Author's Note: Me and my emotions! Ahhh! This chapter's inspired by one of my favorite songs.. it's called, A Little Too Not Over You, by David Archuleta.

Heartland:

Chapter 12: Worried Minds

Si vis amari, ama

(If you wish to be loved, love. )

-Seneca

Sawyer frowned. He felt Juliet get up and wander out of the make-shift tent, heading once again over to the tree-line. It had been three days since they'd gotten her back and returned to the beach. Three days since she'd truly talked to him. Early morning it seemed to be the same thing as the previous. She would wake up, wander off alone, and empty out the contents of her stomach without waking anyone up. Or, he assumed she thought she woke nobody up. But he had gotten up every single time.

He sighed and stood, getting out of their little make-shift home and followed her this time. He squatted down behind her, holding her hair back for her.

Juliet allowed her eyes to soften at the realization that Sawyer had gotten up with her this time. When she finished, she glanced at him, then out at the water. Most people didn't have the gaul to stand there and watch another person vomit. She would have to give him credit.

Kate glanced at Jack as he sat down beside her, watching Juliet and Sawyer off in the distance.

"It's strange, right?" Jack questioned, watching the two.

Kate said nothing in response.

"It's stange for us to see them like this," he admitted. "Because what we were used to seeing, was the exact opposite.."

Kate smiled a little. "Do you wish you could go back?" she asked. "Go back and make things right with her?"

Jack glanced at Juliet off in the distance once more. Watched as she stared at Sawyer and smiled at him. "No.." he stated.

Kate narrowed her eyes. "Why not?" she asked. "If I recall.. she used to look at you the way she now looks at Sawyer.."

"Not exactly.." Jack admitted. "The way she's been looking at Sawyer.. she never looked at me like that Kate," he explained. "Her and Sawyer.. they had three years together," he told Kate. "Her and I.. it doesn't even come close."

Kate smiled a little and nodded. "Do you think they're going to tell us why she's sick?" she questioned.

Jack glanced at her. "You can't tell?" he asked.

Kate raised an eyebrow up at him.

"My guess.. morning sickness.." Jack stated, glancing down.

Kate looked on in surprise at the two as they moved and sat down by the water, Sawyer taking Juliet's hand in his. "But Jack.. if she's.."

"I know.." he stated quietly.

Kate covered her mouth with her hand. It had been hard enough not getting upset when she'd found out about the pregnant women on the island. But it was worse to know that someone she actually grew close to, might once again be affected by the strange disease. She admitted, once upon a time she had her doubts about Juliet. But Juliet had changed. She wasn't playing two sides anymore, she had chosen. She was one of them, just as Jack had decided a long time ago.

Juliet glanced down at their intertwined fingers and smiled sadly. "James.."

"Yeah?" he questioned, glancing at her.

"If I die.."

Sawyer frowned. "You're not going to die.."

Juliet smiled a little more. "But if I do.."

"Juliet.." Sawyer stated. "You won't.." he told her, standing up and walking away.

Juliet frowned a little and watched him. "It won't be your fault.." she whispered, glancing down and then back at the water.

Kate stood as Sawyer went into the little make-shift tent. She glanced down at Jack and sighed. "I'm gonna talk to her.."

Jack just nodded.

Kate made her way over to Juliet and sat down beside her.

"Guess you already figured it out.." Juliet stated, not bothering to look at Kate beside her. She wasn't interested in seeing the pity on the other woman's face. Not again.

Kate didn't bother to nod, since Juliet was refusing to look at her anyways. "How far along, do you think?" she questioned.

Juliet smiled a little. "Couldn't tell you.." she stated honestly. "Morning sickness can start around 2 weeks.. can last til'.. well honestly, they say it ends after the first trimester, but some people have it continuously.."

Kate did nod this time. "Are you scared?" she asked, her voice softening.

This time Juliet did look at Kate.

Kate glanced at Juliet, watching as her eyes began to fill with tears.

"I just.." she said quietly. "Yes..." she finally admitted.

Kate smiled a little at Juliet's honesty. "Is that why Sawyer's upset..?"

"No I.." she started, but she stopped and let out a deep breath. "It was what I said.. or tried to say anyways.."

Kate tilted her head slightly. "Want to talk about it?"

Juliet smiled a little. "You know its funny.. that you're the one who keeps trying to make me feel better lately.."

Kate smiled in return.

"I tried to talk about.. what would happen if I died.." Juliet admitted, pulling her knees up and resting her chin on them. "If this.. killed me."

Kate frowned. What would happen if she died? But she understood how the conversation might upset Sawyer as well. "I think.. he's just afraid to lose you, Juliet.." she told her. "He really does love you.."

"I know.." she replied quietly. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it out in a sigh. "Is it stupid?" she asked, without opening her eyes. "For me to be afraid to die?"

Kate could tell Juliet was barely holding on to her sanity at this point. With everything the other woman had gone through on this island, she found it hard to believe Juliet had managed to keep sane. "No.." she answered. "It's never stupid to fear death," she told her.

Juliet bit down on her lip, shaking her head. "I was never afraid of it before.." she admitted. "I used to just sit.. when I was with The Others.. and wish I could die."

Kate opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"I don't want to die, Kate.." she said quietly. "But I keep coming so close.. and now.."

Kate took Juliet's hand in hers and squeezed. "And you won't.." she told her, feeling tears build in her own eyes. "You're not going to die Juliet.."

Juliet remained silent at first. Once she began to speak again, she knew her voice was wavering with all the emotions flooding her now. "Does someone think its funny to make me suffer?" she questioned, the sadness clear in her voice. "Do they get some kind of sick amusement from all the pain they've caused me over the years? I can't deal with all of this.. I always pretended I could, but I can't.."

Kate felt the first tear fall down her cheek at Juliet's words. She was now watching the one person she'd never seen break down, finally break. After over six years on this island, the island was finally tearing this woman apart. She had to wonder if Juliet was right. If someone like Ben, or Richard, thought it was some kind of sick joke to sit here and break the most emotionally stable people down.

Juliet took another deep breath and opened her eyes, glancing in the other direction rather then at Kate. She noticed Amy off in the distance with the baby, motioning her over. She wiped her eyes, shaking her head slightly to put the emotionless steel plate back over her features and stood.

"Juliet?" Kate questioned, glancing at her.

"I'll be back.." Juliet stated sternly before walking off towards Amy.

Kate watched in pure amazement as Juliet transformed immediately back to the Juliet she'd known three years ago. The Juliet who showed no fear. How did she do that? How did anyone?

()()FLASHBACK()()

It had been a month. A month since Juliet had managed to have a decent conversation with Sawyer since their incident in the shower. She'd done her best to avoid him at all costs, not sure if she could let herself feel safe with yet another man. She was tired of the heartbreak. And she was tired of all the let-downs.

She frowned as she looked under the hood of one of the vans, and promptly slammed the hood down. She could hardly think about anything other then him by this point. Avoiding him wasn't helping, and pretending she wasn't feeling anything was only making her feel more. She groaned, pulling a pink bandanna from her hair and throwing it onto the cart with her tools.

This was absolutely ridiculous, she decided. She looked over and noticed Sawyer standing with Horace, Phil, Jerry, Miles and Jin. She picked a hell of a time to be brave, she noted to herself as she pulled her work gloves off. She glanced down at her Dharma jumpsuit, and shrugged. As unflattering as the outfit was, she honestly didn't care at the moment as she promptly decided to head towards the men.

"Oh man, LaFleur.." Miles stated with an amused yet cautionous look. "What'd you do?"

"Huh?" Sawyer stated, looking toward what Miles looked at and seeing Juliet heading towards him. "Uh.. scat.." he told them all, waving his hands at them. "Meeting over.."

Miles and Jin shared a knowing look and wandered away, though not far.

Jerry, Phil and Horace did the same in the opposite direction, also not going far so they could watch what happened.

Sawyer gulped as she was nearly face to face with him and still coming. "Uh.. Juliet I--" he was cut off though.

Juliet didn't bother to listen to what he was about to say. She placed her hand behind his head and pulled his face to hers, kissing him.

Sawyer's surprise didn't last long as he pulled her closer to him and returned the kiss, already forgetting they were right in the middle of the damn place and almost everyone in the immediate area was currently watching them in a stunned silence.

Juliet pulled away first and said nothing as she stared at him. She wasn't entirely sure what to say to him.

Sawyer opened his eyes and looked at her. At first he was too stunned to speak, but once it wore off he just smiled at her. He placed his hand on her cheek.

Juliet smiled a little at him in return. "I'm sorry, James.." she said quietly.

"Don't be.." he told her. "We all get scared, Juliet.." he explained.

Juliet opened her mouth to speak again when Sawyer's mouth once again covered hers, his hand still gently placed on her cheek. It was the first time a kiss made her stomach flip and her knees weak, and she was almost positive she'd never quite felt the way she felt now, for anyone else ever before. How had Sawyer gotten under her skin so quickly, so easily?

The sudden applause made them pull apart and look around at where they were.

Juliet blinked, already having forgotten that she had built up her courage during the middle of the day, out in the open. She glanced around, then back at Sawyer who just looked mildly amused by the sudden attention. "I uh.. should go back to work.." she muttered, turning to walk away when Sawyer grabbed her hand. She turned and looked at him only to have him kiss her again. She laughed and pulled away after and moment, playfully slapping him on the side of the face. "Why don't you come over around 7?" she questioned. "I'll make dinner.."

Sawyer grinned at her. "Sounds like a plan," he told her, letting go of her hand and watching her walk away. Honestly he was glad she confronted him, he was planning on doing that later tonight.

()()END FB()()

"Amy.. How are you?" she questioned, standing far off with the other woman.

Amy smiled at her. "Please.. my real name is Amelia," she admitted. "But you can still call me Amy if you want."

Juliet stood in a stunned silence. Amelia? She knew Amelia.. she realized. She stared at the woman in shock. Had Amelia known who she was the entire time? She must have. "Oh my.. you knew.." she whispered.

Amy narrowed her eyes. "What?" she questioned, forgetting for just a moment that Juliet was from the future. "Oh.." she stated. "I nearly forgot.." she admitted. "You know me from your own time?"

Juliet frowned. Then she simply nodded.

Amy grinned. "Well, good to know I'm still around in.. whatever time you happen to be from."

Juliet smiled a little before looking at the baby in Amy's arms. So.. that explained how Ethan became an Other. Amy was Amelia.. Amelia was an Other.

"You wanna hold him?" she questioned, holding baby Ethan out to her.

Juliet laughed a little. If it hadn't been awkward when she realized Ethan was, well.. Ethan. It was even more awkward to be able to hold the man as an infant.

"Oh come on," Amy said with a smile. "You can hold him while I tell you the good news."

Juliet accepted the bundled up infant into her arms and cradled him, then glanced at Amy. "What good news?" she questioned curiously.

"Richard, he talked with Jacob," she stated with a smile. "He sent me to tell you, he can send you and Jim.. James.. to the mainland," she explained. "He says its the least he can do after all he's put you both through.."

Juliet stared at her, once more, in a stunned silence. She glanced down at the little boy in her arms and smiled at him. "He's really going to let us leave?"

Amy nodded. "As long as you want to go, he'll show you the way.."

Juliet wasn't sure what to say as she felt her eyes fill with tears.

"But its only for you and James.." she admitted.

Juliet glanced back, watching as the other survivors all watched her with Amy and the baby. "What about everyone else?" she questioned with worry. "What happens to them?"

"Richard said nothing will happen to them," Amy assured her. "They'll be safe here.."

Juliet nodded a little. "I have to tell James.."

Amy smiled and nodded. "Of course.." she told her, accepting Ethan back into her arms. "I'll come back tomorrow, before dawn.." she explained. "If you and James want to go.. you meet me right here."

Juliet nodded, letting baby Ethan hold onto her finger for a moment before pulling her hand away and smiling at Amy once again. "Amy.. Amelia.. thank you."

"It's the least I can do.." she told her before walking off.

Juliet closed her eyes and sighed. She wondered if James would be willing to really leave everyone behind, really be willing to leave their chance at getting back to their own time.. here in the past.

()()END()()

You know. Originally I was going to end it soon and do a sequel, but I might just keep going on this story. We'll see.