeade. Harry caught a glimpse of the Hogs Head down its side street, the severed boar's head sign creaking in the wintry wind. Flecks of snow hit the large window at the front of the bus. At last, they rolled to a halt outside the gates to Hogwarts. Lupin and Tonks helped them off the bus with their luggage, then got off to say goodbye. Harry glanced up at the three decks of the Knight Bus and saw all the passengers staring down at them, noses flat against the windows.

"You'll be safe once you're in the grounds," said Tonks, casting a careful eye around at the deserted road. "Have a good term, okay?"

"Look after yourselves," said Lupin, shaking hands all round and paused when he reached Harry. "And listen…" he lowered his voice while the rest of them exchanged last-minute goodbyes with Tonks, "Harry, I know you don't like Snape, but he is a superb Occlumens and we all – Sirius included – want you to learn to protect yourself, so work hard, all right?"

"Yeah, all right," said Harry heavily, looking up into Lupin's prematurely lined face. "See you, then."

Harry watched as he made his way over to Buffy, hugged her tightly and pulled away shortly as he said something to her. She nodded, hugged him one last time and made her way to Ginny. Not noticing the worried expression she was receiving in her wake. And Harry could see from his standpoint that Remus was not the only one as Tonks, too, looked at the blonde girl with a touch of concern on her face.

Six of them struggled up the slippery drive towards the castle, dragging their trunks, while one was only pretending to stress over the weight of her luggage. Hermione was already talking about knitting a few elf hats before bedtime, and Fred and George were having a small snow-fight with Buffy and Ginny. Harry glanced back when they reached the oaken front doors; the Knight Bus had already gone and he half-wished, given what was coming the following evening, that he was still on board.